yogen | lower

( being stabbed gets a lot less fun the second time around, amami thinks. at least the first time, he'd managed to accomplish something by taking that hit — this time though? there's no satisfaction in it as he sets himself up in the nurse's office, shirt folded beside him so that he can re-wrap his own bandages. the nurse is out tending another student for now. basketball, you know how it is.

anyway, he'd timed it like this on purpose, and even if he's not necessarily trying to hide his fresh wound... he still doesn't want to make a big deal of it. that's probably the reason he jumps a little when he hears the office door click open, pausing a moment before he peeks around the small infirmary curtain that's set up to see who's coming in. kaneko-kun? kaneko-kun? kaneko-kun? )

AMAMI-SAN!

[ Amami will wish it was Seiya in a moment, because Sara catches sight of him the insant he pokes his head around the corner. The little curtain is nothing, Sara wrenches it back half a second she enters the room, looming over Amami with a furious expression. N-normally walking in on shirtless guys isn't her thing, but her eyes are fixed on the bloody bandages at his side. ]

You damn idiot! You...you you don't play along when it just words, but you'll let someone stab you for a theory that wasn't even true!?! [ It's good the office is empty because Sara is shouting, loud enough it must echo down the hallways. She can't even keep her hands still, gesturing wildly as she stands above Amami. ]

( oh jeez. he feels like he's going to be bowled over by the strength of her voice alone, wincing a little as she marches straight on in and gives him the beginning of what he can only imagine is about to be the scolding of a lifetime here. he'll let her get through that first bit, and with a half-hearted attempt at a smile, give a shot at reassuring her, kind of. at least correcting her. please ma'am, he's not trying to die at this precise point in time. )

I mean, it's not like I let him stab me.

( he chose the wrong dialogue option and suddenly the knife was there, that's all. )

Calm down, Chidouin-san. I'm fine, aren't I? So there's no need to be so loud.

( this is harry potter howler letter experience number two for him. )

Oh?

[ He's great at choosing the wrong dialogue option, because Sara leans down, somehow looking more passionatly furious then ever. Oh sure, sure you didn't "let" him. ]

I kind of doubt it! You're pretty aware of your surroundings...and you're not a bad fighter. If you got stabbed like this, you must have been doing something stupid!

[ Maybe that did get a bit loud...she winces as she hears it. Sara straightens up to heave a long suffering, shaking sigh and then shoves a container of cookies his direction. ]

Just take this, because I'm sorry, okay?

I'll admit, thinking I could talk my way out of it probably wasn't the smartest move...

( seriously though, who wants to fight an underclassman who just lost his twin sister? nobody, that's who. so super high school level wrong dialogue option it is. it's fine, sara can match him, because he's still making a face that says he's not really too flattered by the compliments to his fighting skills. he does not want to be fighting out here in the first place, never mind being good at it.

not the point though. the point is the cookies. )

But there's nothing to be sorry about — pretty sure you didn't do it because you hated me, right?

( he'll accept them, setting them beside him a moment while he finishes clipping the bandage. )

I kinda get it, y'know. Sometimes... no matter how much you want to trust someone, you don't really get a choice. Places like this don't give you one.

( "places like this," he says, as if this is a common occurrence and there's yogens all across the country. but it's fine, because he's going to go ahead and pull his shirt back on — a little slowly as that wound reminds him not to get too ahead of himself when he stretches the wrong way. )

[ They are good cookies. Lemon shortbread. Please enjoy them when you are not being stabbed. ]

But you're stabbed, and I'm the one who accused you. I can't ignore my own responsibility. So I am sorry. I'll find some way to make it up.

[ Trust... she doesn't disagree but it doesn't mean she likes it. Half of her wonders if Amami knows her own situation, what "places like this" would have meant to Sara. Komeada knows, and Kaede used too. Old curiosity flares if he'd gone through something similar to those two, they'd come from the same place, but she squashes it. She's heard enough about that kind of game from Komeada and if Amami had gone through something similar...then it really wasn't the same. ]

It doesn't feel good to distrust others, I don't like it. I thought I didn't have a choice, that if I just put the pressure on someone, perhaps we'd get new information. People are so good at lying, and I'm not that smart! You just have to, to do what they don't expect, to try and nitpick every detail! That's what I thought anyway...

[ She looks away as Amami pulls his shirt on, tearing her eyes of the bandages. ]

It was naive. I...people died because I recklessly spoke my mind before. Not because what I accused, so I thought it was fine, but I must had misjudged. I didn't account for Hiro, he didn't react so I thought he'd understood when it seemed like everyone had proven your innocence!

It doesn't feel good, and you can't always predict what others are going to do... but I think if anybody's going to decide whose fault it is that it ended up happening, that'd be me. You didn't put the knife in his hand, Chidouin-san, and you didn't make Arisu-kun do what he did.

( he offers a shrug, like it wasn't a big deal. he can't bring himself to blame hiro either, considering the circumstances... )

I'll get better, and it'll be water under the bridge.

( because it's a stab wound, yeah. it sucks, but it's something that will ultimately heal with time. something he'll be able to overcome. )

So let me make that decision myself. I mean, if I'm honest? Just the fact that you care this much about what happens to a guy like me already means a lot.

Even if you don't blame me, I want to be better. I promise I will be.

[ Even Amami being a Chill Guy won't stop Sara's nigh hyperactive need to try harder to protect people. But thats an issue for later~ ]

Of course I care. We're allies aren't we? Friends even. I'm not letting you die for someone else's grief. ...Hiro should have listened to what I said to Stephanie instead. Revenge doesn't make you feel better.

[ It could be he's run off somewhere to cry and theres no harm done, but Sara should keep an eye out. If he's unstable and willing to hurt others, the group should be on alert. ]

He should have, yeah, but when you lose someone that important to you, you don't really... think straight.

( there's some hesitation as he tries to think of how to word it, how to express that feeling that bubbles up. no matter how much it might not make you feel better, it might not bring them back, there's still the fact that someone was taken from you, and isn't it a gut instinct to want to take something from them in return? if not that, a desire to protect the ones who might've been next?

maya certainly didn't do anything wrong to deserve that. no more than rika had, so... he thinks he understands, if only a little bit. )

Anyway, it's fine. You don't need to promise me — I know you'll do your best, Chidouin-san. I'm lucky to be able to be considered a friend by someone like you.

No...you really don't.

[ Grief is hard. It was so hard, that when Sara lost someone important to her, she had to forget him. So she assumes anyway. She must have felt terrible to end up like this. She stands in silence for a while, inclining her head when he says she doesn't need to promise him, but she doesn't take it back. It's a promise after all, and she's going to try and keep it.

...Standing in silence is boring, but she doesn't want to leave. With a sigh, Sara sits down on the foot of Amami's bed, kicking her legs against the metal of the cot. ]

So...what do you even make of this then?

[ This. ]

( he won't comment as she sits down, though he does look a little expectant towards her. he'd been thinking of leaving himself, but... in a situation like this, he doesn't blame her if it's company she wants — not that he's the best one to offer it. he'll hear out her question though. as he does, there's a bitter smile on his features, a bit defeated even as he huffs a small sigh. )

Of course I don't like it... I mean, Arisu-san, I'm sure she didn't do anything to deserve this.

( well, there was the student council election she'd held before, but... was that really enough to warrant these lengths? it feels... excessive. puts a bad taste in his mouth, even if he's able to keep his expression mostly even, gazing over at the window into the courtyard.

... )

Do you still think it was about the contract?

What other reason is there?

[ She'll flop back on the bed, spreading her arms wide to take up the entire bottom half. Sorry if you wanted to nap here, Amami. Sara needs to stare at the ceiling and think. ]

The way she died makes it seem like a grudge...Arisu-san was a little cold but I haven't met anyone who seemed to hate her. She just...died like that and people stand to gain from a power vacuum. So...

[ Sara wasn't there for the election, so she never saw Maya do anything bad. It is excessive. Only Joshua's tampering had been this cruel. ]

But thats so easy, isn't it? Killing people for power is so boring, everyone does it.

That's how the world works, isn't it...

( an unfortunate truth. no matter how much it might be one he'd prefer to look away from, he sees it over and over again. amami pulls one leg up under himself, feeling all at once restless and nauseous from the topic, but schooled into a calm facade in voice and expression both. )

But I guess it makes sense why you were pressing to know what I wanted, in that case...

( in a crowded room no less, with no sense for the fact that it may be something he'd rather keep quiet. the infirmary though... the infirmary is quiet.

he looks over to gauge her reaction. )

I didn't always think like this. Its just...you know...something I picked up...? It's annoying, I used to be really optimistic about people.

[ Just a bunch of unfortunate truths in this here hospital room. She looks over at Amami as well. He's always very hard to read...that flat kind of demeanor that just screams suspiciousness. It's not unusual she can't tell what he's thinking, if he's uncomfortable with this line of discussion. ]

I am sorry... [ And she really is. She'd just do it again in a heartbeat. ] I don't think you did it anymore. I never really felt it could be you, 100%. I was trying hard to be your friend. I'm just not very optimistic anymore.

I get it. It doesn't feel very good to be suspicious of the people around you.

( he'd know. had to pick up the same habit at some point, and... it's a difficult one to drop, once it's in your hands. once you see the way that people tend to be. the way that they are. it's certainly not something that you become on purpose, and if there was a way to undo it, he doesn't doubt that the both of them would jump at the chance. )

Anyway, I already said that's nothing to apologize over. Like I said... if you'd be willing to consider someone like me as a friend, I'd be lucky for that.

( but he still doesn't sound certain that she would be... by no fault of hers, mind you. )

You weren't wrong either, about my wish.

I wasn't?

[ She sits up suddenly, looking at Amami with a slight tinge of panic. ]

Were you listening when I talked to Subaru? My...theory...It was a cruel thing to say, I know, but I'm just worried!

[ She said it out loud in a crowded room, but it wasn't something she wanted Amami to here. It's not a bad wish, to want to help a kid like Keigo! If it was between them and Maya, Sara would have a really hard time knowing what to do. Still, it feels cruel in a way she can't quite put words on. Something like how killing Kanna instead of Sou had been cruel, even if she'd felt like it was the right choice at the time. ]

Edited 2022-02-14 09:14 (UTC)

That's not what I meant.

( he picks up on the panic, and jumping to his own assumption, feels the need to shut it down immediately. he's not confessing to murder here; he's already done that once. )

I just mean, yeah, the content of it. It's about Kamo-kun, and I don't want to bring them into things with the whole group there, even as a motive.

( he breathes out, a tired, resigned exhale. )

Paints a target on their back, you know? I mean, say Arisu-kun decided to blame them instead of me... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something like that happened.

( keigo is a good kid... there's no way they could have defended themselves in a situation like that. )

If Arisu...he wouldn't...!?

[ Despite all her talk of not being optimistic, the look of horror on her face makes it clear she hadn't even considered the idea someone might take out their anger on Keigo of all people. They were only a little kid! You can't...take things out on a kid like that. It's not good at all. ]

He didn't. [ That's what she'll end on. He didn't, he took it out on Amami and Amami is fine. Sara might have messed up, but nobody is dead. ] He didn't though, Tenshu is fine.

...But they're not going to be right? At the end of the year...something is going to happen. You want to save them.

[ The unspoken question hangs in the air: How? ]

Something like that.

( it's a strange feeling, the way the dread he's grown so accustomed to, settled permanently in the pit of his stomach, mingles with something like relief at the weight of a secret lifted. )

I guess I did promise I would tell you, huh...

( an excuse. an out, in the case of his own failure. he still has cards up his sleeve, even if things are coming to this, but it's still... )

Kamo-kun has a contract, see... If it ends up being fulfilled, they'll disappear at the end of the year. They won't die, like Arisu-san or Kudo-san — they'll be taken out of Samsara completely.

( ... )

They won't exist anymore.

Not exist...? That's possible?

[ This school had seemed so greedy, unwilling to let any of the students here go. Escaping had seemed impossible so...vanishing? She'd known Keigo was going to leave for...somewhere. Somewhere where Sara wouldn't see them, so they wanted her to remember them.

...They weren't going to exist... ]

Why... they're just a kid! What could they want? Oh...oh god.

Yeah... We have a chance, and they're willing to compromise on giving up the contract, but... We don't know if it's still going to be binding, or how to guarantee getting them out of it. So we've been working on that.

( with desperation, as she may have been able to tell. with mixed results, as she may have been able to tell. at least they know now that the stuco contract, the contract that challenges contracts, is a bust; amami will have to continue looking into other avenues. he rubs at the side of his neck, glancing away for a long moment as he pauses. )

Sorry, I know it would have been better to tell you sooner, but to be honest, not even I'm supposed to know...

( and that really stings to admit. )

So I'd appreciate if you didn't bring it up with them directly, 'kay?

Alright.

[ She will talk to them later. Now that she knows...she can't stop thinking about it. Trading their life for a wish. "A stupid kid who thinks her death will fix anything". Why are Sou's words back then coming back to her now. ] I'll keep it a secret.

...I've been looking into magic and contracts myself, Amami-san.

[ She leans a little closer to him, cupping a hand around her mouth just in case anyone outside is listening. ]

Because of Maya...I wanted to know where contracts came from. Do you remember the room we found earlier this month? The one with the blood?

lower

01/29 — sara

smh we lost 70% of the student body and ppl are STILL risking basketball

subaru needs to get those violent impulses out somewhere or we'll be the next mayas

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