Ah shit, here we go again.

[cloversandcranes]

Who: Ishimaru, Komaeda, anyone else
When: January 12th/several days after the invesigation and the discussion that came with it.
What: Makoto finally asks about Kirigiri's and his past fates (maybe even coming clean with his own past) as he struggles with his own demons. Also trying to understand what is happening here at this school since he's new.
Warnings: Talk of deaths from the far and close past. Flashbacks of gruesome murders from the killing game and his experience with the post Tragedy world. Suicidal thoughts and urges with survivor's guilt galore. Danganronpa spoilers everywhere.


The truth always comes out eventually... (Closed to Ishimaru)

[Makoto couldn't ignore it anymore. Ishimaru's reluctance to talk about his past encounters with their friends here, those creepy paintings in the common room...It was all too much for him to ignore anymore. Especially after the investigations and the talk corresponding to it.

So after everyone went their own ways, Makoto followed Ishimaru to their room for the day and waited till they were alone to ask.]

What happened to me? The me that was here before.


Please forgive me, I've got demons in my head. (TW: Dark thoughts such as suicidal thoughts and urges. Hallucinations caused by grief. And just general sadness and helplessness.)

[Several days after the investigation, Makoto found himself on the roof again, alone this time with only the memories of what happened here to keep him company. He didn't know what lead him to return to the roof of all places but he needed space from everything. Even being in a past crime scene was better than dealing with people right now.

His mind was still reeling from all the information he had gained these last couple of days. What happened to his past self, the murders that happened and keep happening here...everything. Why was this happening to everyone? Why was he here?

Sighing in tired resignment, he sat on the edge of the roof and stared at view of the courtyard and beyond below him. How did he get here? After everything, dying and appearing here...He supposed it made sense. After all, what better way for him to reflect on his mistakes than put him in another horrible situation? He deserved it even.

But...could he go through all this again? All the pain and death? The betrayals? Everything he had been fighting to stop before he came here. He didn't have much of a choice in any case, with him being here at this school.

The more he looked down, the more the world seemed to shift around him. He could almost feel Owada and Kuwata at his side as they had done the day they had convinced him to play hooky with them. Kuwata's delighted laughter and words mixed with his dying screams at his execution. The urge to just move closer to the edge was impossible to resist, making him inch closer to the edge of the roof.

Some part of him was yelling at him to back away from the edge and go back inside but the whispers of his dead classmates were simply too enticing for him to listen. Hearing Celeste's refined giggle as she teased their friends, Owada cheering on Fujisaki as they worked together...the sounds of their happy days at Hope's Peak. Ishimaru reprimanding Kuwata for not keeping up with his studies...It felt all so real. What he woud give to go back to that time.

He blinked for a moment and he saw someone walk in the courtyard. They were talking with someone else and had blue hair. It couldn't be, could it? But when the person turned around turned around, he saw the face of Maizono Sayaka, alive and smiling at him. Seeing it so clearly at this distance should have been impossible but the sight of her angelic face blocked out his mind screaming at him to leave.

She waved at him eagerly and motioned for him to come join her. Suddenly the distance between them didn't seem that vast, only a hop and skip away. He could just jump down there, couldn't he? It woudln't hurt and he would be with her again. With all their friends...Suddenly all of their friends were down there too beckoning him to come down. Yells of encouragement filled his mind as he conteplated it.

If someone walks to the roof and enter the scene, they will see Makoto staring down at the courtyard in a distant but yearning expression. He had moved to the edge till his legs dangled off the roof. He might be okay but do you want to risk that chance?]


Not quite friends but not quite strangers (Closed to Komaeda)

[After his hallucinations on the roof and the subsequential talk after, he had rushed off to find someone who could help calm the raging storm of thoughts in his head. He wasn't going to talk about his recent experience on the roof, nor his almost diasterous moment of weakness. He just needed someone who could understand what he was going through. Someone he knew and trusted.

Also his situation here made him worry about the remnants he had sworn to protect. He knew Hinata and Komaeda were here for some reason so something must have happened to them. He hadn't seen Hinata since he arrived but he had seen Komaeda. He just hoped he could talk to him alone.

After a while of searching, he was relieved to find his upperclassman alone on the third floor. What he was doing there wasn't important right now. He just needed to talk to him.]

K-Komaeda-kun? Can I talk to you?


Now I need questions...Now! Answers! I think you mean answers. (Network Post)

Hello everyone. My name is Naegi Makoto, a newcomer of this school. If you're wondering why I'm messaging people now instead of when I arrived, it's simply becuause I cannot sit idle anymore.

I had hoped that this place wasn't as dangerous as I was lead to believe, naively hoping that things would settle down. But after everything that has happened recently...I can't hide from the truth anymore.

I need to know everything that has happened here in the past. And I would like to know about theories of the history of this place and how to escape from here. Anything really...I just need to catch up with things here.

Comments

demons

[miirai]

[Honestly, going to the rooftop to get a breath of fresh air after everything that's happened sounded like a good idea -- it felt almost suffocating to be in that room for so long and talk about the case in such a way.

So when she sees another face -

A slightly familiar one; he had been the one to ask about some specifics, hadn't he?

But then he sees him sitting by the edge, and well...]

You should be careful of where you sit. Someone might come and push you off from there like the last person.

[That's spoken darkly from a few steps behind him.]

Re: demons

[cloversandcranes]

[Makoto jolted in shock at those words, his hallucinations fading as the reality of the situation hit him full force. Scrambling to get away from the edge, he ignored the angry whispers in his head as he turned to stare at the girl. He had seen her before at the discussion. She had been checking hands, having found the girl in the bathroom.]

I...

[He looked back to where he had been sitting in horror, realizing how close he had been to a terrible end. He had terrible nightmares and visions of his dead friends right after the killing game but he had hoped that was the worst of it. He hadn't had such an intense vision like that in a while. Closing his eyes, he put a hand on his chest to calm his racing heart as guilt flooded him. He just got Ishimaru back, how could he have thought of leaving him so soon after their reunion?!

Opening his eyes, he offered a weak smile to Rika as he purposely looked away from the edge. He had almost...No, don't think about it.]

Thanks for the warning.

[His smile slipped somewhat as he heard whispers in his ear again, hissing at him for his cowardice.]

...What brought you here?

Re: demons

[miirai]

[There's a pause for a moment, almost contemplative.

But then she closes her eyes and puts on an all too wide smile that makes her seem almost like she's the child that she's meant to portray, beaming and speaking in a much lighter voice, airy and light.]

Mii... I wanted to get some fresh air! The roof is a nice place for that, right? What about you, sir? Did you also want to get some fresh air, too?

Re: demons

[cloversandcranes]

[Makoto blinked in surprise at the sudden change of tone, staring at Rika in confusion. What? Did he imagine that dark tone? Or was this girl hiding something? Still, he nodded slowly at her question, his heart still racing from everything that had happened in a span of a few minutes.]

A-ah...yeah. After everything...I just needed some fresh air.

[He reinforced his smile even as his ghosts growled at him angrily. He was fine. ...He had to be.]

Re: demons

[miirai]

It's good to get some after everything that's happened, sir! Especially in a place like this.

network: n.ebalon

[silentabyss]

ive been here since late march i think. i cant speak for anything from before march of last year but i know the events that have happened here since then and i have something im trying to do to help people get out

but id rather talk about it in person. the network isnt safe for this kind of talk

can we meet somewhere? i can catch you up on stuff if you have a few hours

Network: m.naegi

[cloversandcranes]

That would be fine. I just used the network so I can people's attention quicker than taking the time to gather a group together.

Where do you want to meet?

[silentabyss]

you know where the dorms are? can you come to moon 3? thats my room with senku

[cloversandcranes]

Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can.

[After sending his last message for now, he put away his PTA and walked out of his room and down the hallway. Looking around, he searched for the room he was going to. Moon 3...Moon 3...Ah! There it is!

After a moment of double-checking that this was the right room, he knocked on the door and waited for a reply.]

[silentabyss]

[Out of said room pops one (1) Noah, who politely opens the door to let his guest in. Senku is absent, so they have the room to themselves. Notably it is covered in cat stuff, and when Noah invites him to sit down, it's in a chair holding a cushion shaped like a cat paw. Noah's cat obsession aside...]

Um... sorry. I-I didn't introduce myself. I'm Noah. Noah Ebalon. [He pulls up Senku's desk chair and sits in it and if Senku returns later and wants his chair, that's his problem. (Aka: Noah will just give it back and sit on the floor.)] Before we start, how much do you know about this place? I don't want to tell you redundant information.

[commences]

( he had saw him at the meeting, and he accepted it as his own hallucinations when he spoke to ranger, because there's no way. it can't be helped that he thinks back to his failure before when the other went missing, and komaeda didn't believe it, he didn't think hope could just... disappear. to calm his thoughts, he's on the third floor searching around to see what he can find that the other's couldn't.

was everything like this before, or had they already noticed it?

this wouldn't be the first time that naegi has found komaeda, it's been multiple times, first as servant, then at the beginning of the school year, and now again that causes him to freeze in place. there's something about someone better than you, someone greater, someone so influential that can lead a myriad amount of people to hope that he feels like he's wasting his time to even be looked for; let alone called out to.

if he's honest, he feels him before he speaks, because there's so much hope that exudes off his body, but there's some concerns here. when he turns his head, he notices a flicker somewhere, and he remains silent wondering if that's a trick of his eye. he manages with a nervous smile, and pale green eyes looking towards the other's direction to finally connect with his.

does he say "welcome back," or does he say something like, "happy to see you,". no, what he knows is that hope shouldn't be here, hope shouldn't die, that's not how it works. )

...Naegi Makoto-kun. ( he pauses, rubbing his hand on the side of his jacket, and the prosthetic whirrs as he waves at the other. ) What can scum like myself do for you?

[cloversandcranes]

[Makoto's worried frown deepened in concern at Komaeda's casual self-deprecation. He always hated when the other talked like that, but he also knew from experience that something this ingrained into you wasn't something you could deal with in a day. Sighing, he shook his head and looked up at Komaeda with beseeching eyes.]

You're not scum Komaeda-kun. You...Nevermind. That's not why I came to you. ...Could you tell me what you remember before coming here? Are the others okay? Did something happen?

[He was already devasted that Komaeda and Hinata were here. But maybe the others were okay back home. He hoped they were, he had worked so hard to keep them safe from danger.]

sdr2/3 spoilers

[commences]

Well, they are Ultimates, there's nothing they can't do!

( he still believes it as he says this, despite their circumstances, despite what they are now. they're ultimates, so they'll be able to defeat that which made them what they are now. he remembers how mahiru calls them sinners for their crimes, how they're all done horrible actions that they can't take back, but komaeda ignores that in virtue of their status. )

...I woke up from the pod where I met Kamukura Izuru, but also Hinata-kun! They're the same, which Hope like yourself would know!

( because hope knows everything, hope is worldwide, and so he knows that naegi is just as smart considering what he's done for the world. )

Mmm. I was fixed up. ( he waves his prosthetic again, normally junko's hand was placed there. ) I saw the feed— ah! You were amazing there, too, in the final battle! ...I don't remember much else.

( the way his words drag off into silence says as much. )

[cloversandcranes]

[Makoto watched Komaeda as he talked, trying to see if he was alright. He looked okay and he certainly wasn't acting much different from before but he wanted to make sure. After all, Makoto had just been introduced to the horrors of this school. He didn't want someone getting hurt on his watch, especially someone under his protection.

Nodding absentmindedly at Komaeda's praise, he put a hand to his chin in thought as he listened. He didn't remember how he got here either. I wonder if that is normal here...]

I see. So you don't remember either. Still, I'm glad everyone is okay.

[A voice that sounded like Maizono whispered in his ear that was then. They could be in trouble now. Closing his eyes in distress at the thought, he shook his head to clear those thoughts from his head. Opening his eyes again, he looked up at Komaeda and offered him a weak smile.]

How are you doing Komaeda-kun? Besides the whole murderous school thing I mean.

[commences]

The only way to appear here is to die, so... maybe they offed me from my incompetency!

( with a smile, he's happy with that fact that as he closes his eyes, there's the slightly crinkle in the corners. after, he drops his hands down by his side as he looks at the other, watching his eyes as he realizes he's being sized up, and so he spins in a 360 turn before he's back where he started. )

...Are you okay, Naegi Makoto-kun?! It might be a lot to take in, but... if you want, I can tell you everything I know!

( encouragement towards that weak smile that worries him to see, why is it weak? ultimate hope can do anything, handle what comes, the amount of stepping stones he's used to make his way towards the end. it's unfortunate that he's here, though, it's the last thing komaeda would even want. )

...Uhm. ( he pauses, looking at the other, and he actively ignores it with his self-deprecation. ) That doesn't matter! Are you hungry?

demons

[necrophily]

[ dito had already been sitting up on the rooftop, although his presence is easily missable -- he's leaning against the side of the entrance into the rooftop after all, since it's more comfortable than leaning against the edge itself. he's in uniform, although it's mussed and has blood stains he clearly hasn't given a shit about washing out. he sits there with his legs splayed out, sipping on a juice box with one hand as his arm is casually wrapped around a spear at his side that looks almost too big for him. he seems comfortable with it, though.

not that naegi's seen him, obviously. and dito squints at the other, watching him for a second and wondering if he should even both saying anything when he's kind of up here to avoid all those annoying other people in the first place. he leans his head back against the wall he's against, watching in an almost lackadaisical and bored way as he finishes his juice box here without feeling any care for what the other is doing.

until he tilts his head when the other gets that close to the roof's edge, an eyebrow rising slightly.

-- oh my god. is this kid doing what dito thinks (hopes?) he's doing?

his eyes practically light up, and he tosses his emptied box across the roof (littering, whatever) straight toward naegi's direction (aiming for the back of his head even) in an attempt to get the other's attention. ]

Hey, new guy!

[ he starts to rise to his feet with a groan as he stretches himself out again after not moving for a while. ]

Re: demons

[cloversandcranes]

[Makoto yelped in surprise when something hit him in the head, causing the hallucinations of his classmates to falter. With their grip lessened, he started to think straight enough to wonder what hit him. What was that? Looking around, he blinked in surprise when he saw Dito staring at him. What was he doing here? And who was he?

Blinking in confusion, he looked for someone else on the rooftop before looking back at the stranger. Rubbing his head, he stumbled over his words as he semi listened to the whispers calling him back to the edge.]

I...You...What are you doing here?

[Unconciously he moved closer to Dito and farther away from the edge to the disappointment of his demons.]

I...didn't see you there.

cw suicide baiting / mention throughout this

[necrophily]

[ dito scrambles to his feet a little more quickly as he notices makoto starting to back up -- ]

Wait, wait, wait-- You're totally gonna jump, yeah? You should jump.

[ he points toward where makoto had just walked away from.

the edge, if you will.

sorry that he's awful. ]

I really wanna see it. You'd make a good "splat", don't you think?

What bastard did he find this time lol

[cloversandcranes]

[Makoto blinked in bewilderment at those words. Jump? Why would he- Realization of what had nearly happened made him gasp in horror as he quickly backed away from the edge. Damn it! He was supposed to be over this! He couldn't do this! People needed him!

Ignoring the whispers of discontent the ghosts in his head spoke, he shook his head at Dito and offered a polite smile.]

Sorry but that show isn't going to happen. Sorry to disappoint you.

[He tried not to shake as thoughts of what could have done flashed in his head. He couldn't-No. He wouldn't leave Ishimaru just as they found each other again.]

...Do you come here often?

The Ishimaru-Shaped Prompt

[moraloutrage]

[Ishimaru is taken off guard by the sudden question from Makoto. He hasn't seen him this determined since the days they took part in class trials together!

He's stopped in his tracks, and he turns to face him.]

Ah... Naegi-kun. To be honest... I do not know the answer for sure. You disappeared. Most of the time when students disappear from this school, they... have died. But I have never found any indication of that happening to you.

[He does know that the meat in the locker at the Home Ec room was apparently human meat, but he has no way of knowing who the meat could have been made from. He never tried it out, or he would have found out if some of it tasted like hope...]

Considering that you do not remember your past times at the school, there is no way to know for sure what happened.

[He might have a more detailed answer about their classmates, however.]

[cloversandcranes]

[Makoto expected a more dreadful answer than just "disappeared" even with the knowledge that disappearing here is usually certain death. Could there be another him hidden somewhere? Or was he the proof that the other him died? He supposed there was no way of knowing.]

I see...What about the others? Like Kirigiri-san? I saw her portrait on the wall at the dormitories...

[Part of him was scared to ask since he had a feeling the answer wasn't good but he had to. He had to know.]

[moraloutrage]

[If there are any answers to that, Ishimaru does not know them. But he wishes to believe that this is the same Naegi he's always known back in one piece.

His follow-up question does stop him in his tracks, and a shadow falls over his face as the memories flash within his mind.]

...A-ah. Kiri... Kirgiri-kun... [His throat feels dry, and he tries to swallow.] So you did... notice that portrait.

[He takes a step back uncertainly, feeling weak all of a sudden.]

...Naegi-kun, I.... I am so sorry...

un: r.ranger

[rearranger]

This is a public forum. It's best not to discuss sensitive matters on here. (●´^｀●)

Where are you? (・・;)ゞ

Network: m.naegi

[cloversandcranes]

Sorry about that. I'm new here. I was trying to get people's attention without taking the time to find them individually but I can see why this wasn't a great plan.

I'm at my room at Stars 2 with Ishimaru-kun. I'm fine meeting somewhere if you'd prefer that.

un: r.ranger

[rearranger]

It's not a bad place to start, but it's safer to have the actual discussion in person. ┐(￣ヘ￣;)┌

That's fine. I'll be there in ten minutes. °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

[ True to his word, he's rapping his knuckles on the door to Star 2 precisely ten minutes after posting the message. ]