[semi-open] sixth truth bullet: future

[futurebullets]

Who: Hajime Hinata and YOU
What: A catch-all log for Hinata throughout the month! Closed things will added by request, open things for stuff outside of event top-levels
Where: Various
When: Both February (post-canon update) and January (pre-canon update)!
Warnings: threads that take place in February may contain spoilers for either Super Dangan Ronpa 2 and/or Dangan Ronpa 3; I'll mark threads from the start if I know they'll have spoilers, and will mark as soon as they pop up otherwise

Notes: (spoiler warning for the link) here is a quick overview of Hinata's whole deal right now and what's changed! you're welcome to opt out of playing with him or this aspect of him if you'd like on my opt-out, but I'll also have another post on his journal soon that will also probably need a lookover for both old and new cr (watch desum and this space)

otherwise, feel free to hit me up at Yamadori for any plotting!

Comments

[closed to Nanami (SDR2)] 2/2, spoilers for sdr2 and dr3

[futurebullets]

[The day that he wakes up a man trapped inside of a boy, he takes longer to process than he intended. Perhaps he talks with Komaeda until the sun sets the rest of the way and it becomes night, or maybe he spends the time after they talk sitting alone with his thoughts and trying to figure out how much of him is really here.

But the moment the next day comes, he doesn't put it off any longer. He needs to see her, see both of them... even if Hinata feels like he doesn't deserve to.

Unfortunately, that also means he has to play the part of a good student, so he can't hurry off to see Nanami right away. He honestly, seriously considers skipping - he's never missed a day of class while he wasn't sick, but it's boring now when he already knows everything and feels like cheating besides. But he's obedient even as it makes him grind his teeth with impatience, because the hassle it will cause if the teacher catches him on schoolgrounds after he skipped is not worth the effort. Ultimately, it wastes time that needs to be spent on Nanami, so he endures it for just a little longer.

Finally, the school day draws to a close - and then he's running, running fast out of the classroom because he can't afford for anyone to get in his way now. His chest burns with the effort, and Hinata realizes he'll miss it when he doesn't have this anymore - he'll never be out of breath when his body is perfect again, so he savors the imperfection while he has it.

It takes too long and not at all, and then he's outside her classroom. He spares seconds to catch his breath, collect himself, and then he's sliding open the door.

Emotions hit him like a truck the moment he lays eyes on her, and that's something he'll miss too one day - he can feel again, in the body that he reclaimed as Hinata's, but it's nothing like this raw and powerful grip on his heart. The way seeing her makes his chest feel like it will burst, burst with nostalgia or grief or mourning or happiness or longing or lo-

He takes a breath. It shakes as he exhales.]

Nanami... [His eyes burn as they search her face. He wonders if she can tell.] If it's alright, I'd like to talk to you. I need to tell you something really important.

nooo not how i fell asleep writing this

[protect]

[ It's a cold but sunny day, and a chill hangs in the school that makes a person want to curl up under the blankets and nap by the fireplace, and it's tempting to do so now. Her eyes droop a little as she packs up her things, lulled by the cold and droning lecture, and there's a little yawn as she makes her way over to the door. It slides open when she's just inches away from it, and it's startling enough to shake the sleepiness out of her. ]

Hinata-kun...?

[ He's out of breath, hurried and shaken, but there's something else that causes her to pause and stare at him. The Hinata she had met here had been different than the one she knew from before. He was from an earlier time and a much later one, as time had continued to pass for him even after leaving her. Now, though, when she looks at him she sees a different person once more - not the person she had entrusted with her hope, nor the person who she had met here, but someone else entirely. It's there in his eyes, in that look he fixes her with and the way that he speaks to her.

She stares in return, and she searches him in turn, the concern on her face slowly overwritten by something more pensive. There's the slight feeling that this Hinata isn't any of the ones she's met, but another facet of who he can be. But she had loved each and every face he wore, and so she doesn't feel worried about that at all, and after several seconds of thought she offers her answer, ]

Mm, sure. You can always talk to me. [ There's no time at which she's too busy for him. ] Did something happen...?

[ It takes a little longer, but she does break eye contact to look around the classroom for a moment before taking a step to the side and looking back to him. The last few people are filing out, and so they can talk here if he'd like, or they can go somewhere else. ]

HELP I FELL ASLEEP TOO AND IT TOOK ME TWO HOURS TO WAKE UP ENOUGH TO WRITE THIS

[futurebullets]

[He's silent as he nods, swallows hard. He can't say it with all of the other students in here, but the last of them are heading out. If he bided his time thus far, he can hang on for a little longer. This is not to be shared with anyone's eyes or ears but theirs.

It's not long enough because it squeezes his throat with anxiety, and it's far too long because it makes his fingers curl with impatience. Eventually, however, the last student has left.

He opens his mouth.

He isn't sure what he's going to say.

I missed you so much. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. Please don't forgive me.

None of that is what comes out.

It's an aborted sound at first. Maybe it was supposed to be her name. His mind moves too fast for him to keep up, even worse because it's harder for him to process it now, but before he knows it he's crossing the distance between them and his arms are around her and his back hurts from the way he's bending to press against her shoulder but if he let's her go he'll die, he's certain he'll shatter apart irreparably, and not even Komaeda will be able to piece him back together again.

Hinata doesn't say the words he thought that he should.]

Thank you.

[Instead, he says the words he was always meant to.]

Thank you- Thank you- [Maybe it's between the second and third that he's choking on them.] Thank you, thank you- [Perhaps it's somewhere around the third or fourth that he starts sobbing.] Thank you thank you thank you thank you-

[He breaks apart on her shoulder in this body that can feel, that shouldn't feel, that feels too much because he has to be seventeen again with too much capacity in his brain. He does it now, while he still has a body that he doesn't have to fight with to cry - because he knows he would, he knows he still would, but if he woke up tomorrow and was twenty one all over it wouldn't feel the same.

It hurts so much he almost wishes he couldn't feel it, in the same breath that he's relieved that he can hurt at all as the Hinata Hajime that's still unruined.

I said it.

He says it now, hears himself crying and desperate through the spinning in his head, because he can't risk losing her or losing himself again and never being able to. Says it while he can feel her warm and alive, soft and small in his arms, in the hands that will one day become a little older and full of talent and never deserve to touch her ever again.

I finally said it.]

NOT US FALLING ASLEEP we're nanami now

[protect]

[ It all happens so fast.

One second she's watching him with a patient smile and listening to the sound of the door shutting behind the final student, and the next second his arms are around her and she can feel the warmth of his body, the trembling of his body as his emotions overtake him, the wet tears that drip onto her shoulders as repeated works of thanks reach her. It makes her heart ache and her throat feel tight and she finds herself frozen in place, fearful that the moment she so much as twitches she'll find this moment to have been nothing more than a dream she's waiting to wake up from.

Her hands move though, thin arms wrapping around him in turn to pull him just that little bit closer, to hang onto him tightly. It's painful to see him like this, it's painful to know that it's because of her, when she thinks a smile suits him so much better. It's painful because they had supported each other, because he had given her so much strength, but in the end she had to leave him. Her fingernails scrape against the fabric of his shirt as she takes in a breath, and she's glad it was him who had exposed her. It was too much for anyone, and she knows it had hurt, but it had to be him.

She rubs circles on his back. Hinata can cry as much as he needs to. His world was shattered over and over, and he'd had to hold up through all of that. More than anyone, he deserves to shed tears. That he's able to is proof that she had lived, that he had lived, that everything Chiaki Nanami had done meant something.

Her breath stops for a few seconds before she remembers how to do so, taking in a slow and steady breath as she searches for what she wants to say in return - what does she want to say to the Hinata of now, who she's certain remembers all the vibrant and sunny and gloomy and harrowing days that they'd shared on the island together? ]

I'm sorry, Hinata-kun. I couldn't be with you until the end.

[ Nanami made the right choice. She could never regret her own death when it meant the people she loved most would be kept safe, but if she did have one selfish regret, it would certainly be that she had wanted to be able to stay by his side until it was time for him and the others to go back to the world that they knew. ]

But I'm happy... I'm so happy, it feels like my heart is going to burst.

[ Happy to see him again - still himself, no matter how much he changes, happy to be able to support him again, happy to be remembered and cared for, and most of all, she's happy to hear those words from him. ]