( it's already late in the evening by the time maple comes to find ranger. he needed space, and she understood that. it was something easy to see, judging by the way he attached himself to his partner's side, and while maple is quite eager to meet him... she also understands that there are some things that you just shouldn't impose on. in any case, she thinks she's given time enough for the two of them to calm down and find comfort, and so now she stands in front of sun two and taps her knuckles lightly against the door.
she hasn't seen ranger leave since returning, so she imagines he should be inside still. )
[ Ranger cracks the door, peeking out from behind the slit to determine who it is and how to react. It's only Maple, and so rather than open it just to tell them off he opens it further. He stands in the gap, hand remaining on the handle, a cheerful expression card held in the other.
Did Midori send her? No, he would have come by himself if he needed something. Maple is sensitive, so he supposes it must be a follow up from that disaster of a meeting. ]
( she's clasping her hands lightly over her chest, something hopeful or anxious, but she'd anticipated he might be in a bad mood for visits. it's hard to say even now, but she allows herself only a moment of trying to measure it before she continues on. )
I was worried about you. Will you have some tea with me?
[ Ranger looks over his shoulder to the bed in the room before offering a mumbled "sure." He holds up his index finger before walking over, and he'll exchange a few brief words with his roommate before leaving the room and pulling the door shut behind him. As he's locking the door, he thinks that he should install an autolock. It would be ideal if he could secure a better lock period, really. He can't trust anyone here. If he's not careful, if he lets things stand, then it'll be one of them next. It won't just be telling someone to die.
Ranger can trust himself, and he can trust the dead bodies that he finds. There's no one else. It's because he forgot something so important that things turned out this way. ]
Are you okay with the common room? Most everyone should be asleep, and Moon 4 isn't a good place right now.
( roommate and all that; even maple understands that some conversations aren't meant to involve everybody. hiyori alone would be fine, but dito is another matter entirely. so it's better, she thinks, to have some privacy for these matters. while the common room isn't necessarily private, it does seem to be unoccupied at the moment. she'd checked earlier when she turned on the water. )
[ It's not. Ranger has made a point of avoiding Hiyori since the meeting. That man will only muddy the waters, and Ranger is already slogging his way through the shallow end of a swamp. The common room works well enough. As she said, most of them are asleep, and if they're not they'll have returned to their rooms by now. ]
Sure.
[ He starts walking down the hallway, assuming she'll follow. There's a light shake of the head. In retrospect, it would have been better for him to leave well enough alone before. As they're going along he adds, ]
I'd like to say those meetings aren't always such a disaster, but they're all more or less the same.
Are they? ( her lips purse in a frown as she follows his lead. ) Everyone was so troubled, too... So sad...
( it was only because everyone had such strong feelings— had seemed to want the best in their own way, that it had turned out the way it had, after all. not that such a thing excuses some of the actions that were taken, but to know that they're often like this... maple's gaze lowers, then lifts again as they enter the common room, illuminated only by the dim light of the crackling fireplace and a small table lamp that's been switched on nearby. )
You too, Ranger. That must have been difficult, right? It seemed like you understood a lot about the situation...
[ Difficult is perhaps more accurate than the word he would choose for himself. Vexing, insensible, a waste of time - there's dozens of other words he might use that shifted the attention away from his own feelings on the matter. But it's not wrong. ]
It's not really a conversation I wanted to have.
[ Because he'd known that they wouldn't get it, that they'd be too caught up in their own twisted desire for justice and a scapegoat to take their feelings out on. It's more than that, of course, because there's always more, but that's the reason he's willing to acknowledge here. He takes a seat around the table witha small sigh as he searches for the best way to explain it. ]
Well, he did it to save somebody that was important to him. Either way you're killing somebody, so it's just who you choose to let live.
[ It's no different than how they chose during the majority game, really. ]
It'd be the same for us. I wouldn't blink before killing someone.
[ Us being those of ASUNARO. If it were between Maple or Hiyori and a person he had no attachment to, it wouldn't even be a question, and he knows it's the same for the two of them as well. Whatever their reason, ASUNARO would protect its own before others. ]
( maple nods as she takes her seat across from him, patiently allowing him the room to share his explanation on the matter, so that she might get a glimpse into his feelings. she agrees, of course, at the question. it isn't as if she enjoys violence, so it isn't as if she seeks it out, but... )
There are some times where you don't have any other choice, right?
( she can't say that she understands why sara had been so angry, then. so self-righteous, and shin was just as bad, but it was no different than the choices the two of them had made time and time again through their votes. of course it's sad to lose somebody you know, but if it's between someone you know and somebody who's very precious to you, it isn't as if it's something so difficult to understand—choosing to protect the person you care about. )
You understand their feelings, Ranger... So kind...
( ASUNARO is filled with kind people, isn't it? not like those others, who only care about themselves. )
I'm glad that you came, Ranger, even if the others don't understand. I'm sure that person would have appreciated it—the way you stood up for them, even if Sara and Shin don't get it. You must have cared about them a lot, right?
[ ASUNARO is full of people who could show kindness if only their circumstances were different. Even now, he has no small amount of affection for those people who created and nurtured him. Perhaps the same could be said of others, but emotional matters don't come naturally to him, and admitting to them is the same as pinning a target to himself for others to aim at. It's admitting to being defective, and that thought settles itself comfortably in his mind. ]
He was a reliable person, so I didn't mind having him around. He was sorta stupid, but it's not like these losers were doing anything to save their own.
[ Which is, at the core, the source of his frustration. If they'd done more, they could have stopped this. If anyone had acted, perhaps it wouldn't have come to this. But it had, and now there's upset because it doesn't fit their vision, because he was a convenient target for those pent up feelings.
What separates Ranger form the rest of them? It's the fact that he chose not to stop him, and so he feels no need to lament the outcome.
Still, maybe there is one thing that bothers him. ]
You know, when I was speaking with one of the others earlier, there was something he said to me...
( maple pauses for a moment, recollecting the words from her memory. it's not an impression, but it is a perfect recitation of what she feels is most important: )
"If killing wasn't avoidable, I'd rather do it myself than have someone else do it. That way, they wouldn't have to be burdened, because I could take it for them."
( she remembers it vividly, the sadness in noah's voice, the loneliness in his expression. he had been one of the ones to become angry, to say that ranger's friend had become a bad person for doing what he did, but in the end, it wasn't as if he blamed them for it. rather, it was frustration that the friend they shared had made those choices alone.
complicated... it's so complicated.
but while shin and sara may be difficult for her to understand—and they are truly heartless with the way they throw their words around—it isn't as if they speak for everybody. no matter how hurtful their words were, how careless and inconsiderate, the fact remains that maple doesn't want them to define the memory that's left behind. ranger isn't alone in his feelings, after all. )
I wonder if some of the others might only need time to understand him, because they're sad that he chose to leave them.
.... That's what Nagito said too. He said if we give it time, then the rest will understand. They're a pretty dumb bunch, but I guess if even a few of them can think it through, then that would be enough for me.
[ It would be impossible to make everyone understand the lengths he had gone through, how difficult it was, how much he struggled. It's not something that Ranger can understand. He doesn't have that kind of self-sacrificing nature. But he can at least understand a person who's willing to do anything to achieve their goals regardless of the cost.
The words resonate with him. They offer a small comfort, the budding hope that there those who will be able to come around the way that he wants them to. Ranger wouldn't have minded taking that burden on himself. Maybe that would have made it easier for both of them, or maybe he would have just felt frustrated with that choice. ]
I guess I could forgive them for being upset, even if they were wrong. But y'know, they should be able to get it. Instead they're acting like idiots and fighting with each other, picking arguments with me, and going after anyone who disagrees. Who the Hell do think they are to judge?
[ Especially when they're going after the ones who are important to him. ]
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03/05 – ranger
she hasn't seen ranger leave since returning, so she imagines he should be inside still. )
no subject
Did Midori send her? No, he would have come by himself if he needed something. Maple is sensitive, so he supposes it must be a follow up from that disaster of a meeting. ]
... Maple. Did you need something?
no subject
( she's clasping her hands lightly over her chest, something hopeful or anxious, but she'd anticipated he might be in a bad mood for visits. it's hard to say even now, but she allows herself only a moment of trying to measure it before she continues on. )
I was worried about you. Will you have some tea with me?
no subject
Ranger can trust himself, and he can trust the dead bodies that he finds. There's no one else. It's because he forgot something so important that things turned out this way. ]
'Kay, I'm set. Where do you wanna go?
no subject
( roommate and all that; even maple understands that some conversations aren't meant to involve everybody. hiyori alone would be fine, but dito is another matter entirely. so it's better, she thinks, to have some privacy for these matters. while the common room isn't necessarily private, it does seem to be unoccupied at the moment. she'd checked earlier when she turned on the water. )
no subject
Sure.
[ He starts walking down the hallway, assuming she'll follow. There's a light shake of the head. In retrospect, it would have been better for him to leave well enough alone before. As they're going along he adds, ]
I'd like to say those meetings aren't always such a disaster, but they're all more or less the same.
no subject
( it was only because everyone had such strong feelings— had seemed to want the best in their own way, that it had turned out the way it had, after all. not that such a thing excuses some of the actions that were taken, but to know that they're often like this... maple's gaze lowers, then lifts again as they enter the common room, illuminated only by the dim light of the crackling fireplace and a small table lamp that's been switched on nearby. )
You too, Ranger. That must have been difficult, right? It seemed like you understood a lot about the situation...
no subject
It's not really a conversation I wanted to have.
[ Because he'd known that they wouldn't get it, that they'd be too caught up in their own twisted desire for justice and a scapegoat to take their feelings out on. It's more than that, of course, because there's always more, but that's the reason he's willing to acknowledge here. He takes a seat around the table witha small sigh as he searches for the best way to explain it. ]
Well, he did it to save somebody that was important to him. Either way you're killing somebody, so it's just who you choose to let live.
[ It's no different than how they chose during the majority game, really. ]
It'd be the same for us. I wouldn't blink before killing someone.
[ Us being those of ASUNARO. If it were between Maple or Hiyori and a person he had no attachment to, it wouldn't even be a question, and he knows it's the same for the two of them as well. Whatever their reason, ASUNARO would protect its own before others. ]
no subject
There are some times where you don't have any other choice, right?
( she can't say that she understands why sara had been so angry, then. so self-righteous, and shin was just as bad, but it was no different than the choices the two of them had made time and time again through their votes. of course it's sad to lose somebody you know, but if it's between someone you know and somebody who's very precious to you, it isn't as if it's something so difficult to understand—choosing to protect the person you care about. )
You understand their feelings, Ranger... So kind...
( ASUNARO is filled with kind people, isn't it? not like those others, who only care about themselves. )
I'm glad that you came, Ranger, even if the others don't understand. I'm sure that person would have appreciated it—the way you stood up for them, even if Sara and Shin don't get it. You must have cared about them a lot, right?
no subject
He was a reliable person, so I didn't mind having him around. He was sorta stupid, but it's not like these losers were doing anything to save their own.
[ Which is, at the core, the source of his frustration. If they'd done more, they could have stopped this. If anyone had acted, perhaps it wouldn't have come to this. But it had, and now there's upset because it doesn't fit their vision, because he was a convenient target for those pent up feelings.
What separates Ranger form the rest of them? It's the fact that he chose not to stop him, and so he feels no need to lament the outcome.
Still, maybe there is one thing that bothers him. ]
... I don't really get people like that.
no subject
( maple pauses for a moment, recollecting the words from her memory. it's not an impression, but it is a perfect recitation of what she feels is most important: )
"If killing wasn't avoidable, I'd rather do it myself than have someone else do it. That way, they wouldn't have to be burdened, because I could take it for them."
( she remembers it vividly, the sadness in noah's voice, the loneliness in his expression. he had been one of the ones to become angry, to say that ranger's friend had become a bad person for doing what he did, but in the end, it wasn't as if he blamed them for it. rather, it was frustration that the friend they shared had made those choices alone.
complicated... it's so complicated.
but while shin and sara may be difficult for her to understand—and they are truly heartless with the way they throw their words around—it isn't as if they speak for everybody. no matter how hurtful their words were, how careless and inconsiderate, the fact remains that maple doesn't want them to define the memory that's left behind. ranger isn't alone in his feelings, after all. )
I wonder if some of the others might only need time to understand him, because they're sad that he chose to leave them.
no subject
[ It would be impossible to make everyone understand the lengths he had gone through, how difficult it was, how much he struggled. It's not something that Ranger can understand. He doesn't have that kind of self-sacrificing nature. But he can at least understand a person who's willing to do anything to achieve their goals regardless of the cost.
The words resonate with him. They offer a small comfort, the budding hope that there those who will be able to come around the way that he wants them to. Ranger wouldn't have minded taking that burden on himself. Maybe that would have made it easier for both of them, or maybe he would have just felt frustrated with that choice. ]
I guess I could forgive them for being upset, even if they were wrong. But y'know, they should be able to get it. Instead they're acting like idiots and fighting with each other, picking arguments with me, and going after anyone who disagrees. Who the Hell do think they are to judge?
[ Especially when they're going after the ones who are important to him. ]