( evidence brought forth, connections made, and the conclusion is that dito, add and komaeda had all did something fairly stupid. stupid enough that lives were lost, idiotic enough one is pushed into coma, and simple enough that even dito found his way to enjoy the aftermath.
no one can apologize for their mistakes, and the world must feel... emptier.
that's until noah hears tapping of shoes coming behind him, and the jingle of a chain in his direction, and before he can even look to see... a voice comes first. )
Ebalon-kun! ( it comes out happily with a hand raised, arm shifting from side to side to greet the individual. ) I've been looking for you everywhere!
( how can that be when he's bedridden? or maybe that's the part which is a figment of noah's imagination because the mirrors have been odd this time of month, and komaeda has never gotten his way when it comes to dying or even close. is it really komaeda if he's down for the count...? )
[Noah does not currently know that he's tripping absolute balls right now; sure, there's a disconnect between "walked into Komaeda's room to go check on him" and "however the fuck he got into the main school building", but that's all fine, isn't it? His memory hasn't been hazy in a while, but it happens...
He's too unaware to care right now. As far as he knows, none of this is because of a lack of eating and making stupid choices; it's all very, very real.
Spinning on his heel, Noah almost doesn't believe his eyes or his ears for a minute — wasn't Komaeda just bedridden some nebulous amount of time earlier? Does it matter? He's up and walking around now, talking, feeling better presumably—
( unlike ranger where there's a discrepancy in his code, he's not as human as noah is, and so the mind is a frightening concept that can turn against a person. much like hardware starting to malfunction, because the moment his brain decides it then the heart can stop pumping, his body can stop moving; that organ is in control of so much. that's why the world can feel real, but false all at the same time, and the body he wraps around isn't there, but the mind is such a powerful piece of the body and can fill in the gaps. the coolness of komaeda's body, the hand which lifts to pat at mauve locks that slip between white, thin fingers until he's released. )
I've always been alright...
( there's no way he's caught in his bedroom locked away from everyone, there's no way ranger might be trying to kill him every time someone isn't looking — no one knows that, not even komaeda, and so the days are spent blissfully unaware. that makes the world so much warmer, so much nicer to live in where no one is killing, and no one is being killed, and they're all happy because there are no problems presented. )
What's the worst that could happen to me! Nothing!
( there's a smile on his face, gentle and kind. familiar enough that noah knows he's not lying, but why would a hallucination need to lie? )
What about you, have you thought about you lately?
( that's the body reminding itself to take care. )
[There's a disconnect there, but Noah can't exactly pin it, not with the way his mind is working at the current moment. Komaeda's always been fine? ...yeah, he's always been fine. Of course; his luck wouldn't let him die so easily, and Noah knows that, despite lofty promises that he'd never let Komaeda die so long as Noah himself is standing.]
Mm... [That's Noah for "no, but I don't want to say anything", he knows he doesn't take care of himself.] I ate breakfast this morning.
[A step in the right direction, possibly. But he feels like he didn't eat when he says that all of a sudden, like maybe he's running on autopilot or he's forgotten something important. Chalking it up to his usual memory issues — he always eats breakfast after all, no way he'd skip it in his depression, ha — he shrugs and releases Komaeda from the hug. Be free.]
But — you said you were looking for me, right? What for? [Quick change the subject.]
I wanted to ask you a few questions that's been on my mind.
( as soon as he releases, komaeda's body relaxes while standing before noah, and a hand rests on his waist with a soft smile on his face. the other hand lifts to cup his own chin in thought, humming for a moment before nodding to himself as his hands drop down by his side. it must be weird to look all over the school for someone when he could have waited by his door at the dorms, but he decided to go this far. )
What do you think of the student store? We have all sorts of stuff... but the totems have high risk with high reward.
( why the totems, who knows, maybe it's another gentle reminder as komaeda speaks about them. the more unnatural side of yogen that can cause random outcomes depending on which was in bought. )
If I bought one... then I could have avoided what happened, huh?
The student store? Well... I used to get suncatchers from there a bunch, but I haven't been going recently after Keigo... yeah. I haven't really wanted to get a totem personally, since it seems too reckless.
[Clamor would have his head. He considered, at one point, getting one of them — but for all Noah's impulsiveness, that seems a bit too much. He knows that Childe picked one up and that his hands are going numb, and the thought that Childe might die because of it... well, it messes with him sometimes.]
If you bought a totem... [He echoes, trailing off, and then:] I don't know if that would've helped. You're alive and fine, and the consequences are too much, aren't they? It's...
...
It's too risky. The things that could happen to you because of those things can't be circumvented by your luck.
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04/16 — noah
no one can apologize for their mistakes, and the world must feel... emptier.
that's until noah hears tapping of shoes coming behind him, and the jingle of a chain in his direction, and before he can even look to see... a voice comes first. )
Ebalon-kun! ( it comes out happily with a hand raised, arm shifting from side to side to greet the individual. ) I've been looking for you everywhere!
( how can that be when he's bedridden? or maybe that's the part which is a figment of noah's imagination because the mirrors have been odd this time of month, and komaeda has never gotten his way when it comes to dying or even close. is it really komaeda if he's down for the count...? )
no subject
He's too unaware to care right now. As far as he knows, none of this is because of a lack of eating and making stupid choices; it's all very, very real.
Spinning on his heel, Noah almost doesn't believe his eyes or his ears for a minute — wasn't Komaeda just bedridden some nebulous amount of time earlier? Does it matter? He's up and walking around now, talking, feeling better presumably—
Noah sprints forward and wraps Komaeda in a hug.]
Hyung! You're alright!
no subject
I've always been alright...
( there's no way he's caught in his bedroom locked away from everyone, there's no way ranger might be trying to kill him every time someone isn't looking — no one knows that, not even komaeda, and so the days are spent blissfully unaware. that makes the world so much warmer, so much nicer to live in where no one is killing, and no one is being killed, and they're all happy because there are no problems presented. )
What's the worst that could happen to me! Nothing!
( there's a smile on his face, gentle and kind. familiar enough that noah knows he's not lying, but why would a hallucination need to lie? )
What about you, have you thought about you lately?
( that's the body reminding itself to take care. )
no subject
Mm... [That's Noah for "no, but I don't want to say anything", he knows he doesn't take care of himself.] I ate breakfast this morning.
[A step in the right direction, possibly. But he feels like he didn't eat when he says that all of a sudden, like maybe he's running on autopilot or he's forgotten something important. Chalking it up to his usual memory issues — he always eats breakfast after all, no way he'd skip it in his depression, ha — he shrugs and releases Komaeda from the hug. Be free.]
But — you said you were looking for me, right? What for? [Quick change the subject.]
no subject
( as soon as he releases, komaeda's body relaxes while standing before noah, and a hand rests on his waist with a soft smile on his face. the other hand lifts to cup his own chin in thought, humming for a moment before nodding to himself as his hands drop down by his side. it must be weird to look all over the school for someone when he could have waited by his door at the dorms, but he decided to go this far. )
What do you think of the student store? We have all sorts of stuff... but the totems have high risk with high reward.
( why the totems, who knows, maybe it's another gentle reminder as komaeda speaks about them. the more unnatural side of yogen that can cause random outcomes depending on which was in bought. )
If I bought one... then I could have avoided what happened, huh?
( this is said with a smile. )
no subject
[Clamor would have his head. He considered, at one point, getting one of them — but for all Noah's impulsiveness, that seems a bit too much. He knows that Childe picked one up and that his hands are going numb, and the thought that Childe might die because of it... well, it messes with him sometimes.]
If you bought a totem... [He echoes, trailing off, and then:] I don't know if that would've helped. You're alive and fine, and the consequences are too much, aren't they? It's...
...
It's too risky. The things that could happen to you because of those things can't be circumvented by your luck.