yogen | ten reconnections ➱ un: h. inaba

...

[Give her a moment, she's trying very hard to actually compute this as a whole before she squeaks out in surprise.]

Excuse me? What do you mean by that?! Are you saying you trust someone like me not to spill student council secrets? I mean, a bunch of people probably already looked at a lot of the stuff because of the student council murders but still...! Isn't that crazy?!

[ oh god.

Sorry. Shirogane might be laughing just a little bit. ]

It was a joke, Inaba.

[ Linger on that for a second... ]

But, to answer your question, of course I do.

... Oh, it's just a joke.

[Her tired, addled mind doesn't process things as quickly, and while she's relieved that being with another person doesn't make it worse, it doesn't necessarily make it better. And when Inaba's exhausted, she automatically defaults to being defensive.]

[--but then the second half of that clicks and her face turns scarlet to the point where she has to jerk her head away from him.

What the hell?

He can't just say that!!]

T-That has to be another joke, right? Like-- 'haha, you're on some prank sitcom' or something like that. I mean. There's no real reason to genuinely trust me in such a way!

It's not--

[ He knows what he's getting into if he starts talking about this, so he starts fishing around in his pockets for the key. Still, her reaction's kinda surprising. It could mostly be down to her current drowsy state, but it's still something rare.

Hm. ]

I'll ask this. Is there a real reason I shouldn't?

...

[For a good length of time she doesn't say anything. Maybe it's because she's trying to catch herself, trying to shake the exhaustion off her mind.]

Why trust someone who doesn't trust anyone else?

[She answers his question with another one of her own.]

[ It actually is a valid question. Why indeed. He mulls over the question as he glances down at the key in his hand. ]

Someone like that isn't necessarily untrustworthy themselves. Of course, there are probably bad guys out there who don't trust because they're quick to betray whoever they come across. On the other hand, some are just afraid of being betrayed themselves.

[ Opening up to anyone, that's terrifying enough. But doing that just for them to let you down, it's downright awful. ]

Either way-- whether or not you trust me is irrelevant. I'm willing to take this chance so that you don't overdo it again. You're no use to yourself if you can't even think straight.

S'not my fault.

[She tiredly complains with a deep frown, laughing with shaking shoulders. But he's right about one thing.

Being afraid of being betrayed...

...that's something that she's dealt with practically all her life.]

I wish things were different.

[Those words are spoken a lot more weakly than she'd like to admit.]

I'm not sure how much more different things can get.

[ Not on the same wavelength, but this entire experience has been different enough from what he's dealt with in the past.

There are some he's less inclined to trust, for sure. But they typically go out of their way to be a bother.

An obtuse message, and hesitance towards accepting someone's kindness... doesn't seem untrustworthy to Miyuki.

It's something he's used to. ]

Anyway, I'll walk you to the room. I'd feel better if I knew you made it alright.

There's a lot.

[...]

This... reminds me of something that happened a long time ago.

[She says that aloud, fingers fumbling with the magatama on her necklace.]

Does it? What happened?

[ The magatama... something that relates to the club she was in? ]

It's a pretty strange story.

[...]

During my first year, I had problems sleeping because of a certain asshole messing with us. I couldn't exactly hide my condition, but it got worse when Taichi found out due to a... [swap], I guess you could call it. We ended up going back to the clubroom, to have my physical body rest instead, since it was better than going to the nurse's office in the midst of the swap.

[Heartseed. He should've expected that to come up. Just being an accessory to it felt exhausting.

A "swap", though... ]

As in, you two had swapped bodies? Of all things--

[ He has no idea of the timeline, so all he can think is how weird it'd be to swap bodies with your significant other, especially if you're exhausted.

...actually. He doesn't want to imagine what Shinomiya would feel in his body. ]

He didn't do anything weird, did he? Hopefully he just let your body rest instead of putting more stress on it.

[ ...he's thinking innocently, seriously! ]

He didn't! I mean, I went with him to make sure he didn't, so you don't have to worry there. Even when we weren't dating yet, he was always considerate of me. That's how much of a selfless asshole he was- no, is, though.

[ Ouch, that's a hell of a description to give your boyfriend. The act of going with him mostly proves her point... although, if that was before they were dating, then. ]

That's interesting, then. Most relationships are built on a foundation of trust, aren't they? Granted, he's not here, but that indicates to me that Himeko Inaba is someone that can open herself up to someone else.

...To the point that, you're willing to even tell me that much about what you've been through without me having to witness it first hand.

[ Sentiment Transmission. Becoming younger. Now this-- that's a hell of a lot to put onto a group of, at the time, kids. Miyuki rubs at the back of his neck, thinking back to the long sordid event that he went through, and the direction he was given at the end. ]

If I'm wrong, then tell me directly. However, I can say that personally, I'd feel a bit offended if my girlfriend didn't trust me even a slight amount.

[ ... ]

...I imagine so, anyway.

Of course I'm able to. I just deliberately choose not to, most of the time. If I were crueler, I probably would have killed you by now.

[But she's not, so there's a unstated point she's making there.

Then, she smiles, but the look in her eyes is something past her drained energy--it's nostalgic, and full of melancholy.]

But for now, I'll just blame my babbling on the exhaustion. I can say this, though. I do trust Taichi, and all of the CRC. But I'll never see them again, so it's a moot point.

--Luckily, mainly for me I take it, I don't plan to tell anyone else about what you've gone through.

[ Mostly because it's nobody else's business... even really his. He can kinda figure that on his own. ]

In that case, I won't push the issue much further. Just, one thing I'm wondering.

[ ...Truthfully, he doesn't know how this may be taken, but it's something that's been weighing on him for a while, now. ]

Those feelings of trust and love, do you think it's okay to hold onto those as it pertains to people you may never see again? I'm in the same boat; I trust my student council, and I trust Shinomiya to take care of everything in my absence.

At what point are we supposed to... [ Ugh. ] Move on?

[Oh boy.

This question. It's something that she's thought about for a very long time and just hearing it makes her sigh. But it isn't that she's going to avoid the question.]

I don't know. I went to the -- the stupid speed dating thing because maybe if I found someone else, I'd at least be able to find peace with the fact that I wouldn't see them again. And I've spoken to others, too. About similar things. And... of course, they don't understand. Because they don't know. About the shit I've gone through.

About how 'graduation' is probably 'moving on'. But. Then there's reincarnation, yeah?

Let me give a bit of a complicated example.

Let's say that my [soul] ends up becoming [Inaba Himeko] at a point veering off from my current memories. I'll call myself [A] and refer to the reincarnated Inaba as [B].

The world [A] finds herself in when she is [B] is the same. The only minor difference being that she didn't die at the point her memories stop. Then the question goes to this: what happened to [B]? At that point, aren't you just stealing the life of another person, even if that life is similar to yours? That sort of thing... I can't accept. To be honest, any sort of reincarnation, I can't-- it's--

Can you even consider yourself human at that point?

[...]

Sorry. I've been thinking about this sort of thing for a while, so I have a lot of thoughts on it. Most of them aren't necessarily good. It's why I've been thinking about permanently staying at the school. And it's also why I've been thinking on and off about properly joining the student council, too.

[ ...That's quite a question. It's something he's had to consider, as if his life split at some point. The Miyuki Shirogane that existed before may still be there, but the Shirogane here has nothing to do with that person anymor--

... ]

Hm. Wait a second.

[ . . . . . . ]

You absolutely should join!

[ SIDETRACKED BY A POTENTIAL RECRUIT??? ]

We could use someone as smart as you on-board with us!

That's what you hone in on?!

[Oh my god.]

I'm... I don't know, I don't feel like I'd suit something like the student council...

No need to worry about that! Suitability's hardly a concern, you already have experience with the inner workings of the school and both Ishimaru and I can vouch for you.

[ THIS TOPIC IS INFINITELY LESS DEPRESSING HE'S GOING TO CLING TO IT ]

It's got some responsibility attached, but there are quite a few perks!

... I don't know if the words "suitability is hardly a concern" is something that I really should be hearing about the student council.

[One can practically hear the dripping sarcasm that comes off each syllable she speaks.]

Or the fact that you say 'some responsibility' as if I'm not responsible. I know how student councils work--generally speaking. [She's dealt with her own student council president in the past and while she's not fond of him, she knows how the inner cogs work.] And on the outside, I'd basically have the requirements to be the treasurer, and I also was the vice president in the CRC--

Wait, why am I even saying all this, I'm supposed to be convincing that it'd probably be better not to join! Even though it'se tempting, and I'd have a place to lock myself in for safety, not to mention I could probably learn some information about that if I join, maybe...

[...]

What are the perks, anyway? Besides being able to go in and out of the student council room. And all that other stuff that was spoken about regarding the presidency. I'm not interested in being president though, so that's a non-issue.

It's not a concern because we already know you're suitable. You just said it there-- you're responsible enough and have the credentials. In terms of perks, you do have a level of authority over the other students, if you care about that kind of thing. Access to information about the school itself's always a bonus too.

I think you'd--

[ He pauses, before coming to a stop. He mulls it over a bit... it's not his decision, but a question springs to mind, one that was asked of him before. ]

...actually, I do have to ask. When it comes down to it, would you be willing to put yourself at risk like that? Joining the student council means that you'd be putting a target on your back. If someone wants your position, or you get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time-- [ Like him. ] --would you be okay with defending yourself?

...?

[Wait, now she wants to know what he wanted to say before stopping midsentence! That's not fair.

She pauses for a moment before shutting her eyes, thoughtful.]

It wouldn't be the first time I've put myself at risk. I know some basic self defense thanks to Yui and a normal guy's prime weakness. And hell if I'm going to let someone try to throw me under the bus.

ten reconnections ➱ un: h. inaba

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