yogen | open //

open //

Who: Keigo, et al.
What: gestures broadly
When: end of may
Where: gestures broadly again
Warnings: none yet

[ Keigo opens their eyes to find themselves standing in the mirror room, staring at their own tired reflection a large mirror — with a pounding headache and the last vestiges of vertigo before the world rights itself again. Thinking back, the last thing they remember is being warm and comfortable under the covers on a cool winter night, the taste of hot chocolate still on their lips, the sound of a movie still playing in the background growing more distant and the lights dimming as their consciousness fades. Their joints are stiff and their mouth dry, their wrist sore from the extra tally mark now etched into it.

...

They spend a long time in that mirror room, sinking down onto the floor at rubbing at their wrist as they stare at the mirrors around them, gaze lingering on dense forest and wooden floorboards, flicking this way and that around halls of the school as if trying to find something— someone. It still feels like winter with how cold it is despite long sleeves and pants, breath fogging the glass even with them sitting an arm's length away, red ribbon loosened then removed from around their neck to replace the empty space around their left ankle.

Muddled memories aside, they're certain they've never been down here before, neither the mirror room nor any of these other rooms in the basement once they finally tear themselves away from the mirrors, letting out a terrified scream when something grabs at them when they try to leave and possibly shattering a mirror or four in the process of getting away, but if they don't turn around and look to confirm then it didn't happen and they don't get bad luck, they decided this rule just now.

Not even going to look inside the bloody summoning room, why is there a summoning room.

The hidden entrances and exits are still hidden to them, but hallways only have two ends: one looks like a shaft they're certain they don't have the upper body strength to climb up more than several meters without handholds, and the other leads out to the forest where they're going to walk out into and get hopelessly lost and eventually make their way back to campus maybe if they're lucky.

Then they'll be around wherever and whenever convenient. ]

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[ The shout makes them startle— everything seems to, recently— even as the thought crosses their mind that they should just keep walking and not turn around because that's how they get you, they know this tactic, how do they... It's too late now, though, with their stuttering steps making it impossible to feign unawareness, turning around with something of a steely resolve. ]

Sorry, I'm broke— [ n

...a little bit of that math lady meme here, simmered in indigestion.

...

... ]

How have sales been? [ one thing at a time ]

( it hasn't been that long and so the memories have yet to fade of hugs and worries, and strong desire to sacrifice in order to keep their brother well, nor the fear they held after possession. the little stories of butterflies, and the make belief concept that there's powers behind rocks, and even the moments where they would fake sleep so that they wouldn't be questioned of their old shames. it's a mixed bag of scenarios where some are good, and others bad, but how could he forget those safe, comedic moments of the other afraid of the dark and hitting komaeda with his own arm, or going to the pool where play sand imitated real sand, and the pool water their ocean. lots of little things that add up to become memorable, and then those memories become something komaeda realizes he'll have the misfortune of forgetting, and the corner of his mouth twitches as he manages to pull a smile. )

Ahaha.

( asking if the other will take the body of another student to survive, the understanding of what would happen the moment komaeda took those fish and set them on the floor of sun four. the argument between half the transfers here, how they believed in none of amami's efforts, listened to nothing komaeda said when hope would come from it, and they would return for a good cause (alice listened, he seemed to understand more than others). to see the other here means he was right, and komaeda has always been right, but the school uniform, the insistence that they're broke and won't come to the shop.

...

he clears his throat, biting back a cough as he looks inside of the shop. )

They've been fine, a few changes here and there... but that's the standard, people want new things, and you have to cater to the public!

( isn't that how it goes? the customer is always right? ah, even komaeda can't keep eye contact... is it too much? should he bite his tongue and return to his post? has he done well enough to let the other inside to see what him and shin have worked on all this time in their absence. amami recalled nothing upon his return, but the subtle switch in words to how have things been... maybe there's something.

do they remember? ) ...Is there anything that you'd like?

( he's a businessman at the moment, but his words a touch fond as if the other could make any request, and komaeda would see to it. )

[ There are a lot of things they'd like, none of which can be found in a little student store tucked away in a corner of the school. "Happiness," what they'd always advertised, they wonder if there's anything like that here as they slow turn to follow Komaeda into the store, making no promises as their gaze first flicks up to that corner by the window, rising a little on their tippy toes to see behind the counter, giving that back door a curious look. It's a distinctly unsettling feeling, of coming home after vacation to find that you've been evicted and another family's moved into your house and you're just that one emoji of a guy ]

I want...

[ They shift their weight from one foot to the other, moves around in front of Komaeda and tilts their head to force him to look at them. ]

To know what happened.

( komaeda has never cared about happiness, but everyone knows that hope can become just that if a person strives for it. as long as they have something, that positive feeling is just one rock's throw away because it sits in the palm of their hand, and it takes just one swing of their arm. komaeda doesn't need money to spread hope, what he uses is his charm and enthusiasm to sell it when offering the items. let people know how well they work with others, the gifts that can be handed to a special someone... the possibilities are endless.

infinity if they make it so.

with eyes that look at him, komaeda can't help but let his own dull gaze be caught by them. when rokkun became purer, more of an amnesiac, he might have had eyes like this. komaeda cant remember, but it was innocent, curious, so it must run in the family. )

Happened to what...? Hm, you have to be more direct.

( he lifts one hand, thinking to pinch their cheeks, but he goes with his better judgement to avoid forcing any familiarity. by the sound of it, and how the other normally is, they'll just ask straight out. it's what komaeda's hoping for anyway. )

What you want to know... what of it do you remember? I'll piece it together.

[ Happened to what? Everything. Them.

Selfishly, it's always about them. Them with the slight flinch when Komaeda's hand comes up, the way they tear their gaze away when asked what they remember, the tiniest of frowns on their face because what they remember can barely be called pieces. ]

Everything... I want to know everything. I've been here before— I know I have. I've dreampt about it. Happy dreams, nightmares too, I don't remember everything, but it feels like coming home.

Welcome back, Kogamo-kun...

( the hesitation at the end isn't for komaeda to catch his breath, rather should he say "arata-kun" for maximum politeness? it sits on the tip of his tongue, teetering back and forth, but he goes with what he knows.

besides, the flinch tells him enough, and that's why he keeps his arms down by his side. )

"Hello! Hi! Welcome! Come in!" Said the shopkeeper, "Please buy lots and lots! But if you're poor, go away and don't waste my time." Those are the first words that I heard from you! We met August 1999, it's 2000 now...

( to ask komaeda to recall everything when he has sever memory issues, and so he can only try and form a coherent timeline that makes sense, a selfish request because the other wants to learn about themselves. )

You used to be cruel, you wanted to remain different from us... but you were lonely. So lonely that you didn't have to ask people to notice you, each and every person came to you instead! ...Trash like me was one of them! That's why I can stand here, but have difficulties not giving you a hug... did you know? Did you know...? You loved those so much. Ah! I lost my way on memory lane...

( he crosses his arms as he rests them on the counter, looking at the other with a small smile. the relationships the other has formed worked out in their favor getting them to where they are now, it's because of hope and love, he knows it is! )

[ The name is like a stake through their heart, but not as much as the recounting of their words— and they're theirs, even if they don't remember, because they can imagine themselves saying it, the reason and purpose behind the words, the cruelty and loneliness making them want to hide their face because WOW what an impression to leave behind... So the them that was here was mean and pathetic— pitiable, is what they're hearing, and it's mortifying. ]

I was like that...? But...

[ Ugh... they really do want a hug right now, but asking for one would feel like losing. ]

Do you still pity me?

I pitied you at the start, I felt bad for you.

( that's what his feelings were at tbe beginning, but among many things and many people— their lives change just as the world turns. )

I started to see you differently, the dichotomy between how I felt about you at first, and how I felt about you towards the end was very big. It's why I knew you'd come back... It took awhile, and even if I seemed like a liar to some...

( with a shrug, he stares at the other. ) You're warm and kind, a bit of a crybaby, but you did your best to see happiness... you wanted people to be happy, and you were happy because we made you happy. You have a childlike innocence, and you used that cute face of yours to get your way!

( because they were so darn cute how could they not use their looks to obtain whatever they wanted from hugs or little meals, it was partially manipulation for idiots, but komaeda had never cared about that. instead, it was the hope inside of them that made komaeda stay, the motivation and drive of keigo pushing their limits to work along with everyone else.

they helped most people here have a purpose. )

But now... Do I pity you? No, I love you.

( like a father would their child, just like before, and there's no pity in those words. it's genuine, honest, because komaeda isn't one to tell lies, and he never got to tell the other that during their last interaction. )

[ Strange, how those few simple words squeezes at their heart and makes them want to cry— it should be the opposite, shouldn't it? They should be smiling, laughing, why does relief make it so hard to breathe? ]

...I love you too.

[ Can they have a hug? they're not even going to ask, they'll vault over the counter if that's what it takes to force Komaeda into a hug ]

I want to— no, I'm going to, make you as happy as you made me. So you won't ever ever doubt it, even if you forget.

[ So that even if they don't remember the words, they still remember the feelings- warm in their heart, heavy on their head, pain on their cheeks when pinched but nothing compared to when they smile so wide for so long it makes their whole face hurt. ]

Ah, Kogamo-kun you—-

( vaulting over the counter means komaeda will reach out to grab them despite knowing he shouldn't. keigo isn't even heavy, it's just that komaeda's too weak, so his body leans forward as he wraps his arms around the youth's waist in a hug as the other holds onto him. it's a hug on one side, but a hold to make sure they don't hurt themselves, but its a familiar action that komaeda remembers by muscle memory even if his thoughts no longer withholds all the moments that they did.

it's a tight hug though, but gentle regardless as he tries to place keigo back onto the tips of their toes. )

...My doubts? You don't have to worry about that, you eased my worries when you came back...

( it took awhile, it took such a long time, and there's this small smile that pulls at the corner of komaeda's lips. )

Is it your feelings that you remember?

[ It's a miracle they came back— actually, it's a miracle any of this happened in the first place, especially for them who was able to grow up without the amount of loneliness they would have otherwise had without the people and places in their dreams. Every day, wishing those dreams to be a reality, knowing that it's silly because all they really remember are the feelings. How comfortably they fit in Komaeda's arms, as if they belonged there. ]

Mmhm. I remember that we talked a lot, but I don't know about what. I was sad most of the time, I think... but comforted, too. You made it feel like things were going to be okay, that I would be okay. Those sorts of feelings.

[ Vague at best. But feelings always are, when you try to describe them. ]

( were they always sad talking to him, he would guess so, komaeda's not always a positive person until someone else's mood plummets in his radius. )

The topics? The motives? ...We talked about a lot, and I might not be able to fill it all in!

( his thoughts are always fleeting, the past has never stuck, but there are some instances that he does remember. pieces that cause people to frown wondering why komaeda couldn't forget that instead. )

I can tell you things will be okay now... Most of the worry is gone. You came back, and I believe... that's the only worry I had the entire time.

( and because that worry is gone that means nothing else matters or should garner the other's fear. sadly, it's easy to terrify them, and he wonders if there's anything leftover that would cause them panic. it can't be seen on komaeda's face, but he is a bit concerned. )

[ "most" of the worry... ]

You... were worried I wouldn't come back? You know what that means, right? I had to die to get here...

[ Please do not wish for their death, Komaeda? they didn't want to die anymore, they got better, that was the parting gift Subaru gave them to save their life ]

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