eleven reconnections ➱ open june catch-all;

[dereban]

Who: Himeko Inaba and YOU.
What: Catch-all log for June; might include event prompts when it drops.
When: Throughout June.
Where: Various locations as listed in the prompts below.
Warnings: Spoilers for the final volume of Kokoro Connect, unreality/dehumanization, memory loss, and mentions of human experimentation of the mental and soul kind. There will also be mentions of death as well as the potential for minor cursing. If anything else comes up, I will update this post to edit.

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( all prompts in the replies below.
feel free to toss in a wildcard prompt or ask me for a custom prompt by messaging me on plurk at tsundereban or discord [Len#9692]
alternatively, also feel free to plot with me in june's plotting post! )

Comments

[starrypoint]

[back to this... it puts a heavy weight in his chest, too, and he doesn't look at her. he thinks how the old him might've reacted, teasing and then brushing away or changing the topic completely, and knows it's the easier way.

easier not to rub people wrong, easier to not think about it, easier to put his own worries aside.

he'd do the same thing now, with this life, he guesses. just because deep talk like this doesn't fit him. or would get him laughed out his old friend's group. but it doesn't feel right, knowing what he does and having gone through what he has.]

You can just say you're scared of losin' what you have, Inaba. Everythin' you've done, everyone you've met — good and bad, they made you who you are. But it's not like they'd hate you for moving on, either.

[he's sure she's got words for him about any of that, so he's quick to follow up—]

I'm not gonna convince you one way or the other, but there really ain't any reason to be so distrustful. It is what it is. No matter how the memories differ, the soul remains the same — the things that make you you, or anyone else, won't change.

[dereban]

"The soul remains the same"-- don't give me that bullshit!

[ It's an immediate, kneejerk response. She's angry, frustrated and she can practically feel her hands trembling. ]

I know that's not the case! The soul definitely-- definitely can change.

[starrypoint]

What makes you you, what makes me me, will always be there -- no matter what happens in your life.

[just as defensive, as confident, as her own assertion.]

Things will be different. They'll shape you differently. But in the end, you're always gonna be you at the heart of it all, your soul's always gonna be the same -- what proof've you got that says any different?

[dereban]

I--

[ Her voice crackles. She hesitates. No, she can't be talking about this. ]

I just know. I just do.

[starrypoint]

Yeah, pardon me for callin' bullshit on that. 'Cause I "just know" too.

[he doesn't know why she's hesitating, what she's upset for, but he doesn't know if she'll say either -- they're not close, more like cat and dog than anything, but.

but they're the only two in their class who know anymore, surrounded by people who know in a sense without the full picture. subaru shifts, uncomfortable in his skin, and slumps more.]

I'll tell mine if you wanna know how I'm so sure.

[with the underling understanding that she could share hers too, after. but he wouldn't make her go first.]

[dereban]

If you're going to say it, then spill.

[ Her words are immediate and clipped; it's clear that she has no plans on sharing why she thinks that she's right until she hears what he has to say about it. And even then, she still might not say. ]

[starrypoint]

... I'm not the Subaru Akehoshi you met closer to a year ago, Baachan. I haven't been since around the end of February.

[it's scary saying it out loud.

in the quiet comfort of the nurse's office it was a truth that wasn't stated so plainly, but was inferred and confirmed enough with the man there. it's easier to say not looking at her, and he knows that'd be true with anyone else, but inaba is someone who wants to be looked at when talked to -- he knows that much, from her attitude alone. the similarities he finds with certain others of her demeanor.

so it's hard, but he'll turn his head back to talk to her, eyes flicking nervously from hers and away.]

And not 'cause of what happened with Ama-ch... Amami and Keigo. Me and that Subaru, we've got whole different lives -- I don't even have his memories, but I'm still him. Our souls're the same.

[dereban]

...

[ "The end of February", huh.

That's pretty precise to nail down, and a part of her can't help but wonder if there's any specific reason for it.

She doesn't know.

Not for sure, anyway. ]

I see. Well, I can't guess about your circumstances. And... I'm not going to ask any further, either. Pushing that hard isn't something that I want to do, really.

[ Or so she says, anyway. ]

...but, hm... [ She taps her foot, thinking. ] I don't know if I should say...