wolfetracks (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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yogen2021-05-08 08:53 pm
wolfetracks) wrote in yogen2021-05-08 08:53 pm
( MAY CATCH-ALL )
WHO: Sidney Wolfe & You
WHAT: Various things throughout the month of may that don't suit the event log!
WHEN: All month!
WHERE: Around the school!
WARNINGS: None Applicable Yet, to be updated as they come.
There likely won't be any open posts, but I'm always down for some plotting or throwing ideas around on plurk or discord if you have it! If you want me to respond to a certain prompt in your event log toplevel, just let me know! Ask all involved parties for thread-jacking, or feel free to leave a tag for sidney himself!!.
WHAT: Various things throughout the month of may that don't suit the event log!
WHEN: All month!
WHERE: Around the school!
WARNINGS: None Applicable Yet, to be updated as they come.
There likely won't be any open posts, but I'm always down for some plotting or throwing ideas around on plurk or discord if you have it! If you want me to respond to a certain prompt in your event log toplevel, just let me know! Ask all involved parties for thread-jacking, or feel free to leave a tag for sidney himself!!.
no subject
No one can be there all of the time... well, that's reasonable, so he can't argue. He's just glad someone was there, after all.
He pulls back a little more once Noah starts to calm down, though he still keeps a firm arm around the boy's shoulders. Clamor is hardly an expert with these things, but Noah being able to talk about it seems like a positive step forward. He knits his brows at the explanation, and he could fill in the obvious blanks—he has seen Noah's trauma firsthand, after all—but that's not really his story to tell. He steals a glance at Sidney when the Order comes up, but aside from that, he gives nothing. Not this time, at least.]
... Sidney's right. You shouldn't have to be alone when you're like that. I keep telling you... it's alright for you to rely on others sometimes. [rely on him, because when Noah runs off on his own it just makes him worry more, not less]
Is there anything else you need right now? ... Have you eaten anything today? [he might have a juice box and some fruit snacks tucked away in his desk... you never know when you might need to feed a teenager in murderschool, yknow]
no subject
[And there it is, the biggest lie of the century. He knows this will happen again. It's not like this is a one-time deal. Noah knows better, presumably the adults know better, but he's stubborn; admitting something is wrong is another can of worms entirely and Noah only prefers to open that can when he's alone. The only reason he was able to admit anything to Sidney in the library was because he'd been caught. Any other time, he'd pretend everything is fine.
It's supposed to be, isn't it? He can't break down from (another) panic attack if he bottles everything up, right? (No, not right, but that's what Noah's going to say makes the most sense because shutting down in the past has worked wonders until it hasn't.)]
...no, I didn't eat. I'm not hungry.
[His eyes shift between Sidney and Clamor, and then he goes back to staring at the space between the two of them, avoiding eye contact.]
I don't... um... [words don't need to be this difficult. Why are words like this?] ...I don't like asking for help. It's easier to deal with alone.
no subject
How many things in this school would be broken, do you think, if we just decided to leave messes and not fix things? Your health is the same.
( sidney only shifts to ruffle noah's hair- he's not in trouble, they're just worried old men. though... maybe he might have to show clamor the notebook later. oof. )
At least have something to drink, alright? I promise you that it will help.
no subject
"Something to drink" is a problem he can fix right now, though, so he finally breaks away from Noah to retrieve the emergency desk snacks. He pulls over a chair for himself while he's at it, sitting down next to Noah as he hands over the goods: room-temperature orange juice and a packet of mixed dried fruits.]
You really should be eating a proper meal, but at least take these for now. You'll make yourself sick if you don't eat anything all day... oh, and I already checked to make sure there's no peaches, so you don't have to worry about that! If you're feeling hungry later I can make us something, if you'd like? I'm not much of a chef, but I think I get the gist of how the stoves here work now...
[it is... probably still not safe to let clamor loose in a modern kitchen, but unless someone else offers...]
no subject
But, oh boy, room temperature orange juice! Noah's favourite (not really), which despite claiming he's not hungry he's very quick to dig into both that and the dried fruits.]
You get... the gist of how the stove works?
[And with that, Noah looks up at Sidney, where he's just going to... casually not give voice to the whole "we talked about this" statement because if he does they're going to be here all day going back and forth. Instead, he gives Sidney what could be called a pleading expression, like, please don't let Clamor burn his hand off in the kitchen.
Noah, frankly, hasn't tried to figure the stove out, so...]
Maybe Sidney could show you how to work the stove better? [is Noah's smart suggestion on the matter, said between him shoveling dried fruits into his mouth.]
no subject
Yeah, no, I can do that. It's better to go in knowing exactly what you're doing.
( they don't need to be burning the school down??? especially if they can't leave. oh lord.
but yes, the notebook is present- he wasn't about to leave it behind. eventually, and somewhat reluctantly, sidney sighs, holding it still in one hand. )
Noah, is it alright if I show Clamor this?
( because the boy needs help, but this- he doesn't know any of this. clamor, however, has familiarity. but... if noah says no, that's all he can do for right now. until necessity dictates otherwise, that is, but even that feels rotten and underhanded. )
no subject
Sidney offers before he can get too huffy about it, though, so... he deflates with a little sigh.] I guess it'd be quicker with someone around who can just explain it. I could do it on my own if I wanted to... [sure, Clamor.
... anyway. There's still something else to discuss, apparently, before they go off making dinner plans. He raises an eyebrow at the notebook, then looks to Noah. Something he wrote? Or... maybe drew? He's already worried, give the context, but he waits for Noah's answer regardless.]
no subject
But, uh, yeah. The notebook. Noah nods very reluctantly, figuring if they don't rip the bandaid off now that he'll just have to do it later, and either way it's going to suck. He explains very briefly,]
I was trying to, um... just keep my hands occupied, and...
[...and basically he wound up drawing the usual things he focuses on. Clamor but in sickle form (because sickles are cool okay), cats, phases of the moon, et cetera — but halfway through it's easy to see where he got too caught up in his panic and started scrawling out half-finished portraits with chaotic pen strokes and one actually finished piece depicting a man with his face scribbled out.
There's a letter written nearby on that same page in nearly indecipherable handwriting, the only legible lines being, "Harque, I miss you". Flipping a page forward shows the notes he and Sidney had been passing back in forth, where Noah's handwriting is only marginally better; each page is crinkled just slightly in spots where he'd been crying over the paper.]
...I don't know. I sort of blacked out, I guess.
no subject
I take kitchen safety very seriously. I'd do this for anyone who isn't already familiar with such things, I assure you. Just let me know when.
( but then noah brings out the real subject at hand: his current condition, and the notebook. there's much he doesn't understand, and perhaps it's not his place. but once he hands clamor the notebook, sidney is crouched beside noah again, ruffling his hair somewhat and otherwise reminding him in little ways: they're all here, real, physical. he isn't alone. )
You might want to reconsider how effective the library is as a place to go when you're upset. Sure, no one can hear you... but your thoughts, however treacherous they may become, are all that you can hear.
clamor staring at the notebook for 10 days in a row like
None of it is new information. There's nothing new here for him to worry about, nothing that he hasn't seen before or tried to help with... getting better doesn't come easy, does it? How long does Noah have to suffer before he's had enough?
He lingers on the conversation with Sidney, but eventually he flips back to the first page, before the sketches became chaotic and unstable.]
You got my good side.
[... squinting, well actually] Or at least I think that's my good side. I don't think I've ever seen the other side... [kinda hard using a mirror when you're a magic talking sickle with only one eye
That's, uh, probably incomprehensible to Sidney, but the important part is that there's nothing in here more worrying than what Sidney's already seen, so hopefully that intent still gets across. He doesn't want to focus too much on the negatives... and besides, it's a good thing that Noah opened up to someone. That's something he can be thankful for.]
no subject
...of course I did.
[Sidney ruffling his hair makes him think way too much of Harque, but not in a bad way. He doesn't deflate, just sort of... sits there, feeling the least bit happy about it, actually.
But, at the same time? Noah's not sure he wants to choose a different location to shut down in other than the library. It's just easier. Hasn't he always been alone with his thoughts, made to suffer through them no matter what he does? It's why he works himself to the point of collapse — he doesn't want to deal with them. If he has to deal with them, he'll do it alone.
...even though he's being told not to do that. It's a foreign concept, to more than one person around that wants him to, what, not go hide every time something is wrong?]
The library is just... easier. It's like... at night, how all of the sound disappears. If I wake up screaming from nightmares, I don't wake up the whole school.
[Except for the fact that on multiple occasions, Noah has knocked over a desk and woken up the classroom he's slept in by thrashing around and alarming everyone. He's thinking he'll go sleep in the hallways now. It's less-guarded, more open, but he won't have to feel bad about rousing anyone.]
If I have to go break down, no one has to deal with it but me.
no subject
speaking of... sidney shakes his head, moving his hand from noah's head to his shoulder. )
We want to 'deal with it', Noah. We want to help you.