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(closed) the rat died.
Who: Nagito Komaeda & anyone who hits me up
What: August catch-all
When: 08/01 onwards
Where: Various locations
Warnings: TBA
What: August catch-all
When: 08/01 onwards
Where: Various locations
Warnings: TBA
how do you know me better than i know myself?
hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey.
This post is a place for all of Komaeda's closed threads, starters, and miscellany through the month. If you want to set something up, I can be reached by PM or at ![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
sakasaki
no subject
I... I don't think it did. They were both... p-pierced through with katanas, and what attacked me never used any kind of sword. There were so many of them... and they were pierced through like someone positioned them like that.
[His grip tightens ever so slightly as he recounts it, stomach swirling with nausea... but it finally fades as he stops talking about it.]
I know it can't be right, though - you're here. He didn't hurt you. [A squeeze of fingers, a relieved smile.] And Hanamura... We never found him before we went into the elevator, so maybe he's also...
[Hinata trails off, stomach dropping as he listens to Komaeda. If he's saying "it", that can only mean...]
I don't want to go back, but... We shouldn't leave Hanamura there, either, right? Although if- [He swallows hard.] If... Monokuma was trying so hard to kill you, it might already be too late...
no subject
( he's always been safeguarded by his luck, and the trade off normally someone else taking the fall — a talent that's worthless to him, but if he wanted to count on it... it'd work in his favor. he's never asked for this sort of helping hand, but it's more than enough to help him through unknown obstacles; one being the elevator itself. an idea comes to him, one where he finds himself becoming silent, and everything down there was wrong — none of it was correct, the truth of the matter is that hanamura did attempt to kill komaeda, but killed togami instead — manipulation of the weak pulled through, and komaeda sided with the killer just to make things interesting.
the outcome should have been hanamura executed, the entire group becomes indifferent to komaeda, and they move on in the name of hope. )
...If you think that way, we can go back.
( that way if it does win up leading them back, hinata can get the much needed reassurance on the lives of others — they'll all be dead, or it'll play out the way that it should. it's despicable to take him back down, to feed him the idea that pekoyama is dead, that kuzuryuu is dead, that anyone of the group is even truly deceased. it doesn't matter when komaeda knows the truth at the end, that they're all alive, leftover pieces of despair, and that's why exposing hinata to something like this wouldn't matter, shouldn't. if a day comes where he remembers, where his eyes hold two different colors...
...
...
he won't be upset with komaeda for this, will he?
his fingers twitch, brushing against hinata's, a light scratch of his nails unconsciously. )
Don't let someone like me hold you back to satiate the thirst of your curiosity.
no subject
[Hinata doesn't have a lot of strength in his body. He feels weak, and there's still pain that the medicine can't cover up completely.
But in that moment, he doesn't care. Hinata raises up to a sitting position, holding onto Komaeda as tightly as he can.]
...It matters to me! You matter-
[He breaks off, shuts his eyes as his heart aches in his chest.]
When I ran through the island... That thing chasing after me and Monokuma telling me you'd died for me... They were the worst moments of my life. [When he manages to look up at Komaeda, his eyes are wet.] All I could think about was getting to the old lodge and confirming for myself if you were really dead. All I could think about was your calm that I envied and your smiles that reassured me, and thinking that you were gone, I-
[Hinata cuts himself off, is silent for a long stretch after.]
...I won't go back there with you. I won't let Monokuma kill you. My curiosity can go to hell.
no subject
Stop that—-
( he starts, he wants to move his organic hand, but the other's hold onto it feels like an iron grip, so he keeps it in place. instead, he lifts the mechanical one, a soft whirr alongside their voices as he brings it to hinata's cheek, cupping it for a moment, and his thumb feels no warmth, no anything, and so he uses his eyes to wipe away any tear that roams down his face. )
Don't give up on them.
( he doesn't want him to lose that part of himself, those people that relied on him more than they ever did him at that point. there's no need to give up on others that he doesn't know nor does he understand, and that part of hinata shouldn't be lost due to his... lack of memories. it doesn't matter how much he thinks of komaeda's calm, or his smiles, it almost feels like he's being mocked because in the end — why did he forget everyone else, and why did the youth only remember him.
he can be self-centered, but isn't that far too much? that's too much, everything, to admit that he is someone who can be envied... someone that can even be on a person's mind. he shouldn't be surprised, even when hinata hated him, he still cared. he still had feelings that makes komaeda scratch and sneeze, and now that bleed out, or is he thinking too hard.
... this isn't about him. )
As long as you remember them, you can carry on their hope... even if you're the one who put us out of our misery.
no subject
Now it makes him shut his eyes and press his cheek into that metal palm. A few rapidly squeeze out from behind his closed eyes at first, but then they slow, nearly crawl to a stop. His entire body relaxes.
He stays like that, quiet, for a long moment. After a time, he opens his eyes again, fingers brushing against the metal ones holding him.]
I didn't kill you guys. I would never. I'd rather die first. [His fingers move to the back of Komaeda's hand, holding it there. It's cold, and it frightens him that his regular hand is gone. But it's Komaeda's, and that's enough.] Will you tell me what actually happened to you? What happened to your hand?
[It's a reassurance, now that he remembers it. Monokuma had to have been lying if Komaeda survived long enough for... whatever caused this.]
no subject
Hinata-kun, your death would serve no purpose... thinking about living and seeing what the... ( a singular word comes to mind, one that appeared more than once in their simulation life ) future has in store is more fitting for you. ...What Monokuma said, I've never been executed, so he lied to you.
( as komaeda watches the male's fingers brush against his own hand, the thought simulates the nerves, and his index finger quickly twitches. there's a lot he could say about this arm — that he was consumed by despair, that he fell in love, there's multiple answers he could give on the history behind it. )
This? ( his mechanical arm opens, the palm of it visible, and the thumb sweeps against a few of hinata's fingers. the act of sawing off his arm, lucky enough to make a clean cut without jagged edges, grateful to mikan for helping with his procedure. ) ...What do you think of the craft? ( did he avoid purposefully, or does he think hinata dislikes it in general? something he, himself, gave to komaeda with the help of tj — souda. ) It's nicely made... isn't it...