yogen | npc contact.2

I've never lost hope, he'll always be a stepping stone for you all! ...Even though, those people are to blame why he's no longer here.

( they snuffed his light, but komaeda manages to smile despite that. it sounds horrible, and he thinks of all the things saihara has said to him, and he wonders should he be sad. what would he be sad about? it's hard to be sad, especially when...

...

...

...

he doesn't know. )

He's part of the foundation... ah, there's so much I wish I could have told him. I feel heart broken with every Ultimate that passes on, but he liked Kawaii-san, so maybe... I'll permit it.

[ Booooooo, they puff their mochi cheeks ]

My heart's big enough! I can love both you and hope!

[...

he won't throw amami under the bus...]

That's all~. So you don't gotta promise anything. ☆ What do you wanna hear first: how I stole from the rich to give to the poor, kept some poisons from ne'er-do-wells, about the talismans Maimai taught me, about the marketplace Ama-chan and I frequented... Oh, there was a lot of fun buildings to do parkour on too, I liked that a lot~. I made a lot of friends there too!

[mostly animals but-- he got friendly with the locals, naturally, once he got into the swing of the way things were.]

The school caught on fire.

[ The school burned? people died? tragic ]

I meant about your retirement.

[pleaaaaase]

Yourself.

( what is that supposed to mean? he's not going to elaborate. )

I reserved that day for you, after all. Please don't disappoint me.

( watches as rokkun puts the wrapper on akki's head, and he reaches out to smack it off... more effort than komaeda's ever gave around some rando. akki... i'm sorry, at least they're not flirting. )

Oh, you could be a cock, those are very low effort, or a ghost.

There can only be one, you can only choose one.

( there's only one right answer. )

( Tatarimoke...

Oh. )

Then Little Owlet it IS. ( Alrighty then. Back to going up to the cooking room they go— ) Your onii-chan will show you how to make wonderful graveyard pudDING. Though I wish there were a way you could have some for yourSELF... My peers would probably enjoy IT, but it's a shame that we're going to make it together and I'm the only one who'll get to eat some out of the two of US.

Yeah? Okay, okay, maybe it'd have been for my peace of mind more than yours...

( because, yeah, he'll admit it: he probably does feel a little more protective of kamo-kun than he strictly needs to be, but it can't be helped. he already feels like every single thing precious to him has been nothing but sand slipping between his fingers — the harder he tries to hold on, the more quickly he's left with empty hands. there's something a little sad in his smile, and honestly... honestly, if he were stronger than he is, maybe he'd rethink going at all.

he's not, though. he's weak and claustrophobic, sick of feeling like a cornered animal in a confined space; he'll come back soon, of course, but he can't bring himself to promise not to go at all. for now, he'll just have to trust in kamo-kun, and in those who are staying behind to look after them. )

But if you're fine with it, just make sure you stay safe, 'kay? I suppose it's better here than in the school either way though.

You... [ ... ] ...r hope?

[ Like how Komaeda is always talking about their hope. "Hope" can be a synonym for "entire being" ]

[ Akki's there wanting to say something about Rokkun already being a dick but he won't, he's too polite and too busy playing dead ]

I'll just be me, then.

[ Komaeda isn't wrong. Rokkun's everyday is a costume. ]

I don't have hope, you can only like hope in general.

( like that's a shocker, but this doesn't count because he won't let it! )

( akki stfu, i'm tearing up. this is so degrading, and komaeda doesn't know whether to scoff or laugh. )

You're going to let me dress up alone, huh? ...I guess.

( wombat is still on the table. i've been crying over rokkun's everyday is a costume and i'm getting light headed. )

Oh woe is me... I'm not good enough to have a partner in crime that'll wear an outfit with me...

[ okay, fine, brief pause in dots and boxes while they lean over and read, cheek pressed up against Komaeda's arm while they... while he...

...

...it's true, though. It's like reading their own thoughts of barely a month or two ago, wary and scared and it wasn't just a suit of armor that they wore to protect themselves, it was a castle and a moat and archers in the towers and an entire army at the center reminding them not to let anybody in. Because the last person they loved, he left and tore down the walls in his departure, and it took so long to build that back up, stone by stone. It had hurt and this is going to hurt and it already has hurt— it's that hurt when Amami disappeared for all those weeks and searched the school again and again and again trying to find him, that hurt whenever Komaeda talks about dying or giving up a part of himself or when he leaves them alone for more than ten minutes, that hurt when Subaru plays pranks on them and they get mad and when they're mad they cry and get mean and he's going to hate them he's going to leave he won't even want to be friends anymore and it's going to hurt so much if he leaves because without his light it's going to be cold and dark and silent and there's not going to be anything left inside and

they tear their eyes away from the paper to duck under Komaeda's arm and bury their face against his side instead. ]

( First part: established. Key notes: Seki-kun made a promise. )

With you or someone ELSE?

The first one's always FREE, and anything after that you have to pay FOR... I take all kinds of payment THOUGH, not just moNEY.

( He doesn't really have a need for money here, especially with the recent merit points boon D-classes got. It isn't like he can leave campus... Good to pay the shopkeep kid with though for things he can't get here. )

...I also deal in more things than just fortune telLING, so if you ever want a bit of gosSIP, I have very good hearING.

( He opens his mouth to say yes, thinks of the past school year, and decides against that. )

I try to have at least a decent chance of getting the result I want before I attempt anyTHING, so I suppose I can't say I always wait until that chance is a perfect one-hundred-perCENT.

( double checking the thread date to see the status of his sister complex... unfortunately for him, intact. )

Honestly, I don't think there's anything too special about me. I'm just a regular guy. ( and he's grimacing, but after a moment, continues. )

I always seem to turn out pretty useless when it matters most though, but maybe that's just the memory problems.

( maybe if he knew what his stupid talent was, he could make use of it when it mattered. )

( does he feel bad? no, komaeda never feels bad, but he has a feeling he knows what's going on in npckun's mind as they read, how their face shifts, the expression they wear, and then how they go to hide in komaeda's side as if the truth isn't there written on the paper. lightly, he taps the end of the pencil against the paper, but he doesn't turn to look at them, nor does he wrap his arm to comfort them either, and instead he allows them to latch. truthfully, komaeda has been in love, he has loved himself — he fell in love with hope that fated night on the school's campus, he fell for someone he didn't know, but the amount of hope that overflowed from them — how he was born for the sake of meeting that specific person. it was before the touch, before the bullet, just feeling that they were the one, it's a sort of love that could be written off as love at first sight.

...

komaeda's never felt that before, so that warm feeling that wrapped over him like a blanket, to be in their blinding radiance, it was at that moment he gave himself to another, even if they didn't realize it. it was a love that komaeda would give everything for, even his life, that's the sort of love that he expects. it doesn't hurt, no, not to him because he's a masochist for it, and so the pain continues pushing him forward, because there's nothing wrong with unrequited, there's nothing wrong with loving and the other doesn't love you back — there's a strength in that, that sort of commitment is beyond the words he wrote on this paper, but npckun is scared, they must not be able to live a life where they love, and that love isn't returned, because they want to be loved. love me, love you, love them. it's always been about them doing their best to be loved, they crave it, they'll fit any personality to have it.

they shouldn't have to do that for this, not for love they desire just from anyone. )

What's wrong, are you afraid of love, now?

( even as he says that, he flips the dots and boxes paper back over to lean against npckun so they can hide even more. it's funny, komaeda thinks about love, and he wonders where he's misplaced his... and thinking about it makes him bite his tongue, he pauses, thinking of how to proceed. )

Can you stomach if this love isn't the ideal, that there's consequences that may come from it? Are you prepared, because throwing yourself in without thought... not just anyone can save you, not even him. Only you can save you.

[we're going to pretend they know how to mulch, I live where we don't get snow so waves my hands]

Like their own kind of blanket. Does it get terribly cold here?

No, I don't think they're being hurt... but. We're wondering if there's a way to help them come back sooner. But it sounds like it's up to them, isn't it?

Be me.

[ Marry into the family and he'll probably hate you is what Rokkun's thinking, because look at the rest of the family and how the guy regards them. ]

Look, I don't know what his goal is. He's always been hands off; he probably just likes watching everybody run around aimlessly.

It's fine.

[ She also wants to say something really fucking rude but she will not ]

I'm asking because you sounded happier talking about virtual reality than I've heard you before, like it's something that makes you happy, instead of revolving around other people's happiness.

[ Whereas fortune telling fully caters to other people, it's all about manipulating and tricking them, and the magic falls apart once you're aware that it's all bullshit. It's hard to get away from thinking like that when you're like Maya who views literally everything through a lens of suspicion. ]

Do I just sit here like I'm watching a 3D IMAX movie?

[ This is useful trivia, now Subaru can teach bones to all his friends ]

You can't really see all the teeth on this skull. I'll draw a new one with the bottom jaw half ripped off so it'll be easier for you to label.

[ why is he like this ]

...alright. I'll think of something.

npc contact.2

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