yogen | [CLOSED] Now you've got a weapon and a companion, all in one!

[For the last week or so, Noah's taken notice of it, how the wisteria petal jar on his shelf begins to glow whenever he walks past — though if he gets far enough away, the glow seems to stop. He's already made a point in avoiding the jar after finding out what it was, not wanting to damage any of the petals within lest he re-kill someone, and now the damn thing is glowing at him and him specifically. It's suspicious, and to be frank, he wants nothing to do with it.

This goes on for a while before, by happenstance, Noah walks by one day without his sickle at his hip, and out of the corner of his eye as he's squinting at the jar... it doesn't glow. Logically, he assumes that whatever was in there died again or has given up or whatever, and he's tempted to take the jar outside and set it by the wisteria tree in a "sorry for fucking around and finding out please take your souls back" sort of way. But, well, he doesn't do that, and the jar remains on his shelf. It's only when he passes by again at another point with the sickle that Noah puts two and two together.

Whatever is in there probably wants into the weapon. Noah tells himself that there's no way that this is Clamor wanting to return home because it can't be, more out of an instinct of not wanting to let himself be happy or give himself any semblance of hope than anything based within true logic. Therefore, he also tells himself, he should continue to not fuck with unknowns in this place before he does something and ruins something else. So another day goes by with Noah thinking, really hard, about why the hell the wisteria jar glows at him now, because it sure as hell wasn't before, even when he first rescued sickle-Clamor from the tree.

It's the sixth when he decides that he's going to open the jar, which is a full conversation he has with the empty weapon by the by, like he's trying to logically talk himself out of such a decision which ends on something like "but if we don't open this we'll never find out what it wants". A smarter Noah would have called Nene to come check this out before rash decisions are made. Unfortunately, the Noah of October 6th is a dumb Noah, who decides after five more minutes of back and forth with ~~Clamor~~ himself that he's going to open the jar.

Notably, as soon as he opens it, the glow disappears as if he's disturbed the contents (he supposes he sort of has) and then he looks around his dorm room dumbfounded, doesn't see any change, doesn't feel any change, and he closes the lid of the jar and shoves it back on his shelf next to his rock gacha rocks. In his mind, whatever he just did was the wrong decision, and he can't help but feel melancholy when he leaves the room again.

Two days pass in silence. Noah spends those two days with his nose shoved in Clamor's spellbook, trying to parse how exactly he's going to fix the whole soul issue. At this point he's read the entire spellbook cover to cover multiple times, but it's worth it to him to scour the notes for something he might've missed. On the eighth after school, he's in his dorm room sitting on the floor, criss-cross-applesauce and sighing dramatically at an empty room.]

You really couldn't have written a spell about bringing souls back from the dead, huh?

[He glances a touch forlornly at the sickle, but... necromancy isn't a great thing to practice anyway, so he can't be that mad, right?]

[The last week or so has been far less kind to Clamor.

Longer than that, actually. Time has since lost all meaning, stretching on and repeating itself in a senseless, formless prison. It's different from when he was sealed, he quickly learns—a sealed mind has no thoughts, no awareness, and perhaps that has its own horrors but at least he could rest peacefully. It was more like waking up from a dreamless sleep, from Seven Tower straight into the present. What he's in now is...

It's a lot of things. Shifting, changing. It didn't seem so bad at first. Quiet but secure, maybe even a comfortable place he could sort out his thoughts, but then— then—

like a string being cut, a mind tossed into unkind winds. pulling, separating—he was so sure he was going to die, to completely cease to exist, but he was... gathered? still together, whole but not. scattered but contained and disoriented and sickened in a way he struggled to even comprehend. a whole that's been pulled apart but he's still whole, he's still here, has to focus to keep his mind together but he can't risk finding out what happens if he doesn't—

time gets messier and messier. he feels his mind, his soul being pulled, pulled—but whatever it is lets up, only to come back again and again... pulling him against some barrier he can't overcome. he's tired in an indescribable way. he's scared. he's not ready to let go, not even sure if he can, but... how much more of this can he take? how long before he goes completely insane?

time passes like mist. he's trying, he's trying... please, El, if this is all there is just let him die

he's pulled again, but this time is

different

no barrier. he's moving again, he's

somewhere?

too many pieces, his mind is in shambles but something is different. different but... familiar.

there's a shape, a cage that felt small once but compared to a minute ago it's downright comfortable. just his size... knows exactly where each piece goes, like putting a puzzle back together...

he's tired, and when his awareness starts to fade he lets it. he's so tired... he just wants to rest.

...]

[It takes a few days for them to synchronize, not unlike the last time Clamor's mind was sealed. He wakes, his mind whole again. All he can see is the ceiling above them, maybe a lightbulb, the edge of someone's elbow peeking over his eye.

He hears Noah's voice next to him. It doesn't feel real yet, but it's... it's nice. If it's a dream (can he dream now?), it's a welcome one. He stares at the ceiling and remembers how to speak.]

Necromancy is illegal, Noah.

Edited (forgot how rooms work) 2021-10-04 21:56 (UTC)

[H—

Girl help he's hallucinating.

In absolute disbelief, Noah stares down at Clamor next to him, from where he's lying eye-up on the floor by Noah's leg. There's no way. There's absolutely no fucking way he heard that voice again, clearly this school is getting to him more than he thinks it is — because while he's been talking instinctively to an empty weapon, he's realised without a doubt that it is empty, clinging onto some vague hope that one day Clamor would come back from the dead. Did he eat something bad?

People don't just— come back from the dead, not really, even though it's possible like with Inaba he supposes but also why would Noah be so lucky?

He remains silent for a solid minute, and then, softly,]

...Clamor...?

[The tears are already falling as he dares to utter the name.]

[Noah goes quiet, and... Clamor does, too. He's fine with the quiet. There are still little sounds all around for him to pick up on, tiny movements, muffled voices and footsteps rooms away... the world feels so much more lively. It's not as clear as he would like it to be, but an ego weapon's hearing isn't quite as sharp as an elf's. It's better than nothing.

But he did hear Noah a moment ago. His eye moves—the eye that would've been completely dark up until Clamor first spoke, now bright and awake like usual—and it takes a minute for him to orient himself, figure out where he is and where Noah must be... but he sorts it out, staring up at Noah now.

... oh. Noah is crying.]

I'm here. [stated simply, because... it still doesn't feel like he's here, but it's what he should say, isn't it?] Is... everything alright?

What do you mean—

[Give him a moment to choke back more tears and wipe his eyes pathetically on his sleeve, another to push the spellbook away before he cries on that too, and finally one more so that he can pick Clamor up and look him in the eye. After all, the angle must be awkward.]

What do you mean, is everything alright?! You died! I th-thought you were gone forever!

[It isn't like him to lash out at Clamor specifically, but he can't exactly help it; emotions are running high and Noah's been struggling so much recently, just trying to keep afloat and prevent the single thread holding him together from fraying and snapping. In some ways, it already had; what's left are pieces Noah is trying so desperately to pick up and put back together only because he promised he'd survive.]

I thought I'd never see you again, and— and it sucked!

[Before he's asked why he's sobbing, though:]

I'm crying because I missed you!

[Oh.

... that makes sense. Yeah. Noah would be upset if he was gone.

His body is numb and his mind still feels utterly drained... but there's something else for him to focus on now. He looks Noah over, really looks at him now that the angle is better—Noah looks like a mess, but there are no new injuries (that he can see), so that's good, and the room behind him doesn't look familiar at all. He catches sight of the spellbook off to one side. He can't quite grasp the situation yet, but there are pieces for him to put together.

He's been gone—no, he died, and now he's returned to the sickle.

... he wishes he could reach out and hold Noah close, but it's really not possible anymore, is it? The world feels a little colder. But this isn't the time for his regrets.]

I'm sorry if I worried you... but I'm here now. It's okay. [softly, comforting, like this has all just been a bad dream] You... can cry into my arms if you want. I don't mind.

... I missed you, too.

[In a moment, as per usual, Noah will want to focus more on Clamor — he always does. It's their favourite game, to focus on the other one until someone caves and spits out what's on their mind. For now, though, he's a messy mix of relief and worry and misery and elation all at once, however the hell that's possible.

Yeah, it would be nice to have a hug, but he'd rather have Clamor alive than anything. This is how they used to be, so it's fine, isn't it? Even if Noah can't help but miss the time they spent together not as weapon and wielder but as two people trying their damn best. The first time they ever hugged feels like an eternity ago now, and, miserably, Noah doesn't know if it'll happen again. Even if he says it will, even if he was hellbent on it back home...

His face is red and puffy from crying, tears streaking down his face. Every time he wipes them off, more take their place, and by now his right sleeve is entirely soaked through. Of course, of course Clamor has to go for the arms jokes. And of course, Noah can't help but crack a smile.]

If you ever leave again, [he threatens, pressing the ball of his hand into one eye like that's going to stifle the tears,] I will learn necromancy to bring you back.

[Yes, even if it's illegal. He's going to. Don't test him.]

...how are you doing now?

[The tears don't seem like they'll ever end... but it's good, to let your emotions out. He wishes he could do the same.]

I don't know if being a zombie would be much better... besides, my soul is already here, so necromancy wouldn't be much help. [1) no corpse to animate, and 2) imagine the smell? awful. don't revive him into a rotting husk of a body.

How is he doing now, though? ... it's an obvious question, but his mind draws a blank. How is he doing? Should he just say he's fine?

...]

... I don't know. I think I'll be okay, but... [he's been so scared, it still doesn't feel real]

I missed you. I thought I'd never hear your voice again... I already feel better.

Me too. Even if I'm... you know, crying — it'll stop soon, I swear.

[Sniffle, sniffle.]

..."but."

[Noah echoes at last, sort of a secondary thought that he's rounding back to now, once he registers that. Clamor's usually so chipper when he tries to reassure, so what gives? What, exactly, happened? Between here and the gorinto, which Noah doesn't realise Clamor won't remember, and between the actual murder and said stack of rocks...

What sorts of things did Clamor have to suffer through?]

Nene and I told you we'd get you back at the gorinto, and... I guess I did, somehow. Um... you'll be okay now. I promise. I'll keep you safe, okay?

[Haha, gorinto? What gorinto? But it seems like a minor detail to Clamor, so he barely registers it at all. They promised to get him back, and they did—that's what matters.]

Whatever it was, I'm sure you did great! Thank you, Noah. I'm proud of you. [At least his usual cheeriness is coming back. It's not even forced, really—he's genuinely happy to be back and safe again.

And he does feel safe. So very safe. He can truly appreciate the quality of his seal now, knowing how much worse things could be... it's a bit cramped, but at least he doesn't feel like he could fall apart at any moment.]

How long have I been gone? Are we still at Yogen? I don't recognize this room... oh! Is this the dorms? [there's probably a uniform or some textbooks sitting around, so he can guess that it's still Yogen] So this must be your room? Ahh, I really wanted to sleep on a bed again... I guess I'll just have to wait a little longer for that. Turn me around, I want to see the other side.

[All he's really wanted is Clamor to be proud of him — among other things like, oh, the man getting to live again even if it's within a weapon — so to hear it stated makes him feel more elated than he's felt in a long time.

Unfortunately, he has to answer more depressing questions, so the serotonin quickly like... dies or whatever serotonin does. Senku tried to explain it once; Noah didn't really absorb it, sort of like how he doesn't absorb serotonin because he's depressed—]

You've been gone since... August... 25th. It's October 8th. [Oof. He winces a bit; at least the tears have stopped?] We're at Yogen, and yeah, this is my room. I share it with Senku.

[Instead of just turning Clamor around, though, Noah gets up and then proceeds to spin said ego weapon in his hand and then starts walking around the room to show Clamor everything, leaning over occasionally to make sure he's got Clamor's eye pointed at the right stuff.]

Over here is mostly Senku's lab equipment. There's a microscope, [points at it] which lets you see things you put under it super close up. Senku showed me how to use it. I stuck a bunch of things under it like leaves and hair and other things.

[Cells are cool. Noah's assuming Clamor did not get to play with a microscope in classes here.]

This is the closet. ...it's a closet. [Moving on.] These are our bunk beds. I sleep on the top one. Over there is my shelf with some rocks on it. [The skull rock is the coolest one.] Senku's shelf is over there with... I don't know what on it. And then... these are the suncatchers I put in the window. Amami bought me this one. He called it a "mooncatcher" since it looks a bit like a moon. ...I thought Harque would've liked it.

[And, ermmmm...]

If you look outside the window, I... set up a grave marker for you. I guess I can take it down now...

[There's a bundle of spider lilies sitting on top of it, snipped and wrapped with a ribbon from the art room and left there. Someone told Noah that they symbolized final goodbyes. He didn't really have better flowers to leave there.]

...that's the whole room though. It's not much, but it's better than sleeping on the floor. I can show you the rest of the dorms, if you want.

[Ohhh he's getting a proper tour, exciting! He really should be focusing more on what he's missed, what's been going on in his absence, but... maybe they both need a little normalcy right now. As a treat.

Anyway, he tries not to wiggle too much while Noah shows him around. So Noah is rooming with Senku, he has a bunch of cute suncatchers and rocks, a nice comfy bunk bed...]

Oh. I've never had a grave before. [... honestly not sure how he's supposed to feel about that one, but the mood is a resounding "huh!"] You know, I'm not sure what the practise is for that. Not enough cases of people coming back from the dead that I'm aware of... we can leave it up, if you want to. I don't mind. [not everyone can say they've visited their own grave. it'll be a fun icebreaker!!]

Sure, why don't you show me around? It'll be a good way to reacquaint myself with everything... and everyone. [explaining this might take awhile, especially if he's been gone a whole month, haha... but he'll be happy to see everyone again. it'll work out.] October... oh! You said Amami got you something? Is he back as well? He was still missing last I remember...

[sure is a question he should already know the answer to, but hey,]

[That sure is a question you should already know the answer to buddy!]

Uh... yeah, we talked about Amami being back when we were at the gorinto, remember? He seems fine now. He's been helping me out lately.

[Intermittently, anyway. But a tour of the dorms is in order, after all, and you know what Clamor seems pretty damn enthused with getting his own grave, what the hell dude. Noah supposes he might be too? Or maybe a bit melancholy? Uh... both?]

...ignore the paintings on the walls. They're... b...bleeding lately? I don't know why. Sara and I spent hours covering them with canvases and drawing over them since they're horrifying to look at, but that seems like it doesn't matter anymore. [Anyway, moving on.] I don't know who has what room still, s...sorry. These are the moon rooms...

[Noah carries on showing Clamor all the sections where the different types of rooms are, and then stops in front of Star 3.]

This is technically your room, with Sidney and Lucifer, [and some dude named Rio, Noah supposes,] uh... I guess you wouldn't know that. [Probably should... talk about what happened.] If you want to spend the nights in the same room as them, I trust them not to steal you.

[It's such a thing to say, but also, there are some motherfuckers here who would love to steal a magic weapon and go nuts. Noah trusts about two or three people here... but he carries on walking since he doesn't have a door key to the Dad Room, stopping in front of Star 5.]

This is Nene's and Shinobu's room. S...sometimes I sleep in there. [With Nene. Who is not here currently, because she's probably finishing up her last classes of the day, but he knows she's going to come around eventually, joined at the hip as they are currently.]

Oh, and over here...

[Noah shows off the showers ("They're showers, moving on") and the laundry room ("this is called a washing machine? It washes clothes?" — he'll show Clamor how cool washers and dryers are later) and then the study hall and common room and kitchen, the bathrooms aren't really important but he points them out from across the room. Then, when the tour ends, he finally turns Clamor around to face him again.]

That's... pretty much all to see in the dorms.

[Noah moves some of his hair out of his face because, uh, he hasn't exactly cut it in several months and it's sort of getting out of hand. Clamor might notice that Noah is wearing his pendant, though, that plus the fact that his hair is turning black.]

...Do you wanna see the courtyard? There are these pretty flowers outside called spider lilies. They're what I left on your grave. Oh, and there's the... [He swallows thickly,] pool house...

At the gorinto? [that... doesn't sound familiar at all? but he doesn't want to worry Noah, so he's quick to brush it aside again] Right, yeah. That's good! I'm glad to hear it.

[... he's worried, but let's deal with that after they've had their little tour. They at least deserve to have this much.

Bleeding paintings, his room—a pleasant reminder that Sidney and Lucifer are here and safe, and if he had lungs he'd breathe a sigh of relief, but he'll worry about what to say to them later—Nene and Shinobu are safe ~~(haha)~~, then it's a very welcome distraction of Noah showing him the showers and the laundry and Clamor trying to ask how everything works even though Noah clearly just wants to do a quick overview for now, but what about the washing machine can it really wash anything? Study hall, common room, kitchen, bathrooms...

And then it's back to facing Noah. Finally noticing the little details, the pendant... black roots and tips that have started to get too long.]

... I guess it really has been a whole month. [Noah's already grown so much... he wishes he could ruffle that hair, like the first time they woke up in this school and Clamor realized he could.

Now he can't. Not anymore.

...]

Noah... before we do that. [he wants to just ignore it, to go back to their happy little tour, but. they're partners, aren't they?] You said something about a gorinto earlier... when did we visit a gorinto? Those are the little rock monuments they set up around the school, right? I don't remember anything like that happening...

...oh.

[Oh, that's going to be hard to explain. Noah looks guilty for a moment, like maybe he shouldn't have brought it up, but at some point it was going to come up anyway. If not through him, Sidney might have, since they talked after he and Nene left...

Noah makes his way back to his dorm room and shuts the door, and if Senku comes back later, or if Nene comes back from class and joins him, then they can say hi. But for now, Noah lets Clamor know to "give him a sec" while he climbs to the top bunk and flops over onto it, sits up, and holds Clamor so that they're looking each other in the eye.]

I don't know why you wouldn't remember, but... um... there was a gorinto set up for you — the rock pile things. When you put those coins on it, you can talk to the spirit of the person who it belongs to, so... Nene and I talked to you for a bit about what happened. It was a couple weeks ago...

[Noah trails off, looking away, out the nearby window and to the distant image of Clamor's grave marker.]

Nene and I promised we'd get you back there, and we talked a little bit about how you died... Then Lucifer and Sidney came to talk to you when Nene and I left. [And Noah can't imagine how that must have gone down, considering Sidney's been barely holding on by a thread lately — Noah can tell. There's a sinking feeling deep in Noah's stomach when he realises that Clamor doesn't know what happened after he died, that he must be under the impression that it was lights out and that was it — but he bothers to ask anyway, just in case.] You don't... know what happened in the month after you died, do you?

[He doesn't remember any of that... and he can't help but feel just a little bitter about it. He would remember it—it would be the only good thing from that time that he could possibly have to remember, and yet—]

Are you sure? I don't remember talking to anyone. [he doesn't think Noah is lying, but he has doubts. he'll feel guilty again in a moment, but right now] I don't think I could've even if I wanted to... Who did you talk to? It couldn't have been me.

What happened? What did I miss?

I... We thought it was you. I'll... ask Nene later... sh-she might know better. Uh...

[Since he doesn't have answers for that — and how could he, with the absolutely nothing people tell him about this place, with the nothing he's ever informed about either to keep a secret from the violent child or because it's clearly not valuable for him to know (yes Noah is bitter about this) — he has no choice but to move on, to an inevitably harder topic.]

You... died on the 25th of August, according to what "you" told us at the gorinto, but... more to the point...

[Somehow, Noah gets paler than he is. He looks ill for a moment, holding the side of his head in his hand as if a dizzy spell has overtaken him. No matter what he does, he's unable to suppress the memories flashing behind his eyes; like he normally does, he grits his teeth and deals with it.]

Someone... and I don't know who, but someone... uh... t-took over your body, and had been impersonating you all month. And... no one saw through it... I sure didn't.

[He takes a second after that, trying not to shut down. There's more to explain, naturally, but Noah can already feel his eyes glazing over and the bedroom around them blurring.]

That... that date sounds right, yes. [His memories are... a bit muddled, honestly, and he's already starting to have doubts. But he remembers it was August, late August, before the dorms were available and while people were still going missing. A late night visit by himself, a stabbing pain in his skull...

It's the part that comes after that really grabs his attention, though, his pupil widening.]

Someone impersonated me? In my own body?! [... oh no. oh Noah.]

What happened to them? Are they— [ok he kinda doubts they're still around considering Noah's vengeance streak, maybe not that] What were they trying to do...? No one else was hurt, were they? Are you okay?

Noah... if my body was taken over, that's not your fault. That isn't something you should even have to worry about! I was the one who left by myself that night... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so careless. If something happened to you because of me, I—

[he's starting to babble, caught up in his own self-blame. it couldn't have been his fault, but it feels like his fault, and with no breath to run out of his thoughts can just keep going]

[Noah wishes it had been him to strike the killing blow. He wishes, because it would have given him some form of catharsis or closure or something but instead he doesn't have that and he never will. Every time he's reminded of it, cold numbness metamorphoses into rage hotter than the sun itself, wanting to burn away everything and everyone solely so that he can take one shot at the guy.

But Noah doesn't even have a name for their unexpected guest. Unless he wants to try to take every soul out of the tree and torment them all individually, he's out of luck for his petty revenge plot.

It sucks. He hates it, simply put. So many nights spent thinking of just how he'd torture this motherfucker only to be reminded that it's an empty hope—]

Amami killed them. [He tries to mask the fury in his voice at that, for Clamor's sake. It doesn't work.] After they burned someone alive and threw them into the pool, and after they apparently tried to take out some more people. They tried to frame the cultists for it all.

[Noah quite nearly did go behead some cultists, but luckily he realised through the haze of agony and ire that the evidence wasn't adding up. He might have taken them all out otherwise.

As for what happened to him... haha. Clamor usually senses if the Moonstone goes off, but Noah has to wonder if he knows. Perhaps Clamor can see, from this angle, the thin self-inflicted scars trailing at random up Noah's arms from all those times he went to the void to decompress.]

When you were... gone, could you still feel the Moonstone rewinding time?

[Guilt passes over his features as he finally bothers to look Clamor in the eye.]

[imagine how much worse they'd both feel right now if Noah had gone and beheaded some cultists... at least they're spared that bit of bonus trauma. not that it makes him feel much better, knowing it could've happened.

It's a lot to take in—wanting to ask for more details, who was killed, who else he needs to apologize to—but Noah is already moving on to something else, which at first feels completely unrelated to the previous topic. His eye narrows, confusion throwing him off.]

The moonstone? I could barely tell how much time had passed at all, let alone— [wait] ... Noah, why would the moonstone be rewinding?! Did I—

[is this his fault? was it the person in his body, did Noah get hurt because of him? was it something else? even if it wasn't him, he... if he'd been there, then maybe...]

[... what does it even matter, now? there's nothing he can do about it. he already failed.

he falls quiet for a moment, then... it's all too easy, just like he remembers it.]

... I'm sorry, Noah. [the anxiety in his voice is gone, leaving behind only a calm resignation.] You don't have to tell me everything right now. We can do this later, when you're ready.

You said something about a pool, right? I can't swim like this, but it's been awhile since I've seen anything deeper than a bathroom sink. I want to see it.

[he still feels like a mess... but that's not Noah's fault. he just has to bear it as best he can, and maybe the feeling will go away on its own.]

[No, no, no, he hates that resigned tone, how chilly and dead it sounds — he knows without a doubt that Clamor is still upset, but it's when he deigns to hide it that somehow everything feels worse. Somehow, Noah thinks, like hiding emotions has ever helped anybody here — like how they constantly have to play a game of badminton with their feelings until they're both miserable.

Where did May go? It feels like an eternity ago that they hugged at the bottom of the clocktower staircase — where the staircase used to be, anyway, now an elevator desecrated with corpse after corpse — and had an actual heart-to-heart. Noah won't ask if Clamor doesn't trust him enough to talk anymore; it'll only make things worse.]

You didn't do anything. I did it.

[But if Clamor couldn't feel time rewinding, then Noah doesn't have to say anything, right? Which is, frankly, the opposite of productive and the opposite of what he wants — at the end of the day, if they could just be damn honest with each other, he'd consider that a victory, even if they're both crying themselves to sleep every night (as if Clamor's capable of that in the first place). But no. No, neither of them seem capable of even that much, and Noah thinks bitterly that they never will be, going as they are now.

Maybe Clamor will ask about his comments later. For now, Noah climbs down from the top bunk, much as he doesn't want to be anywhere near the pool building. All he wanted that morning was to swim before classes, and then Clamor showed up dead that morning...]

It's this way. [Kill him. Kill him, kill him—] I don't go to it anymore.

[Noah trudges through the dorms, across the courtyard and toward the pool building, and when he pushes the doors open he's immediately hit with a flashback so hard that he quite nearly drops Clamor to the ground. Somehow, somehow that doesn't happen, and when he snaps out of the initial flood of memories thirty seconds later, he manages to take another step and stand near the shallower end of the pool.]

The far end of the pool goes down... I don't know how far down. It's salty down there. [There's your saltwater source, bud.] I swam maybe thirty feet down before I had to come back up. The burned body that the others found in the pool looked like something had eaten it. And...

[Does he say anything... Clamor's just going to feel worse if he knows he asked Noah to come show him where he found his waterlogged corpse that morning. But... secrets aren't meant to be kept between friends, so it's a risk he'll have to take. He's shivering, he already freaked out when they entered, it's a little too late to try to pretend nothing's wrong.]

It's where I found you, too. A week after that.

[Part of him knows Noah can probably tell... they've been travelling together for long enough, it's no different from how he knows Noah's own habits of deflection and self-blame. But his resolve doesn't change, even when he hears the disconcerted emotion in Noah's voice. Please, understand that this is an act made in kindness.

Of course, it still doesn't go as planned. He knows that the moment Noah says I don't go to it anymore, when he visibly reacts upon entering the building (Clamor is calling out to him in concern for those thirty seconds, thanks), and if that wasn't obvious enough Noah is kind enough to spell it out for him. How was he supposed to know that's where the body—his body—was found?]

Noah— [sternly, maybe he'll be happy to hear some of the emotion return to Clamor's voice, but he is not pleased] that's enough. We don't have to go here if you don't want to! You could've told me that later without showing it to me, we don't have to do this right now. I can't swim anyway! So if it's making you upset, we can go somewhere else. Please, Noah...

[he knows he's being a hypocrit, but he's frustrated. maybe he needs this, too. maybe... he just wants to have a nice day and pretend everything is fine and normal like before. maybe he doesn't want to spend his first day back watching Noah have panic attacks and cry while he's helpless to do anything about it.]

... It's not that I don't trust you. There's a lot to catch up on, and I'll tell you everything I can remember, but you... no, we've both been through a lot since I left. Is this really how you want to spend our first day back together?

If you really want to talk about this now... we can talk about it. But it's you that I missed while I was gone. I'm happy just to hear your voice again. We can talk about anything you want, we don't have to rush things.

I don't know when I'd rather do it! Today or tomorrow or whenever, either way, it's going to hurt both of us in the end, so why not just get it out of the way?!

[He doesn't mean to lash out, but by the El it's too late to take it back, and Noah stops for a moment to hold his head in his hand as if afflicted by a headache. That's not it at all, though, more like if he doesn't dig his palms into his eyes he might start crying again, and that's the last thing he wants to do right at this moment.

Staying in the pool house is the worst idea possible, though, and he's swift to march out, to push open the doors leading to the sunlit courtyard and just sit down against the wall nearby to breathe for a second. Too many heightened emotions right now, too many thoughts in his head, too many loud sounds that aren't actually there and he knows they're not — but he can damn well still hear the shocked gasps of everyone entering the pool that morning and he can still see the way Shuichi looked at him as he handed the spellbook over and he can still feel Sidney's arms wrapped around him while Noah screamed and sobbed.

He's at least coherent enough now to talk through the cacophony only he can hear.]

Sorry, I... I didn't mean to yell at you. Sorry... I'm glad you're back, and I'm glad that we're together again, and I'm just... sorry. I'm happy, I just...

[If he broaches the topic of how many times he tried to die last month, gets it out of the way now, they can recover from it eventually at the risk of ruining their entire first day together. In Noah's mind, if he chooses not to say anything now, he might not ever try, and maybe that's just fine — maybe Clamor can live in ignorant bliss and not know just how many times Noah plunged that knife into his throat.

He's torn, and maybe it shows when he finally brings his head up from his palm and looks off across the courtyard. Wanting to say something versus not wanting to even get started, because wouldn't it be easier?

But what if someone who caught him and his myriad attempts brings it up to Clamor in private? What if Sidney brings up their little grief counselling soiree, what if Stephanie says something, what if Komaeda blabs— uuuugh.]

Sorry, [for the hundredth time,] do you wanna come see where I found your... uh... sickle body? It's kind of funny.

[Quick change the topic]

[On the afternoon of 10/10, Noah decides to ~~drop Clamor off at daycare~~ finally let someone else have a turn on the sickle, and that person happens to be Sidney, because Noah cannot exist in the same area as Lucifer for long or it will create a divide by 0 error and Yogen will end. Anyway, Sidney is now holding Noah's dad (sickle).]

Don't drop him. And— don't let anyone steal him. And don't commit violence with him unless he says it's okay. [Pause.] And don't break him. And no soul-ripping spells.

[Literally dropping his dad off at dilfcare.]

Um. If you hug him, be careful with the edges. Don't cut yourself. ...bye. Have fun.

[Exit Noah.]

I'll be fine, Noah! Honestly, you drop me more than anyone else ever has. And who would be using any soul-ripping spells here?! [Did Clamor have this exact sort of conversation not even five minutes ago with Nene, who is on solo Noah Duty for the day? Maybe. They're both just like this.

but anyway, yeah, there's fretting on both sides but eventually Noah exits stage right... it'll probably be good for him, to have a day to himself without Clamor glued to his side. being stuck as a sickle again means falling back into old habits, but he doesn't want that to get in the way of Noah's newfound independence.

... and, well, his own independence. though it's difficult to call it such, when he's a sentient hunk of enchanted metal in Sidney's hand.]

... Well then! What's on the agenda for today?

Gotta be honest, I'm not sure. I just want to have you here.

( hearing clamor's voice, as echoed as it may be, is such an immense relief- he almost wants to cry again, but he doesn't quite let it happen. of course... this isn't what sidney had meant, when he dreamed about holding clamor again. but for now, it's enough. he's there, back again. all they have to do is- is fix whatever they can. )

... I've missed you terribly, Clamor. More than I can say.

[Lucifer has like, a whole moment about this, he's still not sorry about all of the murder though.

That "whole moment" is Lucifer being so fucking thrilled with Clamor's return — however sharp and pointy he is now — that he unknowingly just pops over to his main form, don't worry about it, those wing flutters are flutters of joy.]

Well, it's not the most embraceable form, but I think I can make it work somehow. Welcome back, my love.

[Flutter, flutter.]

I was actually hoping that you would take me up on the offer for a pact. Even in your new form, you technically are a soul, so it should be possible — though, I realise you just got back, and I won't say no if you'd like a break just to catch up. I did miss you, you know.

[yeah he murdered five people about it]

[Clamor's had some time to sort out his thoughts, so now it's back to... whatever the new normal is. Going to class is now even more of a formality since he can't even write on his own, but he still goes through with it as an excuse to spend time with Sidney and Sara. Most of the time he's with Noah, doing whatever Noah happens to be doing and content to simply be there even if he can't participate. His form makes talking to people a bit cumbersome, but there are some exceptions...

Anyway, it's certainly no secret that Clamor is back, even if it might take some explaining to know that he's literally a magic talking sickle now. Aside from wherever Noah happens to be, Clamor can usually be found around class 1-C during school hours, in the library (likely with Noah or someone else holding a book up for him to read, having no hands sucks), or around the dorms during the rare moment where he's allowed to roam semi-freely (Noah is probably close by, don't try to steal him). Lucifer has continued to run the occult club in his absence, but it seems like he's not quite ready to resume his open magic lessons yet, nor has he shown up for any occult club meetings.

FUN FACT: only individuals with natural or totem-granted spirit sight will be able to hear Clamor's voice, unless they are in direct physical contact with his weapon form.]

[ Lets say Sara and Clamor met again...I think she cried a lot when she found out he was alive, and maybe tripped all over herself trying to give a scythe a hug and punch it at the same time. But that could be a tag for another time.

Right now, she's holding a book up for Clamor during a group project in class, where they're ostensibly supposed to be discussing a reading they did last night. She's got a hand pressed against his staff as she tries to adjust the book with her free hand.]

Sorry, can you see it now, Clamor?

[ Fretting over the easy things so they don't have to talk about the big ones...yet. ]

[yeah... it was probably very touching and emotional, like his reunion with the polycule that totally didn't also happen offscreen wheezes

ITS FINE today is for group projects not addressing their problems. Clamor is trying his best to keep himself light and guide Sara into a good angle while also trying not to stab her head with his giant blade... or, like, stab the person sitting behind her. luckily, this is a struggle he's well practised in. no one will die in this thread.]

Can you try holding the book back just a little more? [his shadow is still on the page... ugh who positioned these lights] Or maybe tilting it down slightly...? Sorry, I know it's annoying to deal with—you can read it out loud instead, if you want!

[ She's just an average high school girl, trying to handle large, dangerous weaponry she has no training with. Please, be careful...let Noah give her pointers on scythe form. ]

Right lets see.. [ She does tilt it down about thirty degrees...which makes it pretty hard to see the page herself from where she's sitting unless she leans over till her face its right next to Clamor's big eyeball as they both stare at a history textbook together. ]

It's not annoying...I'm having fun? [ Some oddities with a scythe are preferable to never seeing Clamor again. ] The reading we were supposed to do started here, with the end of the Heian period. Ugh this textbook is super outdated.

Um...you did it right...? I don't mean to nag...but the...the other guy said your history grade wasn't very...

( because clamor never got to see the movies, at one point nene steals the television and vhs player again- this time, wheeling them into her room, across from the bunkbed. noah's been asked to get snacks, while nene helps prop clamor up comfortably... or... well. he can't really feel anything, can he? but at least he might appreciate the pillow separating him and the wall. )

You didn't get to see this- we, um, had a big get-together in the common room, and we all watched these together. and i don't think you have movies back home- so... i thought you might wanna see them. Can you see the tv clearly?

[Occult club magic lessons are on hiatus....... except for Noah and also Natsume, because favouritism. Noah is sitting off to the side practising something on his own today, though, because he can't exactly resume lessons until he figures out where his other favourite student is at.

Natsume also gets full spellbook rights today, because guess who has no thumbs and can't hold a fucking book or turn pages?? Clamor is just going to "stand" on the desk they're using so he can see. It's fine.]

So! I heard you've been reading ahead since I've been gone. I would've left better notes if I knew, but I guess there's no helping it. Noah said you were working on Curtain Call—have you tried any other new spells? Why don't you show me some of your progress?

( Yesss, spellbook rights... Natsume's thumbing at the pages idly, peeking at what Noah's supposed to be learning before he returns to the ones he's learning— )

Oh, well... ( ... ) When your body was posSESSED, the interloper instructed me on how to use fire maGIC.

( Natsume shyly holds his hand out, palm up; calling his magic is easy enough now since he practices it every night, starting out as bright little stars trailing from his fingertips to the center of his palm—

but that's where things go wrong, rolling a 6 and deciding that's good enough for a little disaster. They come together the way they're supposed to, turning a faint yellow before going a bright, too hot blue and exploding in on themselves; Natsume swears and shakes his hand, spellbook tumbling from his lap, but the book, the book is fine. He is... also fine, albeit with a burn the shape of a multi-pointed star in the center of his right hand now. )

...Shit, ( he murmurs again, kneeling to grab the spellbook with his left and resettle it back on his lap. There's tears in the corners of his eyes, but he's not going to cry, even if it hurts like hell. A few gentle brushes... yeah, the book is fine— ) No harm DONE, Master Clamor.

( well

to what's important, or what he perceives as the more important thing for clamor. )

Oh, well that's very impressive— [wait they taught him to do WHAT

It's fine (it's not fine) since whatever he was about to say is interrupted by Natsume making a tiny hand explosion. Clamor floats up from his perch on the desk with a start, leaning in a bit closer to make sure his student is okay—he only relaxes again once he can confirm it's nothing serious, and once Natsume assures him that he's (mostly) unharmed.

there's also something he wants to say about Master Clamor, but. now doesn't seem like the time for that.]

... It's alright. Actually, wasn't it healing magic that I showed you a little of before? Why don't we start by reviewing that? [happy little accidents, can't practise healing spells without a wound to work on] Remember to breathe, and don't try to rush things... your manaflow looks like its improved by a lot, but that also means you have to work on your control. Simple conjurations, even harmless ones, are easy to overload if you're not careful.

[but it's good, in its own way, that Natsume was able to make something blow up in his face. it's a massive improvement from how he remembers their last lessons, back when he'd struggled to even conjure a tiny candle flame... even if it doesn't seem like much to Natsume, Clamor is certainly impressed.

anyway,]

What kind of fire magic did they teach you, exactly? [he is a hell of a lot less impressed with his doppelganger, and he's making no attempt to hide it.] Considering how badly they botched that so-called transfer spell... even if it was taken from my own notes, I wouldn't trust them to instruct on lighting a candle! Advanced fire magic is dangerous, you can seriously hurt yourself with it if you're not using it correctly.

( Happy little accidents...

It's exciting to hear his manaflow's improved, even if that's what he's been focusing on first and foremost, that he knows he's been doing better with because he can feel the difference between now and then.

His hand hurts, but he focuses less on that and more on his breathing: one breath in, one breath out, until the pain is a little more distant in his mind. He lets the magic gather again, thinking about what he wants it to do, the instructions he can almost hear Clamor repeating in his mind.

The nice thing about magic is he's found if the wound is minor enough, it won't leave any scars. He flexes his hand and tilts his head at Clamor's question, rubbing the healed skin with his thumb. )

To call it and send it OFF... Like a fireBALL, though they said I could technically make it whatever shape I wanted it TO. I ended up making fireworks in the sky rather than the fireball gracefully petering out into noTHING, but no one was HURT.

( that time. )

My control was lacking severeLY... I made a fire so large I almost couldn't control it, honestLY. I'm surprised I didn't kill us both then and THERE, though maybe that would've been a blessing if I had; we might have been able to avoid some murders that WAY.

[He gives Amami some time to himself after his return from the exchange trip, but Clamor has had to stew for an entire week on this so like. sorry, late on the 18th he manages to catch sight of Amami passing through the dorms and there is a flying sickle coming at him. You will hold his little handle and you will like it mister.

Noah is probably trailing behind, which is good because this is also about him. As soon as there's enough contact to be heard he gets right to it—]

Rantarou Amami! [yes, he is busting out the full names, that's how you know he's serious] I believe you have some explaining to do! I appreciate you taking care of my doppelganger, but what's this I hear about you moving bodies around?!

( you know, amami's first thought when he sees a sickle flying at him is not that somebody wants to talk. in fact, he's pretty convinced here that noah's changed his mind on who he wants to blame for clamor's death, and maybe amami's gonna be the one paying up after all, y'know? so when clamor gets that "enough contact to be heard," it's probably because amami trying to shield his head from whatever the hell is about to happen to him.

and then he hears clamor's voice, and his attention snaps back to the sickle. )

Clamor!?

( wait, hold on, he knows this — he's heard this.

"I... met him as a sickle, originally."

immediately, he reaches to snatch clamor from out of the air. )

Clamor, is that really you!?

( amami sounds... strikingly relieved, for someone who thought he was about to be joining this man in the tree a few seconds ago. )

[yeah, he'll bap Amami on the head with his handle if he has to, though it's easier to talk once he's being properly held. the sickle rotates around so he can glare at him sternly.]

Oh, it's me alright! And I know exactly what you were up to while I was gone! I can forgive you for not explaining things to everyone immediately, [he knows what Noah is like, that's fair] but let me just make sure I'm understanding this correctly.

You threw my body out a window! Then you dragged it all the way to the pool, dumped it in the water, and didn't tell anyone? You couldn't even put a blanket or a towel or something over it? Leave a note?! We have children here, Amami! Not only that, but you let Noah walk in on this disaster! What if the body had sunk? Is that what you were trying to do? Feed my corpse to the creature in the pool? Whatever you were trying to communicate, desecrating bodies like that is completely unacceptable! How would you feel if someone did that to your body, and let someone you cared about walk in on it without warning?!

There's something you need to say, and I won't leave until I hear it! I don't want to hear any excuses! [friendly reminder that sickles don't have lungs, so all of the above is said in one "breath"]

( all that surprise, and any traces of relief that could've been found in that expression of his, they dissipate the longer clamor goes on. by the time that little rant is done, amami's wondering if he can just put this thing down and not be at risk of violence. real clamor wasn't the violent type, right? he should be good if he does? 'cause what he's not so good at is being scolded, and he's already looking more aside towards a window or something than at the actual sickle he's holding in his hand — with more reluctance by the minute, mind you. please... this is so uncomfortable... )

Sorry?

( is that the right answer? he thinks that's the right answer, so he says it again, with a little more confidence. )

Sorry. I was a little preoccupied, is all — wasn't thinking clearly, and didn't really have the time to linger too long on considering it either. 'Sides, I didn't realize Noah was the type to go for a morning swim either, thought it'd be... ( rika? komaeda? hikaru again, or somebody who can stomach dead bodies? ) Y'know, someone else who came across it. My bad.

[CLOSED] Now you've got a weapon and a companion, all in one!

10/8 FAMBLY REUNION || preemptive cw for trauma discussions, self harm, suicide, etc etc etc...

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

10/10 DILF REUNION + ONE MILF || noah is only here to drop clamor off at dilfcare

no subject

no subject

no subject

10/11~10/31 OTA but mostly for existing CR because this prompt sucks tbh

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

mid-October, magic lessons w\ Natsume

no subject

no subject

no subject

10/18 amami gets yelled at by a magic sickle

this is certainly a way to be welcomed back

crying

this is my new favourite thing i think