(open) break yourself inside out
who: Whoever wants to show up.
what: Nine body pileup, who wants to compile info.
when: 10/7, at least
where: Dorms study hall
warnings: Attempted murder over children's games
[in the afternoon, a message shows up on the forums. is she copying Natsume? utterly, since his organization is why she's thinking about this.]
h.adams
Please try to set aside an hour or so of your time this evening at around 7:30 pm to return to the study hall. I'd like to speak with as many people as possible regarding the recent incident in the school.
-H.A.
[and she won't be replying to anything posted below it.
by the time the hour rolls around, Helena's set herself up in the study hall with the rolling whiteboard she took from the school set up. the markers are a toss up between colors, but the important part is there. she's seated herself by it, and when 7:30 hits, an alarm on her PDA goes off. silencing it, she stands up.]
Thank you for coming. I realize it's another demand on people's time, but given the vast scope of the murders, there's more to be said than unsaid. With it, we had no choice but to split up and find what we could, to do our best at the least to remember and categorize what we saw. Generally speaking, I'd like if we could pool our resources to see if we might draw any parallels between what was where, and if there are any peculiarities to distinguish this or that event.
With that said - [she points behind her at the whiteboard, where Rantarou has been kind enough to write out a list] - if we could try to speak individually, we could write down anything critical shared, so we could look at it from a larger perspective. As well, if something comes up in other days, we could reconvene and add in new information.
As I am unable to do it for you, please allow my dependable transcriber to do so. And a final note before we begin - if anyone becomes overly agitated, I request that you kindly step outside until you can keep your voice to a moderate level. Sound echoes well enough without yelling added to the mix.
Let's begin.
what: Nine body pileup, who wants to compile info.
when: 10/7, at least
where: Dorms study hall
warnings: Attempted murder over children's games
[in the afternoon, a message shows up on the forums. is she copying Natsume? utterly, since his organization is why she's thinking about this.]
h.adams
Please try to set aside an hour or so of your time this evening at around 7:30 pm to return to the study hall. I'd like to speak with as many people as possible regarding the recent incident in the school.
-H.A.
[and she won't be replying to anything posted below it.
by the time the hour rolls around, Helena's set herself up in the study hall with the rolling whiteboard she took from the school set up. the markers are a toss up between colors, but the important part is there. she's seated herself by it, and when 7:30 hits, an alarm on her PDA goes off. silencing it, she stands up.]
Thank you for coming. I realize it's another demand on people's time, but given the vast scope of the murders, there's more to be said than unsaid. With it, we had no choice but to split up and find what we could, to do our best at the least to remember and categorize what we saw. Generally speaking, I'd like if we could pool our resources to see if we might draw any parallels between what was where, and if there are any peculiarities to distinguish this or that event.
With that said - [she points behind her at the whiteboard, where Rantarou has been kind enough to write out a list] - if we could try to speak individually, we could write down anything critical shared, so we could look at it from a larger perspective. As well, if something comes up in other days, we could reconvene and add in new information.
As I am unable to do it for you, please allow my dependable transcriber to do so. And a final note before we begin - if anyone becomes overly agitated, I request that you kindly step outside until you can keep your voice to a moderate level. Sound echoes well enough without yelling added to the mix.
Let's begin.

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so he lets go, physically, and will let komaeda pull away. but that won't stop him from following the other wherever he goes, because subaru has plenty to say. he's had plenty to think about, too, these past few weeks, and it's only because his emotions are high that something clicks and he doesn't know if it's right, but if someone can be the ultimate of a concept like hope, then--]
You ever think, [a frustrated, concerned tone,] maybe your light is the one drawing me?
[subaru doesn't need anything from komaeda. but he wants his company, and he wants to make sure the other is alright, and he wants komaeda to stop putting himself down and maybe the last one is the hardest thing on that list but that won't stop him from wanting it anyway, because he has always wanted the impossible and by god has that never stopped him from trying]
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A worthless, pathetic individual like me have a light? There is nothing to be gained from a worm like me, the only purpose I serve... If I had died there, nothing would have happened to an Ultimate like him... if I didn't exist then...
( there is no light seen because of his damning talent, one that can't even be called "talent" at all, he's just as boring, mediocre, and normal like the common people — talents that can be bend to other ultimate's will, to have control over that power shines a miraculous hope, but his defective own doesn't even listen to him, and all it offers is proving his life is less than he believes it to be. yes, everyone ran to amami, like they should, but there were others who wasted their time with him. )
With a weak talent like mine, it surmises an even weaker hope, nothing seen, all part of your imagination because it was never there! That's why... Ultimates are Symbols of Hope, their radiance, and yet...
( they're falling one by one, he remembers them so well... and perhaps there was symbolism in ultimate hope falling first, no, he shouldn't think of it as a fall... hope can't die no matter what, but an icon that shined so bright, someone that he cherished then — he finds his mechanical hand lifts to his chest, clutching at what must be his heart, but no matter how much he digs, he only irritates the cut that dito left behind, and blood stains his shirt even more. if he could slip his fingers beneath the skin, pull back that flesh, he'd expose himself to subaru that his heart is nothing but poison, and that there is no light inside. it stings however, nowhere near the intense hatred of himself at the sight of people getting in the way, and that reckless behavior of an ultimate coming close.
komaeda would never die hopelessly, so why did amami take that risk? why did they take part? he takes one step back, and then another close to the door of the dormitory, and there his window of opportunity shows itself for him to leave. pushing it open, the cool, crisp air brushes against his skin as he inhales, and he walks towards the school. no matter subaru's protests, he keeps going the same direction, towards the school, and away from them. )
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natsume, following closely but not too close, can at least step quick to catch subaru a little when he's pushed; they aren't so different in height that he can be overwhelmed, thankfully, so he steadies the both of them.
...he doesn't let go of subaru, knowing what the other will do if he does. thinks about it though, watching komaeda start to slip away, and digs his fingers into subaru's arms. )
...Baru-kun. ( soft, thinking. ) We can go after HIM, but he isn't going to lisTEN, so unless you can stay your tongue you should return to the meeTING. That's going to be far more useful to him than you pushing him about THIS.
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and he listens, because even if he doesn't always obey natsume's wishes the sound of his voice catches in his ears like windchimes in summer, and subaru growls in frustration as he slumps.]
... But he's my friend, Natsume. I don't want to leave him alone. Especially not after-- after all that! And he's hurt, too, he needs someone to patch that up, and--
[he's grasping for reasons, all legitimate ones, trying to find the one that'll be the key to unlock the fingers digging into him. his shoulder hurts. it feels like it's beyond bruised, but it's such a footnote when all his head is filled with is catching up with komaeda on the courtyard, throwing himself at the other, and praying to whatever's watching that he pins him down so the other can't escape. so subaru can talk to him, so he can tell him he's none of what he says and everything that subaru himself thinks.]
I won't be able to hold my tongue, [he finally ends up with.] But I...
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he instead takes subaru's into his, closing his eyes briefly before he looks at him. ) You've seen me cast maGIC. Focus it into your HANDS, and imagine what you want it to look LIKE. Decide what you want to ask it to DO, and then use IT.
( his gaze flicks outside, then steadies back on subaru. )
It's small enough that even you should be able to manAGE. But just offer him that MUCH. Nagito-kun is...
( intolerable. insane. in... )
He's diffiCULT, but if you frame it in a way he can acCEPT, then he might have an easier time taking your HELP. ( natsume lets go of subaru's hands, stepping back. he could go with him (maybe he should, just in case) but
but he isn't meant for such things. he'll only get upset and vexed at komaeda, end up letting himself get turned around. it isn't constructive. teaching subaru the basics of what he's learned, the stars that can offer succor and relief and a little minor wound fixage, is. ) I'll return to the little bat's meeting so she doesn't get too worried about US.
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he listens to the instructions, and while he's touched that natsume would seek to give him such information -- he's not a magician. he's never been one, that's sally~ and natsume~ and blue-senpai and sora~n... can someone like him really manage that much? if it's for someone he cares about, then maybe. natsume wouldn't waste his time on someone he didn't think could do the bare minimum, but
doubt still swells in him, a bit, like a wound left untreated. it's evident in his hesitation, closing his fist once natsume lets go. still--
trickstar has always done the impossible, so maybe this is just one more thing. even if it's just this once, maybe he can do that much.]
... Can you apologize for me? It might take a while to find him, but I think I have an idea of where he might've gone. And... thanks. I'll try not to let your lesson go to waste.
[there's a lot more to thank natsume for, of course, but he hopes the hand he squeezes is enough to say so -- and if the other won't stop him any further, he's going to go outside and towards the school. the air is crisp and cool and perfect for stargazing, but the place subaru has in mind is dark and quiet, someplace he'd never normally go if it wasn't for komaeda.
nms let me investigate. he's gonna check the library out of courtesy of "it's private and generally quiet" but is there any sound suggesting generally where komaeda has gone, like footsteps upstairs or anything]
ROUND ONE
> WEST WING LOCKER
> RIGHT SIDE UPSTAIRS
> LIBRARY
>> LISTEN
SUBARU has chosen to LISTEN! New skill acquired!
honing his skill, if he closes his eyes and focuses, he's able to hear his surroundings. outside the library, he'll hear the faint hum of the vending machines, the items inside knocking together, and a knock. the clatter and clank of something on the next floor above where he stands, admitting that something or someone is there. the brief footsteps behind the door of the student store suggesting that someone is (im?)patiently awaiting for someone to arrive, and finally the sound of subaru's shoes squeaking against the floor when he walks.
> WEST WING LOCKER
> RIGHT SIDE UPSTAIRS
> LIBRARY
SUBARU has chosen the LIBRARY, upon entrance he will find that it is the same as always — empty and vacant, aside from the light tear of something ripping in the far back corner. if he decides to wait, the sound will quiet down as it seems whatever is here also has learned someone has entered inside of the library — if he's patient, and stealthy enough the sound will resume. the slow tears once again.
the quiet is no longer a luxury here, and so the position of whatever it is will always be given away. because there are no students that stay after school like everyone else subaru knows, the clues suggest that it has to be someone who roams the school inside.
will he search the far back corner or will he try another location?
im crying
> quietly check the far back corner
just to make sure, because a good detective leaves no stone unturned.]
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nothing's there, but there's a quick shadow of black that appears afterwards if subaru attempts to grab the fallen shreds of paper a Wild BEVERAGE appeared!
a reduction of one heart.
> WEST WING LOCKER
> EAST SIDE UPSTAIRS
> MAKE YOUR OWN MOVE
WHAT THE FUCK this is it
... once he's up there, he'll pause to listen--
but if it was heard on the library side, it was most likely the right, so he'll start by looking into the rooms over there for anything amiss.]
looks to the side
> JUNK MONOKUMA IS ALERTED TO THE SOUND OF FOOTSTEPS!
it's right before subaru can make his way to the bathroom to check the first room, junk monokuma is crawling along the floor — aware of subaru's location as it's one red eye locks onto him. the sound of its body scratches against the ground, leaving behind black marks that's covered by the oil which leaks from its body. subaru should be careful if he happens to leak over the already blank liquid along the ground.
because he has no weapon, and if he's quick to think, komaeda has a hacking gun that works on animatronics specifically — this creature wouldn't be roaming if he had come this way. it's unable to talk, but there's snarling noises, erratic glitching of the main body, and an echoed roar as it reaches for the ground with its paws, pulling itself forward before jumping onto the wall of the hallway, and then clashing onto the floor to come closer to its prey.
> ...
QUICK... CHOOSE YOUR OPTION!
> FIGHT!
> STEALTH!
> FLEE!
no subject
but this thing is made of metal so he is not gonna do that!
instead, he'll brace himself to wait just until junk monokuma leaps again so he can dodge around it, fleeing back towards the way he came and going to the classroom side again!
due to being surprised, i rolled for disadvantage and got an 8. with a dex bonus of +6 due to his idol training and natural talent for improv, it comes to 14. make with that what you will.]
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from above, he can note that the JUNK MONOKUMA is trying to follow SUBARU down where he had disappeared to. skinny, mechanical arms reach out, dragging the (appears to be) half-broken robot forward, and oil remains splattered on the walls, and now drizzling down the stairs. out the corner of subaru's eyes, he can see the black liquid pooling on the final step.
AHAHAHA... QUICK, HIDE!
> NURSE'S OFFICE
> FACULTY OFFICE
> COUNSELOR'S OFFICE
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he knows for sure the counselor's is out, and he isn't sure about faculty, and there's at least something in the nurse's office to use--
but the bathroom is right there, and that damn bear might catch sight of him if he chooses wrong, so he'll duck into the bathroom. what is this question mark.]
no subject
the moment subaru slips into the shelter of the bathroom, junk monokuma has made his way down the steps barely catching the tail-end of the other's attire when it quickly turns its head — red eye glowing within the darkness as it pulls, and desperately grabs the floor, yanking itself forward with oil spilling from behind. whether a robot can become irritated, there's something hostile about it as it leaps forward against the wall, gears turning in it's body as it makes its way closer to the bathroom that subaru has chosen.
it's the first stall he passes, and then the second that doors quickly swipe open, pulling him into the darkness of the enclosed space by the back of his attire — the door shuts, alarming the bear to a specific location — it peers into the bathroom, it's paws leaving behind messy, blank prints.
as for subaru, he's cooped away inside of the stall, his back pressed against someone's chest, and komaeda's index, middle, and ring prosthetic fingers forced into the orifice of the male's mouth to keep him quiet. it's a win/win or lose/lose situation — the idol makes noise, allowing them to be found, or he shuts up with the taste of blood lingering against his tongue from komaeda's own teasing of the cut on his chest. he pulls him back closer until their legs are on both sides of the commode, and from the visible crack at the bottom is where they can see the shadow of something roaming about.
the red glare that glides across the floor to tell which way the monokuma unit is looking, and it flashes to glance inside a stall away from them. )
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it's a different sort of rush than the stage-- it's a rush he hasn't felt since he was five, six, seven eight halfway to nine and it's not a good one by far, head light and heart aching with every pound of the metal clashing against the stairs ground wall, and he passes the first stall because he wants to get to the end and thank god the door covers the sound of his initial yelp (that's quickly silenced by fingers in his mouth, the acidic iron taste of blood invading it immediately)
but the bear is here, there is something not warm, but not quite cold against his back, holding him in one place and while his first instinct was to dig his elbow back, he doesn't make it but a touch before the red glare scans across the floor and he freezes, unable to breathe and saliva pressed out like a serpent's venom in his otherwise dry mouth.
subaru chooses silence. his brain has chosen silence, just like what he and his mom chose years and years and years ago while rocks and worse were thrown through their windows, against their door, while the shouts of abuse rang worse than the glass scattered across the floor, cut further without dripping a single drop of blood onto the ground. squeezes his eyes because it's easier to deal with the dark and panic that way, easier to focus solely on the taste in his mouth and not on the scrape of metal searching for him (them?), and he definitely thinks he may retract his statement to rokuro earlier this week just a little.]
no subject
every little movement from the junk monokuma sounds like it's breaking apart, and the close it moves across the floor, and the mirrors reflecting its every action, the more irritated it must become. leaping onto the sinks, the sound of the faucet turning on from where its bumped the handle, turning it too far that the sound of running water is heard. it overflows, pouring onto the ground to mix with the oil, and underneath the stall's door, they can watch as the water seeps towards their shoes — the liquid shaping around their shoes.
it's unfortunate that junk monokuma won't leave, so they'll have to make it.
komaeda's fingers push down onto subaru's tongue, trying to grab his attention as he slowly slips his fingers out, covered in saliva that he rubs them against the other's cheek to clean them off. he can't see the way the strings of saliva attach within the dark, but with his other hand pressed against the flat of his back, komaeda lifts on foot up, kicking the door open with a loud bang that exposes their location, and the animatronic turns quickly in that direction. in response, komaeda pushes subaru forward into the center of the bathroom to be seen by the creature — )
How hard is it for you to understand... to stay away from me!
( the junk monokuma targets subaru first, red eye locking on until komaeda's voice is too audible, and it turns towards the stall specifically to locate him — it doesn't see him because of the door in the way, but if it lowers its scanner, it can see his feet at the bottom, and his location is also given away. there's a rattle in it's inhumane growl, robotic sounds as it jumps to the top of the first stall, it's long, skinny arms reaching over them to grab onto the next headrail.
...
komaeda would be unlucky to ping its attention. he's not complaining, though, it's here he quickly unbuckles the hacking gun from his waist to toss it over to subaru without any warning — it's always a life or death situation, so he better act fast. )
> YES.
> NO.
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and then they're off him at komaeda's yell, but subaru can't feel a moment's peace when they're targeting the very person he came to find himself-- so to the question, will he catch it?
yes. reflexively, only the way someone who does sports can.
does he know what it does?
no.
but it's gun-shaped enough (? is this a megaphone?) that he's fairly confident in doing what they do in video games and pointing it at junk monokuma and pulling the trigger.]
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i rng'd through what abilities komaeda had on it, and luckily for subaru he has won with link! a multicolored for the gays heart shoots from the gun, and in turn if subaru wasn't ready for the recoil — he gets pushed back just a bit, but it floats up and down, attracted to the monokuma unit, and it's all about targeting, with no friendly fire so...
BUT by rolling a 17, subaru's aim is cherub-like! catching the monokuma in the middle of a jump, the heart connects, causing it to fall right into the stall with komaeda. it's arm outstretched, reaching out to where the ultimate had stabbed himself — where the blood stains his chest. it doesn't move through, komaeda slowly blinking as he stares down at the machine.
as for subaru, there's a small screen on the side of the hacking gun that shows the monokuma's profile:
JUNK TYPE
> UNLOCK
it's image spins in pixelated blue, and there's a jagged checkmark which represents its eye on the side, and limit is written above. small, red pixels slowly begin to consume the blue side, which if subaru notices, he's able to control the monokuma to move by using the screen's touch system. )
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Are you okay, Maddy?
[and it's then he notices the new features on the gun, the slowly consuming red, and he experimently touches the controls; a metal paw is going to hit the toilet, cracking it hairline, and subaru hums in understanding as he works at the screen, having the monokuma make its way out of the stall and to the door... he has no idea where to put it.]
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( the crack is visible, and due to subaru learning controls, the junk monokuma also hits komaeda in the stomach when swinging around to leave from the stall. of course, komaeda places a hand over the area, falling down to his knees with his breath knocked out for him.
...
...
...
the timer is still going down, but luckily for komaeda seeing subaru's concerned look on his face, he speaks... strained: )
Up the... stairs... it'll forget being... ( cough. ) controlled...
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remembers natsume's words instead and decides just to focus on one thing at a time.
it's only once the monokuma is back to patroling the floor above, the scraps of metal and thudding obvious, that subaru'll step inside the stall proper and shut it. holds out the hacking gun, should komaeda be able to stand again. yes its this icon. he's lip pushed out try to work out the "magic" part of what he needs to do.]
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You did what you had to do... you wanted to be a hero right?
( because he keeps chasing, and that's why people chase? to do good so they feel good about themselves? )
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[he may act it, sometimes, but it's never been a desire of his -- save as variety show guest, maybe, a game. but not like this. subaru keeps the rest of his words bitten back for now and breathes out, moving closer and crouching down to tug at komaeda's jacket, his shirt.]
Take it off. Natsume taught me something, so I'm gonna make use of it... hopefully.
[because natsume wouldn't grant him instructions if he couldn't, but he's still a little nervous about it; regardless, regardless, his want to help komaeda is stronger than anything else, so surely it will work out.]
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( that's obviously what he's trying to do, but komaeda's saying it aloud just in case subaru doesn't know what he's doing, or rather... saying. it's not like these bathrooms have heat, and it's not like he's a warm person himself, but to remove his clothes for someone else to see his body proportions which are actually shapely... he'd rather not. )
I don't mind if he taught you how to use your fingers, but you're not an Ultimate... so I'm not interested.
( which means komaeda will smack the other's hands away, but he flinches due to small little pull of his shirt since it still stings around his chest. of course, he offers subaru a warm smile to reassure him in hopes that he'll give up. )
...I'm fine, Akehoshi-kun.
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HEHEHEHEH how i waited for u to sleep b4 posting this
me picking up my phone
me waking up from my 2 hr nap sighing
sits on ur chest!!!!!!
picks you up and throws you to the farthest reach of the world
STOOOOOOOP CLINGS TO
LET GO WORM
wont. ur mine now
STOP THE WYA I M GUNNA LEAVE U!
DONT LEVE ME!!!
STOP I HAVE TO
why u always leving me.... im cryin...
youd cling to my body like you wanted it forever...
i do.....
do you... i feel a little nausues and my hands are shaking, i guess that means you're close by
thats what love is like nms
what is love baby dont hurt me... no more
bro............. u hurt me
?
im hurtin
STOP this was a cute thread