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[sportadork]

WHO: Sportacus + You
WHAT: November Catch-All
WHEN: novems
WHERE: varied
WARNINGS: TBA

Comments

[adsum]

That's a name. [ ...they think ] But that doesn't tell me who you are. Not in any way I can understand.

[sportadork]

Did you eat yesterday?

[adsum]

You can't keep asking me questions. That's not part of the trade. Who are you?

[sportadork]

That is... a maybe complicated question that I would be much more interested in answering if I wasn't very, very concerned right now.

[he sighs, and jumps up to his feet.]

I saw a kitchen when I came in. If you eat, I will answer any question, and I will ask no more. [pause] You do want to get taller, don't you?

[adsum]

[ Complicated... Ah. So he also has an illegal profession, like underage shopkeeping. But the shopkeep does like asking questions without having to answer any in return, and they get food on top of the deal, and they get to grow taller, so this is truly win-win-win. ]

I'm going to, either way... But okay! Let's have dinner! Do you know how to make kenchinjiru?

[sportadork]

I can't cook a thing! My ship has always cooked for me. [not that he. eats actually cooked food. but she mixes up a mean smoothie.] But, I believe I can make sandwiches without burning the dorms down.

[completely unclear if that is a joke or just an accurate estimation.]

[adsum]

[ correction: win-lose-lose ]

How do you grow up without being able to cook...? Kenchin is soup! You can't burn soup! I bet even you can make it.

[sportadork]

I never needed to learn! [shrugs, laughing, which covers up the pause] Everything else I was learning seemed more important!

But, I am a quick study! Teach me to cook your soup, and I will teach you something later.

[adsum]

[ They don't see how being able to predict ages from people's teeth is more important than learning how to cook, but okay. ]

Okay! Let's go!

[ They're going to take his hand so he can't run off, and march him over to the kitchen, where they're going to make soup and get answers. ]

We're going to need kelp and mushrooms and tofu and daikon and taro and gobo and lotus root and sweet potatoes and— do you like carrots? we don't have to put carrots, we can have extra daikon instead.

[sportadork]

They're my second favorite vegetable! [don't ask him to name the entire list it's incredibly long] Radishes are good, too, though. That's a kind of radish, isn't it?

[pauses, laughs] Wait, no more questions! Sorry!

[adsum]

Yeah, they're radishes! We'll have them instead of carrots.

[ He didn't take the bait, so they'll just take it for him ]

What's your favorite vegetable? You have to answer me, since I answered yours.

[sportadork]

Turnips! [grins] I hope all your questions are that easy!

[adsum]

Turnips...

[ ... ]

The little red peppery kind?

[sportadork]

No, they're purple, mostly. [...] You might be thinking of radishes instead!

[but then. what... what did they mean when they said radishes.... before.......]

[adsum]

No, radishes are white and long.

[ ... ]

[sportadork]

[...]

We are thinking of different radishes. Many plants look differently in different parts of the world!

[see everyone can be right]

[adsum]

Hm.

[ The rest of the world is wrong. ]

Well, we'll only be able to use what we have in stock, so no carrots or turnips. Are you good with a knife?

[sportadork]

Well, I've never used one before, but it doesn't look very hard! [please don't give him a knife we will go to the void]

[adsum]

Okay.

[ okokok ]

You're in charge of the spoon! You have to keep stirring the pot so nothing sticks— think you can handle that? It's a suuuuuper important job! The most important one!

[sportadork]

[takes a spoon with all the gravity and solemnity the situation clearly requires.]

I think I can do that! [though honestly he's already spinning it around his fingers like a pen]

[adsum]

[ Their poor soup is going to go flying everywhere, they can see it already.

Sportacus can stir under direct supervision and if Keigo has to place their hand over his and guide him through how to do it, so be it. First, though, is gathering ingredients. Naturally, Sportacus is employed to get things off the high shelves, and the whole cooking process I'm not going to write out is cutting up vegetables and throwing them in stock and isn't so much a recipe as much as it is "I like daikon and lotus root so we're going to put extra daikon and lotus root and no carrots" ]

[sportadork]

[the soup will escape the process unscathed. however, he does no less than four separate and wholly unnecessary acrobatic stunts during the most simple of tasks.]

[adsum]

[ WHY

Keigo probably yelped and waved the knife in their hand at him to stop that, find some kitchen etiquette ]

[sportadork]

[he listens because he is Good, managing to stand still for approximately two minutes before he starts doing wall pushups against the counter.]

[adsum]

[ Oh my god ]

You're just like Subaru.