Who: B.B. Hood and friends (and you?!) What: pretty late catch-all, listen, don't worry bout it When: Post field-trip - End of Feb Where: Here and There
( the closet. he's going to start walking over to the stairs now, shoving his things back in his pockets, though he pauses to make sure they'll follow. doesn't really want to gossip about subaru right outside the door, y'know? but yeah, also, that is what the survival club was for. amami also slept in the tent for a month straight in whatever that month the courtyard opened up in was.
if they let him get enough distance from the room. )
It's something like that, yeah. You remember what I told you before— about my wish? It's his idea on how to deal with that.
[ alright, she's gonna make sure the door is closed and then follow. She's more here to ensure that they head to the right place, as she tilts her head.
Sorry, focused on Amami and making sure he doesn't bolt straight away. ]
[ Bonnie is the cutest guard dog, and could probably tackle both Amami and Sara to the ground without issue, so Sara is fine following Amami further away. ]
He's my friend too. Amami-san, if its that bad, I'm not sure what secrecy serves...
[ Bad enough that Amami says no, but Subaru wants it enough that he's mad that someone is disagreeing? ]
I know Tenshu's situation weighs on everyone [ A glance at Bonnie, hoping she'll understand not to bring up any questions right now. ] But I'm frustrated both of you never think to ask for help. There are so many people who care in this school. Hiding in secrets is what led to todays situation.
( he knows why he's being interrogated right now, and he really doesn't want this to turn to them. heaves a sigh, runs a hand through his hair. seriously, at this point... he kind of wishes the case would be dropped. that they could all just move on already. )
I'm not "bringing" them into this, Amami-san. They are already here and nothing I do or say is going to change it. I just can't continue to turn a blind eye and trust the both of you to figure things out.
[ Amami means well, but what kind of friend would she be if she just...didn't care enough to ask? She could trust in Subaru and Amami to work on a solution, but if they can't even get along, then Sara can't maintain that faith!
She gives a slight nod to Bonnie. She probably owes the younger girl a slight explination later, but right now she's right. What matters is Amami explains honestly. ]
( there's a hint of disbelief in his tone as he stops and turns to meet her eyes. )
Three people are dead, and you want to, what, give me relationship counseling because Akehoshi-kun and I had a disagreement? Is that really what's important right now?
( he gives a short, harsh sigh, hands on his hips. obviously, this isn't the direction he wanted things to go in, but he'll glance to bonnie with a dismissive wave of his hand. )
All of this. Any of it. Why don't you take a guess?
It's all important! I'm not going to let you dismiss my feelings like this!
[ They didn't just disagree, they got stabbed. Three people didn't just die randomly, their deaths were plotted out in another web of secrets Sara can't see. How can she uncover one and ignore the other? ]
I just want you to talk to me...talk to anyone. Say it to Noah or Meng Yao, I don't care! "All of this" can't be kept quiet.
( carnivals with less clowns. that's certainly a way to put it, he'll give her that. )
It's not like I didn't try.
( but when you bring up the subject and have the very possibility it's happened shot down, it doesn't exactly inspire confidence in the idea of trying again. and of course she wouldn't get that; she's sara, not amami. and there's never been anyone outside of himself who's understood that he's had no choice but to do the things he's done in his life... and in his death, he supposes. )
"Something to do with it," though... Not exactly how I'd put it.
[ Getting so close and yet not feeling close at all's irritating to her-- what's this guy's deal? Although, really she knows already. They've all been so damn sly about the whole thing, no reason not to keep that up with just them. ]
Maybe not you directly. I mean-- they really wanted you to get that wish. You thought it was a bad plan but someone didn't get the memo. Well? Hotter or colder?
[ She shakes her head at Bonnie...because Amami takes stab wounds like its nothing, so roughing him up won't do much. No matter how gratifying it might be to shake him down, like his secrets could be rattled like so much junk out of his pockets. ]
What were you trying to do? Get a wish, stop Subaru, talk to someone? We can't know, unless you say something. We can't move forward unless you work with us.
Colder. Who said there was anyone else involved? ( not him, that's for sure. and to sara: ) Does this not count as working with you?
( it's a chance. an opportunity. even if amami isn't willing to budge on certain aspects, it's clear that there's something he's willing to give on if they ask the right questions. )
... Even if I went into it, you wouldn't understand. It'd be no different from Akehoshi-kun, so you may as well focus on what really matters here.
[ Because she's gonna club this guy in the back of the head soon, and that'll just cause more problems. So she's willing to slow down a bit so Sara can make it between her and Amami. ]
Anyway~ if nobody else was involved, then that's interesting enough to me. It sounds like you don't think that highly of Miss Chidouin if you don't think she'd get what's rolling around in your head.
[ Switch...wait, oh no! Don't loose your temper and give into his stab-able aura! She's starting to understand why Hiro did his thing Sara grabs Bonnie gently by the shoulders and takes a few steps back...here! Stand here, okay? No hitting! ]
You don't need to defend me. [ She whispers while Amami is still kind of out of earshot. ] It's fine! You're doing really well.
[ She takes a few steps away then, looking back towards Amami. ]
Go into it. I'm not going to leave you alone till I get an answer I can believe in. I'm saying that because we're friends. It is important, Amami-san!
( it's not his fault if she doesn't understand. it's exactly like he said: he tried to express these things. would have said something in their first questioning, if she'd bothered to push. was trying to admit his reason in the infirmary too, but she'd turned a blind eye. why is it his fault if she doesn't make that effort? he digs his metaphorical heels in. )
If she didn't understand it on her own by now, then I don't think she will, no. It was a risk I was willing to take because failure means a lot worse than what I was willing to do to avoid it.
( and to sara: )
The answer you can believe in is exactly what you thought it was. You know what the stakes are.
( there's a momentary pause to let the words sink in before he continues. just to make sure he's perfectly clear on this. )
...And why I don't want the reason to be thrown around for everyone to know, especially after the incident with Arisu-kun.
( consider it a plea deal of sorts. she cares as much as he does, right? she should know why it's important. )
[ ...She'd thought a lot of things, back and forth. It could be you, it could be them, it could be...it could have been a lot of things. This investigation has been one giant game of trust, all the evidence pointing at friends. Who do you choose to believe in? How can you doubt, when others are kind? Can you think for yourself, when all you want to do is believe in the people you care about?
Slowly, Sara's hand moves towards her pocket, twists around his wishlist from Christmas. Back then, this was all she had enough to launch an assult to try and find something. She couldn't even prove it...everyone had said she was wrong. But later, Amami said he really had wanted Maya's contract, he'd even wanted it for the same reasons Sara guessed. She just hadn't paid attention, too worried about the revelation from Keigo. Her heart back then...hadn't been willing to doubt that admission. She'd wanted to believe in him and Subaru... ]
Shouldn't you...
[ Shouldn't you shouldn't you shouldn't you... She wasn't Saihara, or Hinata-san, or even Komeada! She wasn't a detective. She'd been a dumb first year with a guess, and she'd wanted to believe in everyone's goodwill for once! Be optimistic! She'd wanted to be wrong!
Her feet take her the last few steps. She doesn't even realized she'd wound her arm up before her fist slammed into his face. So much for that newfound desire for pacifism, but punching was allowed. ]
Think of that before, you BASTARD!!
[ That's all she has in her before Sara crumples, burying her face in her hands with a strangled cry.
[ Bonnie wasn't necessarily thinking too much about whether or not she was doing well, but more for the idea of letting Sara do her own thing momentarily. As easy as this would be to solve with violence-- holding him back up again, maybe this time out of the window, she had made a deal to bring whoever she could that was involved in the murders back over to Nao.
After all, she didn't know Amami that well. Hell, to her, any one of them could've still done it if they had a will made of iron. It didn't help that there were clearly those who wanted to believe in him more than anything else, to the point where they blindly defended him once the accusation came out.
Those are the most dangerous people. Those who have a wall set up before you can even get close. ]
So then--
[ She doesn't have too much time to respond. Having taken a moment to think on what this guy was seemingly confessing to, she paused and focused right as Sara threw her punch, stepping back in surprise. ]
Whoa! The hell--
[ B.B. nearly topples over at the sudden surprise, marching over once Sara crumples. Gosh, hell of a shot. ]
Goodness! And I thought I was ready to clobber him.
( she steps forward, and he already knows what's coming, even if he doesn't quite have the time to react. her fist crashes into his face, and he stumbles back, hand coming up to asses the damage. it's tender. it hurts. his eyes sting for a moment, but he blinks the sensation away; this is something he brought on himself, and it's nothing to cry over. telling himself that, it's a little easier for him to straighten up, empty half-smile tugging at his lips. )
Ha, guess I deserved that...
( still conscious, but that one's gonna leave a real mark by the end of the day, isn't it?
...
it's no different than it was with subaru though. he's not mad. he deserved it, after all, and she's only doing this because it's his actions that drove her to it. he pauses for a moment before crouching down. doesn't approach her. doesn't reach out to her. but he kneels down with a pretty sorry look on his face. he's ashamed of himself too, believe him. )
I'm sorry, Chidouin-san. For holding out so long too, I just...
( ... )
I thought if one person might be able to understand, it wouldn't be anyone else... So I couldn't... I couldn't tell anyone.
( and believe him, he's been trying. testing. seeing who might be willing to accept it if he did. suggesting that they need to look at someone they didn't expect, or that the killer felt remorse for what they did. in the end though, he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone else, but if it's sara... at least she does know the stakes. at least she does care about kamo-kun. maybe not enough to kill, maybe not enough to go this far, but even without understanding his "why," isn't it enough to know that the risk of losing someone forever is so much scarier than for now? )
Shut up. Stop smiling at me like that. This is awful. You're awful.
[ Does she know if he's smiling? No, of course not. She's covering her eyes like she can shut out the entire situation. But he's been smiling the entire time, kind smiles, understanding smiles, awkward pained ones. She's not crying, not yet, but her breathing is low and ragged as Sara digs her fingers into her forhead and tries to find any kind of words. An apology? She hit him. ]
Was it fun, playing me for a fool? Bonnie-chan was right. I was right...
[ He treated her like an idiot, like all her thoughts of friendship didn't mean a thing...all that talk of working together... and now he thinks she'd understand. The theory she thought was so cruel, killing someone for a wish to save Keigo-kun. Hadn't it been so odd Amami had shot down involving them at any turn...why was she so dumb.
Clearing her throat helps, even if it makes what she says next sound rougher then she means.]
Shut up! I don't want to hear it! Stupid, selfish boring reasons! Lying people! Why do I have to understand you! Don't put that on me...its never right to kill! Never ever, not even if you think someone else gives you the right!
[ A lot of sorrow and remorse going around, it's making it harder for her to enjoy the fact that she was right after all.
Bonnie steps back to lightly pat Sara's head, trying to be a bit soothing. ]
...
[ Actually, she doesn't know how to proceed on that front. She wants to tell Sara that she's wrong again, that there are good reasons to kill, but now's not the right time for that. Instead, it's over to Amami, where she'll just place her hands on her hips. ]
You didn't wanna get torn limb by limb by everyone who defended you, s'that it?
[ Well. Whatever, on that front. ]
Killing for something you want real badly, mmmm... yeah. I get that. Not so easy when you don't know how badly in the end.
[ She imagines, in the moment that wanting something going into the act isn't the same as wanting it coming out. The concept of guilt isn't really a factor for her, after all. B.B. just knows what it's like for others to want something out of the way that badly to hire her.
Well. Maybe that can be an option for next time. ]
( it breaks his heart to hear the hoarseness in her voice, the stilted, ragged breathing, the way she thinks he'd take any joy at all in something like this. he won't deny her that though, even as he has to hold back a sigh himself, frowning down at the ground as she lectures him. )
You're right, Chidouin-san... You are. I know that.
( it's never been an excuse for his actions, not really, but it's something he's told himself. over and over and over again, because he doesn't like it either. he doesn't want to kill either. but when he's faced with forever or for now, when he's faced with the threat of losing his family, again, and standing by helplessly as they're never given that chance at the life they deserve... then sending somebody back into the next step of that cycle, here or elsewhere, it doesn't seem so bad — at least they're out there somewhere.
it's still not an excuse.
but he looks up to bonnie instead for a moment. he feels guilt, but he doesn't feel regret, exactly. still, he grimaces some at the implication of her words. )
You can tell them it was me if you need to. ( that, he can own up to. ) I just... don't want them to know why.
( he doesn't want a bright red target on kamo-kun's back. )
[ It's good Bonnie speaks up to talk. It gives Sara time to wipe her face on her sleeve and stand up again. Right...they're still here to investigate. She needs to calm down a little, even if this feels like someone punched her in the stomach after all her talk of trust. ]
The mechanics of the murder are the least I want to know. [ Her voice still sounds raspy. ]
You killed Maya Arisu on a hunch..? You keep talking about keeping this secret, but look what secrets got us! You and Subaru doing awful things in the shadows, and nobody can even help you! How is lying again going to help Keigo!?
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[ Remember those dark days before we had laundry or steady meals that weren't from vending machines? Euuuaghh. ]
I think that Amami-san is being evasive...which must mean Subaru's idea is so bad he wants to protect us from hearing it. Is that right?
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( the closet. he's going to start walking over to the stairs now, shoving his things back in his pockets, though he pauses to make sure they'll follow. doesn't really want to gossip about subaru right outside the door, y'know? but yeah, also, that is what the survival club was for. amami also slept in the tent for a month straight in whatever that month the courtyard opened up in was.
if they let him get enough distance from the room. )
It's something like that, yeah. You remember what I told you before— about my wish? It's his idea on how to deal with that.
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[ alright, she's gonna make sure the door is closed and then follow. She's more here to ensure that they head to the right place, as she tilts her head.
Sorry, focused on Amami and making sure he doesn't bolt straight away. ]
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He's my friend too. Amami-san, if its that bad, I'm not sure what secrecy serves...
[ Bad enough that Amami says no, but Subaru wants it enough that he's mad that someone is disagreeing? ]
I know Tenshu's situation weighs on everyone [ A glance at Bonnie, hoping she'll understand not to bring up any questions right now. ] But I'm frustrated both of you never think to ask for help. There are so many people who care in this school. Hiding in secrets is what led to todays situation.
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Don't— don't bring Kamo-kun into this. Please...
( he knows why he's being interrogated right now, and he really doesn't want this to turn to them. heaves a sigh, runs a hand through his hair. seriously, at this point... he kind of wishes the case would be dropped. that they could all just move on already. )
This wasn't... supposed to happen.
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Still, she has to participate, and she goes right ahead to ask-- ]
What wasn't.
[ Stop being cagey already! ]
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[ Amami means well, but what kind of friend would she be if she just...didn't care enough to ask? She could trust in Subaru and Amami to work on a solution, but if they can't even get along, then Sara can't maintain that faith!
She gives a slight nod to Bonnie. She probably owes the younger girl a slight explination later, but right now she's right. What matters is Amami explains honestly. ]
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( there's a hint of disbelief in his tone as he stops and turns to meet her eyes. )
Three people are dead, and you want to, what, give me relationship counseling because Akehoshi-kun and I had a disagreement? Is that really what's important right now?
( he gives a short, harsh sigh, hands on his hips. obviously, this isn't the direction he wanted things to go in, but he'll glance to bonnie with a dismissive wave of his hand. )
All of this. Any of it. Why don't you take a guess?
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[ Really, she does agree with Amami on this-- did it really matter why they were fighting? That was the problem in the first place!
Sighing, she stuffs down the urge to just straight up shake this guy down again. ]
You telling me that Sara was right about this? You had something to do with it?
[ The mask slips far enough for her to eschew politeness momentarily-- this bastard, after all that?? ]
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[ They didn't just disagree, they got stabbed. Three people didn't just die randomly, their deaths were plotted out in another web of secrets Sara can't see. How can she uncover one and ignore the other? ]
I just want you to talk to me...talk to anyone. Say it to Noah or Meng Yao, I don't care! "All of this" can't be kept quiet.
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It's not like I didn't try.
( but when you bring up the subject and have the very possibility it's happened shot down, it doesn't exactly inspire confidence in the idea of trying again. and of course she wouldn't get that; she's sara, not amami. and there's never been anyone outside of himself who's understood that he's had no choice but to do the things he's done in his life... and in his death, he supposes. )
"Something to do with it," though... Not exactly how I'd put it.
( give it another shot, bonnie. )
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Maybe not you directly. I mean-- they really wanted you to get that wish. You thought it was a bad plan but someone didn't get the memo. Well? Hotter or colder?
[ Tch. Back over to Sara. ]
You sure we can't go back to plan A?
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[ She shakes her head at Bonnie...because Amami takes stab wounds like its nothing, so roughing him up won't do much. No matter how gratifying it might be to shake him down, like his secrets could be rattled like so much junk out of his pockets. ]
What were you trying to do? Get a wish, stop Subaru, talk to someone? We can't know, unless you say something. We can't move forward unless you work with us.
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( it's a chance. an opportunity. even if amami isn't willing to budge on certain aspects, it's clear that there's something he's willing to give on if they ask the right questions. )
... Even if I went into it, you wouldn't understand. It'd be no different from Akehoshi-kun, so you may as well focus on what really matters here.
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[ Because she's gonna club this guy in the back of the head soon, and that'll just cause more problems. So she's willing to slow down a bit so Sara can make it between her and Amami. ]
Anyway~ if nobody else was involved, then that's interesting enough to me. It sounds like you don't think that highly of Miss Chidouin if you don't think she'd get what's rolling around in your head.
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[ Switch...wait, oh no! Don't loose your temper and give into his stab-able aura! She's starting to understand why Hiro did his thing Sara grabs Bonnie gently by the shoulders and takes a few steps back...here! Stand here, okay? No hitting! ]
You don't need to defend me. [ She whispers while Amami is still kind of out of earshot. ] It's fine! You're doing really well.
[ She takes a few steps away then, looking back towards Amami. ]
Go into it. I'm not going to leave you alone till I get an answer I can believe in. I'm saying that because we're friends. It is important, Amami-san!
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If she didn't understand it on her own by now, then I don't think she will, no. It was a risk I was willing to take because failure means a lot worse than what I was willing to do to avoid it.
( and to sara: )
The answer you can believe in is exactly what you thought it was. You know what the stakes are.
( there's a momentary pause to let the words sink in before he continues. just to make sure he's perfectly clear on this. )
...And why I don't want the reason to be thrown around for everyone to know, especially after the incident with Arisu-kun.
( consider it a plea deal of sorts. she cares as much as he does, right? she should know why it's important. )
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[ ...She'd thought a lot of things, back and forth. It could be you, it could be them, it could be...it could have been a lot of things. This investigation has been one giant game of trust, all the evidence pointing at friends. Who do you choose to believe in? How can you doubt, when others are kind? Can you think for yourself, when all you want to do is believe in the people you care about?
Slowly, Sara's hand moves towards her pocket, twists around his wishlist from Christmas. Back then, this was all she had enough to launch an assult to try and find something. She couldn't even prove it...everyone had said she was wrong. But later, Amami said he really had wanted Maya's contract, he'd even wanted it for the same reasons Sara guessed. She just hadn't paid attention, too worried about the revelation from Keigo. Her heart back then...hadn't been willing to doubt that admission. She'd wanted to believe in him and Subaru... ]
Shouldn't you...
[ Shouldn't you shouldn't you shouldn't you... She wasn't Saihara, or Hinata-san, or even Komeada! She wasn't a detective. She'd been a dumb first year with a guess, and she'd wanted to believe in everyone's goodwill for once! Be optimistic! She'd wanted to be wrong!
Her feet take her the last few steps. She doesn't even realized she'd wound her arm up before her fist slammed into his face. So much for that newfound desire for pacifism, but punching was allowed. ]
Think of that before, you BASTARD!!
[ That's all she has in her before Sara crumples, burying her face in her hands with a strangled cry.
Auuugh!!
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After all, she didn't know Amami that well. Hell, to her, any one of them could've still done it if they had a will made of iron. It didn't help that there were clearly those who wanted to believe in him more than anything else, to the point where they blindly defended him once the accusation came out.
Those are the most dangerous people. Those who have a wall set up before you can even get close. ]
So then--
[ She doesn't have too much time to respond. Having taken a moment to think on what this guy was seemingly confessing to, she paused and focused right as Sara threw her punch, stepping back in surprise. ]
Whoa! The hell--
[ B.B. nearly topples over at the sudden surprise, marching over once Sara crumples. Gosh, hell of a shot. ]
Goodness! And I thought I was ready to clobber him.
[ Well, Amami? You still conscious? ]
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Ha, guess I deserved that...
( still conscious, but that one's gonna leave a real mark by the end of the day, isn't it?
...
it's no different than it was with subaru though. he's not mad. he deserved it, after all, and she's only doing this because it's his actions that drove her to it. he pauses for a moment before crouching down. doesn't approach her. doesn't reach out to her. but he kneels down with a pretty sorry look on his face. he's ashamed of himself too, believe him. )
I'm sorry, Chidouin-san. For holding out so long too, I just...
( ... )
I thought if one person might be able to understand, it wouldn't be anyone else... So I couldn't... I couldn't tell anyone.
( and believe him, he's been trying. testing. seeing who might be willing to accept it if he did. suggesting that they need to look at someone they didn't expect, or that the killer felt remorse for what they did. in the end though, he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone else, but if it's sara... at least she does know the stakes. at least she does care about kamo-kun. maybe not enough to kill, maybe not enough to go this far, but even without understanding his "why," isn't it enough to know that the risk of losing someone forever is so much scarier than for now? )
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[ Does she know if he's smiling? No, of course not. She's covering her eyes like she can shut out the entire situation. But he's been smiling the entire time, kind smiles, understanding smiles, awkward pained ones. She's not crying, not yet, but her breathing is low and ragged as Sara digs her fingers into her forhead and tries to find any kind of words. An apology? She hit him. ]
Was it fun, playing me for a fool? Bonnie-chan was right. I was right...
[ He treated her like an idiot, like all her thoughts of friendship didn't mean a thing...all that talk of working together... and now he thinks she'd understand. The theory she thought was so cruel, killing someone for a wish to save Keigo-kun. Hadn't it been so odd Amami had shot down involving them at any turn...why was she so dumb.
Clearing her throat helps, even if it makes what she says next sound rougher then she means.]
Shut up! I don't want to hear it! Stupid, selfish boring reasons! Lying people! Why do I have to understand you! Don't put that on me...its never right to kill! Never ever, not even if you think someone else gives you the right!
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Bonnie steps back to lightly pat Sara's head, trying to be a bit soothing. ]
...
[ Actually, she doesn't know how to proceed on that front. She wants to tell Sara that she's wrong again, that there are good reasons to kill, but now's not the right time for that. Instead, it's over to Amami, where she'll just place her hands on her hips. ]
You didn't wanna get torn limb by limb by everyone who defended you, s'that it?
[ Well. Whatever, on that front. ]
Killing for something you want real badly, mmmm... yeah. I get that. Not so easy when you don't know how badly in the end.
[ She imagines, in the moment that wanting something going into the act isn't the same as wanting it coming out. The concept of guilt isn't really a factor for her, after all. B.B. just knows what it's like for others to want something out of the way that badly to hire her.
Well. Maybe that can be an option for next time. ]
So... you're trying to keep this quiet, then?
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You're right, Chidouin-san... You are. I know that.
( it's never been an excuse for his actions, not really, but it's something he's told himself. over and over and over again, because he doesn't like it either. he doesn't want to kill either. but when he's faced with forever or for now, when he's faced with the threat of losing his family, again, and standing by helplessly as they're never given that chance at the life they deserve... then sending somebody back into the next step of that cycle, here or elsewhere, it doesn't seem so bad — at least they're out there somewhere.
it's still not an excuse.
but he looks up to bonnie instead for a moment. he feels guilt, but he doesn't feel regret, exactly. still, he grimaces some at the implication of her words. )
You can tell them it was me if you need to. ( that, he can own up to. ) I just... don't want them to know why.
( he doesn't want a bright red target on kamo-kun's back. )
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[ He has his reasons, and it sounds like that's something more for Sara to dig into.
Naturally though, she does crouch down, hands on her chin. ]
What I am curious about is... how the heck did you pull any of this off? You don't look like you're super strong or anything.
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The mechanics of the murder are the least I want to know. [ Her voice still sounds raspy. ]
You killed Maya Arisu on a hunch..? You keep talking about keeping this secret, but look what secrets got us! You and Subaru doing awful things in the shadows, and nobody can even help you! How is lying again going to help Keigo!?
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