[ Ranger has been distancing himself from the participants while spending more time with his fellow Floormaster. Amami, Komaeda, Midori - those were the only three he felt he could lean on, and one is gone now. It seems that the participants would rather not see his face now, and others were grieving or could be presumed dead. But time waits for no one, and his is precious.
He's working on Safalin's machine now, working through various settings. In all honesty, he should've moved the damn thing when it first showed up, but it's enough of an eyesore that he hadn't wanted it in his living quarters. But he's getting ready to move it now. Midori doesn't need it to destroy people's memories, and somebody's going to melt their brain with it if he leaves it for too long. Besides, it's ASUNARO technology. That shouldn't be left accessible.
He must be working on multiple things at once, because the arcade machine has likewise been pulled out and the back taken off. That's next on his list.
He happens to catch sight of Sara passing by. ]
You mind giving me a hand with this?
[ He pats the top of the chair the device is stationed on as he says this. ]
[ It hasn't even been a week since the event but every night Sara has spent since the 29th has been restless. By the time she stumbles into Subaru's room one evening, she looks near listless, holding a mug of cocoa as she rubs a hand through her messy hair. No...she's not sharing! ]
[ It's raining again today, hard black drops occasionally uplit by lightening. Sara is staring out the 1-C window when Alice comes, in, and doesn't seem to hear him approach. Too lost in thought. ]
[ Sara's been...testy with Ranger lately but its not like she wants to be rude enough to ditch him when he needs a hand. She gives the pile of mechanical guts a look of slight disgust for a moment, before she she puts her hands on the back of the chair. ]
Er...where do you need it, Ranger-san?
[ The return to formality is palpable. She might be a little mad, believe it or not. Not for any good reason...its Ranger's own fault for hanging out with a bunch of petty teens! ]
[he sits in the middle of the room, fiddling with something in his hands, and she can see it's a polaroid camera when he turns at the sound of his name, eyes bright in the sense that he's aware than... happy or anything.
why would he be.
there's a distinct lack of a bunkbed. of many of his suncatchers. of any identifying features that would signal that a certain fortune-teller would have ever called this home. his boyfriend and... amami were dead, and he thinks about the people who've invaded the space they once laid in as if they were just pests waiting for a chance to move in.
subaru knows it isn't like that. rationally. but it still puts a poor taste in his mouth.]
Sure. [sara's still important to him. she's kind and headstrong, she's got direction and feet to take her there. he wants to follow.] Sorry we don't have much to sit on, but make yourself at home.
[close the door, goes the unspoken request.]
his male living space...where is a womans (natsumes) touch
[ Where...are all the decorations? Sara pauses at the door, looking up and around for any place they might be hiding. It reminds her of the sudden and violent ransacking she did when Sou kicked her out, taking anything that brought her joy with the petty burning thought that if she liked this, and Sou couldn't have it.
Where is Natsume? Why hasn't Subaru held onto any of Keigo or Amami's things? He was the third of that little trio...now the odd one out. Looking out across the room, Sara finds thinking of anything Amami did a bitter taste...
She doesn't say any of that. Instead, she closes the door behind her and walks till she stands right in front of him, almost close enough their noses touch. There's a weird intensity to her gaze. ]
... [ There are a thousand things she wants to say, but first... ] Are you holding up okay?
bro... hes DIVORCED LEAVE HIM BE!!! DIVORCED AND WIDOWED!!!
he only has the camera, something bound tight in his jacket laying at his side, and a single suncatcher hung high above the skylight outside. subaru has to shake komaeda down for the rest, but he doesn't feel like approaching the other just yet -- not when he feels like that guy'll see right through him, just like he had not a month ago.
...
well, sara does too in a way, and at the question he can feel his heart ache, his stomach turn and he presses his lips together tight, altogether a more open display of grief and pain as he shakes his head. he laughs, but it's short and shuddering as he tries to regain his bearings.]
What day is it, Sasara? 'Cause it feels like time doesn't exist anymore. [too fast, too slow, its presence just
gone, from his life. like so many others. he steps forward to hug her, pressing his face into her shoulder. please, please.] I know I'm like, not the only one this hit, 'cause you don't look so good either, but it feels like a rug got pulled right from under me.
[in so many ways, that only his current roommates even know.]
[ A meeting to discuss something important... It's likely that it's connected to Midori, the efforts to watch him closely, Alice surmises. Arriving at the classroom (why this location?), it surprises him somewhat to see Sara there alone, her back turned even as he draws closer — with the rain outside, the scene is like a dramatic movie still.
The girl was adamant that Jou Tazuna should avoid Midori entirely, but surely any news would be meant for the others' ears as well? ]
Sara Chidouin? I received your note, and I've come to hear what you intend to discuss.
[ She reaches up over his shoulders to pull him closer into a hug. Even in the snow that night...Sara has never seen Subaru this upset. Her own hands tremble as she grips the back of his shirt, keeping her breathing as even as she can. ]
It's Wednesday... have you been going to class? [ Probably not...she should have checked in sooner. ] I know you're a third year and grades don't really matter anymore, but it's good to have a routine.
[ Pretty words, when Sara has been ditching her studies for long walks in the woods to get away from the memories of the school. She feels the same way, like the world tilted wildly off its axis.]
I don't even know what to say. This all happened so fast... I was wrong about everything Subaru, I'm sorry.
[ For a second her grip is very tight. Her breath shudders, and something mumbled and pained slips out. ]
D-don't leave okay? You... I trust you. I trusted him and he...but you won't leave, right? You'll be here if I come by tomorrow?
[he shakes his head to the first question (no, he hasn't been going, he can't go back to a classroom now full of students and see one taking up amami's spot, mourning and hating him in the same breath for what he knows on a hunch what happened) and then again to her statement (she wasn't wrong to accuse, to try, he loves her for it again and again and again, if she thought something of the newest then he'd testify in a second for her) and he coughs a little, hand coming up to rest against her head.
some things are better said outloud, after all.]
I'll be here every day you want me to be, Sasara. Visit me whenever you want, I'm not leaving. I've got... [breathe] I've got stuff to do still, so I won't be leaving.
[he's directionless, mostly.
he has no star to guide him. no moon to light his path. he doesn't have a bell to follow, or a back to reach out for. but he has someone in his arms right now that needs him as much as he needs her and that's enough, because subaru has always trusted sara and she has never made him think that he should otherwise, a spunky girl who roleplays kdramas with him and in the same instance would call him out, would stand with and against him just to clear the air.
he loves her, he does. it hurts his heart.]
Okay? Do you believe me? I promise, I swear it, I won't leave you if you-- if you don't leave me too.
[ not what he was expecting, rather, he wanted a little more excitement, like sara pushing another individual into add's attack, and then watching that person crumble and break. such a sight might have helped the female understand who she truly is, the chance to come to the real sara, the participant who can slaughter to keep herself alive, and shed crocodile tears to gain the compassion of the crowd.
instead, he has this female in a lump in one of the cots where she needs to get her rest, and she'll know better than to move her arm.
he picks up a cup of tea that maple had brought him, sipping softly in his chair close by where all the drugs are next to him, and she might notice ibuprofen, advil, morphine, and midol. ]
Upon awakening the morning of the 6th, after fitfully passing out like a swooning maiden after having her arm undone and then redone by a close friend...Sara finds herself reflecting upon the many merits of other paths should could have taken in that moment. Like...why didn't she grab Add from behind and throw him... he couldn't hit her or Komeada with a spell like that. Why did she think it was like a gun and if she just pointed it away, it wouldn't hurt anyone? What even was that...did all of her arm get all the way back? Did she leave some of it in some of Add's science magic demensions?
It's not the pain that caused such reflection, Sara honestly doesn't care (she cares a little) but it will pass and morphine exists. No, the real issue is that Akari went on vacation last week and she really should have considered who would be treating her before she went and blew off her own arm stupidly...
So she stares at Midori like you might if a rattlesnake just crawled onto your bed and offered to treat your injuries, but it didn't speak japanese and was still a rattlesnake with poison and not a doctor at all. ]
...Hi...
[ Go away.....................She's got one free hand and shes pulling the covers up. ]
[ he picks up a notice that's written by miss sara, signed on the dotted line, as he got her when she was doped up on morphine, and couldn't make a lick of sense what was going on. how else does anyone stay in the same room as midori for a whole night?
midori sets it down, because he doesn't need sara straining her eyes. ]
You suffered a closed fracture in your entire arm...! Oof. You'll need a cast or a splint. I wanted you to know about that before I worked on you.
[ he's chit-chatting away, watching as she pulls the covers up like a child. he laughs, leaning forward to pat the sheet in hopes that she'll pull it down. he does have amnesia, he is just some guy despite amami not being here. his eyes lock onto the female, a small smile offered as his hands settle down into his lap. ]
Do you have any questions before I start the procedure?
[ Oh god that is her handwriting... not her actual signature...clearly she was too out of it to remember what that was...but surely her handwriting. Did everyone just let her sign off on this and abandon her to get high around this psycho? ...Did they hate her that much???
Maybe Sou's plan about trying to tell everyone about Midori would have had some merit. She pulls the covers down slightly, but its only so she can look towards the door. ]
If the bone doesn't need to be reset, its fine right? [ She can just not move it...no need to get a doctor involved. Or get it infected, yell at Add until he amputates it, she doesn't care. She would like to leave now. ] I'll be going. I don't want you touching me.
[ She tries to swing her legs around to get out of bed and oof...ow...no...bad idea. Maybe its only her arm that got broken in the aftermath, but the rest of her body got rammed by that spell, and its telling her moving is not on the memo. Ow...owowowow...
...If she gets a painkiller! Then she can leave!! She's got one good arm let her try and push Midori's patting hand aside and reach for it. She is a good patient. Doctors love her! ]
Okay... Okay... Sorry its just I know this was so important to you and it all went so wrong...but you're worth more then that. So don't go with them...
[ She sniffles, but its easier to remember that he promised when he's right here to hold her. She can hear his heart beating, a reminder he's alive, as alive as it counts in this place and he's here with her.
Amami can have death and murder and contracts and horrible choices with no good answers. Sara just wants her friend to stay here with her. If Subaru left...if he died or destroyed himself for something bigger, she'd have to deal with it, the way she deals with everything. It wouldn't destroy her, but it would be so empty without him. He's the kind of guy who make the whole world brighter when he's around. There are very few people left who Sara knows love her, who she loves, and who she can choose to trust. ]
If you swear it. I swear it too...but I never go anywhere. I always live when everyone around me just...
[ he's going to push away the table with the drugs, because what in the fuck? he's a licensed medical doctor, why is she trying to take that from him. ]
Nooooope! Sheesh, kids like you really think you're invincible! Sorry, Sara, if you don't get a splint, your bones will grow improper, and you'll look disfigured...
[ they'll take her into one of those freak shows, and she can be their little spider child or something. he's really trying to save her from that fate, and besides, spider sara is not the bad bitch he wants to see! ]
Oh... I forgot to say your body experienced something so truamatic you'll just collapse to the floor, and lay there...
[ think about that sara. ] I guess... If you don't want me touching you. ✨
[ fall on the floor, i dare her right now. with a little chuckle, midori rolls in his rolling chair along with the rolling table full of drugs so that it's a good distance from sara. drug addled patients do be trying anything. ]
Splint or cast? The longer you wait, the quicker your bones are merging horribly!
[ No you don't get it this is perfectly logical to her NOT drugged NOT pain addled brain. If she gets the painkillers and injects them...somehow...she will not feel pain...and she can break that door down. It's easy.
It would be easy...! It's just Midori, that jerk, he rolled the drugs away from where she is, so she can't reach them. It's taking all her focus to keep herself from falling off the bed, but she's Sara freaking Chidouin, and she's not going to fall onto the floor pass out because everything hurts!!! ]
D-don't say it like that! [ Auugh... merging? Is that how bones work...? ] I d-don't know the difference between a splint and a cast! Give me the painkillers!
[ Claws her free hand at him. This is what she can focus on right. Give, give. ]
We should just wrap your whole body considering how you can hardly take care of yourself!
[ how does she not know the difference between a splint and a cast, but a cast would be safer, because a splint would leave exposed flesh, and if she smacks that bitch on something... john claude van DAMN SHE WON'T LIKE IT!!! ]
No. [ he's not going to let her just be drugged for the hell of it. ]
A plaster cast is a mold around your arm, and a splint is just a piece of wood wrapped to your arm to keep it straight.
[ Now she's mad. He's insulting her. Look at her...she's sitting up in bed and everything? This is the face of someone who is not going to pass out after a feeble clawing attempt. ]
Um... a cast? [ She kind of agrees it sounds safer... and people can sign it. Wait...no! But she's not letting him touch her. ] But I don't want...you! You're just going to make it worse!
[ by making it worse, oh no, everyone's doing that for him. they're own chaotic behavior is eating them up from the inside, they can no longer work as a group, there's a push and a pull. he watches them break, fleeting touches shatter, and they retreat; they're monsters among themselves. there's many definitions he could consider them, but only one term stands out: dissonant. they're are not unlike the metaphorical broken bone in sara's arm, and it's not guaranteed that time will heal those wounds whereas she has a set amount of weeks. ]
This group is quite a mess... seeing you all attempt to kill each other.
[ he picks up a bottle of ibuprofen to shake, the soft rattling of capsules heard shoeing there's just not enough to soothe her ache. morphine would do much better. ]
You should be careful when morphine won't ease the pain of a decapitated head. I'll tell you a secret, we have found it so interesting in the days of modern medicine.
[ There's only so long a pain addled teen can stay upright. Sara does not nearly fall on her face...but she she does flop back onto the bed. ]
I meant don't want you switching my toes around... [ Mumbled into the pillow...its always hard to look at Midori when he's being right. She can't summon the usual outrage. ] Or giving me a new hand... Rocket punching isn't cool, Ryoko said I have nice nails...
[ She pushes herself up one handed with a sigh, looking at the rattling pills. Glaring at the bottle might manifest it in her hands. ]
Everyone is scared... We'll get through it if we try. I know you can't beat us. Any of you.
[ it's ibuprofen, your beloved! twisting the cap, he pulls out two as he walks over to sara, staring at her lips as he waits for her to talk again. it's during the end of her little speech that he sticks both into her mouth, she can spit them if she'd like. ]
Miss Sara, I'm a doctor when I reside in this room, why would I go through so much to replace your hands...
[ though, if he could, he'd pout slightly from hearing such a cool move isn't cool at all. it is to him, and he likes it, both his hands can do it! there's a lot of cute little things about him, like how his rattail can curl into a heart, or that it wags when he's happy... she'd never understand. 100% humans stay hating on front runners. ]
If you don't mind me asking, [ he moves to the side with her damaged arm, looking at the work that's already been done. cracking her bones in place means breaking other bones. especially if they want them to heal properly. ]
"Any of you?" Please explain, or they'll become empty words.
[ When will it! Fix her!!! She see's the hand coming, but he moves to fast to stop the pills from slipping onto her mouth. It's hard to stop the raw animal panic that rumbles when she see's Midori reaching from her face. She tries to spit them, but instead in her panic she swallows by accident. Covering her mouth, Sara gives Midori a queasy glare.
He's coming around to her arm... she thinks she gets how dogs at the vet feel. This sucks. ]
Enemies of course. People who want to hurt others or separate people. You didn't do it before, and you won't do it now. [ Is she supposed to still pretend he's amnesiac...? Oh well. ] When times get tough we'll...ugh my throat...dry pills are foul!!! Didn't you have water?
That'll numb the pain for a bit from all your moving, just watching you do so hurts me.
[ midori has never liked pain really, and he doesn't like it now. there's consequences from being in this position, vulnerable, unable to move, and the uncomfortable sensation of what feels like knives digging into the body every so often. at least it's her and not him, but he wouldn't do something so reckless.
crestfallen, he speaks. ]
Who are the enemies? We are doctor and patient, at the moment, I'm your caretaker.
[ oh, yes, hurt people, separate them. that was on the asunaro ready checklist, which he didn't finish marking his finished tasks off on because of well, reasons, and things, and cheaters. it's at her request for water that he stops from checking her arm, drawing his hands back. ]
Suffering from Xerostomia as well... That's no good, here.
[ he'll walk back around her bed, grabbing a cub, and using one of the nurse's bottled waters that she has stored away in the corner because i say so. picking it up, he pours it in, making sure it's enough for a few swallows. too much and he's afraid sara will choke herself as he comes back over to hold it out.
there's no pills hidden in the water. we won't replicate amami and keigo's glory days. ]
You have morphine right over there... [ Where are the good drugs...she barely feels any different. He probably likes how light headed and stupid pain makes her. ] You're an enemy caretaker. I wanna write you up...
[ He's violating the hippocratic...something. She take the water with another grumbling sigh, moving her arm to sip at it and mumbling something about how there's "no way xerostomia is a real word" under her breath.
It's weird...watching him shuffle around out the corner of her eye. All her memories of Midori have him gleefully darting about full of murderous energy... but the way he acts when she's hurt kind of reminds Sara of her dad...
Terrible, terrible comparison! Wrong! She's never going to let him know ever ever!! ]
A-anyway! Fine! Hypothetically if you were my doctor, which you aren't, because I hate you and you won't give me morphine. ....How bad is it? Do I need surgery?
[ She turns to Alice with a flurried half motion of her hands, which awkwardly still once she meets his eyes. ]
You really did arrive right on the dot... Sorry, I'd offer tea but I wanted to do this away from people. [ Her hands move again, to fiddle with the edge of her uniform. ]
You...its about the game... I told you I wasn't being truthful before...I just needed some time to think how to tell you something about how you died.
The pain you're suffering now doesn't warrant that type of prescription.
[ it's just a broken arm, which ibuprofen wouldn't be enough, but yesterday was where she swallowed pill after pill, and also how she slept so long. midori didn't allow any visitors to stir her from her rest, and so he stayed all through the night until she woke back up. he doesn't need to sleep, so it's a good thing she didn't wake up or would have had eyes just staring at her from the corner. ]
I'm Sou Hiyori, I graduated top of my class, and went into medicine.
[ the name doesn't suit him anymore, but to play the game, he has to use it along with his achievements. the younger him would say this so boldly, very proud of himself which midori is; there's no one who specializes in what midori can do. he's one of a kind. his experiences shaped his beliefs and ideals, and asunaro molded them into something specific.
one foot after the other, he comes back to the side where her wounded arm is to look it over. his fingers slowly come down, and gently he touches along the middle to find a reaction.
it'll probably hurt, he's sure. ]
By my knowledge, there can still be severe soft-tissue injury associated with some closed fractures, and so surgery would be needed to ensure that it heals properly. [ if he's being a normal person, then... ] It'd be the best outcome.
[ Bonnie had gotten distracted by other conflicts happening during the meeting, and had been unable to really chat with Sara about everything in the end. She'd agreed to be there in case anything went wrong, and it sounded like stuff went wrong while she wasn't looking.
Plus, really... she did have a few questions herself to ask. Which is why she went searching for Sara, seeking out her room and giving a little knock. ]
[ At that, Alice turns to face Sara, shaking his head to dismiss her apologies. It's not as if she doesn't have plenty on her mind, and he doubts that they could enjoy a cup of tea right now. The game, how he died... That's unexpected — has it really troubled her all these weeks? ]
I'm fully composed... [ He won't faint today! ] Well? What did you wish to tell me?
[ On second thought, should they take a seat? Sara Chidouin still seems uneasy in his company — she's reluctant to look at him, he thinks. Perhaps she saw his dead body, and the discovery must have been rather unpleasant.
Reaching for a nearby chair, Alice pushes it closer to Sara, pulling another one towards himself. ]
[ Well...what if someone gets angry and throws a teacup...? Then there might be sharp objects around. Sara is often paranoid about things like this, these days. ]
Getting right to the heart of it as usual... [ Her sigh is fond, even if her expression is serious. She takes the chair with a nod, leaning it forward as she sits. ]
Alice... back when we were in the killing game...did you ever doubt the group? I mean...your sister died... didn't you resent us?
[ Sara's room is empty except for Akamatsu-san...but if Bonnie asks around, she'll find Sara has been staying at the nurses office while she recovers with her recently exploded arm.
She's mostly been reading a book to keep her mind off the worst doctor ever, but when Bonnie comes in, Sara sits up with a guarded expression before she see's who it is. ]
Oh! Bonnie-chan...? Ow...sorry I sat up to fast. Did you come to visit me?
[how does he tell her that part of him already has, in a way?
...
he doesn't. he won't, not right now, and maybe it's the same mistake as telling amami bad news in lanling over compounding his sorrows right after the other... but subaru cares too much for his friends, even now, to think of hurting them more than they've been hurt -- if they've shown they prefer it one way over the other he'll go with that, but he doesn't want to hurt them more than happens.]
No one's born luckier or unluckier than others, y'know? It's not like, trials or anything like that, 'cause anyone who tells you so is full of shit, [something he'd told rokuro, too, in the same frank way,] but... They make their own decisions, just like you make yours.
[not that keigo had a say in this particular decision; subaru wonders if he should have killed them when they asked, but thinks of past (the last) month they'd been able to spend together and swallows hard, squeezing his eyes shut.
had it been selfish? maybe. but had it been worth it? it felt like it. the phantom of their arms around his neck lay heavy as sara's own, but at least he knows they're safe in god's hands. god wasn't scary, after all; god had been kind, god had told him he wasn't alone, and he thinks of warm hands cupping his cheeks.]
[ Once Sara seats herself in her chair, Alice follows suit, leaning back with his arms folded, one leg across the other. He settles when his chair groans out what may be a warning, though his frame isn't quite as bulky as that of a certain baseball player.
Those questions meet with silence, at first. He thinks back to the very beginning, and to the events hurled at them one after the other. ]
...I said unfair things, didn't I? Not only when I questioned your intentions, Sara Chidouin, but later... Ultimately, all of you were kind people, even in such awful circumstances. In a place like that, where caring for anyone would only—...
[ Again, Alice shakes his head. They all suffered, over and over, but the others went on undeterred. Only Shin Tsukimi held on to caution, it seemed — except for what proved a genuine bond with Kanna Kizuchi. ]
But how could I resent the people who had become important to Reko? She was happy to have met you... I could see that.
[ Sheesh, she knew something bad had went down, but her arm was caught bad. That's what she gets for taking her eye off the ball. Well, at least she survived whatever it was. ]
--S'it bad? What happened to no stabbing or fighting?
[ Ranger's behavior is almost an even match. The casual demeanor remains, but he's terse, his posture rigid. Even so, it's not like what occurred at the meeting had no effect on him. Sara shouldn't have been the one taking blows for Komaeda - really, no one should have, and if Ranger had been a little bit quicker perhaps he could have pulled him out of harm's way.
But here they are, one with a broken arm and the other nearly despondent. ]
Rantaro's room. [ It's Ranger and Komaeda's room now. It's directly next to Sara's room, so it's nice and convenient. ] I can grab it, so I just need someone to get the door. Might wanna make sure no one's in the way too.
[ Taking the blow for Komeada was the least of it... If you feel bad, can you ask Midori where he keeps the good drugs? He hides them. To be honest, Sara really shouldn't be out of the nurses office right now, so he should be double thankful and just keep quiet that she's hanging around the dorms instead of getting bedrest.
Her own face falls out of its prim positioning at the mention of Amami, not to the anger of the meeting, but a lost little glance down at the box before she nods once. ]
I can do that.
[ She can't lift the box, but she does start walking over towards the room. Ranger can follow if he wants. ]
Is Komeada in? I haven't seen him since... He's feeling better right!? I saw you go after him.
sorry i sucked at marvel vs capcom 2 queen i tried my best
Um... I forgot to count magic in? Or wait, science.... Add-chan is weird about that.
[ She pats the foot of her bed, inviting Bonnie closer. ]
It could be worse... [ In a tone that also implies it could be better. ] If I just broke my arm, that's better then Komeada taking the hit or Add really hurting someone. I'll be ok in no time.
Well, I did hit you very hard with a gun. [ She folds her fingers primly as she says it. ] So I think we can count ourselves even in terms of bad first impressions?
[ It was the part of Reko she wanted to know his thoughts on, even if he'd tampered with his own memories to cope. Something she'd done much less elegantly herself, in her haphazard forgetting of Joe. To lose someone so suddenly, so randomly... She couldn't bring herself to kill the fake so they'd lost both. It had been a terrible, hopeless moment. ]
I always really admired how mature you were, Alice [ It's hard to keep her voice straight and proper, stave the choked edge off. ] When I was mad at Kanna...after you lost your sister. You always kept your cool when it counted.
[ Everyone in their little group really was kind. That's why it was so awful what happened to all of them. ]
[ Sara Chidouin did hit him hard, didn't she? It really hurt, and he couldn't move much while he was tied up! He would tell her precisely that in agreement, but her next words take him by surprise — he wouldn't have guessed any of that at all. Her apparent admiration (truly?), her feelings of resentment... And then there's the odd quality to her voice.
So she didn't think poorly of him, not even when he resorted to accepting the Crying Doll Tia Safalin's aid? Well, he has no complaints, if she means it, but she's leading him along a well-hidden trail. ]
Sara Chidouin...
[ The second vote — they were all divided. No part of it was easy, neither the discussions nor the choices, and in the end, the hardest decision to make was left to their leader. If she resented the rest of them for that, if that's her confession, then who could blame her? What a dreadful burden, sealing someone's fate. Nao Egokoro and Kanna Kizuchi died in agony. Shin Tsukimi's efforts were in vain.
Those memories are distressing to revisit, but Alice cocks his head at Sara, prompting her to continue. ]
[ She can't help rubbing her eyes a little. She never actually learned what Alice had thought of that choice. It's surprising that he doesn't sound angry at all, when he'd voted against her choice. ]
I know it wasn't the right choice now...what I picked... I was so scared, and angry, and hurt I wished I didn't have to be the one to choose. When Midori kept picking on us, all I kept thinking was, why is it always me?
[ Such bitter hateful thoughts, using that to fuel her steps forward despite all proclimations that she believed in everyone. Biting her lip isn't going to make the next part any easier. ]
Ranmaru asked if we should just win together. I...I was weak. I said a lot of things I shouldn't! Because of that...because I was so weak and I resented everyone...Ranmaru killed you Alice. There's nobody to blame for you being here other then me.
[ There's not much she can say to that, other then nod into his shoulder and hug him tighter. They made their decisions, and if Sara is tired of losing people and staying behind...that's just her reality. It's not anybodys fault. Subaru said he wouldn't leave and that's what's important.
She tilts her head quizzically into his at the question... ]
Of course I like them. I grew up in a big city, so I only really saw them when I went camping. Up in Hokkaido, the stars look so alive.
[ Why is it always Sara Chidouin? He'd called her a dictator once, mistakenly, yet he came to hand her the steering wheel, too. Again and again, she did what no one else could, for this reason or that — she isn't a mere schoolgirl, but who wouldn't be crushed beneath the weight of the leader's mantle around her shoulders? No doubt it began to feel like a ball and chain of her own to drag along, heavier and heavier.
There was no right choice.
Alice's eyes narrow, not in anger, but in puzzlement. ]
I... don't understand. I've told you — Ranmaru Kageyama wasn't there. It was... the ceiling. I suspect that Midori was behind it, since I was outside his operating room... I don't see how it could possibly be your fault, or Ranmaru Kageyama's, Sara Chidouin.
[ But she seems convinced of her guilt, or she wouldn't have summoned him here, telling him all of this to come clean. The desire to win... That strikes him as desperation, by then. ]
There was no such thing as a "right choice" anyway, you know. No matter what the final choice was, people who didn't deserve it would die, and suffer... all because of that insane game!
'Kay, so... Whenever stars die, they go one of three ways after their big ol' explosion: they become a black hole, they disappear completely, or... they become another sort of astral object, a dense white ball of neutrons. All things in the universe are made up of star stuff, so when we die, we go right back to where we belong -- not into the dirt, but into the sky with everyone and everything else.
[of course she likes the stars, though. he likes them still, still knows too much about them -- it had contrasted so much with his identity, as a flippant and seemingly stupid, careless kind of guy who'd never look up like that, but the fact of the matter is is that he did like them, does like them, will always like them.
...
they hold a special meaning they didn't before, after all, touched by countless nights.]
Haha~, it's probably weird hearin' me talk like this, huh? But... I wanted to talk to you about 'em because everyone who's died around you is still there, even if you can't see them. [it sucks they aren't there there, and he doesn't know why he holds the thought with such importance outside of what he told keigo the same way, but--] Out there, among the glittering stars, is one where a little prince is laughing. So when you look up at the stars, every star will be laughing -- because the stars remind you of them, even if you don't know what star they're on.
[...
that sorta thing... he feels embarrassed talking about it now though, don't call out his warming face.]
[ Just wait, when he finds out she has none and goes to steal Komaeda's morphine for her. He scoops up the box, adjusting his grip so he can hold it without abandoning his face cards and following along. There's a pause as he considers the best way to answer his question, one that lasts a little too long to be called normal. How much should he say here...? ]
I don't think so. He... [ There's another pause, shorter this time, but it's hard to deny the traces of concern that work their way in, ] ... Took what happened pretty hard. He's more sensitive than people think.
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open wildcard post: March 1 - March 31
asap
03/07
He's working on Safalin's machine now, working through various settings. In all honesty, he should've moved the damn thing when it first showed up, but it's enough of an eyesore that he hadn't wanted it in his living quarters. But he's getting ready to move it now. Midori doesn't need it to destroy people's memories, and somebody's going to melt their brain with it if he leaves it for too long. Besides, it's ASUNARO technology. That shouldn't be left accessible.
He must be working on multiple things at once, because the arcade machine has likewise been pulled out and the back taken off. That's next on his list.
He happens to catch sight of Sara passing by. ]
You mind giving me a hand with this?
[ He pats the top of the chair the device is stationed on as he says this. ]
subaru 3/2
[ It hasn't even been a week since the event but every night Sara has spent since the 29th has been restless. By the time she stumbles into Subaru's room one evening, she looks near listless, holding a mug of cocoa as she rubs a hand through her messy hair. No...she's not sharing! ]
Can we talk? About...everything?
alice 3/5
Re: 03/07
Er...where do you need it, Ranger-san?
[ The return to formality is palpable. She might be a little mad, believe it or not. Not for any good reason...its Ranger's own fault for hanging out with a bunch of petty teens! ]
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why would he be.
there's a distinct lack of a bunkbed. of many of his suncatchers. of any identifying features that would signal that a certain fortune-teller would have ever called this home. his boyfriend and... amami were dead, and he thinks about the people who've invaded the space they once laid in as if they were just pests waiting for a chance to move in.
subaru knows it isn't like that. rationally. but it still puts a poor taste in his mouth.]
Sure. [sara's still important to him. she's kind and headstrong, she's got direction and feet to take her there. he wants to follow.] Sorry we don't have much to sit on, but make yourself at home.
[close the door, goes the unspoken request.]
his male living space...where is a womans (natsumes) touch
Where is Natsume? Why hasn't Subaru held onto any of Keigo or Amami's things? He was the third of that little trio...now the odd one out. Looking out across the room, Sara finds thinking of anything Amami did a bitter taste...
She doesn't say any of that. Instead, she closes the door behind her and walks till she stands right in front of him, almost close enough their noses touch. There's a weird intensity to her gaze. ]
... [ There are a thousand things she wants to say, but first... ] Are you holding up okay?
bro... hes DIVORCED LEAVE HIM BE!!! DIVORCED AND WIDOWED!!!
he only has the camera, something bound tight in his jacket laying at his side, and a single suncatcher hung high above the skylight outside. subaru has to shake komaeda down for the rest, but he doesn't feel like approaching the other just yet -- not when he feels like that guy'll see right through him, just like he had not a month ago.
...
well, sara does too in a way, and at the question he can feel his heart ache, his stomach turn and he presses his lips together tight, altogether a more open display of grief and pain as he shakes his head. he laughs, but it's short and shuddering as he tries to regain his bearings.]
What day is it, Sasara? 'Cause it feels like time doesn't exist anymore. [too fast, too slow, its presence just
gone, from his life. like so many others. he steps forward to hug her, pressing his face into her shoulder. please, please.] I know I'm like, not the only one this hit, 'cause you don't look so good either, but it feels like a rug got pulled right from under me.
[in so many ways, that only his current roommates even know.]
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The girl was adamant that Jou Tazuna should avoid Midori entirely, but surely any news would be meant for the others' ears as well? ]
Sara Chidouin? I received your note, and I've come to hear what you intend to discuss.
[ Alice glances over his shoulder. ]
I've arrived punctually...
does he have a bedframe tho
[ She reaches up over his shoulders to pull him closer into a hug. Even in the snow that night...Sara has never seen Subaru this upset. Her own hands tremble as she grips the back of his shirt, keeping her breathing as even as she can. ]
It's Wednesday... have you been going to class? [ Probably not...she should have checked in sooner. ] I know you're a third year and grades don't really matter anymore, but it's good to have a routine.
[ Pretty words, when Sara has been ditching her studies for long walks in the woods to get away from the memories of the school. She feels the same way, like the world tilted wildly off its axis.]
I don't even know what to say. This all happened so fast... I was wrong about everything Subaru, I'm sorry.
[ For a second her grip is very tight. Her breath shudders, and something mumbled and pained slips out. ]
D-don't leave okay? You... I trust you. I trusted him and he...but you won't leave, right? You'll be here if I come by tomorrow?
komaeda took it all
some things are better said outloud, after all.]
I'll be here every day you want me to be, Sasara. Visit me whenever you want, I'm not leaving. I've got... [breathe] I've got stuff to do still, so I won't be leaving.
[he's directionless, mostly.
he has no star to guide him. no moon to light his path. he doesn't have a bell to follow, or a back to reach out for. but he has someone in his arms right now that needs him as much as he needs her and that's enough, because subaru has always trusted sara and she has never made him think that he should otherwise, a spunky girl who roleplays kdramas with him and in the same instance would call him out, would stand with and against him just to clear the air.
he loves her, he does. it hurts his heart.]
Okay? Do you believe me? I promise, I swear it, I won't leave you if you-- if you don't leave me too.
[he's lost so many now.]
3/5-6 — whichever date makes more sense.
[ not what he was expecting, rather, he wanted a little more excitement, like sara pushing another individual into add's attack, and then watching that person crumble and break. such a sight might have helped the female understand who she truly is, the chance to come to the real sara, the participant who can slaughter to keep herself alive, and shed crocodile tears to gain the compassion of the crowd.
instead, he has this female in a lump in one of the cots where she needs to get her rest, and she'll know better than to move her arm.
he picks up a cup of tea that maple had brought him, sipping softly in his chair close by where all the drugs are next to him, and she might notice ibuprofen, advil, morphine, and midol. ]
Did you have a good rest?
[ good awake sleepyhead. ]
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Upon awakening the morning of the 6th, after fitfully passing out like a swooning maiden after having her arm undone and then redone by a close friend...Sara finds herself reflecting upon the many merits of other paths should could have taken in that moment. Like...why didn't she grab Add from behind and throw him... he couldn't hit her or Komeada with a spell like that. Why did she think it was like a gun and if she just pointed it away, it wouldn't hurt anyone? What even was that...did all of her arm get all the way back? Did she leave some of it in some of Add's science magic demensions?
It's not the pain that caused such reflection, Sara honestly doesn't care (she cares a little) but it will pass and morphine exists. No, the real issue is that Akari went on vacation last week and she really should have considered who would be treating her before she went and blew off her own arm stupidly...
So she stares at Midori like you might if a rattlesnake just crawled onto your bed and offered to treat your injuries, but it didn't speak japanese and was still a rattlesnake with poison and not a doctor at all. ]
...Hi...
[ Go away.....................She's got one free hand and shes pulling the covers up. ]
I slept great! You can go.
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[ he picks up a notice that's written by miss sara, signed on the dotted line, as he got her when she was doped up on morphine, and couldn't make a lick of sense what was going on. how else does anyone stay in the same room as midori for a whole night?
midori sets it down, because he doesn't need sara straining her eyes. ]
You suffered a closed fracture in your entire arm...! Oof. You'll need a cast or a splint. I wanted you to know about that before I worked on you.
[ he's chit-chatting away, watching as she pulls the covers up like a child. he laughs, leaning forward to pat the sheet in hopes that she'll pull it down. he does have amnesia, he is just some guy despite amami not being here. his eyes lock onto the female, a small smile offered as his hands settle down into his lap. ]
Do you have any questions before I start the procedure?
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Maybe Sou's plan about trying to tell everyone about Midori would have had some merit. She pulls the covers down slightly, but its only so she can look towards the door. ]
If the bone doesn't need to be reset, its fine right? [ She can just not move it...no need to get a doctor involved. Or get it infected, yell at Add until he amputates it, she doesn't care. She would like to leave now. ] I'll be going. I don't want you touching me.
[ She tries to swing her legs around to get out of bed and oof...ow...no...bad idea. Maybe its only her arm that got broken in the aftermath, but the rest of her body got rammed by that spell, and its telling her moving is not on the memo. Ow...owowowow...
...If she gets a painkiller! Then she can leave!! She's got one good arm let her try and push Midori's patting hand aside and reach for it. She is a good patient. Doctors love her! ]
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[ She sniffles, but its easier to remember that he promised when he's right here to hold her. She can hear his heart beating, a reminder he's alive, as alive as it counts in this place and he's here with her.
Amami can have death and murder and contracts and horrible choices with no good answers. Sara just wants her friend to stay here with her. If Subaru left...if he died or destroyed himself for something bigger, she'd have to deal with it, the way she deals with everything. It wouldn't destroy her, but it would be so empty without him. He's the kind of guy who make the whole world brighter when he's around. There are very few people left who Sara knows love her, who she loves, and who she can choose to trust. ]
If you swear it. I swear it too...but I never go anywhere. I always live when everyone around me just...
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Nooooope! Sheesh, kids like you really think you're invincible! Sorry, Sara, if you don't get a splint, your bones will grow improper, and you'll look disfigured...
[ they'll take her into one of those freak shows, and she can be their little spider child or something. he's really trying to save her from that fate, and besides, spider sara is not the bad bitch he wants to see! ]
Oh... I forgot to say your body experienced something so truamatic you'll just collapse to the floor, and lay there...
[ think about that sara. ] I guess... If you don't want me touching you. ✨
[ fall on the floor, i dare her right now. with a little chuckle, midori rolls in his rolling chair along with the rolling table full of drugs so that it's a good distance from sara. drug addled patients do be trying anything. ]
Splint or cast? The longer you wait, the quicker your bones are merging horribly!
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It would be easy...! It's just Midori, that jerk, he rolled the drugs away from where she is, so she can't reach them. It's taking all her focus to keep herself from falling off the bed, but she's Sara freaking Chidouin, and she's not going to fall onto the floor pass out because everything hurts!!! ]
D-don't say it like that! [ Auugh... merging? Is that how bones work...? ] I d-don't know the difference between a splint and a cast! Give me the painkillers!
[ Claws her free hand at him. This is what she can focus on right. Give, give. ]
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[ how does she not know the difference between a splint and a cast, but a cast would be safer, because a splint would leave exposed flesh, and if she smacks that bitch on something... john claude van DAMN SHE WON'T LIKE IT!!! ]
No. [ he's not going to let her just be drugged for the hell of it. ]
A plaster cast is a mold around your arm, and a splint is just a piece of wood wrapped to your arm to keep it straight.
[ very nimbly dodged her clawing attempt... ]
Which would you like?
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[ Now she's mad. He's insulting her. Look at her...she's sitting up in bed and everything? This is the face of someone who is not going to pass out after a feeble clawing attempt. ]
Um... a cast? [ She kind of agrees it sounds safer... and people can sign it. Wait...no! But she's not letting him touch her. ] But I don't want...you! You're just going to make it worse!
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[ by making it worse, oh no, everyone's doing that for him. they're own chaotic behavior is eating them up from the inside, they can no longer work as a group, there's a push and a pull. he watches them break, fleeting touches shatter, and they retreat; they're monsters among themselves. there's many definitions he could consider them, but only one term stands out: dissonant. they're are not unlike the metaphorical broken bone in sara's arm, and it's not guaranteed that time will heal those wounds whereas she has a set amount of weeks. ]
This group is quite a mess... seeing you all attempt to kill each other.
[ he picks up a bottle of ibuprofen to shake, the soft rattling of capsules heard shoeing there's just not enough to soothe her ache. morphine would do much better. ]
You should be careful when morphine won't ease the pain of a decapitated head. I'll tell you a secret, we have found it so interesting in the days of modern medicine.
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[ There's only so long a pain addled teen can stay upright. Sara does not nearly fall on her face...but she she does flop back onto the bed. ]
I meant don't want you switching my toes around... [ Mumbled into the pillow...its always hard to look at Midori when he's being right. She can't summon the usual outrage. ] Or giving me a new hand... Rocket punching isn't cool, Ryoko said I have nice nails...
[ She pushes herself up one handed with a sigh, looking at the rattling pills. Glaring at the bottle might manifest it in her hands. ]
Everyone is scared... We'll get through it if we try. I know you can't beat us. Any of you.
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Miss Sara, I'm a doctor when I reside in this room, why would I go through so much to replace your hands...
[ though, if he could, he'd pout slightly from hearing such a cool move isn't cool at all. it is to him, and he likes it, both his hands can do it! there's a lot of cute little things about him, like how his rattail can curl into a heart, or that it wags when he's happy... she'd never understand. 100% humans stay hating on front runners. ]
If you don't mind me asking, [ he moves to the side with her damaged arm, looking at the work that's already been done. cracking her bones in place means breaking other bones. especially if they want them to heal properly. ]
"Any of you?" Please explain, or they'll become empty words.
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[ When will it! Fix her!!! She see's the hand coming, but he moves to fast to stop the pills from slipping onto her mouth. It's hard to stop the raw animal panic that rumbles when she see's Midori reaching from her face. She tries to spit them, but instead in her panic she swallows by accident. Covering her mouth, Sara gives Midori a queasy glare.
He's coming around to her arm... she thinks she gets how dogs at the vet feel. This sucks. ]
Enemies of course. People who want to hurt others or separate people. You didn't do it before, and you won't do it now. [ Is she supposed to still pretend he's amnesiac...? Oh well. ] When times get tough we'll...ugh my throat...dry pills are foul!!! Didn't you have water?
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[ midori has never liked pain really, and he doesn't like it now. there's consequences from being in this position, vulnerable, unable to move, and the uncomfortable sensation of what feels like knives digging into the body every so often. at least it's her and not him, but he wouldn't do something so reckless.
crestfallen, he speaks. ]
Who are the enemies? We are doctor and patient, at the moment, I'm your caretaker.
[ oh, yes, hurt people, separate them. that was on the asunaro ready checklist, which he didn't finish marking his finished tasks off on because of well, reasons, and things, and cheaters. it's at her request for water that he stops from checking her arm, drawing his hands back. ]
Suffering from Xerostomia as well... That's no good, here.
[ he'll walk back around her bed, grabbing a cub, and using one of the nurse's bottled waters that she has stored away in the corner because i say so. picking it up, he pours it in, making sure it's enough for a few swallows. too much and he's afraid sara will choke herself as he comes back over to hold it out.
there's no pills hidden in the water. we won't replicate amami and keigo's glory days. ]
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[ He's violating the hippocratic...something. She take the water with another grumbling sigh, moving her arm to sip at it and mumbling something about how there's "no way xerostomia is a real word" under her breath.
It's weird...watching him shuffle around out the corner of her eye. All her memories of Midori have him gleefully darting about full of murderous energy... but the way he acts when she's hurt kind of reminds Sara of her dad...
Terrible, terrible comparison! Wrong! She's never going to let him know ever ever!! ]
A-anyway! Fine! Hypothetically if you were my doctor, which you aren't, because I hate you and you won't give me morphine. ....How bad is it? Do I need surgery?
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[ She turns to Alice with a flurried half motion of her hands, which awkwardly still once she meets his eyes. ]
You really did arrive right on the dot... Sorry, I'd offer tea but I wanted to do this away from people. [ Her hands move again, to fiddle with the edge of her uniform. ]
You...its about the game... I told you I wasn't being truthful before...I just needed some time to think how to tell you something about how you died.
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[ it's just a broken arm, which ibuprofen wouldn't be enough, but yesterday was where she swallowed pill after pill, and also how she slept so long. midori didn't allow any visitors to stir her from her rest, and so he stayed all through the night until she woke back up. he doesn't need to sleep, so it's a good thing she didn't wake up or would have had eyes just staring at her from the corner. ]
I'm Sou Hiyori, I graduated top of my class, and went into medicine.
[ the name doesn't suit him anymore, but to play the game, he has to use it along with his achievements. the younger him would say this so boldly, very proud of himself which midori is; there's no one who specializes in what midori can do. he's one of a kind. his experiences shaped his beliefs and ideals, and asunaro molded them into something specific.
one foot after the other, he comes back to the side where her wounded arm is to look it over. his fingers slowly come down, and gently he touches along the middle to find a reaction.
it'll probably hurt, he's sure. ]
By my knowledge, there can still be severe soft-tissue injury associated with some closed fractures, and so surgery would be needed to ensure that it heals properly. [ if he's being a normal person, then... ] It'd be the best outcome.
at some point after the meeting
Plus, really... she did have a few questions herself to ask. Which is why she went searching for Sara, seeking out her room and giving a little knock. ]
Miss Chidouin? Are you busy?
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I'm fully composed... [ He won't faint today! ] Well? What did you wish to tell me?
[ On second thought, should they take a seat? Sara Chidouin still seems uneasy in his company — she's reluctant to look at him, he thinks. Perhaps she saw his dead body, and the discovery must have been rather unpleasant.
Reaching for a nearby chair, Alice pushes it closer to Sara, pulling another one towards himself. ]
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Getting right to the heart of it as usual... [ Her sigh is fond, even if her expression is serious. She takes the chair with a nod, leaning it forward as she sits. ]
Alice... back when we were in the killing game...did you ever doubt the group? I mean...your sister died... didn't you resent us?
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She's mostly been reading a book to keep her mind off the worst doctor ever, but when Bonnie comes in, Sara sits up with a guarded expression before she see's who it is. ]
Oh! Bonnie-chan...? Ow...sorry I sat up to fast. Did you come to visit me?
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...
he doesn't. he won't, not right now, and maybe it's the same mistake as telling amami bad news in lanling over compounding his sorrows right after the other... but subaru cares too much for his friends, even now, to think of hurting them more than they've been hurt -- if they've shown they prefer it one way over the other he'll go with that, but he doesn't want to hurt them more than happens.]
No one's born luckier or unluckier than others, y'know? It's not like, trials or anything like that, 'cause anyone who tells you so is full of shit, [something he'd told rokuro, too, in the same frank way,] but... They make their own decisions, just like you make yours.
[not that keigo had a say in this particular decision; subaru wonders if he should have killed them when they asked, but thinks of past (the last) month they'd been able to spend together and swallows hard, squeezing his eyes shut.
had it been selfish? maybe. but had it been worth it? it felt like it. the phantom of their arms around his neck lay heavy as sara's own, but at least he knows they're safe in god's hands. god wasn't scary, after all; god had been kind, god had told him he wasn't alone, and he thinks of warm hands cupping his cheeks.]
Do you like stars?
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Those questions meet with silence, at first. He thinks back to the very beginning, and to the events hurled at them one after the other. ]
...I said unfair things, didn't I? Not only when I questioned your intentions, Sara Chidouin, but later... Ultimately, all of you were kind people, even in such awful circumstances. In a place like that, where caring for anyone would only—...
[ Again, Alice shakes his head. They all suffered, over and over, but the others went on undeterred. Only Shin Tsukimi held on to caution, it seemed — except for what proved a genuine bond with Kanna Kizuchi. ]
But how could I resent the people who had become important to Reko? She was happy to have met you... I could see that.
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[ Sheesh, she knew something bad had went down, but her arm was caught bad. That's what she gets for taking her eye off the ball. Well, at least she survived whatever it was. ]
--S'it bad? What happened to no stabbing or fighting?
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But here they are, one with a broken arm and the other nearly despondent. ]
Rantaro's room. [ It's Ranger and Komaeda's room now. It's directly next to Sara's room, so it's nice and convenient. ] I can grab it, so I just need someone to get the door. Might wanna make sure no one's in the way too.
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Her own face falls out of its prim positioning at the mention of Amami, not to the anger of the meeting, but a lost little glance down at the box before she nods once. ]
I can do that.
[ She can't lift the box, but she does start walking over towards the room. Ranger can follow if he wants. ]
Is Komeada in? I haven't seen him since... He's feeling better right!? I saw you go after him.
sorry i sucked at marvel vs capcom 2 queen i tried my best
[ She pats the foot of her bed, inviting Bonnie closer. ]
It could be worse... [ In a tone that also implies it could be better. ] If I just broke my arm, that's better then Komeada taking the hit or Add really hurting someone. I'll be ok in no time.
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[ It was the part of Reko she wanted to know his thoughts on, even if he'd tampered with his own memories to cope. Something she'd done much less elegantly herself, in her haphazard forgetting of Joe. To lose someone so suddenly, so randomly... She couldn't bring herself to kill the fake so they'd lost both. It had been a terrible, hopeless moment. ]
I always really admired how mature you were, Alice [ It's hard to keep her voice straight and proper, stave the choked edge off. ] When I was mad at Kanna...after you lost your sister. You always kept your cool when it counted.
[ Everyone in their little group really was kind. That's why it was so awful what happened to all of them. ]
I...after the second vote. I resented everyone...
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So she didn't think poorly of him, not even when he resorted to accepting the Crying Doll Tia Safalin's aid? Well, he has no complaints, if she means it, but she's leading him along a well-hidden trail. ]
Sara Chidouin...
[ The second vote — they were all divided. No part of it was easy, neither the discussions nor the choices, and in the end, the hardest decision to make was left to their leader. If she resented the rest of them for that, if that's her confession, then who could blame her? What a dreadful burden, sealing someone's fate. Nao Egokoro and Kanna Kizuchi died in agony. Shin Tsukimi's efforts were in vain.
Those memories are distressing to revisit, but Alice cocks his head at Sara, prompting her to continue. ]
...It was difficult, wasn't it?
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[ She can't help rubbing her eyes a little. She never actually learned what Alice had thought of that choice. It's surprising that he doesn't sound angry at all, when he'd voted against her choice. ]
I know it wasn't the right choice now...what I picked... I was so scared, and angry, and hurt I wished I didn't have to be the one to choose. When Midori kept picking on us, all I kept thinking was, why is it always me?
[ Such bitter hateful thoughts, using that to fuel her steps forward despite all proclimations that she believed in everyone. Biting her lip isn't going to make the next part any easier. ]
Ranmaru asked if we should just win together. I...I was weak. I said a lot of things I shouldn't! Because of that...because I was so weak and I resented everyone...Ranmaru killed you Alice. There's nobody to blame for you being here other then me.
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She tilts her head quizzically into his at the question... ]
Of course I like them. I grew up in a big city, so I only really saw them when I went camping. Up in Hokkaido, the stars look so alive.
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There was no right choice.
Alice's eyes narrow, not in anger, but in puzzlement. ]
I... don't understand. I've told you — Ranmaru Kageyama wasn't there. It was... the ceiling. I suspect that Midori was behind it, since I was outside his operating room... I don't see how it could possibly be your fault, or Ranmaru Kageyama's, Sara Chidouin.
[ But she seems convinced of her guilt, or she wouldn't have summoned him here, telling him all of this to come clean. The desire to win... That strikes him as desperation, by then. ]
There was no such thing as a "right choice" anyway, you know. No matter what the final choice was, people who didn't deserve it would die, and suffer... all because of that insane game!
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[of course she likes the stars, though. he likes them still, still knows too much about them -- it had contrasted so much with his identity, as a flippant and seemingly stupid, careless kind of guy who'd never look up like that, but the fact of the matter is is that he did like them, does like them, will always like them.
...
they hold a special meaning they didn't before, after all, touched by countless nights.]
Haha~, it's probably weird hearin' me talk like this, huh? But... I wanted to talk to you about 'em because everyone who's died around you is still there, even if you can't see them. [it sucks they aren't there there, and he doesn't know why he holds the thought with such importance outside of what he told keigo the same way, but--] Out there, among the glittering stars, is one where a little prince is laughing. So when you look up at the stars, every star will be laughing -- because the stars remind you of them, even if you don't know what star they're on.
[...
that sorta thing... he feels embarrassed talking about it now though, don't call out his warming face.]
no subject
I don't think so. He... [ There's another pause, shorter this time, but it's hard to deny the traces of concern that work their way in, ] ... Took what happened pretty hard. He's more sensitive than people think.
[ He's a lot like Sara in that regard, really. ]
it ok, fighting games are hard
[ She takes the invitation and sits down, arms folded with a grimace suddenly crossing her face. ]
It's worse if someone else gets hurt? They were the ones causing trouble, why the hell should you take the hit for them?