yogen | APRIL EVENT LOG/TDM

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The opening ceremony starts at 8, with students and staff moving to the auditorium to sit with their homeroom class, calling characters out by name and dragging them over to their seat— physically if need be, and they're much stronger than they look. Much like the graduation ceremony, characters are not forced to come to the entrance ceremony, but the moment they take a seat, they find that they can neither speak nor get up again until the ceremony is over.

A teacher stands behind the podium on stage. Characters may recognize pieces of the speech from the previous year. He takes the time to welcome Yogen High's new students first, followed by acknowledging the transfer, returning, and repeat students. As he goes on, the teacher encourages students to instead focus on their own personal growth, and developing strong bonds that will allow them to reach their goals. He sighs as he explains that the Principal and Vice Principal are currently not available before he reminds students that violence is strictly prohibited and that there will be strict consequences for anyone who is caught engaging in misconduct.

The teacher concludes by noting that teachers will inform them of any important announcements. He wishes everybody a fulfilling school year, and reminds them that they have the power to shape the future. The ceremony concludes in a little under an hour, and the spell binding the students to their seats is broken, allowing everybody to rise and leave.

School lets out for the rest of the day with classes starting the next morning, and while many students take the opportunity to leave, some linger around the school.

08:00 04/06-04/09

Classes resume as usual, and it's the same old routine, with gossip and rumors spreading about, and students growing excited over new club advertisements, and fortune telling ads in addition to upcoming events. In an effort to encourage students to form lasting relationships, the school has set up events for the first week with plans for smaller events throughout the month. The PDA logs have been wiped clean with the start of the year, and all messages from before 04/05 are gone.

✽ Tuesday, 04/06 will be a simple Welcome Back. The day will be dedicated to giving important announcements, including the events for the rest of the week, introducing students to clubs, etc. There will be a potluck with various sweets and snack items, along with time dedicated to getting-to-know you style games and other such activities.
✽ Wednesday, 04/07 will feature the beginning of a Team Building Scavenger Hunt! There are no items to be found, but instead students are given a list of tasks to complete and turn into their homeroom teacher. Examples include introducing yourself to a new student, doing something nice for another student, being asked to identify a specific student who fits a certain criteria, anything that can be used to encourage interactions.
✽ Thursday, 04/08 will feature karaoke night in the music room. There is a karaoke machine set up along with a screen set up, along with some CDs with all the greatest hits of the 90ws. There is a decorative backdrop set up along with party decorations. There are inflatable music notes, cut out notes, microphones, record albums, and instruments taped along the wall, and a box full of props for students to use if they so choose.
✽ Friday, 04/09 will feature a game night held in class 1-B. Desks have been pushed together to form tables and covered in cloths, and various board and card games have been set out for students. There is a TV with an N64 and Playstation set out along with various games.

Outside of classes, the days wear on, and students come in with bruises and scraped knees and elbows and bloody noses. They smear blood on the walls and drip it onto the floor, splatter it onto the mirror without meaning to, bringing along with it a sense of vertigo. Characters looking in the mirror may find that they catch sight of something. It's there reflected in the mirror, a shadowy and dark figure in the edge of their vision, but it the moment they look away it disappears, leaving behind only a chill in the air. The mirror room is almost unbearably cold.

04/10-04/30

Characters who look in mirrors will see the shadowy figure reflected in it growing closer to them. It's an odd sight to be sure, and the cold air it brings with clings to the skin, but even as they draw close they seem to do no harm. It's only once they're right behind a character that they'll begin to notice it - the cold that clings to them no matter how warm the room, the faint tingling of their skin, the sleepiness that settles in, and the whispers in their ear.

It's faint at first, barely noticeable if not for its persistence, but over time those whispers will grow louder; the coolness on their skin will turn into a cold that chills them down to the bone, and the unrested feeling becomes a constant fatigue and lethargy. The words and tone vary, as do the voices, but each and every one eats into the character. They might speak of a character's insecurities or guilt, or they might leave them with a sinking loneliness, or perhaps they promise the warmth and companionship that a character desires, or any other number of matters that so often tug at the mind.

The figures can be viewed through mirrors. Those with supernatural sight or an adderstone will similarly be able to see them following characters, latching onto them. Items that ward off the supernatural may help, but the only way to truly ward them off is with bonds formed in the school. The figures seem to be warded off by the presence of another person. The cold disappears with the slightest touch, the whispering stops during conversation, and for that time they're given a brief reprieve. But they often seem to come back the moment a person passes by a mirror once more.

OOC

✽ The school will be hosting various smaller team building exercise throughout the month which can range from exercises to group projects. There are examples here, so feel free to pick what works best for your goals.
✽ The shadowy figures will appear more frequently where there is blood, fresh or otherwise.
✽ Characters who are isolated will find that they are more susceptible to being followed by the figures, and it may take longer interactions to dispel them completely.
✽ Items from the student shop that ward off supernatural creatures will aide in keeping the shadows from getting too close at first, but their effectiveness will wear off the longer a character is followed. They seem to be most effective when used in conjunction with interactions with others, and especially others who have similar items (i.e. a character with a silver cross and a character with a gold chain.)

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Mental, physical, emotional... ahaha... I'm a man of many talents, a doctor first and foremost.

[ someone who takes great pride and care in his job, especially with how emerald green eyes meet with the youths before him. he's another third year, but not the same carelessness or descent into the unknown like his body had met before. without the school uniform, he looks nothing like the washed up body before, and just a normal medical practitioner. ]

But that's fine, please sign this saying you came to visit...

[ helps the statistics of how often, and what the problems that bring him here. clipboard in hand, he walks over with a pen for the other to use. ]

Is it a thumping, humming or thinking sort of pain?

[too bad, subaru really liked the headless student body. that was cool. he shuffles a bit to sit up, fixing the twisted up band of a polaroid camera hanging around his neck.

oh these are cute actually. he grins a little at them, twirling it between his fingers before writing down what's needed.]

What's a thinking sort of pain like?

[ he has to work for that, but midori doesn't remove his head as much as people think he does. after the signature, he'll take both that and the pen back. ]

What a nice smile. We're on the road to recovery, ahaha...

[ writing down headaches beside subaru's name, he turns away from the male with his back to him as he sets the board down with a soft clack. ]

It can be all sorts of things, it's when you think too much. I'm sure you've done that before, and then it leads to stress.

[the compliment makes the grin stay at least, just for a bit, and then it drops back to a sort of plain smile that's the type people use when they've got nothing else for their face to do. laying back on the cot, playing with the camera idly.]

Thinking it is then.

[that sounds fine enough. he's been thinking a lot lately, after all, headache and heartache's just a few letters difference anyway.]

Can't believe I gotta redo my last year... I was set to go and forget, y'know? [but was he?] Nice the rest of us stayed though, meeting new people's sort of a pain in the ass. Especially when the teachers and such are makin' such a big deal about it.

[small talk. mostly. you know, about what's probably stressing him.]

[ so that's what it is, then.

midori takes a seat in his chair, steam pressed slacks visible as he crosses his legs, and his hands settle in his lap, holding onto each other while watching the other hold the camera. could that be his comfort item, or maybe it's more than that? ]

Now, now... do you believe you would have been better off forgetting this place?

[ he doesn't have many memories here, but the one's that he do are with bonnie, and then some of the one's that he's familiar with, but that's when he was alive. ]

I want you to think on that question as we talk about the problem at hand. What's spoken here stays here. [ there's a small sigh, relieved as he clicks the coffee maker next to him. it hums for a moment, then there's the sound of drips that hit at the bottom of the pot— the aroma may be subdued by antiseptics. ]

If it's difficult meeting new people; do you find them difficult, or do you find them understanding you to be?

[that was the plan, he's about to answer before midori continues on and then he closes his mouth instead, getting a vague feeling of deja vu. the counselor, mizuki, had asked him something and then told him to think on it, too. a doctor of all sorts indeed.]

... Dunno. I don't really have a problem like, making friends and all, but they feel sorta...

[he hums.]

Shallow? Not that they're shallow, but the whole thing between us is. A lot of it's my own fault though, I guess, I went through a pretty big change... recently...?

[is it still recent if it's been a full month since then. food for thought.]

Shallow is quite the term to use.

[ there's little depth, and with subaru's oncoming words is where midori sighs, nodding slowly. ]

The nature of your relationship never feels full, having taken a step back or experienced growth... it feels incomplete because of the distance between you and everyone else.

[ no one's shallow, it's just his view of "between us" with other people. that feeling can make relationships difficult, find them harder to have, or ward him off from even trying. ]

What is your biggest change, Subaru?

[...

well, he hasn't told anyone else the biggest change so far. the only ones who know are natsume and helena, in full, and others can figure it out. if they know him enough, if they cared about "that subaru" enough. maybe he shouldn't think that though, it puts a sour tang in his mouth.]

Loss, [he says instead, because that isn't untrue either.] Not really feeling like myself after it all, I guess. Like I'm someone else.

[that's about as close as he'll get, with midori and with others who pry. he feels like someone else. it's not a lie, given circumstances... it's the effect that matters, not the cause.]

That sorta thing.

You went through a pretty big change, you don't realize fully whereas others do.

[ he's scribbling in paper, jotting down the important parts that he can connect further within the conversation. ]

You feel different... would you say it's uncomfortable being in that skin?

[ like the mind doesn't match with the body, the experiences he knows doesn't connect with the scars tattooed on his skin. it's not the same. ]

Yeah, yeah! Just like that. Sorta like... I'm looking at things from the back of a movie theater sometimes.

[what he remembers of his dreams in the forest haven't left him, the people who appeared and what was said. it visualization isn't wrong, it's apt, and he scoots up a bit on the cot to get comfy.]

I can see what's all happening and stuff, but it... kind of feels like I'm not me.

[...]

But maybe that's just how loss is? I dunno, I haven't really lost anyone 'til I got here. Not like that.

You've lost yourself, that's what it sounds like. A discrepancy in the soul.

[ circling a few notable pieces of subaru's claim, midori lifts his eyes to watch him get comfortable before returning to looking back at the clipboard. ]

Some actors are so caught up that they forget their true face, so now you're playing another role! ...Now, what do you want to do with this life?

[ is it loss, or a chance to indulge in something new? let's see, because if subaru would rather have the old back, and not deal with the present then that is quite the conundrum. ]

[... discrepancy of the soul... an actor who's forgot his true face... the words are like burning slaps against his face and subaru can't keep his eyes on midori, face turning away slightly to look at the wall instead.

how many times had "he" gone to the infirmary, compared to "now"? the walls are familiar, in that generic way, but they seem so

regardless.]

Um... I dunno. Be happy, I guess. I thought I'd be graduating, but instead I'm saddled for another year with all of this.

[the fears, the inadequacies, the feeling of someone else beneath his skin.]

So I guess this year'll be that I actually protect the people I say I'm gonna protect instead of thinkin' they'll be just fine, even if it costs me an arm and a leg.

Do you believe that your old self was weaker?

[ now that's a nice place to start to see what does he know about how he used to be, the people or well, his "friends" were acquainted with before his newfound personality.

this is a nurse's office, so he has to heal bleeding wounds, and those "i guesses" along with him being so unsure are peeled scab, bleeding all over his floor, and so he has to cover them with some sort of bandage. leeches also work perfectly since they're able to create their own anticoagulant, and then help the tissue form back properly — it's another living being, so maybe knowing someone is there to help him will work more than just a bandage that rests there without doing anything. ]

They must have told you about him, right? The old Subaru Akehoshi.

[a keen difference is that he picks up the other knows something with his word choice, there, and like a stray dog he stares cautiously at midori, gauging him for a second, before looking away again as he answers.]

I [he] wasn't weak. I [he] just trusted too much, and...

[...]

And because of that, I [he] didn't think to try and listen to other people. Even if I [he] asked, I [he] thought I [he] knew better. That sorta thing.

[he leaves the other question unanswered, because no one but two others know.]

[ so he still believes that person to be him, even though that person before probably wouldn't want to be the person now. as he speaks, the subaru before was reckless, and did what he thought was right because he knew better, so where does it leave this subaru? ]

Do you want to be better than the one before?

[ he'll note that subaru ignored the one question, writing it down to return to later. ]

You can be honest... what's spoken in this room stays. Even someone like me has changed, too... but that's one thing that stays the same: change.

[he hesitates,

thinks that the other him, the one who's skin he's wearing,

must've been a hell of a guy, to be the way he was and yet still have so many friends. they're his friends too, but they aren't at the same time. the subaru they made the memories he shares with them is, as natsume might put it, dead. taken away by god and passed on just a month too early. in a sense, this is his new life.

it slips out, almost too soft to be heard;]

I wanna be him, just.. better, yeah.

[because the memories fill in that he decided to try something a little new with a fresh start at a school, decided to be a little less bad and loose and a little more good, a little more thoughtful of others.

subaru akehoshi is always a bright, sunny person. subaru akehoshi always puts his friends first. subaru akehoshi is someone who likes to tag along to things for fun, just to spend time with others. determined. smart. has a knack for physical activities and loves to sing. these are facts that he knows coincide with the him he is now and the one that chose to become who he is now, betting on red in a gamble he should've bet on black.

...

who is subaru akehoshi without those memories? the question doesn't plague him as much as it did prior to choosing to lose them, replaced with a different query.]

[ it's easy to hear his voice growing lower, down a few decibels, but he can still make out what's said. he's lucky there's no oncoming storm with pouring rain, or he would have missed it. if midori wanted, he could stand up, take a seat on the cot, and be in the male's company that seems so distraught over what can be fixed to make the old him better, and what can be changed to make the new him fit in around all his peers; loved and well-received.

midori sets his clipboard down onto his lap, and his hand curled rests against it. ]

Would you want to better his flaws, or obtain new strengths?

[ that's separate from the flaws, it's almost like overcompensating, but what he does better in another field hides where he lacks. no one will notice those glaring holes in his personality unless they know him well enough, but if he puts efforts into everything, then no one will be able to notice. what it comes down to is if subaru wants those holes to be seen, like now, despite his efforts to hide those parts of him, midori continues to peel back layers and layers until he's located the benign cancer deep within. if nurtured, subaru can make it become malicious, and it'll hurt him, and he'll hurt himself in order to achieve a new form because the old skin doesn't fit him anymore. he'll want new, clean, healthier skin... but if midori's quick enough, he can cut out the sick easily. ]

Depending on your answer, it's something I can help you with. Achieving what may seem like an impossibility possible.

[ because he's from asunaro, and nothing is out of their reach. they can make anything possible, anything happen as long as a person can put in the effort. ]

But it has to be what you really want, Subaru.

Jeez, you sure have some difficult questions, Doc~.

[...

but it's a stall, mostly, because subaru has to decide what he wants. better the old him's flaws? would that have helped with amami? would it have saved the arisu twins, would it have saved keigo? would it have saved himself? he doesn't regret what he did, and he knows he'd do it again and again and again and again—

(is that a flaw?)

obtaining new strengths... would mean what? subaru's quiet, then shrugs.]

I dunno. [honest.] I'll think about it, so lemme go back to the other question a sec.

[the one he ignored.]

... Only two people in school know about me, you know, not being who I was before. How and why, too. I've been pretty careful to be the "Subaru" everyone else knows, [some slips aside,] but... there's just certain things that're different between me now and me before. Like, I can tell? Conversations and such that don't feel right, blocked out and stuff, or entire hang outs that feel...

[...]

Fuzzy.

[vague wisps of acknowledgement, the sort of text you'd see in a game -- "you spent a long time together / the bond between you and your friends grew stronger / you spoke of various things"]

So, it's not like people have told me or anything like that, I know how I was, it's just... the why I was that way is different than before. You know? So it's pretty hard to keep up the illusion.

Difficult, but are they helping you?

[ he could say no that it's a waste of time, but if subaru can think on these questions to try and understand what it is he wants, then maybe difficult questions are doing some good. midori leans back against his chair, legs cross the other way to keep up that sophisticated air of him as he marks out the question on his notes, and he writes down the answer that's spoken. is subaru sure? is this right? or is he saying anything to hope he's hit the nail on the head, and no one will try to pull it out the wood that he isn't sure that's sturdy or not? ]

I see.

[ but who is that for? keeping up an illusion is to keep them happy, or keep himself from questioning why he's the way he is? another mask, a third mask, rather than showing his true face, he hides behind the "mask" that pretends to be the old subaru, and the face he has now isn't shown to anyone unless he slips. ]

What happens if we strip you of the illusion, do you believe the foundation that makes "you" will collapse because you have no base?

[ can he live without being the person he was before, because relying on that face means relying on his strengths and weaknesses, and then he'll mold himself back into what he used to be.

that doesn't seem to be the idea as of now. ]

They help.

[though he can't say why he's even thinking instead of shaking it off. it's because of the people he's met here, the ones who continued to press those questions to him and the care he has for them that makes him want to think, to answer. he could just throw them aside—

it's easier just to float through life, after all. easier to swing to the music that plays, not to make your own, and the view shafts awkwardly against the memories he saw in natsume's dream: a boy who desperately wanted to do just that, and yet had a rhythm that outpaced those around him. something he ignored, couldn't hear, and that every one else could.]

Mm... No, I think I'm pretty solid there.

[he is who he is. there are unchangeable, immutable things, things that he does naturally and feels right. there are... certain things that are different, he knows, but the base of what makes him him is still there.

the levels are different, maybe, as he searches through and compares what he knows of himself to how he's been in yogen, how he was on the mountain, the way natsume reacted and the memories he experienced through the other.]

It's more... will the people who know me now still like me? Like, some of 'em aren't my usual crowd at all, y'know? Take... Nene for example, you seen her around? Sweet gal, thoughtful of her friends, but sorta takes burdens onto her own shoulders. A girl like that would've never been in my list of pals back home, but someone like...

[hmmm... he weighs the people he knows in mind, then settles on one.]

Yori-chan probably would've been. Easy to pull into things, but just enough fire that teasing him's fun. But if anyone looked at him the wrong way, I would kick their teeth in. That sorta thing. It's got my head in a spin.

[...

you know, definitely the reason he's here. the headache. he doesn't have a headache, but these are things that bother him. being assured that nothing'll leave this room is enough, though, and it helps that he's been conditioned by someone else to speak up when asked.]

Why must you choose them?

[ out of the choices to hear that one person doesn't fit, but another does, he thinks that subaru places too many limiters rather than giving himself a stopper. he limits himself from ideas that could be good for him, and that way he's delaying change, and that'll cause problems with others around him. a stopper is the best lightening rod, it comes down once, and places a barrier in front of him in order to keep him from doing anything reckless. ]

What about those who wish to choose you? That means they like you for something, doesn't it...

[ because how will he know if they like him when he's like a child digging in a box for those that stand out to him? it truly is quite arrogant of him to do, and makes those around him lesser than people. even with the role that shin takes, he's nothing but a target for his humor, and a toy to protect if someone acts aggressive towards him.

is shin only part of this group because subaru dragged him in, or was it by his choice because of their relationship? ah, he's very curious. ]

You can be a choice as well, Subaru.

[what about those who wish to choose you and you can be a choice as well, subaru strike him so much he can't hide how taken aback he is, eyes widening. they stay that way just a moment before he looks away, ashamed, and then tucks more into the cot.

damn, he's a real shitty person.]

... Even now, yeah, I guess I am. I mean, one of the people who knows chose me after the fact, and... even if the other took some time, they accepted it, too. Not that I'd call them happy about it or anything, but... They talk to me, at least.

[which was a relief then, and is clearly a relief now. he's a choice too... it'll have to be a sentiment he repeats to himself, to erode the cracked wall he'd begun to put around himself in fear, but midori is right.]

So... should I like, be honest then? And tell the rest of 'em what's up.

[ the genuine surprise is a nice change of pace, that means they're going down an avenue that hasn't been investigated yet— something new, it's like an open plain for him to run around in, and look at the flowers that grow in this hidden place. it's all for him, a garden for him to grow. how did that quote go— people have forgotten this truth" the fox said, "but you mustn't forget it. you become responsible forever for what you've tamed. you're responsible for your rose."

and if their rose has done something to their memories, he is still their valuable rose because there is only one subaru who could do that to himself and become how he is now. ]

And that makes you happy that they accepted you just a little, despite all odds. That's a wonderful thing.

[ to be wanted even after the pain, to know that someone will remain by his side even if he feels like he doesn't quite click with them. those are bonds, they're irreplaceable, and no matter who he is or who he becomes, he's still subaru down at his core. memories are different from the soul. ]

There's no need to rush, but there's no need to stall either... We can find a happy middle.

[ there's a smile, nodding to reassure the other. ]

Unless, you want them to know, if you wish to no longer hide it... [ that's him giving himself without someone asking, if they do not ask, then they're satisfied. though, he's sure that subaru still wants an opening to express himself without forcing them to swallow down his words— ] They can choose you by asking the right questions, a simple... "how are you?"

[ that leads into the rabbit hole, but he should know how much to give in moderation when that question is asked. ]

[a simple "how are you". normally brushed aside with a "the usual / fine / same as ever," but something he can drop a little more into if he wants. subaru plays with it in his mind, small scenarios that play out like the movie scenes he'd dreamed of just last month, and he rewrites the script over and over and over over over,

until he scraps it and decides you can't script people, no matter how much you know them. they may hate him for what he did to their precious rose, no matter if the seed he came from was the same. how he plucked every petal and left only thorns, how he decided to put a glass case painted with the missing pieces instead of confessing to his crime. they might understand, might pity him, might be angry he'd felt the need to hide it at all-- he isn't the only person who's done something unforgivable, or felt that he had. he isn't the only person who's killed someone, figurative as it was.

...

subaru turns his head from the wall, finally, and back to midori, inhaling softly and exhaling just as quietly.]

I don't want to be fake around them, [he admits.] I... want those friends he-- I had, I wanna feel like I deserve 'em. So they oughta know. They... can decide for themselves if they wanna be friends after that, but I hope they do.

[he hopes that their bonds aren't so fragile that a little battering would break them. no, this might not be just a little battering in their eyes -- this could be so much more, in some, and even less than that in others.

nonetheless, it does give him a little... a little hope, if he has to be honest with himself, even if he'd dismissed it with helena in his grief. a small ball of warmth, of comfort that eases the hesitation, and he grins a little.]

You're not half bad for a school nurse, Doc.

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APRIL EVENT LOG/TDM

THUGBARU

HES HERE!!!

LOOK AT MY LIL THUGGY!

THERE HE IS!!!!!

THATS MY BOY!!!

NOT UR LIL SQUISHY!!!

I WANNA SQUEEZE HIM SO HE CAN SQUEAK SQUAWK

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return to question.

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return to question (2), question revisited (1).

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