(may catch-all) the cool kids table, but rika's the only cool kid

[unsurely]

‣ WHO: Shuichi Saihara & a bunch of people!
‣ WHEN: All throughout May.
‣ WHERE: Various locations.
‣ WHAT: Catch-all for May starters.
‣ WARNINGS: Just mild NDRV3 & SDR2 spoilers so far, subject to change.

◦ ◦ ◦

Tfw neither you nor like half of everyone you have plans with top-level, so this happens. I'm using this to write starters for people based on stuff we discussed beforehand. No open prompts, but if you want something specific with me or Saihara during May, I'm still up for that and you're free to throw a starter in here!

Alternately, hit me up via Plurk at garlemald or contact me on Discord at Rina#8760 whenever to discuss.

Comments

[mild V3 spoilers] may 3rd / closed to komaeda (@raffle)

[unsurely]

...

[ No matter what he does, his mind won't clear.

"Geez... you're still looking into that stuff? Just give it up, man. Nobody else even cares to know."

That's... not true! It isn't! There are still people in the school beside him who don't feel comfortable with the murder left unsolved; he knows there are. There are others still worried about their missing friends, there are others who think things don't add up, there are others who find... all of this strange. And Momota... the Momota Kaito he knows would never say that.

"And how would you even know? If only you hadn't revealed the truth, he'd still be--"

That's Harukawa's voice this time, accusing and tinged with hurt at the same time, and cut off at the end by the frantic clap of Saihara's own hand over his ear, in the direction it seemed to come from. Not that it helps drown it out. It's not like the words have a source to actually silence, so they continue undeterred; or maybe he just knows what they would have said regardless.

It's been two days of this already. He knows they aren't real, but that doesn't make it stop, and he's nearing his limit. Stumbling slightly, he tries to blank out as much of his mind as he can, to think only of the practical things before him. The stairs he just finished climbing... the hallway itself... and the door to the 1-D homeroom. He doesn't even know if the person he's looking for will be in there, and yet he calls out as he pushes that open, peering inside. The mist is here too. ]

Komaeda-kun...? Are you around? It's... ah, it's Saihara. I just... wanted to talk, if you have a minute.

[ He just... needs to hear someone else's voice, someone he knows without a trace of doubt is in this school. And maybe... selfishly enough, someone who doesn't know about these things. Who won't bring them up. ]

[mild sdr2 spoilers]

[commences]

( the difference between him and everyone in this school who are in a constant war against themselves and their imagination is that komaeda welcomes his, and he remains trapped in the idea of sharing his time with the person he adores? it's hard to tell whether he's been caught in the trap of this school due to his own shortcomings, or if he's taking advantage of what's being given — he can't be picky, especially since it's been awhile. as said before, his affection towards hope is genuine and pure, there's no such thing as idolization in his heart when he can give his entire person to the cause. his unhealthy fixation still digs into the root of his core, enabling his decision to sit on a desk within the room, and stare in one direction in the corner.

between what he knows and his crumbling sanity, he's unable to turn away from the shadow because like this, he finds that he's happy and satisfied. )

...It's pretty pathetic, isn't it?

( his voice light as a feather, and the breath he takes after those few words is worrying, and the lack of concern for anything or anyone at all outside of him is a delight. ever since his "arrival," komaeda's been interrupted time, and time again so the moment he thinks things will be different —

"... wanted to talk, if you have a minute."

a familiar voice that belongs to a familiar person that's lost within the overly familiar mist that incites their company reaches him, and in response, komaeda stays still. it's hard to turn his gaze away from him, and he mouths an apology as he turns in the ultimate detective's direction. for a brief moment, saihara will witness two blurry, red dots staring directly at him, until they disappear, and that's the other ultimate closing his eyes to think about how to respond. instantly, komaeda smiles brightly as his eyes part open once more, normal, and he finally speaks up. )

I shouldn't be surprised, a talented individual such as yourself would be drawn to him!

( it's natural, the way of life for ultimates to surround hope, they come from far and wide to be in his presence. really, who would deny the chance? )

[unsurely]

[ What...? Was that part of the hallucinations too? It has to have been, because the moment he refocuses after rubbing his eyes for the thirtieth time this evening, the red he could have sworn he was seeing in place of Komaeda's eyes is gone. It does give him pause though, causing Saihara to linger in the doorway for longer than he'd intended, hand hesitant to leave the handle as he casts a shadow across the floor.

Something's wrong. ]

Him...?

[ Considering everything, it wouldn't be too surprising if Komaeda was hearing or seeing something too. At least it does wonders at returning Saihara's own sense of reality to him for the moment, while his eyes scour the room just in case. He finds it... unsurprisingly, empty of anyone else. ]

What... are you talking about?

[ Even as he asks it, the sense of dread that makes his heart skip a beat in his chest says he shouldn't have. Even as he takes his first step into the room, freeing the door to swing closed behind him at last, the way he almost holds his breath sends a shiver down his spine, seeming to scream at him that he's made a bad choice. He should be running away instead. He shouldn't be... trying to address this, whatever it is.

But he's seen it. And now that he has, he can't just... look away and leave Komaeda to it. ]

[commences]

( that'll be a bridge they'll cross later in the future is what this instance should be, but it's unfortunate that saihara had to visit komaeda of all people. that friendly air that normally surrounds him is lacking within their closed vicinity, and it's ominous with how silent komaeda remains. as for someone who likes to explain their thoughts and ideals, the joy he gets from spinning around his words and pulling others into his little whims for hope — should he really be this quiet? )

Who.

( it's hardly audible, but it's easy to tell that komaeda's offended by the other's naivety, especially when someone important is here in this room. it's not "what," but "who." they've always valued this specific blessing, and even if other's haven't, the ultimate has gone out his way to instill it into others. saihara will be no different, he's no different, because that "blessing" is why they're all here in the first place, what has brought them into this predicament. )

Is it that hard for you to understand, Saihara-kun...

( there isn't much of an explanation behind it, well, not one komaeda's really willing to give on his own. he contemplates for a moment, his head turning every so often to look back in that one lone corner. he stares for a moment, sighing afterwards, before turning back properly towards saihara. sliding off the desk, the metal chain to his attire scrapes along the surface to signal that he's moving. his shoes connect with the surface of the floor, and komaeda stands properly as he slips his hands into the pockets of his jacket. )

"Open your eyes." ( he takes one step forward. ) That's what they've kept telling us.

( he pauses, thinking, yes, this is obviously what they meant. though, komaeda doesn't understand how wrong he is, but that's what happens when you're too caught up by self-righteous thoughts. )

It was to prepare us for this.

may 6th / closed to ouma (@liesexual)

[unsurely]

[ The dimmed light of the post-6PM hallways feels almost a blessing, after how bright everything's seemed in the sun all day. Even with a nap in the nurse's office for an hour or two, the only thing that had gotten better was his headache, but the surreal sensation persisted like a veil over everything. Only now, after everyone's gone, as Saihara rubs at his eyes and keeps walking, his vision feels clearer than it has, lending security to his steps that he hasn't yet had since this morning. Or since earlier, really, considering what went on in the school during Golden Week, after the intangible repairmen had gone.

It still feels mostly like a fever dream, but the effects it left are real; he's more than exhausted, and frayed at the edges as if about to break. Routine work like this, checking things around the school and verifying everything, might just be the only thing that still keeps him together.

The auction display cases are only a regular item on his list -- though this time, there's a figure in there he hadn't expected to see. ]

...Ouma-kun?

[ Come to think of it... he'd spotted no trace of him through the whole ordeal -- and while that doesn't necessarily mean anything... where was he? No matter how tired Saihara is, seeing Ouma in front of the case still has the power to get the gears inside his mind to start turning. ]

What are you doing here?

aaaaaaaaa

[trialbyliar]

[The body, at least, makes him feel like it's not all for nothing.

Time feels weird. It's not just the strangeness of the school. His stint at the Ultimate Academy had felt like an eternity, murders and investigations and trials and executions with just enough time in between to sit an stew in it all. But he's already been here far longer than he spent there. Months of being on edge, watching his back, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Barely sleeping for lack of anywhere truly safe to do so, barely eating in an attempt to accomplish something in this drawn-out, tense monotony of daily school life.

The haze of the fumigation was a break from the routine, but not a nice one. The less said about that, the better.

And through all of it, what progress has he even made? Still no concrete answers about anything, multiple corpses without culprits – they'd have all been long dead by now, if this were the same kind of killing game as the last one. At this point, it feels like he's just killing himself slowly because it's all he knows how to do anymore. It's morbid as fuck, but the body on display at least reminds him that there's a purpose to all of it. There's an important clue within reach, just days away. He can do this.

But he must have been more out of it than he realized – than he was ever comfortable being, really. He hadn't even heard the auditorium doors open. Shuichi's voice takes him by surprise, and he startles a little, barely keeping himself from whipping around to face a threat.

(Not a threat. Not an immediate one, anyway. Even in the worst case scenario, he didn't think Shuichi was likely to kill him here – there'd been plenty of opportunities already if that had ever been a goal. No, this isn't that kind of game.)

Stock-still for a second, Kokichi takes that moment to gather himself. He plasters on a smile – shakier than he'd like to admit – and glances over his shoulder, giving a careless wave.]

Ehh? I'm just spending some quality friend with Body-chan. What are you doing, sneaking up on people in the dark like this?

[Deflect, reverse. It's habit by now, even when he's far from at his best.]

[unsurely]

It isn't dark yet. You could have seen me just fine.

[ Well, it's starting to be, outside at least. The evening's been setting in, and the lights in the building have switched automatically to their after-school dimness, but they haven't completely turned off the way they do at midnight. So his argument holds, as tiredly as he offers it; he's not in the mood for this after... everything.

Ouma looks like a mess, himself. Maybe it's because of his own exhaustion, that somehow makes it easier to relate, but Saihara finds it easier to tell than usual -- from the pause in his demeanor, the somehow subtle lack of flavor in that expression, the bit of sluggishness in the other's moves. The dark circles around his eyes seem more pronounced as well. He doesn't think it's faked. ]

...How do you know it's a body?

[ He asks as he draws closer, stopping just short a few steps from Ouma, at the other end of the case. This way, the display is almost between them, like a separator of sorts, and he can look at the person inside it one more time. Still unchanged from before. It's a thought he hasn't shared with anyone else yet -- he's come close a few times, but always changed his mind. He's not quite sure what makes him say it now. ]

[trialbyliar]

[Dark enough. Let him cling to this excuse.]

Well, I do have eyes. I've even been told they're super pretty!

[He glances at Shuichi around the side of the case and bats his lashes – much less long and thick than Shuichi's, honestly – and grins.]

Buuut that's a lie.

[His usual habit? An attempt at levity while they both radiate weariness? Who can really say at this point?

He's already gone back to quietly staring at the body, but his eyes flick over to Shuichi, and...well, he really does look like shit. Kokichi probably does too, but he's trying to ignore his own reflection in the display case. Either way, it's a depressing symptom of their current situation. Even the Ultimate Academy hadn't been so soul-crushingly tiring, even at its darkest moments. Maybe it's that that prompts Kokichi to throw the detective a bone. Even he knows how exhausting his typical runaround must get sometimes.]

...I didn't say it was a lifeless body, though.

[It's casual. He doesn't look at Shuichi while saying it. But it's...an acknowledgement, maybe.]

may 9th / closed to rika (@contrarily)

[unsurely]

I could only find four of them... but it's better than nothing, right?

[ The unfortunate matter of this being the weekend at school, which means most of the trash has been taken out by now and they can't count on that. Still, rummaging diligently around the homerooms, by the time he walks out of the last one with a reusable plastic bag someone had also forgotten somewhere, he does have what they need. As he holds it up to show Rika for proof, mismatched bottles in the exact quantity he mentioned shuffle emptily inside it, tapping against each other a few times.

He doesn't know if she's found any too... actually, what was she even up to while he searched? But well, it's her plan so Saihara doesn't mind doing the work for her as fair trade. He just casts a curious glance towards the door of the bathroom nearby, since that was their established meeting point once he'd checked all the floors. Or well, they're closer to the 4th floor stairwell right now, but that general area. ]

Ah, I suppose... if we did manage to get water, it's just enough that we could share with Norton-san and Komaeda-kun.

[ How is she planning to do this though? Time to look at Rika like she's a book and we're turning the page to the most important part of the story. ]

cool kid has arrived

[contrarily]

( first rule of fight club hanging out with rika: don't ask her how she knows things. she just does, ok. for once, punching things almost blindly came in handy — the void school had disappeared from around her, as soon as she'd angrily swung at a mirror, traces of red still visible on her hand. none of that matters, though, because she'd seen something much more important, namely: clean water. it's been a subject of debate lately, what with people trying out different filters, but...

there's no doubt in her head that the water she'd seen in the Other School had been clean as crystal. tasted good, too, and yes, she drank it without even thinking as soon as she saw it's clean, leave her alone.

anyway, from there, she gets the idea that maybe... just maybe they could bring some back. hence sending shuichi on a mission to look through trashcans for empty bottles (because she is not. doing that) in an attempt to Go In and take water back from the Other School. as for what the other school actually is... well. shuichi's the sherlock homo here, so he can figure that out. )

Ew, why would I share? ( well, she would with norton. komaeda... debatable.

anyway: ) Well, it's simple! You just gotta... ( and she whips out the scalpel she'd acquired from norton recently, showing it off to shuichi triumphantly. ) Let some blood out!

( and then she realizes her voice might be getting a little too high, in an attempt to mask any nervousness this brings forth. ... well... anyway! )

Hope you aren't gonna faint when you see it. Boys are such wusses sometimes...

will she tell the shades that he asked for no pickles

[unsurely]

[ What does she mean, why would she share!? He's about to only question that, like a normal person, when the scalpel comes out and he catches the glint of the blade for a second... before it sinks in and he yelps as if someone had stepped on his foot, jumping instantly to alert. Thanks, Rika!!!

Also: you have to what!? It kind of makes sense in retrospect with a couple of conversations he'd overheard over dinner the other evening, as casual chatter... but still. That sure doesn't mean that he has to like it. And after everything they just went through with the fumigation, he'd kind of just... hoped they were more hallucinations?? ]

...I'm not going to faint.

[ Why does that still bother him enough that he mumbles an argument? It's just... how does she even see him? He's not that unreliable, is he? But then he takes a better look at her, and the way she's kind of just sweeping it under the rug and, well. He kind of gets it... he supposes. ]

W-Wait, though. Just wait. How much blood do you even need? And why do you have that in the first place?

[ He eyes the scalpel tiredly, like he wishes he could unsee it but alas. ]

YES protec this lil man at all costs

[contrarily]

If you say so. ~

( she says that like she's not entirely convinced, cause let's be real, one can totally imagine shuichi being one of these kids who faint when they have to get their blood drawn.

still, she supposes he is one of the more trustworthy people around here... even if that's not saying much, considering a lot of them are just shady by default. )

Dunno how much exactly, but, uh. It has to be enough to hit the floor. ( she shrugs, figuring a couple droplets would be enough. ) Oh, that? Nortykins gave it to me for protection!

( so she can stab people. or rather, so she can threaten to stab people and then realize that the only person she's actually capable of stabbing is herself. ... which is what she's doing now, extending her arm and digging the scalpel into flesh, just deep enough to make a shallow cut, reaching over to spread it open with her fingers. the blood flows out faster if you do it, ok... )

may 8

[adsum]

[ Sometimes your brother stabs a man and has to go to counseling for it after school each day, and instead of going home without him, you're a good sister who waits for his session to finish. There is no student council meeting today, and nobody really stays for club on Saturdays anyways when they can get a head start on their weekend, but there isn't any other place for her than the music room she finds herself in, glad for it to be empty. Glad she doesn't have to spend the hour and a half playing choral pieces.

The door is closed, not entirely because she doesn't mean to be disturbed, but the other way around too- the song starts off slow and calm, but barely half a minute passes before it becomes distinctly angry, fingers pounding the keys without a break until it ends with a trill, silence, and an audible ]

Fuck.

I'M CRYING did you just have that on hand

[unsurely]

[ There are about two, maybe three... okay, five moments of peace that follow, before running footsteps she might hear outside, and the door to the music room ends up opening without warning. The handle rattles from the suddenness of that move, and in peers a visibly concerned Shuichi. It's difficult to tell if the reason for that tense hesitation is what he heard, or if he's not half just worried he'll be killed for daring to in the first place. Maybe it's both.

But it's... really difficult to ignore things like these when it's someone you know. ]

Arisu-san...!? Did something happen? Ah, are you alright...?

[ He's gonna ask that first because it's still his main concern, even over everything else. What if... something broke or she got physically hurt or something? Explaining how he even knew it was her, obviously before ever coming in with how quick he was to say it, can come after. ]

asdfljhk yea i've known for weeks exactly what song I needed maya to play for him

[adsum]

[ She whips around when the door bursts open, eyes narrowing initially out of surprise when she sees who it is, and then a little more, as if she's put off by his words. Concern. The suggestion that something happened to her and she couldn't handle herself? She looks fine, slowly turning back around to face the sheet music on the piano stand and hissing her breath out through her teeth, fists unclenching at her sides.

"Nothing happened." "I'm fine." Both these things are on the tip of her tongue, but they aren't truths and so she does not say them. ]

Some bastard cut the piano strings. Can you figure out who did it?

it's beautiful and shuichi loved it, he has no choice bc i said so

[unsurely]

Ah... probably. Or at least, there might be evidence that can help narrow it down.

[ He looked about to bolt until a second ago, but it's like her saying that unlocks a secret special mode that has Shuichi suddenly able to walk in, while the door swings closed behind him on its own. He still can't look at her yet, the narrowed eyes still too fresh in his mind, but now that he's got something to think about... he can bypass the embarrassment.

Or maybe it's the part where she's giving him an in to be useful somehow. ]

We should check what strings were cut first. You were able to play for a while with it like this... so I don't think it would have been all of them, or too many.

[ There might be a pattern. ]

may 11th, after the meeting

[trialbyliar]

[There are things to discuss.

It's after the group meeting has ended, everyone slowly beginning to disperse to do whatever they plan to for the rest of the night, that Kokichi sidles up beside Shuichi, catching him by the cuff of his sleeve.]

I need to borrow Saihara-chan for a bit!

[If Shuichi was chatting with someone, then too bad. Kokichi doesn't wait for an answer before dragging the detective along with him and heading for the door.]

[unsurely]

[ ...He does!? It takes him a minute to readjust, from where he'd braced himself at least for whatever Ouma might want on the spot, but he hadn't imagined he'd get dragged off.

After a stumbled first couple of steps though, he gets his bearings and catches up, falling in place beside the other as they exit the room. Once in the hallway, he can't help but cast a glance at his captive sleeve... wondering if and when Ouma plans to let go, or whether he even needs to still pull him like that, yet not doing anything to free himself either because that's Saihara for you. ]

Where... exactly are we going?

[trialbyliar]

Somewhere a bit more private!

[He smirks as he says it, his voice singsong and the wink he gives Shuichi more than a little suggestive. Just teasing, of course. Or maybe it's to throw off anyone that might overhear as they leave the room, still milling with a few lingering transfer students.

He really doesn't want anyone eavesdropping on this, after all.

Dragging Shuichi along, Kokichi doesn't look like he's got a specific destination in mind, in no particular rush as he glances into classrooms to check for an empty one. Maybe he should break them into the nurse's office so they can have a locking door...? No, that'd definitely seem suspicious if anyone's watching.

As they walk, he pipes up in a conversational tone, not even bothering to look at Shuichi.]

Hey, Saihara-chan... Are we friends?

[Oof. One hell of a question, where they're concerned. Still gripping Shuichi's sleeve, he swings their arms between them playfully, idly.]

I know I can trust the Ultimate Detective of Truth and Justice to be honest with me.

[He snickers to himself, but the sideways glance he shoots Shuichi is...challenging, almost. Like he's reminding Shuichi of every trial, every time Shuichi's ever tried lying to him. "Tried" being the operative word there.]

[unsurely]

[ What...?

If the first thing Ouma said was just standard, barely worth the time or trouble, this one gives him pause. He'd been looking around, since it became pretty clear from the initial antics that they're looking for somewhere quiet, a place they can talk about something where no one can hear. He knew what to make of that part at least. But his eyes get drawn back by this as if magnetized almost, and it takes all the presence of mind he still has not to skip a step.

Unfortunately, even now his first impulse is to want to pull his arm free, like that question alone is enough to set off every alarm bell in his mind. What does Ouma want from him? He wouldn't be asking this without something more practical in mind, an ulterior motive behind it. Or would he...?

It's pretty clear from the way Saihara frowns, they sure lack the trust that a pair of friends would have had. ]

...Do you even want us to be?

[ Two people can play at this scrutiny game, so if the question sounds a little pointed or accusing do excuse him. The issue was pretty followed by bullshit after all -- he's none of those things and they both know. He side-eyes Ouma for a moment, trying to get a read on his face, before going back to being mindful of where they go. They've gone down one floor... so if with Saihara guiding them they end up in front of the music room like by reflex, then oh well.

:) ]

may 12th / closed to hinata (@futurebullets)

[unsurely]

[ There's something he's hand in mind for a while that he wanted to do, but... a lot of things happened, like the auction and the meeting and everything, which makes this really the first day he's finally had to breathe and start thinking about it again. So Saihara waits until lunch break, leaving his class as soon as he can to wind his way through the students that crowd the hallways, headed... to wherever they usually eat with their friends, he imagines. It must be nice to be able to go outside as you please, without needing a homeroom teacher and risking to get stuck there overnight, but anyway.

There's someone he has in mind for company too, though maybe for nothing as recreational as them. ]

Hinata-kun.

[ He knows the other would most likely be in his homeroom, since going to other floors implies stairs and... well. Issues. Understandable to be honest; even though Saihara himself chases most of it away, those memories still play in the back of his mind as well. It's a little... rough. So he softens his gaze just a bit while approaching the other boy's desk. ]

Sorry... am I bothering you? I was hoping you could come with me for a few minutes. If, um... if you didn't have other plans.

[ He knows this is sudden, sorry Hinata. ]

eyes emojis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[futurebullets]

...Saihara.

[His eyes widen a little bit in surprise, but the tension that's seemed to have made a home in his shoulders eases a little bit. The first half of this month has been painfully long and filled with difficult and painful things, and Hinata's felt the weight of that every day - a weight that's even heavier after some of the discussions last night. His classmates that have been whispering about the bandages on him don't really help much, either.

But around Saihara he can relax, things can become better, and that's no different than it has been over the last month. Part of him is a little embarrassed that he cares about someone so much in such a short period of time, but... There's no way that a feeling like this can be bad, no matter where it stems from. Hinata's felt like he's just constantly been going for his whole life, and only one other person has ever made him feel a fragment of this peace.

So the idea that he's bothering Hinata? Inconceivable.]

You're not bothering me at all. [He never is, but that's too embarrassing to say either.] I was only going to study a little, but it's nothing urgent that can't wait til later.

[Read: it's not English, so he won't instantly be doomed.

He's already standing from his seat, leaving a sheet of blank paper in his textbook to mark his place.]

Where did you want to go?

:3

[unsurely]

Ah... the art club room. It's only lunch break, right? So there probably... won't be anyone in there right now.

[ Unlike completely after class, when all the club activities take place. Which is relevant because reasons, but Saihara can't quite explain them in here; actually he wonders if he'll be able to explain it in proper terms at all, but if there's anyone he feels might understand him in the end no matter what... it's Hinata. That's why he's willing to try. Because Hinata trusts him -- and he trusts Hinata. He's not about to doubt that.

So he leaves it at that, hoping the other will just... know he has his reasons for not saying more right now. ]

Are your injuries... alright? It looked pretty bad when you left with Sena-kun.

[ He'll just inquire about that instead while they start to walk, filtering out through the door. (And if Hinata's classmates had been whispering about those bandages, and are now kind of eyeing them thanks to that, he tries to ignore it.) A little of his expression though, as they fall side by side in the hallway, does read a 'thank you' that stays unsaid. A soft note of gratitude for so much -- for the help the other time, for believing in him, for being willing to do this. Maybe just for... existing in his life. ]

it's been ten days and I still remember how loud I squeaked when I saw this in my inbox

[futurebullets]

[Ah. Whatever it is, it's probably something sensitive if he doesn't want anybody else around. That's the best conclusion that Hinata can reach without knowing anything else yet, so he'll nod simply and hope that the understanding reflects well on his face.]

...Got it. Let's get going, then.

[He ignores the classmates whispering about him as he gets up to leave with Saihara. By this point, he's used to it when it comes to both this and other things, so Hinata's learned to do his best to let it roll off of him (even if his best isn't always quite enough).

But he smiles warmly at him as they walk. Even if he doesn't know every depth of it, that soft message is delivered and received.]

It hurts still, but I'm doing okay. It might take a bit before it finishes healing, but it feels... a lot better than it did before.

may 24th, sdr2 spoilers

[commences]

♫
for your eyes only, i'll show you my heart
for when you're lonely, and forget who you are
i'm missing half of me, when we're apart
now you know me, for your eyes only.
within the realm of his final moments, a symphony will play as the end for him, and the beginning for others who stumbles upon the aftermath of his plan. this plan never had to exist, naturally it could've been avoided, but to komaeda, it felt like he's being toyed with, and was meant to act out. that one voice, soft, light as a feather that serenades his attention plays over, and over in his mind that enables him. if that person never came to him, if he never spoke his truth, then what were the chances of komaeda putting himself in this position? where he has peer through the glass windows with a knife in hand, and his grip tightens every second from his urge to fix what was broken.

the words that continuously haunt him, causing his mind to crack in every way possible are few, from how they were said, why they were said, who said them. it's why he responds the way he does. "it's empty... just like you.", komaeda wonders if he meant it? as of now, he's filled with a mixture of desperation and need that it's overflowing, and his body shivers from it. it's unfair, why should he feel so much that he doesn't understand, and why was it him to do that? there's another line that stood out to him, and why his heart skips a beat: "i just... wanted to see you." )

I want... ( he sighs, ) to see you too...

( that's why he's willing to do this, their time apart has been too far and wide, and unfortunately komaeda registers this as abandonment. why hasn't saihara came to see him? speak with him? with the school in their way, preventing them from seeing one another, and the bad luck that's come from saihara winning the prize of going outside — he mentally can't stand it. then so be it, komaeda will find some way to bring the other back inside, back to him. his free hand lifts, his organic fingers press against the screen of the window as looks out longingly, and then his eyes widen once he sees him. without any hesitation, he proceeds to tap the sharp end of the knife against the glass to catch his attention. )