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npc contact.2
As the game progresses, different npc faculty and students will become available for threading. To request a thread, please comment below with the name of the npc and the ic date in the subject header. Threads may be cut short due to mod availability, so please have a reason in mind for the interaction.
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Not if he's quick enough, and if people don't suspect him. It's not that I don't trust you, or don't value your help, or think you're not capable... but the most dangerous thing here is to involve more people than necessary.
[ It's a two person job. Maybe if Akki weren't here, Rokkun would be forced to ask somebody else, but that isn't the case yet. ]
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( god. they are so, so stupid. she knows this will not end well. there's NO way this will end well. )
Whatever. Whatever!! You idiots can do whatever you want! But... you're dumb, and you clearly can't be trusted with any bigger plans, so... if you need help, promise me you'll ask!! Even if it's... something small, I... don't wanna watch you die 'cause you followed Rocchi into something insane. He's even stupider than you!!
( she's clearly frustrated, lashing out, but... it's a sign she cares. there's no easy way to admit these things, with rika; she'll always take hurling insults over outwardly confessing to any positive feelings, so... )
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Uneasy, Akki rubs at the back of his neck, because... yeah. Yeah. It's the feeling of being in too deep, you don't know where to begin asking for help. ]
I promise. ...You still owe me a favor; I haven't forgotten.
[ That he needed her for something, but it isn't the right time yet, and how it constantly feels like a waiting game. ]
...Can I ask you a question?
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... then again, she doesn't think akki's exactly a fair judge on this, either. she also doesn't think he's the type to ask for help, if he's so reluctant to even agree, but... well... it does make her feel better to hear him promise it. )
... yeah, I do. ( she agrees; vaguely, she remembers he was going to ask her for something, but then never did.
hm... )
Sure... ?
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It's a question brought by impulse, and he hasn't had the chance to put it together in words any more coherent than the snippets that float around in his mind. So he doesn't answer right away, staring down at Rika's shoes for a moment before looking up at her. ]
Which do you believe is stronger: rage, grief, or joy?
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god, she wishes she could be the kind of a person who answers this question with 'joy.' and, fuck, maybe to make it easy on herself, she should — but she doesn't. instead, she thinks about it, a little bitter; both joy and rage, they're temporary. they come and go as they please, small things setting them off — but grief... grief gnaws at your insides until you're all hollow; grief haunts your mind and heart, both, until you sink a knife into your flesh in hopes that it'll stop.
grief is like a festering wound; it might heal, someday, but it leaves an ugly scar, and the moment you scratch it open again, it hurts just the same as it did in the first place. a brush of someone's fingers — a stray memory — and you fall apart, like a house of cards, like you've never healed at all.
she looks down, at where her sleeve covers her arm, and narrows her eyes. )
... dunno, probably rage, right? ( but she still can't be truthful; still can't invite questions, in hopes of protecting the rotting scar over her heart.
anger's good, anyway. she's known to get angry quickly, so this seems like the right answer. ) Why?
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...That's what he said too, when I asked him. He said grief is like shackles bolting you against the ground, but rage pushes you forward... and he believed in rage. It's just... something I was curious about.
[ Not the full explanation, but not untrue either.
... ]
Feeling something is better than nothing, though. Just something I think would be good to keep in mind.
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( she snickers, a little amused, then shrugs. )
I dunno about that. Being empty isn't that bad, y'know? When you reach the point where nothing and no one matters... it sounds peaceful. ( and god knows she tried — failed, sure, because the extent of her emotion always overtakes whatever emptiness she feels inside, but...
well, it sounds nice.
not caring.
not worrying for these dumb, stupid idiots, and for whatever dumb, stupid plan they've got in mind. )
I'll fall apart soon, anyway. I... ( there's not much more loss she can take — not without heavy repercussions, anyway. ) Just make sure you stay safe, alright?
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I know you have a lot of people there to hold you together, so don't... don't talk like that. You have to be present if you want to make it in this place. If you just... stop... if you just give up... you can't move forward. You'll be stuck forever.
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in the end, this is her decision, she thinks. might not be the best one, but she's never been one to listen to others in regards to her own wellbeing. )
Dunno. If I wanna give up, there's nothing anyone can do about it! ( spoken cheerfully, as if she wasn't talking about —
well. ) We're all already stuck, aren't we?
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[ Isn't that what he just said? This place isn't forever, even if it feels like it, even with subconscious memories of years and years and years and years. ]
Don't you want to go home?
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( how can he be sure? there's no real proof this place's just gonna let them go — unless he's got some. )
... I do. And I don't. Unlike most people, I've got nothing waiting for me back home. ( except for her friends, sure, but... she doubts they need her that much. for the most part, she's just a mess and a burden, she thinks. )
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[ It can be something small. Like............... a video game that's not going to be out until 2002 ]