yogen | npc contact.2

( waiting for kazuki outside is... a nene! sitting beside an admittedly heavy planter that she carefully carried out. after all, it's been months since he gave her those seeds. surely he'd like to see their progress?

it took some experimenting to keep them all satisfied. the bleeding hearts are in full bloom, even now. the pheasant's eyes are smallest of the three, but bright and well bloomed despite the growing chill, and the foxgloves are tallest- and the ones she's most careful with.

she's raised them well, to keep them growing strong even as october starts. )

Kazuki-san... do you remember the seeds you gave me? I've been taking good care of them.

[ Oh... he can hear the extra weight in her steps, careful as if holding onto something heavy but delicate at the same time, and turns towards her, stepping forward to fill the gap so she needn't walk all the way over to him. ]

I knew you would, lass. It has been quite some time since then.

[ Back when they were just seeds in an egg carton.

He goes ahead and sits down on the grass where he is, gesturing for Nene to do the same so she can rest her arms. ]

Mhm. It feels like so long ago...

( ... )

I'm sorry I didn't come see you a lot, in that time. I wanted to, but... ... I found that, I've hesitated a lot with people, here. I never used to be like that... and it's cost me precious time with so many. I didn't want you to become one of them, too.

( she doesn't move the planter often- the dorms was the main big migration, and she's kind of grateful for the skylight, providing it with such direct sunlight. )

[ The plants are doing well. He can't see them, but his hands lightly brush the soil, the stalks, the leaves, and he can tell. ]

I do not mind. That you thought to see me now means more to me.

[ It's an echo of what he'd expressed to Helena, as somebody who is scarcely there in the first place, being alone is the norm; a visitor here and there, regardless of if it's weeks or months or years in between, they are times to be treasured. ]

( the last time they sat like this, nene wound up crying her heart out, and her chest still aches. but... she can't wallow. not now. and she doesn't want to force kazuki to walk her step by step through unwarranted guilt, either, so... )

Where did you get the seeds from, Kazuki-san? I never thought to ask before.... they don't look like anything I ever saw back home.

( which is meant fondly. )

Such plants grow all about the forest, but they are not native to the area. Over the years, they have been planted by the students in this school, or entrusted to me to tend to them.

[ Like sometimes you bonus regain poison flower seeds ]

Were they to your liking?

I love them. But... a friend told me a couple were toxic, so I've been really careful with them.

( but also like, how do you ask if your ghost dad deliberately gave you poisonous flowers... )

They're beautiful, though... I really enjoy taking care of them. Even if I wasn't familiar with what to do, getting to find out was fun.

[ ...They're pretty and that's what matters. ]

I am glad. There is simple joy in raising plants and learning what they are capable of. Some are dangerous, but those very plants may someday save a life. I had the same thoughts towards my students.

What was it like, when you were a teacher?

( he must have been one of the best. the sort who any kid could find comfort in... )

[ There's a quiet smile on his face as he thinks back to those days, this school, when it was smaller and simpler. ]

It was peaceful, and I was happy.

[ Compared to now... ]

I had never taught before, having lived in the forest, but I became curious of this school built amongst the trees. I spent some time watching the children here, before I was invited to join the staff, by that man who is your counselor now. He told me not to worry that I had no formal education myself. He would fill their heads with knowledge, and entrusted me to fill their hearts.

[ It was that sort of school, more of a daycare, honestly, than a formal school like it is now. He tells Nene of how he taught his students to garden— to nurture— to work hard and take care, to work together, to get along even when personalities and ideals clashed. He was proud of his students, and he had loved them.

He carefully leaves out the whole monster rampage and eating students thing. By then, he couldn't consider himself their teacher anymore. ]

( nene listens, thoughtful and quiet and accepting- even if he had brought it up, i think she'd accept him with the monster aspect too. it may not be her place to forgive- or maybe it is, maybe she's a former student of his reincarnated- but no one says anything about acceptance except for the person doing just that. )

... That really does sound nice. I wish I could see the school of that era. I haven't met the counselor yet... It sounds like there's someone crying in his office sometimes.

( or at least i remember that being a flavor text bit months ago, help. )

I bet your students must have really loved you.

Edited (CODE) 2021-10-10 04:54 (UTC)

[ Yeah, it does sound like that sometimes. How I know I had a good counseling session is when my face is covered with tears and snot and I can't breathe. It's fine. He's a ... counselor. ]

I can only hope so. It would be nice to return to such times, but that is not the way of the world...

[ He seems to contemplate something, then turns his head more fully towards Nene again. ]

He is a cherished friend. I hope you will meet him someday. But at the same time, I hope you will not need to.

( yeah she hopes she doesn't need to either- though, she definitely needs therapy, the guidance here comes at much too high a cost. )

... The world moves in cycles. Maybe- maybe it'll come around again. And things will be kinder here again.

( she says 'maybe', but. there's a certain resolution to her tone- she doesn't intend to leave this place as cruel as it is currently. but what can she do? ... )

[ PLEASE the nurse can always put in a good word for somebody who needs counseling without murdering, but nobody ever wants counseling and so nobody ever takes her up on that. ]

It may be so. But it would have to be done through effort, and all the kindness that we can afford. We will do what we can, won't we, lass?

Of course. ... No matter what... I want to leave this place better than I found it.

( but that's so much easier said than done. nene watches her flowers sway in the still air, the sky above them...

... )

Kazuki-san? How do you heal a hurting soul?

With kindness, care, and patience. The same you would for a friend.

[ It may sound simple, but there's so much that goes into it. ]

Patience especially is important, as is understanding... But I find that the most important thing you can do is to be there.

[ Doesn't have to be anything big or important. Just be there, the same way Kazuki stays by this tree's side long after his work is done. ]

( that does make sense... but. it also isn't what she needs. )

How could I help the ones in the tree?

( please give her a good answer childe wants to cut the tree down and komaeda wants chaos and she's so goddamn tired all the time with these deranged maniacs, never mind the fact that she personally holds the leash to like, five of them. )

[ Are they hurting? Kazuki tilts his head up at the tree, feeling for the life energy of all the students bound to it. ]

Patience and proximity both still hold. Those tethered to the tree are kept from disappearing into the ether. I can not claim to know for sure, but I would imagine that provides some security, at least for those who still retain hope for being their own person.

[ Hope to return to this school, because despite what it is, it is still a place where they are able to retain their identity, their memory, their hope of going home and returning to how things are "supposed" to be. There are many who, foolishly, optimistically, still hope for such a thing. ]

You must remember to help yourself first, lass, if you wish to help others.

( thinking about kazuki and komaeda both telling nene she needs to take better care of herself and not burden herself so much days before her stephanie-induced breakdown

anyways.

having to relive your death over and over seems pretty 'hurting'! but! fine, okay!

nene draws her legs in a little, listening. admittedly, she wants to retain 'nene yashiro' for as long as possible- a part of her wants to turn this whole situation into some isekai, where she can be reborn and keep herself as she is. she'll accept a quiet life like that, really. but... )

... I've been getting told that a lot, lately. ... When souls are in the tree. What's happening to them, exactly? I know it's holding them until they come back, but...

[ It's fine, they only relive their deaths if they're gorinto'd and people keep touching them, otherwise they won't even remember. Just like everybody here. ]

No harm is being done onto them, if that is your concern, lass. But neither will they grow unless they are a person, so they must not stay in this tree forever.

No, I don't think they're being hurt... but. We're wondering if there's a way to help them come back sooner. But it sounds like it's up to them, isn't it?

npc contact.2

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kazuki, early october

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