12/02 || un: n.sakasaki

[crystallomancy]

Winter. The Worst Season To Ever Exist. It's Cold And Wet And Gross, The Wind Goes Right Through You, And To Top It All Off, You Have To Watch Happy Couples Warm Each Other Up.

Fortunately, I Have Just The Thing To Help What Ails You. Let's Heat Things Up With A Debate, Shall We?

Every Food Can Either Be Categorized As A Soup, A Salad, Or A Sandwich. A Soup Is A Food Whose Liquid Content ("Soupiness") Is Deemed As "High". A Salad Is A Food Whose Liquid Content Is Deemed As Low ("Dressing"). A Sandwich Is Anything That Has What Could Feasibly Be Defined As Bread On Two Or More Sides.

Some Examples:

Pizza Is A Salad. The Liquid Ratio Is Almost None, Even In The Case Of The Greasiest Pizzas. While There Is Something That Can Be Defined As Bread ("The Crust"), It's Only On One Side. However, If You Fold A Pizza In Half, It Becomes A Sandwich.

Bread Bowl Soups Are Sandwiches. This Is Because It Functionally Has Bread On Two Or More Sides.

French Dip Sandwiches Are Soups, Despite Their Misleading Name. Dipping Them Into Au Jus Turns Them Incredibly Soggy, Leading To Their Classification.

Feel Free To Debate And Add Your Own Below. Just Don't Come To Blows Over This, Okay?

Comments

[carpevinum]

Caviar is wet, and due to it being eggs, that means the insides of the caviar are also wet. Caviar is simply shelled soup.

[commences]

can they become a sandwich if the inside remains alive?

[carpevinum]

If you were to wrap something still living in bread, would it become a sandwich? I believe it would. To answer that question, yes.

[commences]

yes, we are walking sandwiches after all...
if you could be any sandwich, what would you be?

[carpevinum]

A difficult question. I would pick something from the Devildom itself... let me see. Perhaps a vampire bat sandwich?

[commences]

vampire bat sandwich... huh, i've never tried. can you make that here?
it'd be a nice soup to share in the cold together with everyone.

[carpevinum]

If you can find me a vampire bat, yes, I could feasibly make that for you. It wouldn't be difficult.

[commences]

i'll keep that in mind, is there a special way to acquire them?

[carpevinum]

Here? I do not know. I haven't seen a living animal here. Devildom ingredients are typically difficult to acquire in the human world, though I wouldn't consider this the human world as it stands. I've noticed that things we wish for tend to show up from time to time, such as my whip and phone, so don't lose hope.

[oh fuck he said the word]

It's likely the ingredient might show up eventually.

[commences]

( HOPE! HOPE! HOPE! )

you know, there's a secret santa happening, maybe you should ask for a couple to see if they happen! do you think collectively asking for something will bring you all closer to what you desire? that's pretty hopeful, right?!

[carpevinum]

I suppose there is one, and I suppose it could happen. I wonder if it's possible for the student council members to get ingredients from the pits of Hell for me? I may just have to inquire.

[crystallomancy]

The Human Body Contains About 60% Water (Or Other Fluids), Which Is A Fairly Large Number...
AKA
Humans Are Soup.

[commences]

the skin is breading, sakasaki-kun!

[crystallomancy]

French Onion Soup Has Bread In It, But It's A Soup Regardless.

[starrypoint]

u have to think of it like a meat bun, natsume ♪

[commences]

does skin get soggy?

[starrypoint]

im on ur side!!!
a meat bun is a sandwich!!! we are walking meat buns so we're sandwiches!!!

[commences]

what type of meat is inside of sakasaki-kun, do you think!?

[crystallomancy]

We Contain More Liquid Than A Meat Bun. A Soup Dumpling Would've Been More Accurate.

[starrypoint]

meat buns can get pretty stewy on the inside tho but the point is that we're held together by dumpling wrap so we're a sandwich

i.sena

[notsosou]

[With all this talk of cannibalism, he has to set the record straight.]

A soup is only a soup if you can pour it...

[God now he's thinking about how a person could be poured this was a mistake actually he's feeling a little ill.]

Taken as a whole, humans are jelly at best.

[What is he even doing.]

[crystallomancy]

And Jelly Would Be Defined As...

( SOUP, SALAD, OR SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!! )

[notsosou]

A scone.

[He doesn't actually believe this, he's just here to defend soup's honor first and mess around second.]

[crystallomancy]

And Scones Are Salads.

[notsosou]

Ten points! But you have to give reasoning.

[This is what happens when you were grading papers before this derailed your day.]