12/02 || un: n.sakasaki

[crystallomancy]

Winter. The Worst Season To Ever Exist. It's Cold And Wet And Gross, The Wind Goes Right Through You, And To Top It All Off, You Have To Watch Happy Couples Warm Each Other Up.

Fortunately, I Have Just The Thing To Help What Ails You. Let's Heat Things Up With A Debate, Shall We?

Every Food Can Either Be Categorized As A Soup, A Salad, Or A Sandwich. A Soup Is A Food Whose Liquid Content ("Soupiness") Is Deemed As "High". A Salad Is A Food Whose Liquid Content Is Deemed As Low ("Dressing"). A Sandwich Is Anything That Has What Could Feasibly Be Defined As Bread On Two Or More Sides.

Some Examples:

Pizza Is A Salad. The Liquid Ratio Is Almost None, Even In The Case Of The Greasiest Pizzas. While There Is Something That Can Be Defined As Bread ("The Crust"), It's Only On One Side. However, If You Fold A Pizza In Half, It Becomes A Sandwich.

Bread Bowl Soups Are Sandwiches. This Is Because It Functionally Has Bread On Two Or More Sides.

French Dip Sandwiches Are Soups, Despite Their Misleading Name. Dipping Them Into Au Jus Turns Them Incredibly Soggy, Leading To Their Classification.

Feel Free To Debate And Add Your Own Below. Just Don't Come To Blows Over This, Okay?

Comments

[goodfaiths]

Wait, is toast a category now?

If it is, it's definitely toast! ^^

[notsosou]

No way all food can be sorted into just those three, so it is now!

[This is anarchy after all. We have people asking if lead is wet.]

Unless you consider toast a kind of proto-sandwich.

[A monowich, if you will.]

[goodfaiths]

Hm... Proto-sandwich sounds cooler!

[ same brain cell....same brain cell, Shintwin. ]

I think people might argue it's a salad, but the frozen pizza is a special, versatile case! It can't be defined by any of these three things alone, right?

[notsosou]

[The same brain cell...]

Right! It disqualifies it. So the question then becomes... what else is in the pizza/toast category?

[Frozen or otherwise?]

[goodfaiths]

Ummm...
Wait, we have to define it first, right? Just like Sakasaki-san did! Pizza has to have toppings, maybe? And toast is anything that's still edible even if it gets burnt?

[notsosou]

Something flat and edible with toppings is a good start... Although... you can have a pizza that's just the base, right?

[It'd be a very sad pizza, but you couldn't really call it anything else perhaps. Shin just admit you still want to shoehorn toast into this category, which itself doesn't require a topping.]

...Tricky. There's a lot that's still edible when burnt, but that differs by person, doesn't it?

[Like spiciness, some people have 'amount of charcoal' tolerance in their food.]

a week later--

[goodfaiths]

You're right! It does. Some people like burnt food! I can't stand it myself >< But people have different tolerances for that sort of thing...

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

[ when will toast be real ]

shh pats u

[notsosou]

Not sure why someone would willingly eat a brick but...

[But Shin is reluctant to fully discount burnt food because he's not a fan of it but also has had to eat it while crying because that was all the ingredients he could afford that week. After that disastrous attempt at home cooking he'd stuck to the microwave, which has never betrayed him except for when he put a bag of popcorn in it.]

Well, we're making a whole new category from scratch. Can't go by shape either, come to think of it.

[how can toast be real when our eyes aren't real]

[goodfaiths]

Um...different tastes?

[ It's a legit question though, Shin. Burnt food is gross, though Riku has no room to talk, given that he's made a ton of burnt food himself... ]

I guess not. Toast comes in different shapes and sizes! Maybe it has to have a certain texture to it? Or...anything that's really crunchy?

[notsosou]

Or no choice, possibly.

[Did he just almost type an 'ahaha'? Nope.]

Huh... Then it would automatically stop counting as soon as it gets soggy.

[There's a second where he stops to think about this, mulling it over as he looks up at the faculty ceiling before looking back down. Who eats soggy toast? ]

Which... actually makes sense, I guess. It has to stay flat... or at least hold up it's own weight.