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Please let August be better than July I'm begging

✽ Due to 10+ classes raising their ranks last month, ALL characters have access to the courtyard via the door in the locker area and the windows facing the courtyard.
✽ Characters with 1-10 tallies are not able to get any further past the end of the courtyard before they fall unconscious; characters with 10-20 can get halfway to the pool building before the same happens to them; characters with 20+ tallies can reach the pool building but unfortunately, the door is on the other side. There are no windows on the walls, but from the clocktower, characters can see that it has a glass ceiling, though they are unable to see inside.
✽ Outside, there is no breeze, and it occasionally rains ash.
✽ Characters going up to the 4th floor will feel that the door is warm to the touch, and will occasionally open (see: missions)
✽ The student store opens, with the door propped open with a doorstopper. The npc running the store ~~is currently not interested in conversation, but may be available for threading in the future~~ and is available for threading in the toplevel below. Please see the updated bonus activity page for more information.
✽ Posted on the bulletin board and also handed to each club president before break is the notice that proof of club activity is due at the end of break. Please submit these proofs in the toplevel below.
✽ There is another ad on the bulletin board advertising an exchange student program for the month of October. Applications will be taken until the end of August, and there is a 300 merit point fee. Sister cities include Death City, Devildom, Ishigami Village, Lanling, LazyTown, and Maiami City.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Would you go away depending on my feelings?

[ He doesn't seem the type, waltzing in here and dragging npc-kun around and doing what he wants without regard to anybody else— there's something admirable about that, living to the beat of your own drum, but at the same time...

...

npc-kun tightens their embrace just slightly, like they don't want to let him go. Because of... his money... yes.

... ]

I'm not very considerate of people's feelings apparently.

( a certain someone has said that about him one too many times, then again, it's probably true. he doesn't understand feelings, but he gets the gist of a person as a character. but he says that with a smile as he flips through another page, there's only so much school stuff he wants to look at. so he'll pick up the book with hinata's name instead, his fingers tracing the kanji slowly as he hums right after. )

I'll visit here every day if I can... ( he sighs softly, how strange. ) it's been awhile since I changed my routine.

( he'll have to because his stuff will be in this room!! where is his key, ori, how does he get his stuff. in a way, he hopes that's enough to answer npc-kun's question, or do they need him to be more straightforward than that. the squeeze motivates him though... npc-kun is like a child, komaeda blinks once... confused, and then: )

You're a part of the life I lead here, now.

Yeah, you're not.

[ Not that npc-kun cares about that anyways. Feelings have no place in business, unless it's something they can use to their advantage. So who's the inconsiderate one here... It's npc-kun, who settles a little more comfortably on Komaeda's back, watching him swap notebooks. His love life diary... ]

...Am I a good part of your life? [ ... ] I want to be. And I want you to be a part of mine too.

[ They don't want him to leave. Maybe they can force it, having Komaeda's things (his junk) stored in... I guess a footlocker, larger than the school lockers and doubling as a footstool when npc-kun is sitting behind the desk and opens with a physical key— Komaeda has one, and npc-kun also has a copy. ]

( for most people that should hurt, for komaeda, he finds himself satisfied with the answer. he's still the same type of person he's always been with his lack of consideration for others. it sounds perfect having npc-kun say it, that sort of thought runs in the family, he believes.

the movement on his back causes him to stop moving, until npc-kun is properly settled. once they are, komaeda weighs his options on the book in front of him, thinking of opening it up until he hears their voice again. )

... ( a good part of his life? it sounds nice, but he knows that he's not allowed that himself. with the way his pendulum swings, it'd only last for so long, and the thought makes him frown. ) You have to live, and never give up on what you want... ( because when that happens, everything about him stops, he's heartless, harsh, and judges for every choice. ) that goal you speak of, the hope that you harbor inside... protect it, but even then... you'll always have this specific place.

( it's tedious to place himself in someone else's life, let alone his own, too many scenarios where things may go wrong, like even now. hearing this. part of it makes him want to distance himself even more, but the truth of the matter is he did this to himself. ) You've always been part of mine if I let someone else tell the story... and maybe it's nicer that way, then it's like we've known each other forever.

( "does your family know me" "no" well! rokkun was already the blueprint in this relationship, so they have him to thank, even though he doesn't know himself. ) ...But you only met me today, am I allowed a place in your life? No one has a choice when it comes to mine, but you do.

( and even then, komaeda doesn't have to follow by those rules, he'd be here next day even if npc-kun kicked him out. #toxicbehavior. )

Isn't it scary, the way you hold onto me like you're afraid to let go... Who is truly fleeting, me or you?

( ... )

[ ... ]

I'm not... going anywhere. [ A quiet voice answers him, small, a little bitter, even as they swallow the hard lump in their throat. They're not the one who is fleeting. It's everybody else— everything else— so much has passed through their hands that the numbers in their bank account are no different than the numbers on Komaeda's wrist, nothing more than a counter of what's been lost. So who could blame them for clinging to what they have, holding on to what they can while they can? For them to have this stupid, stupid, idealistic, impossible goal that they covet because it's one thing nobody can ever take from them?

...It was never blame that came out of Komaeda's mouth. He was optimistic, supportive, confident in his actions and his beliefs and, for lack of a better word, a rock for somebody who has nobody else to return to.

That sort of person is admirable. That sort of person...

... ]

You remind me of somebody I lost. Being around you, my hope will never die. I want you. I'm not scared.

At the end of the year, it'll be the last time I see you, won't it?

( his nails lightly trace the name, this is his way to get his mind off the conversation, but he's still listening — he doesn't want to think too hard, he doesn't want his luck to contemplate where this landslide will go. will it bury him to the point that he suffocates by his own words, will they equally suffer because of his actions? the thought settles in his mind, wondering if he should have reacted differently to everything here, had ended the conversation once he learned he was being scammed via high prices for simple cat treats.

that doesn't make his life difficult, but it's that unfortunate scenarios would be the ones he would get involved with, but he didn't turn away. he indulged without a care because he understands what he can't have, it'll never be his, and so he can go out into those things, and dismiss himself when he needs to. the way he places himself in someone's life is so low, a stepping stone so a person has something to stand on, to move forward, and he accepts that place.

if he could, he'd turn so that his back was on the floor, the two chest to chest, and a hand can rest on npc-kun's back, but he's a little bigger than the children komaeda took care of a long time ago. he can't do that so easily especially with how the other latches onto him like a crutch, attached to the hip, not wanting to let go of what they decided they want. )

I'm not a good person, but I'm sure that person would try to be, want to be, will be... ( he lifts one hand, he can't see, but he hopes that he's able to press his hand on the top of npc-kun's head, bringing them a little closer against his own. almost like he wants to press their heads together, the a simple gesture where komaeda closes his eyes with a smile. ) ...As for your hope, I'll be the judge of that, so it's best not to let me down.

( that's familiar too, "i want you", he's heard it before, this family wants many things they can't have, and komaeda hums in thought. something like him is better taken out with the trash, but this doesn't feel like obtainable, he shouldn't be in this position. )

I'm only with you for as long as you allow me to be, and when that time is up... it being one-sided won't be too bad. ( as he thinks of something, he hums a bit, a small whistle, and then... ) Do you think I'm going to make it, if I remind you of someone?

[ That's true... They're the one who's going to leave at the end of the year, and they have no choice in that matter. So they're going to take what they can get, make the most of what they have, and right now it's this human mattress they bury their face against because Komaeda basically just said "No, I don't actually like you" one-sided, please...

... ]

No, you won't make it either. But it's not your fault. It's just that this is the last year.

( this is how he keeps his luck in check, isn't it wonderful? of course, he'll run his fingers through npc-kun's hair as he stares at the front of the book — it's okay, listen... )

...

( the last year? he won't make it? he doesn't know whether he's disheartened, or feels like a failure, but at the end of the day... that feels right, coming in last place. using what time he has left to support the hopes of others that can move forward, and he should accept his role yet again. it sounds perfect, and he sighs softly. )

What do you mean as the "last year"... so it's only the third years who are meant to see it to the end?

[ Is it really okay? Being told they're hated but still having their head stroked, they're getting mixed signals and maybe they don't want to ask for clarification this time, maybe they should just take what they can get.

... ]

You're talking about graduation, aren't you? That's a third year thing. If you're not a third year, you have no chance from the start.

( they're so insane, maybe they can ask for clarification, maybe they can learn that if npc-kun comes to hate komaeda, then komaeda will... [...]

very complicated to explain, but isn't this honesty in actions. )

That's what you meant by I'm not going to make it, right? ...It's such a shame, aren't the third years lucky... At least I understand that I should do something to give them a better chance.

( maybe he'll plot his own execution, anything for higher chances... it's about the gamble, and he enjoys that more than anything. ) When I don't make it, what will you do? You'll be happy after, even when I'm gone?

[ What would plotting his own execution do except trigger Rokkun Bad End?

The question is something they have to think about, though, because happiness is a momentary thing, something switched on and off at their own whims, not a state of being. ]

That depends on if I reach my goal in time. If I do, I'll be happy. Maybe I'll be able to keep you, too.

( it'd be like sdr2, where he killed himself to help everyone move towards their goal? it'd be for rokkun's benefit too?

there they go again, talking about their hidden goal, the unknown that even komaeda's unsure of. it sounds like a dream when they talk about it, and he wonders if they'll... wake up to the world the other has in mind. )

If it's a maybe, there's no need to be attached to it... take what you're sure you can have, and never let it go.

( he learned that... )

[ how I keep having to parent up to see whether this is the back lying thread or the eye licking thread ]

...So you're mine forever.

[ Him... his money... ]

( how i have to content warn up top to tell them apart, i'm tearing up. )

From the way you hold onto me, it's hard to reject your claim... but isn't there anything I can do to make it? So you don't have to do all the work?

( komaeda doesn't need much direction, but a general idea... because it sounds like this is all on npc-kun's terms... on the other being able to keep him....'s money. )

I wouldn't say no to some cold, hard cash.

[ They do loosen their hold on Komaeda again, though, so they don't accidentally strangle him before they can get their grubby hands on a will. ]

Other than that... It'd be nice if you could get people to shop here. Put in a good work for me: tell everybody I'm a good honest shopkeeper.

[ Lie through your teeth for them ]

( it would have been fine if they wanted to continue, it's not like he's going anywhere for the moment for as long as he's been on the floor. hell, he'll have to pick up all that's been dropped here, so he'll remain a little longer. )

...

( komaeda doesn't lie, but... ) You're my favorite shopkeeper, by far, even if you believe I won't make it to the end. That doesn't mean you should be visited for your wares.

( and he'll remove his hand just in case the other wants to do the same. )

And... I'll visit here for you. ( and whatever npc-kun wants him to buy, because he does like their company. )

[ Ugh... there's that burning feeling in their chest they ascribe to happiness when they hear that they're Komaeda's favorite shopkeeper— "by far", to boot!— but that's nothing compared to when he says that he'll visit for them, not their wares. Them as a person, and oh is it hard to be seen as a person and not just a title. It's... a little scary, being seen.

...

Slowly, they shrug off that hand and sit back up, sliding off Komaeda's back.

And then goes to lie down next to him, so they can see his face and, most importantly, he can see theirs and the happiness he gives them. ]

Visit me every day, okay? Or as much as you can! You'll always be welcome here with me!

( he will visit them for their hope, so at least npc-kun has that going for them. to see them as an individual person is very tedious for komaeda who normally doesn't care much about someone in general... this is about their hope, something he's been promised to see.

he crosses his arms under his head, looking towards them as they watch back. to see them practically beaming is scary, how long will they stay like that, it's frightening knowing he can even make someone feel like that at all.

maybe the arata's are affection starved. )

My stuff is here now, I have no choice.

( that means their little trick in getting komaeda to stay around will possibly work, he does have to visit his "footlocker" on a daily basis. ) ...Such kindness, I really don't deserve it. You should save it for your next customers, a smile like that will make them give up everything.

[ Yeah, that's right. They have his things hostage, they're pushy and self-centered and knows exactly what this smile does for people. But sometimes the smile is real, even if it slips, and they have to pull it back on. ]

I have enough smiles for everybody, so don't you worry about me running out! Besides, this isn't kindness... It's selfishness. It's what I want.

[ Maybe the Aratas have a deadbeat dad okay it's not their fault they're attention starved. At least npc-kun embraces it rather than running away like Rokkun does. ]

I'm not too worried.

( because he understands what is and isn't for him, and something like that shouldn't be either. it gives him too much power, he shouldn't have the idea that he's more than what he finds himself to be. )

It's because you're honest about that is why I read it as kindness...

( sighs, they make me insane, and counselor did this on purpose because he's a twisted cycle path... hate he wasn't proud of his children. )

Telling me you're selfish... I'm pretty much aware, our whole engagement left hints... but as long as you're you, it's not a bad thing at all.

[ Oh, their reputation of a good honest shopkeeper... Though, "as long as you're you," it's okay, and it's something npc-kun takes heart in. They can be unapologetically them, it's okay. It's okay.

... ]

Okay. If you don't come see me at least three times a week, I'll get angry. So make sure you do.

[ Anyways npc-kun would be horrendous to date, one of those people who are all "text me every night before bed" so they know you're always thinking of them and also that you're alive ]

( the way komaeda quotes this from rokkun because he thinks rokkun is better at talking to people so obviously this is the way. so npc-kun is allowed to be obnoxiously annoying, greedy, and whatever concept creates them... manipulate those that they want to keep, and lock out those that they don't want.

komaeda will accept it. )

...Do you hate me? Is that why you want to be angry with me?

( i'm crying at who will be the lucky bachelor for npc-kun's heart because they're a piece of work. high maintenance is always worth it, and it's key, but who is worse them or rokkun... papa counselor walked so they could run. )

[ "he thinks rokkun is better at talking to people" okay so this is his first mistake ]

No, not yet. I don't want to be angry with you. I want you to do everything in your power to keep me from getting angry.

[ aka pander to their every desire!!

anyways, Rokkun is worse to date bc he's "I love you but you're not allowed to love me back and also if anybody even dares to look at you I *will* cut them down where they stand" ]

( rokkun had like friends outside of school, he was doing something better than komaeda if he had kouhai that respected him??? komaeda talks cryptic and is hypocritical, rokkun advances in certain aspects than he does. )

...And if you do get angry, how would one go about fixing it?

( like do they want a story told to them, or maybe a hug, wait... money seems like the obvious, but maybe he's wrong on that.

npc-kun is the ideal actually, like if they were on their own hit romance show... npc-kun would have so many people compared to rokkun's one or two. bc this man literally looked at komaeda and was like he knows no concept of love or how to love, easy pickings. )

[ Sometimes, not being a batshit insane murderer (publicly) gains you friends and respect. But oh I hate that Rokkun literally looked at Komaeda and told himself Komaeda will never love him back and so loving him is safe. Easy pickings... ]

Pay me.

[ yes ]

And let me hit you. And you have to apologize to me, and mean it. And you have to tell me how you're going to do better next time. And then... tell me you're not angry at me too. And that you still like me.

[ super high maintenance but the moral of the story is, just don't make npc-kun angry ]

Please let August be better than July I'm begging

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