yogen | npc contact.2

( DAIDGKJDGOKFLG STOP COME BACK HE'S NOT GOING TO WALK THAT FAST )

I designed this GAME. Of course I'm SURE. ( oh my god ) Do you think I'd put myself into danGER, Little Wolf?

( NO??? so there. )

Twenty minutes isn't going to ruin us any—a little longer than that to get somewhere won't eiTHER. And I wouldn't have left you in here for longer than the meteor shower if I'd stayed out of here either: today's supposed to be enjoyable for the both of US, so I'd prefer my date to be non-vegetaTIVE.

[ "I designed this game" "you leave by jumping into ponds" look, ]

We aren't dating.

[ but quiet, lacking that usual hard edge, and she doesn't look at him even though she knows he wouldn't be looking back. This isn't a date. He just asked to see her outside of school, that's all. That's all it was supposed to be. ]

...It wouldn't be wise to have that sort of intention in this place, in the situation that we're in. You know that.

( No, they're not dating, but that doesn't mean they can't have a date. A nice time. And ... no, they shouldn't have that intention. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't held the intention for a little while now though, always putting it in any seriousness to the side because of the things she's brought up—

in this place. in this situation.

Even putting aside the graduation thing, the forgetting it all thing.

She's right. He does know. He's thought about it a dozen times, when he can't sleep and he draws galaxies with magic on the ceiling of his bunk bed, when he sees her in the hallway and when she makes that face at him, when he goes a little further down the hall to the music room to listen to her and pretends he's going that way to get something from the art room, when she's stern like she always is, when she gets frustrated with him, when she dresses up in something cute for time spent together that isn't a date or shouldn't be, when he tends his lavender plants and makes a reminder to himself to give her more perfume...

This is such a bad conversation to have while walking; if only they had stayed sitting for a little while longer. )

I do know THAT, and it hadn't been my intention in the beginNING— ( a pause, where he purses his lips and finds himself frustrated but happy that he can't open his eyes, that she's still turned away, going by her voice. ) But even the best laid plans go to WASTE, Little Wolf.

( He lets that hang in the air, before he continues, softer. )

Let's talk about this when we're OUT, ( a silent plea for more time to figure out his words. It's such a delicate thing, feelings. ) Over TEA.

( Then if she finds his words wanting, she can throw a hot drink on him. )

[ It's not really something she wants to talk about more, as if there's any room for discussion, but Maya looks up at the sky still filled with stars no matter how many had fallen before her eyes, and finds herself sighing, slowing her pace to match Natsume's so that they're walking side by side. ]

Alright.

[ Against all better judgement, but... she told him she would make an effort, and she can't expect things to improve by allowing others second chances while not doing anything herself. ]

For what it's worth, today hasn't been a waste.

[ Could still be! but hasn't been, despite all her misgivings. But also she's going to go quiet now, so Natsume's not going to have her voice to guide him. ]

( ...That's nice to hear. It's nice to feel her by his side too, even if he doesn't have her voice to guide him; he has her footsteps, closer than the faint ambient sounds of insects and birds, and he has the sense that someone is by him. Little things he's come to be aware of through Helena's lessons, little things that will save him and that, for now, reassure him that he hasn't been left.

The town opens around them both sooner than expected, but not exceptionally quick; it's night, so most people—npcs—are asleep, with a couple of guards patrolling just to keep an eye on things. It looks vaguely European, like most fantasy towns look, round and kind and full of brick. There's only one main road, but a dozen alleys; along the latter are little shops in every nook and cranny, hinting at a fairly trade-based town, though most of their lights are all turned off this late. Only two buildings still seem to be open for business:

one that is obviously the inn, the ground floor alight with the warm glow of lanterns and a few of its floors dotted with people still awake, and what appears to be a gambling den.

Natsume listens carefully, touching Maya's arm lightly after a moment. )

It's down one of these alLEYS, next to a jewelry shop that sells brass-wrought dragonFLIES. Their sign has a stylized one on IT, so it shouldn't be too difficult to FIND. All you have to do is try to open the DOOR, and a prompt will appear; select YES, and you'll find yourself back in the classROOM.

( Easy. Simple.

The cause is helped by the fact the door looks out of place with the rest of the city, rimmed with gold instead of being plain wood, but no one aside from them seem to notice or care. Kind of like Yogen. )

[ A gambling den

It's neither that or the inn that had Maya's attention, though, when she feels the touch on her arm and turns to Natsume, neither tensing nor pulling away because, as it turns out, this is how Hiro gets her attention too. Anyways, it was a clothing shop she was looking at, one with window displays that can be seen even with the shop closed and lights off, but never mind. ]

Either a pond or a shady back alley. You really know how to choose the exits.

[ It serves its purpose, she supposes. Somewhere out of the way, where you have to do something you're reluctant to in order to leave, as if being given time to be sure you're finished here. ]

( If they wait a couple of in-game hours the clothing shop will be open and they can go shopping—

Natsume smiles slightly. )

It's only shady because it's night; in the day TIME, this town's bustling with enerGY, and there's plenty of people everyWHERE. Stalls pop up all along the main ROAD, hawking wares from every corner of the contiNENT... It's a lively little area I can't associate with the word "shady" at ALL. If you're interesTED, we could remain here a little while lonGER.

( ... )

But that's the TRICK, I supPOSE. Always something new to do or SEE, to keep you from returning HOME. RPG entrapMENT.

( Not really a deliberate design choice on his end, but a natural consequence of keeping places interesting and growing. )

I'd much rather return to cruel reality than lose myself to fantasy.

[ aka she does not want to get brain damage, you're not tricking her, Sakasaki

Maybe if she were able to visit again in short intervals, like taking a brief nap in the middle of the afternoon to recharge, she would take the time to look around and imagine what this place would look like during the day, vibrant and full of life.

But she's not going to let herself get sucked into something she knows to be impossible. Instead she keeps an eye out for that shop, and this one she does linger slightly in front of, supposing Natsume wouldn't be able to tell the difference between her checking out the alleyway for mugger and her glancing at the jewelry. Did I say she likes dragonflies somewhere? because I remember Komaeda catching dragonflies to give to her and I can't imagine why. So she likes dragonflies now. ]

I'll be going on ahead, then.

( I just picked dragonflies because I like dragonfly jewelry, crying.

As she supposes, he doesn't suspect anything other than maybe she's checking for muggers or something; it's an action that suits her and he doesn't blame her for it. )

I'll be right afTER.

( ...

The prompt comes up on a scroll that appears out of nowhere, unfurling on the door like someone's eviction notice; it asks if she wants to leave, with YES or NO glowing faintly. When she selects YES—

And she's back to the same view she'd had before he'd turned things on, darkness over her eyes where the headset sits and the slim view of the classroom otherwise. Natsume stirs on the ground behind her, grimacing. In general, the feeling is like, when you sit still for like twenty minutes in a not particularly comfortable position; Maya can enjoy that too. "Enjoy."

She can also enjoy quiet as Natsume pushes his headset up so he can go power things down, head and heart turning over themselves as he stands there turned away from her. Ginger tea, to settle the stomach. For circulation. Because it's nice. )

...Are you feeling alRIGHT?

( Just checking. )

[ asdflkhj sometimes the stars align

It's a relief to be back, for sure, but the disappointment of reality is there too, in a hard plastic chair and aching ears instead of a cool breeze and the smell of grass in the nighttime. She removes everything from her head as soon as she's able to, setting it aside and giving the console a more impressed look this time than her doubtful one initially. ]

I'm fine. How are you feeling?

[ Like he's going to throw up? Maya circles around him to see his face. As a precaution. ]

( He turns away sharply so she can't see him, feeling warm under the collar. Please don't look at him, he's still thinking things over, he's embarrassed. )

Just the SAME.

( ...he grimaces, closing his eyes again. He moved too fast and now he's regretting it; the lingering vertigo and nausea from the game isn't helping, either. )

A little SICK. I'll be FINE. ( breathe in, breathe out. Ugh. His stomach's doing flip-flops. ) Let's get some tea THEN.

( He'll come back for this later, they can just take their time making their way to the cooking room. )

[ ...

She doesn't move. ]

Give me your hand.

( Making a bet with himself that this is for pressure points, not hand-holding.

He still takes a moment to collect himself and turn so he can give her his hand he guesses, expression slightly pale and mostly curious-skeptical. )

[ He wins that bet ]

Is that any better?

[ If anything, it's a distraction from the nausea, that's the only way it works for me or maybe I'm doing it wrong ]

( He knew it. And I wouldn't know, it doesn't work on me for some reason, I wish it did my life would be so much easier.

Thankfully it works for him, or at least is a good enough distraction for him, especially since he's thinking about something else now and deciding against it in lieu of the things he may or may not have to talk about in the coming future. )

Yes, thank YOU. ( He should've said no so she'd keep holding his hand (in a fashion) but he hasn't sunk to Subaru's level of desperation yet. ) ...Did you still want TEA? We can eat TOO, though we'll have to make a trip for THAT.

( That is: stop by the cooking room -> go all the way up to the rooftop, because he did say they'd have a picnic up there, so. Keeping to one thing. )

OtherWISE, it's to the music ROOM. I'd like to perform something for YOU. ( ...

Choose your own dateventure or whatever. )

[ As soon as he says yes, she lets go, hand swinging at her side as she takes a step away to give them both some space. ]

Tea, music room, then lunch.

[ It's an easy enough decision: she needs Natsume to stop feeling sick first so she can stop worrying about him being sick, and then it would be rude to talk in the music room when somebody else is performing, and then it would also be rude to talk with your mouth full over lunch so maybe they don't have to talk about anything ever.

It's a game plan.

And the campus is a place she's familiar with, so she can take the lead this time towards home ec. Also she was going to ask a question that's been on her mind when he mentions performing but then she recalls what he told her a little while ago and then goes "oh" to herself and never mind. ]

( ...Did she get embarrassed? Cute. He links his fingers together behind his back to get rid of the temptation of asking her to hold hands again and follows after, a smile tugging at his lips.

She's much more comfortable when she gets to call the shots, isn't she; he already figured she would be, though. It's too bad if he let her call them all the time they wouldn't be having this datehangout in the first place, though.

When they get to home ec, Natsume'll step past her so he can start on tea, she can . do something, he's treating her today so she can just take it easy— see, regrettably making tea takes time so they have time to talk about things, and Natsume won't look at her because he's busy putting water into kettles and putting kettles on stoves and opening cabinets to find the ginger tea and getting cups to put that tea in eventually. )

I hope this doesn't ruin the rest of our day togeTHER, ( he says quietly, over all of that, ) but I like YOU, Maya.

( ...Rika would hate him for not doing this in a more romantic way; he's almost grateful she's dead now, but not quite. And the other word is too strong, so "like" it is, simple and small and still putting his heart in his throat and his stomach into ropes.

And there's more to say, but he has to find the words, first, so he leaves it at that for the moment; it'll be easier to decide which ones to use in a few moments, he guesses. )

Edited (ignore this edit i just realized i had a typo and its driving me nuts) 2021-11-03 19:41 (UTC)

[ A moment passes, and Maya is still quiet, lingering about the window because there isn't anything for her to help with, pulling her gaze away from the forest outside to what little she can see of Natsume's reflection— back to her, on the fence between relief and disappointment— and then back out the window into the distance.

Because he can't have forgotten what she said just a couple of minutes ago, why she has to put her foot down, what makes her silent now, not knowing what to do with the words entrusted to her, how she's supposed to respond. She can't even give a non-response like "I know," because she didn't; she refused to entertain the thought completely, no what ifs or maybe or I hopes, because nothing good will come out of it. On the other hand, she isn't surprised... mostly out of recognition that she's difficult to get along with, can be insufferable, and there is little other reason to want to spend time with her and go that extra mile that Natsume has done not just today.

He called her by her name.

...

Maya turns, leaning against the windowsill to stare at Natsume's back. It's not his face, but at least it's still him, and not a reflection, a ghost, a thought. ]

...And I don't hate you.

[ It's even less of anything than "like" is, but it's still more than she would ever care to admit. Maybe it was obvious anyways; she wouldn't be here right now if she hated him, found him insufferable, didn't want anything to do with him. ]

This is the most straightforward you've been towards me. I appreciate the honesty. I appreciate your efforts.

[ But,

but. ]

( But.

He knows. He hasn't forgotten her words, but felt that his intentions--newly blossomed ones, ones that were there when he wanted to just be friends at their first picnic, that were there the last day he saw her before summer break began, that were there that bright day on the rooftop when he asked about being dead, that were there when he sat across from her in the Student Council Room and wanted to...

Not his only intentions; he thankfully does not live and die by like or love, he doesn't interact with people for the sole chance things might work out, but an intention anyway. Maybe it's better to call it a desire, a hope he entertained sparingly--sparingly, because

he knows.

This is no place for things like this, the vines curled around his ribs, flowerbuds unbloomed. He knows. He closes his eyes, feeling hers on him, and listens to the water boil.

He half hoped with her silence she would've pretended not to hear him, but Maya is better than that, he supposes. )

I wasn't expecting an anSWER. ( The words creep from his mouth, eyes slowly opening. ) Nor anything in reTURN. I just thought I should give context as to why I called this a DATE.

( Not to tease her. Not to make fun of her.

But because he likes her. )

Let's forget I said anyTHING. ( But he won't turn around, not sure of his own expression--he never knows how he looks, never realizes it, and whatever expression he might wear he doesn't want anyone else to know either. ) We can just have a lovely day togeTHER.

( Nothing more, nothing less; this is for her. )

How does that sound to YOU?

[ If she knew he wasn't expecting an answer she wouldn't have—-

but she would, because she's not a person who likes to leave things hanging, to ignore things and pretend they don't exist. Instead, she snipes things down with expert precision. ]

Alright. But I have no intention of forgetting.

[ It feels impossible to, like Pandora's Box. Maybe if she stays long enough in virtual reality she might be able to forget, but finds that she doesn't want to. ]

And it's possible to like one another without it being anything more.

[ Like going on a date without necessarily dating, like all this day was supposed to be. The best she can offer at this point is some semblance of friendship she struggles to accept in the first place. ]

( He wishes she would forget anyway.

That's selfish, as selfish as confession is. He sighs quietly, his shoulders dropping with the breath he finds he's holding, and... it's fine. He's fine.

(He knew what her answer would be, in essence, but it still hurts. Yet it's fundamentally no different than loving someone like Anzu--the two of them have impossible circumstances, too.)

Natsume turns around to face her, the corners of his mouth turnee up in the neutral smile he tends to wear day-to-day, one that doesn't quite reach his eyes but that no one really looks at too hard, anyway. )

Oh, I'm aware boys and girls can be friends without roMANCE. ( Somewhere in his heart, he wishes-- he grinds it out before it's given shape. ) ...Thank YOU.

( Rejection hurts, even when you're expecting it. He has to spend the rest of the day nursing it, but more important is how he wants her to enjoy the day with him.

So, he'll focus on that.

... )

This isn't how I thought I'd conFESS, for the reCORD. ( His plans... ruined. ) I wanted it to be a little more romanTIC... Christmas EVE, or the closest day to it I could have your compaNY.

( Natsume rubs his face, god...... )

How silly of ME. Our conversations never go the way I expect them to in the long-run; I should've known betTER.

[ Christmas Eve... a couple's holiday. The chances she would have agreed to come in the first place would have been slim, then, so it would have been better this way, as unromantic as it was. A "hey, by the way," with no pressure to answer either way, and if it doesn't work out, she's not ruining both their days. ]

You say that as if they're doomed from the start. Are you not a great magician?

[ Something something miracles, but more than that, having the ability to be able to read people— and she is far from unpredictable, even towards people she has just met. ]

( The more she calls him a magician, the more he feels she's making fun of him for calling himself one....... )

I AM, but you're not a mere child fascinated by tricks and sleight of HAND. My magic doesn't affect YOU... ( ... ) Though you're not the first girl that's the case WITH.

( Anzu... was the same way. He's fond of her, too. Whether she wasn't aware of how he felt, or if she only took it as joking on his part, he isn't sure. But the golden rule of dates is to not think of other girls while you're on them, so he turns his thoughts away from her.

And tea steeping now, just decided this, tired of them talking they need to start sipping quietly at cups at some point. Though his stomach has settled a little, now that all of... that... has been spoken aloud. The feelings part, not the admittance he can't manipulate her. And while she's not unpredictable—in fact, she's a fair bit the opposite—he doesn't think she'd appreciate being told something like that, so he'll keep mum on it. )

It's because you prefer people to be straightforWARD, and you're always chiding me about saying too MUCH. ( But the "too much" is part of his trade. It's also nostalgic for Yumenosaki, but it's mostly his trade. You talk and talk and talk and soon enough, someone's lost the plot of the conversation and will just agree, overwhelmed by the number of words exchanged. ) How can a magician hope to operate in such troubling circumstanCES? Truly, woe is ME.

( He's not that broken up about it, and he doesn't look or sound it. Her attitude is one of the things he likes the most about her, after all. )

Edited 2021-11-04 05:43 (UTC)

[ Somebody calls himself, with all seriousness, a magician, and what are you supposed to think? At least he admits it's tricks and lies and too many words. ]

You'll find a way. Hiro believes in your magic.

[ Like that's some sort of trade-off to balance her not believing, because Hiro is a child who is fascinated by tricks and sleight of hand, who prefers people who talk a lot because that means he can sit and listen. ]

( ... )

Hiro-kun believes because he wants TO. And because I made a piece of candy appear seemingly out of thin air when we first MET.

( back when the library was still silent... good times. )

...I am curious THOUGH. What would you define as "maGIC"? Is it only the fantastiCAL, that thing that appears in books with dragons and swords and advenTURE? Or is there something a little more real you'd consider magiCAL?

( ... )

And you can't say it doesn't exIST. Even in places that aren't like this it DOES. Most people just don't think of IT.

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