yogen | npc contact.2

( AND? mizuki is SEXY and i am not MAD at him! yes rokkun, pick up toxic traits. )

How can you choose for me...

( stop that, which he'll emphasize by leaning away from rokkun now, using his own arm to prop himself up, so say goodbye to his armrest or whatever komaeda-arata was at the time. )

Who are you to tell me if it's not important? ...So tell me, what can you lose from hoarding our memories away from me. Surely it must have been nice... ( he sighs, looking at him from where he's leaning. ) ...you didn't throw away that memory. ...I don't want to remember it, I want you to tell me... I want to know.

( was going to be like they can keep the same promise, and i'm like maybe that's how komaeda got in this mess an how he was made to promise... rokkun's reverse psychology won't get him. )

[ asdflkjh the counselor is... something... very excited about him but rokkun does not need to be more like him, thank you ]

...We promised to find a way out of this place together. You were good at stirring people up— still are. I worked behind the scenes— still do. You asked me before why I'm here, insisting to be with you... It's because I need that talent of yours.

( thinking how miss kudo has good taste...

honestly? honestly... komaeda's sitting here like when did he ever talk about his talent, and then... he remembers rokkun knows he's sick x2 so it's... )

...You want that?

( his talent? why can't he ask for like komaeda's appendage or something, but he stares at rokkun trying to find some hidden meaning to his words.

...

...

... )

...How are you intending to use a mediocre talent like mine?

( komaeda brain is like rokkun only talks to you for your talent.wav )

[ chiaki the only valid arata... ]

Yeah. For better or for worse, you affect the people around you. I just need you to keep being as you are.

[ He is on the side of not-normal Komaeda ]

...Are you asking to leech off this disgusting talent of mine?

( ...as if rokkun didn't just say he was doing his own thing on the side.

...

...

...

okay, now he's getting up, because his brain is short-circuiting to... rokkun wants him for his talent. )

I didn't think you'd fall so low to be like those people.

I'm not asking.

[ He's taking it, wrapping himself in it every time he's with Komaeda, all the while doing his thing off to the side, watching Komaeda stand but not rising to his feet after him. ]

Are you going to break your promise?

I promised something like that? ...

( maybe he can see where he wouldn't hold up his end of the promise, because the idea of someone using an ultimate's talent is... he can't stand it, the thought makes him sick to his stomach. it's why he dislikes the world now, people... draining an ultimate for their talent because they can't do anything. they're what snuffs out their light, greedy hands hoping to have things work out for them without doing anything at all... the lazy...

... )

What are you doing that warrants my cooperation, you know... if you know me... I hate the idea of an Ultimate's talent being used by someone who doesn't have it.

( ... )

You did promise. You're always saying you want to help, Nagito, but when it comes down to it... it's like this.

[ It's getting dark, the sun having slipped below the horizon while he was too busy looking at Komaeda. With a sigh, he gets up, dusting off the back of his pants. ]

That's why I said to just forget it.

...

( oh shut up, what the hell does rokkun know about what komaeda does to help! it does catch him off guard, and he should have seen it coming... something so... bothersome to him. )

...I do want to help your hope, it means that much to me.

( he looks towards the other for a moment, before his eyes drop down to his shoes. he's hesitant at first, thinking he should drop the conversation, but he speaks up as if the other doesn't know what he's getting into. if he... wasn't just some generic student here, and maybe... one with talent, he could do whatever he wants, but... does he know the consequences. it's this luck that makes him feel as if he shouldn't be around others. )

Do you know my luck is what put you in that predicament, why you're the way you are now?

[ Thanks for saying the way he is now is a predicament. What about him? His attitude? His personality? Why he does the things he does in the way that he does? ]

...I got here through my own decisions, Nagito. I know what I'm doing; I'm not backed up against a wall yet. You taking responsibility for the state of my life is just selfishness.

You misunderstand me.

( he wouldn't say everything about rokkun is why he's the way he is because of his luck, he's only pointing out one specific thing, the only one that made komaeda feel like his world tilted. the moment he thought rokkun was going to die, maybe that was selfish of him to find a way to ensure that the other lived... maybe it was. )

I meant the scar on your neck, the wound on your leg... your life was almost erased because of me. ( he sighs, looking down. ) ...Is this luck something you want to handle? Even after that?

( can he even call this "luck"? in all honesty, it feels like the opposite, but that's the purgatory he's locked in... the ups and downs of his own luck.

taurus' are difficult too, looks up. )

[ This is a conversation they've had before, with Rokuro defending his decision to keep hold of Komaeda's hand even though everything— every little thing— pointed to it being a stupid stupid idea, one that almost got him killed, one that brought him so much pain and continues to do so even now, one that wrenched away from his hands the one thing that he could find solace in, one that he's so determined not to regret and for what? ]

I survived it, didn't I? And the reason I'm still standing is because of you.

[ Nothing sentimental about this. He turns to face Komaeda, holding his arms to himself. ]

Akira says you were the one who asked for him, that you sent Rantarou to bring him while you stayed by my side. Things like good luck or bad luck are going to happen, Nagito. That's how luck works, and I tend to fall on the side of bad luck. But you being there is a decision, and your actions are what I care about.

( his expressions are barely legible, he normally keeps a smile on his face, a positive attitude so no one can read him, but to hear he's been... doxxed by someone is almost annoying. they were supposed to promise that what happened that day stayed between just them and no one else, and considering rokkun was out of it... nothing should've stuck in his mind. it didn't if he needed akki to fill in the gaps, and he blinks slow before looking off to the side to reflect back on that day. holding onto him, the constant trip to the void world, that sort of hope he didn't want to lose. )

Ahaha! You get so serious about these things, who knew I could draw it out of you!

( he smiles, instantly erasing the stress that settled on his features at the drop of a hat, and a hand rests on his hip as he lifts the other to wave. it's normal, this constant switch in his personality fits the disease in his brain, and it's why he's able to keep a smile on his face no matter the subject.

in the end, it wasn't a conversation to have: )

Don't worry, we're way past that sort of thing, right? I was only joking from before. ( he believes he held the right hand, and considering he knows the aftermath that it's nothing to stay on. ) Besides, it's not like I'm a person! I'm trash with a hopeless talent... it's no where as useful as the other ultimates here... so do with it what you will! To think I can be on par with the Ultimates... that would be foolish of me... I'd sound possessed if that was the case! ( he takes a step towards the other, lifting his head to look him in the eyes as one hand raises to cup rokkun's chin, an attempt to read what expression he could be making. )

A promise is a promise.

[ He gets serious about these things and then Komaeda does just the opposite and it's frustrating every time, evident in his frown and narrowed eyes, the way he looks away from Komaeda when he touches his face. ]

A promise is a promise. We'll be working together, then. [ adjacent together, not together together ] So you aren't allowed to mope anymore when bad things happen. It'll only make the person stronger, isn't that what you always said?

[ Stepping stones, or something. Komaeda's always enthusiastically bringing it up, so he should have no problems with Rokuro making his stupid choices and getting hurt by them. ]

Mmm... it's something I stand by.

( when bad things happen, something better comes from it — that's why it's important to see everything through to the end no matter what. )

I can mope anytime I want... I feel a little depressed right now... ( even if rokkun looks away, komaeda removes his hand after, and he thinks that maybe rokkun doesn't want to be touched by him. he looks at his hand, agreeing to himself that he is trash... so. )

What's your plan? You're aware, aren't you? The things that I do to spread hope... no one here likes it, and what if I get in your way...

( so tell him what's happening so he can avoid doing that. )

What are you depressed by now...?

[ what hundreds of billions of things has you depressed, nagito

he sighs a little to himself, rolling back stiff shoulders. ]

I'm going to graduate. [ This is, and will always be, the end goal. But more than that, what he's said once before: ] I'm going to dismantle this school.

And I'm going to take everybody with me.

( anyway. it's his depression. )

Dismantle the school?

( quickly, his eyes raise from the ground, and to rokkun from his specific choice in words. )

Well... that's interesting, but when you say it like that... ( his hands raise, moving as he talks while trying to come to an understanding of what's being said. it isn't long until one rests on his hip, you know the gay posture he does. ) are you sacrificing everyone here for your out?

( it's not like komaeda hasn't done the same before, but he shouldn't think that rokkun would do the things that he do because of those goals that's within their reach. )

[ what did we learn about Rokkun and his specific choice of words

...

Anyways, ]

I said I'm taking everybody with me. And I mean everybody.

( holds my head... looks up, looks to the lord... god do you hear me. )

...

( thinking bout how he's insane, and maybe he should have killed komaeda when he had the chance. me and enh sitting on call like why does he do this, what's wrong with him. )

That's kind of you, who knew you had a heart that worried for everyone here! Do you not trust their methods of getting out?

[ I asked Lily May and she says mrrroww

anyways, yeah, no, idk what's wrong with him ]

It's not like I'm worried about them... Their methods aren't going to work and mine is. And when it does, this place is no longer going to exist.

[ He's taking everybody because... of something... Not out of concern, not really, at least he tells himself. But they're not going to have anywhere else to go, so he's taking them with. ]

( she knows that rokkun is my little meow meow... my poor meow meow...my baby my little baby who hurt so much but treats people with nothing but kindness forgive me for not being able to do more..i tried my best i really did.. )

...Is that something I promised with you? To take them all along... ( with as many students that are left, he closes his eyes before opening them slowly, empty as always. ) where are they supposed to go... I think half of them can die.

( maybe he's searching for a reaction, but it's not like he doesn't trust him. )

[ you make me read this with my own two eyes ]

Is it something you would promise?

[ Nagito "deaths are stepping stones towards a more hopeful future" Komaeda ]

...They'll go wherever they go. That's not my problem. But anywhere they go will be better than here, stuck without being able to go anywhere or do anything or be anyone.

( did it do what it needed to do... there was a reason i hunted it down. )

To you, them, or myself? ...I want to help their hopes, that's all I can do for them.

( they sure are rokuro "i tried to die and not even achieve the goal" arata. hm... )

...What are their options if you get them out of here? ( what are the places other than here? they have been locked up for so long. ) Heaven? Hell? Do they turn into butterflies and watch after their loved ones?

[ it made me go

that's what it did ]

I don't know. It depends on what you believe in, I guess. [ maybe heaven, maybe hell, maybe the oblivion of nothing at all ]

What do you think? ...Or want to think?

( stop... lily loved it i know she did because she's also our little meow meow. )

...It doesn't matter where trash like me ends up, I'm just debris scattered in the ocean going wherever the currents decide.

( and that makes him sigh slightly sad. )

As for them... They don't want heaven, or hell, then again some of them were dead before coming here...

( ishimaru-kun, this causes a small frown... ugh his ultimate, but he looks up at the sky darkening. he takes a deep breath as he enjoys the peace. ) ...They'd want what you want: to go back home, to carry on what they couldn't.

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