yogen | npc contact.2

( thinking how enh was like if komaeda talked to rokkun he was going to see red when he talks amami, and i can't stop laughing.

he will give his jacket in return, and he'll point to the pocket that has the hope fragments as if that's supposed to help him in some way. hope you can hold, hope that can be touched... sometimes it's all komaeda has on his more weary and tiring days, but when he's back to normal... the hope around him is more than enough. he'll even slip rokkun's hand inside so he can find it with ease as he holds onto the other's jacket.

he'll dig in the newly acquired jacket's pockets first because he's nosy, and then he'll glance at the pda.

... )

at the start... i told him i would speak with you.
so in a way... you can say he did care, but i was unsure of what would happen...
if someone walked in your life, insisting to talk about your private life.

( and his eyes are a little sharper, matching the male's gaze as if there's a point to this. amami would have just jumped in with reckless abandon, asking about rokkun's sibling, and why he wasn't there... he can't read the room, and komaeda knows that. it probably would have went bad... )

[ Sometimes you hold a grudge against somebody who literally did nothing wrong...

Rokkun only slides his hands into the pockets when Komaeda does, taking it as permission to be nosy back even though his hands are more tentative than curious, finding the hope fragment and rubbing the pad of his thumb against a sharp edge, as if trying to figure out by touch alone what sort of rock this is— because it's a rock, isn't it? why does Komaeda keep rocks in his pocket

His own, incidentally, contains a rock. Just a normal boring rock you'd find on the side of the road. There's also a crumpled up old receipt dating back around four months (sports drinks, paper towels, toothpaste, five gallons of bleach that was apparently on sale, and a roll of tin foil), some spare change, a plastic straw wrapper. Little snapshots of a life he wouldn't have minded anybody see, but his expression hardens a little at the mention of his private life— at his private death, as far as Rokkun is able to tell is what Komaeda's talking about, because he did just that. Steamrolled right through where he has no business being. ]

Why does he know?

[ Why did you tell him, is unasked but implied, because that memory was stumbled upon by only four other people, and if Komaeda and Amami were gossiping behind his back, he wants to know what Komaeda has to say for himself. ]

( the items that rokkun will stumble upon in komaeda's pockets are the hope fragments, sharp enough at the ends to cut his finger if he's not careful. those fingers may also smooth over a certain rock — nephrite — nice to the touch, and then there's a bag with a few cat treats left behind. isn't it amazing how he uses these to have an upper hand? probably not, and then he'll come across a wrinkled pocket tissue that hasn't seen any use, it's not as... neat as it was before, yet he hasn't gotten rid of it — if rokkun has good memory, probably not, it's the same one that he tried to wipe his hand with a long time ago early in the school year when he cut his hand to make a blood oath with komaeda. )

he doesn't, no one knows what i know, aside from those who accompanied me.

( wrong set of information, but komaeda understands the implication without asking what, and he doesn't know if it hurts for the other to lack that much faith in him. he's a sensitive subject, someone that komaeda didn't think he'd find himself in this position of even speaking with on terms like this. it's unfair, he guesses, but he doesn't complain, and instead he watches the other with a flat expression — )

is that it? you believe i'd tell anyone about that?
...to think you'd see me in such a negative light.

( can he be petty? he sure can, making sure that nothing slips out the male's pocket as he removes his mechanical hand, and he crosses his arms as he looks away. annoying is what komaeda is, a little out of it at times, but he stares at the treats within the vending machine to place his attention on. maybe he's too kind to rokkun, he has kept the information about him a secret, to himself, and maybe that's why he's giving him a hard time for thinking so low of him! )

[ The sting on the tips of his finger does tell him he cut it on something, but in his rooting around Komaeda's pockets he finds something soft inside and just goes ahead and uses that pocket tissue to stem the blood, holding the fabric against the cut inside the pocket, nobody has to know about this. ]

I don't
But you and Rantarou are close
If he asked you, wouldn't you tell him?

[ maybe he would give it away freely, like he did his jacket ]

( really? the last thing he has of saihara's, and rokkun taints it with his blood... it's better that komaeda doesn't know now, but it won't be good when he finds out later. when komaeda looks at him though, it's not out of stress or loss from the pocket tissue because he doesn't know, but rather he's staring at the pda now —

...it's true, if amami asked for anything, komaeda would sing like a canary, he has no choice? he's meant to be used properly by ultimates, do as they say because they're more than him, the embodiment of everything that he loves. though, there are times he doesn't abide by his ultimates, doing whatever he wants because the pendulum of what he does, and what he doesn't do swings back and forth. )

trash like me... close to an ultimate?
you misunderstand me... i'd never sully his radiance with my disgusting presence.
what has gotten into you?
i wouldn't tell him.

( because he hasn't asked.

also... it was just a jacket ? for a rock ? )

[ Isn't Komaeda stealing his hat or something, this could have been anybody's blood. Could be Amami's when Rokkun finds him later, because as much as he should be used to it, Komaeda hero worshipping Amami would never not make him /: ]

If you say so
Why were you talking about me with him, then?

( ? is he getting the hat, and that was his first gift from saihara? and he knows he never got blood on it, and who is digging around in the pockets as they talk... oooh, when komaeda finds out... OOOH. he's locking himself in his dorm room and never coming out. bedroom worship now...

also he's an ultimate, he is a hero? sighs... the talentless will never understand. )

will you stay with me the rest of the night?
you asked to sleep with me a long time ago, but never did.

[ was he not stealing Shuichi's hat the moment he disappears

also did he ask that... was that the sleepover way back... because he's thinking way way way back and doesn't touch the pda for a good long moment before picking it back up ]

Okay
Why were you talking about me with him?

( it's in his locker... can he even get in... but the tissue? the tissue has been with him since day 1... and rokkun ruined it!!! )

you have to stay with me, and not leave at all...
don't leave me, okay?

( rokkun can parse that any way that he wants, but i promise this request has nothing to do with the sleepover unlike the last one. komaeda looks up at him, eyes locked onto the other's own. )

why do you think we would talk about you?

[ He has to look down to read Komaeda's words, and his gaze lingers on them, at the request not to leave, of the awareness that he does tend to get up and leave when there's something he doesn't agree with, like he has to remove himself from the situation before he does something he will regret.

Why would the two of them talk about him, though? Whatever reasons he's coming up with doesn't sit well with him, but maybe it's just the discomfort of being talked about by somebody who knows how he can be. It's definitely something bad, because you don't hold a discussion over good things and have to decide which one of you should talk to the person involved. Maybe it's about... hm. ]

I'll always be with you
I won't leave
And I don't know
Don't make me guess, Nagito
I'm here to listen

[ Don't try to guide him through this and have him make his own assumptions, he is very doomsday about his assumptions ]

( of course he'd account for that, as much as komaeda is always told he's running away, he knows that the other does the same. there has to be a way to ground him, or he'll leave without a second thought because that's the safest alternative for him, to distance himself. why rokuro does that isn't a mystery, and the ultimate is no longer surprised, and rather he welcomes it, but this time he doesn't give him the option. )

...
actually, you're here to read.

( maybe he should tell rokkun not to lie to him, the idea is there, but he takes back the pda as he taps on the screen. he stops every so often, staring at the blank screen once he backspaces a few times, and then he types once again. asking the other that question gave him nothing, but it's probably that he's afraid of what thoughts he'd come to — not wanting them to be real. )

i'll tell you if you guess at least once, i want to know what's on your mind.
every time i ask, you play it off as white noise.

( because he does, but also, what doomsday theory is in his head? )

[ No, Komaeda shouldn't want to know the paranoia that is ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555552674rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .o'][

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[ white noise, but anyways, he has to actually think, because there is very little reason he should ever be brought up in any conversation. He hasn't been at school, so it can't be for schoolwork. He isn't aware of any interest Amami might have in soccer or art. Komaeda already said it has nothing to do with that memory of his death, and the only other things he can think of that makes him stand out in any way are the marks on his wrist and his graduation plans, both of which are also very private matters that, if he suggested this, would only make Komaeda feel insulted again. ]

Is it about the jacket?

[ That Rokkun flipped out over the last time he remembers talking with Amami and walked out on, but while it's the stupidest idea that comes to mind, it's the only one that makes sense. If he came up, it must be his last interaction with him. ]

( his mind was calibrating. his eyes glance down at the pda, looking at the words that took the other a moment, and it's a little... what? jacket? first, he pinches the jacket that he's wearing now, but then he recalls the previous jacket that's stowed away in his "locker". talking about that, komaeda never really got much from amami other than "did you set me up?" well, there's more, but this was a long time ago when they ever spoke about that jacket, and komaeda still stands by the fact that rokkun just wanted the jacket back in general. )

no... we spoke about it before, but not recently.
did you give him the rock he has now? it's very kind of you to help an ultimate!

( maybe he shouldn't make this about amami, anyways. )

he wanted to ask you about your sibling.
this was before i spoke to you about your memories...
considering how you reacted to me, would it have been different if an ultimate like him came to you?
maybe you would have been more... calmer?

( he sure did throw a tantrum. )

Just because he has a complex, that doesn't mean I can relate

[ Talk to him about his sibling for what?? He's not going to sit around with Amami and talk about their siblings like that's the only common ground they have. But he would have been calm, yeah. He would have calmly walked away. ]

My family has nothing to do with him, anyways
There's really nothing to talk about

( is he offended? or shocked by the reply? "your family has everything to do with him," is what komaeda would type if he took back the pda. instead, he stares at it like he's thinking too hard about what to say next. he brings his knees up to his chest, laying his cheek on the top of his knees.

okay, wait. )

a complex about what?

( listen, komaeda doesn't even know this man has a sibling kink, and you know what, they've never really talked about family. whatever rokkun knows... maybe that should stay with him. )

Being called "onii-san"

[ Komaeda isn't the only person he pays attention to... there was Rika too and it's hard not to notice things when you've got beef with the other person

He doesn't want to talk about Amami though, he's not important ]

What did he want to ask?

( "onii-san"... he's going to stare at the pda, and slowly delete it... he does have a story of attachment to those when it comes to family, doesn't he? he'll tap on the screen a little more... )

why haven't you met with... them.

( maybe something along the lines of it, he doesn't know how amami would start, but komaeda having taken part in rokkun's memory didn't believe that he should run in asking the other questions like that. no matter how good the intentions were. )

[ He was about to ask the dumb question of "who's 'them'" but reels himself back a little. His siblings. Why are they even talking about this? ]

I have to graduate first

[ It's why he's doing what he's doing, Komaeda needn't ask him this. ]

no you don't.

( for the past month, he's never had to... graduate to see them, but even as komaeda thinks about it, what will rokkun do with that option. what's the point of graduating when there's the 100% chance of meeting them here. his hands remain on the pda, a small smile on his face as he wonders if this is his place. if he should even be doing this, digging into someone's family relationship when he wouldn't understand it. even noah has said it to komaeda, he wouldn't understand anything about family. )

you can graduate, but you can meet them here as well. you have both options.

[ He frowns at this, because hadn't Komaeda just told him he would never lie to him? Something as ridiculous like this... he's probably talking about a "memory" or something intangible like that, which doesn't serve his purposes. ]

My baby brother is 3
My little sister is 10
They're not here

( honest to a fault, lies when he needs to, but he has never lied to him — the information he has is just words the other never let him say. so he's still honest to rokkun, always have been, but to see rokkun frown causes komaeda to rethink his next moves. his own hand lifts to his own lips, dragging his thumb along the bottom to make sure that he's not frowning himself. )

the world outside kept moving without us, right?
will you humor me, if we go together to watch who i believe is your young sibling?
...you can't say who you are, you'll act like a stranger, and tell me what you think.
i'll even hold your hand through the entire thing.

[ It's 3-something in the morning and "go together to watch" makes him feel like Komaeda is bringing him to some kid's bedroom window to press their faces against the glass while watching them sleep ]

Sure, I'll humor you

[ At the risk of getting caught by the police, he'll be able to prove Komaeda wrong and get to hold his hand at the same time, the trade off is maybe worth it. ]

( why is he A FREAK STOP!!! it's not like that, but maybe it's a good thing komaeda had only said holding hands, and nothing about like... acting like his date or something. that would have probably went badly, aside from that, he's slightly surprise that the other is willing to go through with it. he eyes lift up to watch rokkun for a moment, trying to see if there's anything sincere in his eyes, but then he'll reach out for the pda. )

we'll have to get up early, so i guess sleeping here is fine...

( he's slept outside the door in the dorms before, so by the vending machine can't be too bad. he has rokkun's jacket too, shorter than his own, but it'll do what needs to be done. )

what were you like as a first year?

[ ? Sleeping here isn't fine, he already has a headache and now his back and neck are going to hurt from sleeping on the ground for whatever is left of the night because of course he would.

what was he like as a first yeah, though... he doesn't often think back that far ]

My very first year I failed my classes because I was too busy trying to smash the windows

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