yogen | npc contact.2

( thinking how their dad is on the black market, so you never know. )

Is my will not enough?

( not like he didn't give his will, but he looks at the top of npckun's head like he doesn't care much for the answer. )

But let's talk about you, I don't care about them right now...

[ Maybe they don't want to be like their dad ]

Me? What about me?

( they're better than their dad, look how accomplished npckun is?

he wants to talk about them because he likes them best compared to others that could come to mind at the moment. )

I've noticed... you hate something that I do.

I hate a lot of things you do.

[ But this isn't about Komaeda, they thought this was supposed to be about them. ]

I'm a very hated person.

( tell him something that he doesn't know, anyway. )

When I touch your head, you seem to... react in a certain manner, do you want me to stop touching you?

[ They want to argue that they can hate the things a person does but still love them as a person; that seems to be the trend with father figures. But they're distracted by the question— and the proceeding claim, especially, which makes them pull back and place their own hands on their head as if testing out whatever sort of reaction Komaeda is talking about.

...

They let their hands drop. ]

I don't react any weird way. Don't stop touching me.

( don't argue it because komaeda will just get petty and try to leave, he likes being the top hated person because then no one has to hate each other. he watches npckun touch their head, and see no reaction makes him feel like he's observing a spice challenge.

he raises his hand again, hovering it over their head. )

...What if I'm told to? Stop touching you, I mean.

( slowly, he places his hand promptly on top, running his fingers through their hair. )

[ There's that little reflexive jolt again that npckun seems to think nothing of, that happens even though they watch Komaeda's hand approach the entire time and should know when to expect the weight on their head, fingers combed through their hair as it's happened a number of times before. ]

Since when do you do what you're told?

...Why do you do it?

( you think he's going to ignore it after seeing it again, no matter how many times npckun brushes it off... it's visible again, and a detail he keeps noticing. )

You can tell me, unless you'd rather I ask a different question.

Do what? It's not...

[ They frown a little, touching the top of their head. It's like asking why they breathe or blink— this isn't something they ever consider. ]

I told you it's okay. I'm okay.

...Ah, then it's fine to ask something else?

( he asks, blinking slow as he removes his hand when he sees npckun touch their head again. he doesn't want to be in the way, so he's cautious as he watches, and drops his hand to the side.

i was about to be like wait i have something for them, but that's post coma. now they must carry on with komaeda looking a little defeated because he thinks npckun lies to him. )

[ npckun day 1: con artist ]

...Yeah. What do you want to know?

...

( he can ask something else, or he can just lay here and stare whole he's quiet without saying anything. it's like he's trying to catch npckun slipping or second guess the next thing that they say. either way, there's a plan to this despite being a little annoying about it. )

...

[ ...

okay, so he doesn't want to know anything, that's fine with them. Apparently they're lying down and this is the naptime thread so they're just going to press up against Komaeda and physically lift his arms so that he's hugging them. They're the little spoon. ]

( thanks for letting komaeda be the big spoon, but this is the naptine thread so npckun is technically allowed to sleep. free them now and reward yourself with a thread with both of them later, and komaeda can ask his questions when they aren't la...

...

...

...

... )

Is Akehoshi-kun your romantic interest?

( big spoon thoughts. )

[ HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO SLEEP NOW ]

No more questions.

( ? IS HE SUPPOSED TO SLEEP? npckun can sleep to ignore komaeda, and then he'll sleep. )

You didn't say no...

( hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. nvm, HE'LL sleep with this information first. )

Okay, goodnight.

[ STOP ]

Refusal to speak is not an admission of guilt!

[ can't sleep if they're yelling!!! ]

You're blushing.

( whether they are or not, will they call komaeda's bluff. )

[ they're not!! or if they are, Komaeda can't tell because their back is to him and they're going to elbow him in the gut ]

( you know what, komaeda's going to bruise because of that... and then he'll blame npckun for everything!! there's a quick raise of his hand to cover his mouth, a slight cough, and he'll keep his arm in place, but back up a little just in case. )

Are you that upset with me... I don't really lie about my thoughts, but every move you make confirms my suspicions.

( he thinks it's funny, that's why he chuckles just a bit as he waits for the pain to subside before pulling the other closer to him. he's trying to snuggle properly!! )

If it gets to be too much, I'll let you go... okay?

[ puffs their mochi cheeks except Komaeda can't see ]

Talking about it makes my heart hurt, so I don't like it...

[ Whether it's embarrassment or anxiety or a crush in every sense of the word, they don't know, they're not going to think about it, instead choosing to lean back and press themselves up against Komaeda as much as they can.

Don't think about it... ]

Does it?

( sure, embarrassing them gives him the opportunity to see something cute, but that sort of reply makes komaeda stare at the back of their head, curious. he has all sorts of thoughts as to why, the reason that their heart hurts, and why they probably don't like it. he wonders if it has something to do with everything at the end, will they not be able to stay with him? or is it because they think they may lose him along the way? handling feelings is sort of a tricky situation that even komaeda doesn't know how to do, but maybe npckun could do better — they handle affection way better, they gain the attention of others even more. )

...That's a good thing that your heart can do that, it means you care. If you felt nothing, then that's a different story.

I can't imagine feeling nothing...

[ Even when they lost everything and it would have been so much easier to stop feeling, all they could do was cry and cry and cry until their eyes hurt and head felt full and chest felt empty— it was all still feeling. Even when it's something that's supposed to be good, like love, the nervousness takes over, their heart feeling more like it's trembling than beating, as if it's capable of making a wrong move and destroy the fragility of whatever relationship they've managed to build up with another person. The heartbeat equivalent of holding their breath, and the longer they're around somebody feeling that way the more it hurts.

If they think about it, being here with Komaeda hurts a little too, and it's all they can do to curl their arms up and find Komaeda's hands. ]

What do you feel around me?

...That's what I want to hear from you.

( it's difficult, but it's the better outcome that he has faced himself with for a long time now. komaeda tries his best not to feel anything, because as long as there's no feelings to apply, positive, then nothing negative will come into play. this is a sensitive subject where admitting things like his feelings, the company of others in an unhealthy light is normally spared, but genuine feelings that are nothing but ammunition to shoot down those he care about.

...
...

he'd rather not feel at all, in a way it's to keep those around him safe because he knows what will happen. he'd have to accept losing them eventually, no one is spared around him, and he's used to it, but sometimes... he allows his hands to remain in place, and he'll lace them without even thinking because there's another question on his mind. )

...That I should leave you alone, and that I shouldn't be here.

( that's the better alternative right? a person can read so much from that, even if he says one thing, and the way he pulls the other closer is another. )

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