npc contact.2

[adsum]

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[crystallomancy]

( Natsume hums softly, mulling it over. Yeah, it just might--especially if it's over years and years.

...Even he wouldn't want to remember everything. )

I wonder where those memories go when we lose THEM. Everything else intangible finds a place HERE. ( souls to a tree, feelings to toys ) Well... That's not imporTANT, I supPOSE.

( or it is, but... there are places he can't reach yet. bridging the gap between memories might be one of them. )

How many tallies do you HAVE, Senpai?

[adsum]

[ He opens his mouth to say something about memories, but then Natsume asks that question and he snaps his mouth closed again and nervously tugs the sleeve over his wrist. ]

S-sorry... That's private. If you go around asking people that, they aren't going to believe it comes from a place with good intentions.

[crystallomancy]

Of course they AREN'T. You only get tallies one of two ways: by dying or by kilLING.

( Are you a danger if you have too many, or are you easy prey? What does it say about people with less? He wishes he had less again, but we're all here to live with our mistakes. )

Are you more likely to trust someone with more tallies or less, and WHY?

[adsum]

Less.

[ It's an immediate response, one he says as if it's obvious. ]

...That's it, isn't it? Being around somebody who has a lot is a liability, one way or another... [ Either they're going to kill you, or you'll be drawn into situations where you're killed ]

Those without... they're new here. That, or they've managed survive this place without giving in or giving up.

[ It's still a gamble, but it's a less dangerous one. ]

[crystallomancy]

How judgmenTAL. What if those tallies are from defending themselVES? You don't know the stories behind a person's scars—no one but they DO.

( sometimes, after all, it's "kill the person trying to murder you". )

But I understand your POINT. ( He purses his lips, then looks off to the side like he's not sure he wants to really say, but he's just playing it up; he isn't part of a theater group for nothing. ) I only have TWO, and I don't remember how I got either of THEM. I was just asking you about yours because I wanted to know if you remembered how you got YOURS... Or how many you remembered, anyWAY.

( Some of that is a lie, but it's not as if everyone knows his crimes. It's fine. )

If there's a connection between... how they were gained and if you remember THEM.

( ...is he going to remember the one where he pushed a girl down the stairs, for example? It would be fitting, but distressing. )

[adsum]

[ Defending themselves a dozen times, though? One or two is reasonable, but there's a line somewhere where innocence becomes tough to sell. ]

...I remember most of mine. I wouldn't be able to tell you why, though. Maybe it's because I'd feel guilty about forgetting. I don't know.

[ Maybe the memories stick because he wants them to, as opposed to others who would rather forget, who would rather start a clean slate. ]

Rokuro remembers his too, but he's the only person I've really talked about this stuff with.

[crystallomancy]

So you two must be CLOSE. Highschool sweetHEARTS?




( i'm sorry? )

[adsum]

STOP! NO. You're wrong.

[ SHUT UPPPPPPPPP ]

[crystallomancy]

( HAHA? )

Ah, so it's a love unreTURNED... My condolenCES, Senpai ♪ But you KNOW... I'm a magiCIAN. If you'd like to change your lovelorn FATE, you need only ask me to mix you a love poTION.

[adsum]

[ STOP ]

No! I don't—

[ His hands fly up, almost settling on Natsume's shoulders so Akki can give him a rough shake to let him know just how serious he is, but his hands draw back before they touch him. ]

I do not want to be involved with him any more than necessary. I don't need anything like that.

[crystallomancy]

( —yes, thank you, don't touch him, he's bristling with the motion and... he's stepped back a little more, looking defensive, a hand drifting near his pocket before it drops away. )

...My apologies for teasing YOU. ( verily. ) If you don't want to be involved with him more than you ARE, why get involved with him at ALL?

[adsum]

[ There's a glance down at that pocket, and the distinct feeling he narrowly avoided being knifed in the gut. Okay... going to take his own step back too, for insurance. ]

Because... I hope he's right about something. And if he is, he's going to need me.

[crystallomancy]

( he wouldn't have stabbed akki............ maybe. he's trying to learn magic so he doesn't immediately go for killing!! ...maybe. )

And if he isn't RIGHT?

[adsum]

[ Looks at all our burnt corpses... He'd rather be stabbed. ]

Then... There's always next year, isn't there?

[crystallomancy]

( A stab a day keeps the magic away. )

Even for those who've lost this YEAR?

[adsum]

...They'll be back too, eventually. Most of them, anyways.

[ Dying as a third year doesn't mean you're shit out of luck, at least from how Akki understands it. ]

[crystallomancy]

...What happens to the ones who don't come BACK? Did they give up and decide it wasn't worth trying aGAIN, or—

( Natsume stops himself, shaking his head. )

There's not an answer for that I supPOSE.

( people who don't come back don't tell you why or what. )

[adsum]

I don't know. Those who graduate are never seen again, but that's the only constant that I'm aware of.

[ But that's not dying, that's graduating, and he needs to keep those two things separate in his mind. ]

The ones who don't come back... I don't think it was their choice. At least, if I knew them as well as I thought they did.

[crystallomancy]

So they were FORCED?

( ... )

They might've moved on in their own WAY, even if it wasn't on their own TERMS. ( For an optimistic thought. Well, "optimistic". ) Sometimes you have to give people a little PUSH.

[adsum]

[ Sometimes you have to push your friends off a cliff if they won't jump, but that doesn't stop Akki from being wildly apprehensive about the notion of being pushed before he's ready. ]

Maybe. It doesn't stop the choice between infinity and oblivion from being so hard, though.

[crystallomancy]

( Gonna push Akki before he's ready. )

...If you were given the choice right NOW, to jump or be PUSHED, which would you TAKE? Don't THINK.

[adsum]

No— neither!

[ He's going to have to push Akki ]

[crystallomancy]

( HMMMMMMMMMMMM Natsume's gonna push him. Physically. )

[adsum]

W-what was that for?!

[ WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BULLY AAAA ]

[crystallomancy]

( WHY ARE YOU LETTING SOMEONE LIKE HALF A HEAD SHORTER OR SOMETHING THAN YOU BULLY YOU AAAA )

Because you didn't make a deciSION, so the default was "get PUSHED".　( ♪ ) You can't live life being so on the fence about THINGS, Senpai. Neither sex finds that an attractive feaTURE.