yogen | npc contact.3

What good is will without results?

[ Intention is all good and well, but ultimately useless. Actions are what matter, especially when pressed, coerced, manipulated, backed into a corner... That's when it gets fun to watch. ]

I think you overestimate how much I do. As I've said before, my position is that of a mirror, and my actions account for very little.

Hm... Then why are they upset with you?

( if he's a mirror, they don't want their own person to be reflected at them, they want guidance, even at a very going age. he doesn't offer names since the counselor is smart enough to know who this pertains to, and komaeda now makes a quick move to sit on the desk. )

I don't recall my father, but I believe I grew up better without him...

Not everybody likes what they see when they look in a mirror.

[ He sets the bowl of macadamia nuts between himself and Komaeda. Feel free to have one. ]

Of course, you do not miss what you never had. Whether or not you long for that missing something is another concern altogether.

...Hm. ( he looks down to the bowl, but his eyes drift up to look at the counselor next — they don't like what they see in the mirror? )

When did you become a mirror, Arata-san?

( when he no longer felt like he could take care of children, because komaeda's not in the same boat, but he finds that he's a pretty decent caretaker. well, he watched over his own set of children.

he'll take a few of the nuts, but then he'll pull out his bag of cat treats...... he has like three left, iirc. maybe lily may would want both. )

[ According to Google it'll make her sick. Won't stop her from wanting them, though. ]

When... That's hard to say, isn't it? When do you become the person you are... You aren't born the person you are, and it isn't so simple as having a single defining moment.

( omg she can't have them, it's fine, she can have a treat... he will open the bag, will she come in this room? )

It does, there's always a defining moment. ( like when komaeda died to become hope, etc etc. ) Who do you think you are? That's where we start...

( he clears his throat, thinking for a moment. ) When we first met, you wanted to only be the counselor despite normal therapists offer their name so you can feel... equal. ( oh god, here we go. ) Two, if you're a mirror, you reflect everyone, you have no individuality, if I wanted to talk to myself, I'd do so.

( he uses a third finger now to offer his thoughts. )

Hm, it's easy to take other people's burdens and avoid your own that way.

[ Who is he? Just the counselor. A job, a role. Somebody with no name and no attachments, there in the background, largely ignorable and unimportant, doing what he is meant to be doing... And not even his chosen profession, at that.

A concept, rather than a person. ]

Other people's burdens do tend to be easier to handle. There's the outside perspective, the ability to be objective, impartial.

[ His own problems? ... He leans back on the desk, tossing a nut into his mouth. Crunch crunch. ]

We are not equals. Do not mistake that.

You're beneath me, ah... why am I so misunderstood...

( he may come here to talk to him, but who's the ultimate, and who is the person stuck with a job — but he says that nicely, as if he's playful about it. komaeda's serious, though. )

Arata-san... do you think you're unlikeable?

[ ... There's some truth in that, but nothing the counselor will get into, crunching his nut and pretending to think it over. ]

No.

[ picks up another nut ]

It takes just one person to refute that claim, and despite what I am, even I have others I consider friends.

You have friends?

( that's a shocker, like, who does he... oh. wait, that makes a whole lot of sense, he sees: )

You must mean Mimi?

[ He lets out a laugh ]

The other one.

Ahaha! Koko!

( he'll take a few nuts, and he'll try like two, and then he realizes, he wants three... then four. )

What do you two talk about? I talk to Lily May when I can, let's trade secrets! So, Lily May has a specific foo type.

[ ...those are his nuts, buddy, sharing was to be polite, we're not going halfsies ]

Oh, this and that. Mimi does try hard to be accommodating, doesn't she? But you're correct that even she has her preferences. Koko on the other hand... you'll find to be quite the stubborn one.

How do I get Bev to talk to me?

( he's going to jump off the table with the nuts, because they've gone in halfsies apparently, and he licks his lips after. thank you for the food. )

Bev is so feisty, and always ready to attack, but I truly mean no harm! You have to know a trade secret.

[ He would've gone with sweet snacks to circumvent this, but he can't do too much sweet either, so, hmm, ]

I do, but I will not take away the satisfaction of learning that on your own. It's the same with people; you know that. Second-hand knowledge never does a person justice.

I could tell you what I know, and then you can say if I'm on the right track or now, how's that?

( sweets are disgusting, just say counselor is flirting with komaeda because a way to a man's heart is through the salty stomach. )

Bev likes high places, I see them up there... a lot. Hm...

Hm.

[ Sure is a cat thing, yeah. High places, avoidance, giving people dirty looks... But he's sure little Koko has shown more personality than just "unproperly socialized cat" ]

( LILY MAY DOESN'T DO THIS TO KOMAEDA!!! bev's a demon... clawing people's eyes out??? what does that cat do aside from... )

Ran away... into a room where there was a gun...

( or was that lily may? dementia. hm...

...

...

... )

Where does Bev like to be aside from coming here?

[ I finally have a second cat to shape Bev's personality around and so far it's M U R D E R

cute, though ]

Here and there. Aside from those high places, you don't often see that cat around, do you?

[ Unlike Lily May who has no trouble getting underfoot when there's a lot of people around, Laurie Bev doesn't seem to hang out with people. Preferences might, then, be places where there aren't a lot of people, like the counselor's office, or...? ]

( scratches your face and bites your ears after 9 hrs of sleep. )

This is presumptuous of me, but I tend to try and engage with every person and thing I meet. I'm not afraid of the consequences.

( perhaps that's why he's in this position that he doesn't understand, why he feels like half of these relationships are suffocating, and how he wishes he could detach properly.

don't you tell me laurie bev be out there in the courts. )

I've met it once or twice, and maybe if I'm lucky, that one will appear to eat... You rarely hear anyone talk about it.

Is that so strange to a creature that naturally blends into the shadows and makes no effort to stand out? There are three hundred students in this school— we lose some, we gain some, but the number is kept pretty steady throughout the school year. Most students are just like that black cat.

[ Ignored. What makes Komaeda so interested? It's just a cat. ]

If you say that... Kaneko-kun said I never noticed him because... he didn't stand out, or something along the lines. Are you saying if I force myself to acknowledge that cat, I'll see it more often?

( like how the npcs are never seen, but one day they suddenly have a name and face, and they're part of their life. considering he's saying the cat blends into the shadows. )

Hm...

You're familiar with the Baader–Meinhof phenomenon, aren't you? The frequency bias that suggests that noticing something once, has you noticing something more often, which leads you to believe it exists more often.

[ But also, yeah. Sometimes you force yourself to acknowledge an npc and tag the npc contact with them and see them more often that way. ]

It's almost as if you're able to see things that aren't there... if only you pay attention.

It's all cognitive, so my eyes aren't any use if my mind doesn't align properly.

( that's true, that's how... life works, basically, but some can go years and years without noticing someone, just like komaeda who ignores everything, but keeps walking — he doesn't have time to stop. hm, recently he has been looking around, adding new colors to his black and white world that he lives in, but only a bit. )

...If you forget, it'll disappear until there's something to jog your memory, but that means... the cat has always been there, I just never paid it any mind if this is the method we're going by.

( is this how npcs disappear. )

Is that why you prefer the black cat to the white, hidden in the shadows, unknown, but sees everything, almost like you.

[ That's how npcs disappear, with their generic appearances where nothing stands out so that you don't notice when they're there, and you don't notice when they're not. The counselor too, once he leaves this school, is just another face in the streets. ]

Haha... You make it sound as if I'm omniscient.

[ ... ]

I like both cats.

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