Entry tags:

bulletin board updates

✽ There are several new points of interest at the bulletin board this month, most prominently a wooden box with the slit on the top just large enough to drop a sheet of paper inside. Above is an explanation of Secret Santa and a form to fill out for those interested in participating to write down their name, homeroom, and locker number. Sign-ups close on 12/5, and following assignments, gifts may be given in person or through one of the student council members if anonymous gifting is preferred (contact the mod to hire a stuco elf).
✽ Right next to this box is a poster with a large orange giraffe painted on it. The contents of the poster has nothing to do with giraffes, but rather, is an advertisement for student store commissions featuring quality work with quick turnarounds and a special discount for the month of December if you buy five or more commissions, or bring the shopkeep a warm drink and maybe a snack while they're working.
✽ To the side of the class roster and current ranks is a digital countdown, and scrawled on the bulletin board itself is the message "You're almost there! You can do it! One more push!" but it's unclear whether this message refers to the countdown to the new year, or to the long glass tube situated along the edge of the bulletin board next to it. Maybe both. The tube looks similar to a graduated cylinder, holding a total volume of 5000 ml and currently containing 4850 ml of dark red (presumably) blood, hot to the touch. It can not be broken or removed. The mod will be in contact if any character action this month causes the volume to change.
✽ A neatly typed notice, half buried under all the other announcements, contains a reminder that tuition will be due soon for those students continuing to study at Yogen. If tuition is not paid in full by the end of February, "compensation" will be taken instead.
✽ And finally, there is a notice from the student council that proof of club activity is once again due for submission to the student council by 12/24, otherwise the club will be dissolved and resources taken back. Please submit activity proof to the toplevel below.

12/20 - 12/24 finals week

✽ The week before winter break is finals, with many students cramming as many math formulas and foreign country leaders into their heads as possible without it all spilling over, while other students have decided to chance the practicum instead. Those who have signed up for the practicum are asked to meet inside the auditorium after homeroom at the start of the day while test takers begin their written exams. Students are allowed to change their minds on which to take, up until the end of homeroom on Monday, after the bell rings and the doors close.
✽ For the test takers, finals last for five days, from 8AM until noon each day, after which students are allowed to go home, or have lunch and continue studying in their homerooms or in the library. At the end of finals on Friday, students are asked to remain in their homerooms over lunch break while their exams finish being graded, after which homeroom teachers will return and ask certain students to go with them to the faculty office. These are the failing students. Which the homeroom teachers themselves have the pleasure of executing for their failures. All other students are dismissed and wished a happy winter break.
✽ For those opting for the practicum, finals last for two days, from 8AM until noon on Monday and Tuesday. All students from all grades meet in the auditorium the first day and are told the very simple rules for this semester's practicum: in order to raise your failing grade, all you have to do is kill another student, upon which you take their points for yourself. At the start of both days, students first gather in the auditorium for a headcount and then are given a half hour no-killing grace period during which they are allowed to scatter and find the best sniping/ambushing/hiding spots. The hunt is limited to four hours each day and kills must be done on campus; any kills done outside of these parameters are just for fun and do not count towards their final grade. Points are given for kills involving students in the same grade level of different homerooms (e.g. third years only benefit from killing other third years) and points are revoked for kills involving other grade levels or test takers not participating in the practicum. They studied hard, leave them alone. Most students need only one or two kills to pass, but multiple kills stack and earn them extra credit that will carry over to the next semester. Students who end the second day with a still failing grade will be called to the faculty office. ... All remaining students are dismissed and wished a happy (early!) winter break.
✽ A winter storm starts to whip up around noon on the 24th, raging through the night before settling down come morning, blanketing the entire campus with several feet of snow.

OOC

✽ PC faculty still have finals: they will either take written exams excluding that of their own subject, or they can take the practicum. Players with faculty characters are asked to reply to the toplevel below to indicate the number of failed students per class, but characters do NOT have to ICly be responsible for killing failed students. Unless they're cool with that, and if so, please let me know.
✽ This is a reminder that for any character that murders (again, please let me know), they will experience the same pain the following night and lose powers/abilities for one week. Two weeks after the murder, +1 tally and +100 merit points will be awarded for each kill.
✽ The void in the auditorium continues to grow, and (pending character interaction) by the end of the month will encompass the entire right wing of all floors, including the locker area but not the rooftop. Please mind the void, murderers.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Rio nods. If his information is correct, he thinks that the way to leave is breaking a mirror; however, he doesn't object to being told. Truthfully, he'd just gotten a quick starter on information on this place though, so the accuracy and practical use were limited. He was learning from others, but that took time, and it was difficult when there were so many other factors at play.

He focuses on the present, stepping out ahead now. He glances to him for direction, but otherwise seems to assume he'll be stopped if needed. He takes Komaeda's prosthetic hand as he does so. He'll adjust his pace to something manageable for Komaeda, and adjust based on the movement of his arm and the sound of his footsteps. That is one of the things he does miss about his previous partner. Safalin could move quickly when she wanted to. With Komaeda, he's pretty sure that if there's ever a need to move that quickly he's going to just have to toss him over his shoulder or something.

He remains cognizant of that shadow, but it's not hard to see his eyes flicking around once more as he moves along. ]

Yeah, got it.

[ It's not quite like him to pull forward in unknown situations, where he was more inclined to defer to somebody who knew what was going on (which was the logical choice even now.) But perhaps his next question will offer a little clarification on that - ]

You okay?

( his pattern of getting around is as what rio knows, komaeda takes his time, not seeing himself in a hurry, but he's not slow about it by any means; he's very his pace. as the other takes his hand, komaeda's eyes widen for a moment as he's brought along because he didn't expect it so soon, maybe later, but not now. most of the time, komaeda will walk ahead or walk slow, never at the same pace as another person, and that's taking his luck into account. what if something happens in front of him, or behind him, and his thoughts are maybe it'll terrorize him first before the other person.

it's how in scary movies people decide to be in the middle because the front and the back would have to be taken down before anyone can reach the center. with one step after the other, his eyes watches the shadow, but not in worry or fear, just curiosity considering the last time he was here with someone. his organic hand squeezes shut, slipping it into his pocket next to hide it from the outside. )

I'm perfectly fine to a degree, but do you remember what I told you last month? ( he turns to look at him as they pass by the first shadow person that wanders the hall, there's a quick twitch when they do, but it doesn't seem willing to bother them; too fascinated with the nurse's office. ) If I told you to stay away from me...

( it's like a test, one he'll have to instill into rio so that he gets the idea, because he does what he wants that's best for himself and his partner. komaeda doesn't fault him for that, but there's no need fighting an enemy that can overwhelm, especially when it can be avoided. )

You know what to do, right?

... Hm.

[ He glances back. It's a little more complicated than knowing what to do. While he doesn't easily comprehend it, no more than he can any supernatural phenomena, he takes it seriously when Komaeda talks about luck. By the same token, Rio doesn't process things like a human does - humans are slow and clumsy in their thoughts, which leads to mistakes, but an AI has no such problems. In terms of pure logical response, there was no match.

How did you reconcile those two factors? How did you meld together something so irrational, so illogical with something that was so thoroughly grounded in the best that human advancements had to offer? Even now, he's not sure. He's not sure, and everything in his nature tells him to look out for his partner. It's like a trust fall on both sides, but neither one of them wants to be the one taking the plunge. ]

I'll take what you say seriously.

[ But Rio won't make any promises. It's the same answer as before. He can make no guarantees, he can only try to figure out who is falling and who is catching at the exact moment that it happens. ]

( is that what he said last time, as komaeda closes his eyes to think back, it doesn't come to him as instantly as he should; but it sounds right, rather it's a... rio ranger thing of him to say. his eyes open slowly, and he understands that this is the way he has to work with their time within the void world where everything remains dark, foreboding, and holds such a negative aura that the ambience always give off a creepy feeling like they're being watched from all sides; or that's the shadows that go to and fro' through the halls. )

If we're separated, don't look for me, and I'll meet you at the rooftop.

( that seems to be the rendezvous point because as they move forward, they'll come to see a few more shadow students walking through the hall, all making their way to the place they just left. it would be fine if the hall's light didn't flicker above them, popping as glass rains down before them, but komaeda wary of his own talent is quick to pause, his hand squeezing the other's tightly to keep him in place as the shattered pieces make home on the floor in front of them.

it's not the only light down the hall, but one hangs high on the ceiling as the right wing is engulfed by a murky darkness, covering everything in it's path. they can go near it if rio's curious, or they can go up the next flight of stairs, but komaeda seems to be looking towards the void as if he's willing to accompany the other to check it out if he wants. )

... Alright.

[ There's a hint of hesitation to that agreement, but he nods to force himself to commit to the idea. Komaeda wasn't a child, nor a dependent; he should be able to handle himself if separated. Besides that, only fools ran around wasting time and inviting further danger by searching for each other. Even so, he has to take in a breath as he considers the idea. It's something about the atmosphere, he supposes - it's oppressive, and the idea of being alone is unsettling in a way that it normally isn't.

He stops when prompted, watching as the shattered glass rains down and falls to the floor. He idly wonders how many tiny shards would get into hair and onto clothes. It was amazing how far shattered glass could go. He looks between the light and the staircase, trying to come to a conclusion. Both options seem to have potential net gains and losses, and so he looks to Komaeda now. He notes the direction that he's looking in, but asks regardless, ]

What do you think?

[ Forward, or up? ]

You can touch it if you want.

( the void, if he's curious about the texture, or how it just feels like an endless black hole that's swallow him up, then he can try; he's seen add climb up from it. he knows that people can and will fly down into it, finding nothing until they come back up. truth be told, he doesn't know how much that would add to rio's data, or if it'd even be useful when he can move to the next floor, and no longer have to suffer the chances of shadow students turning around, and accosting them at the edge of the void. )

Going up would be best, but your interest is what matters too.

( going up the stairs, or having komaeda walk with rio across broken glass that could cause him to slip, the mere chance that he could stumble into the void without anyway to save himself. that, and since the void goes further up, it's not like they have to stay here, since that wouldn't be the smartest option. he's accounting for the shadows, mostly, and he looks up the stairs next. he shouldn't play stupid when he doesn't have to, and so he bumps gently into rio, the direction that probably caters perfectly to them. )

Ready?

[ It's the conclusion he was starting to come to, but having it confirmed for him makes it that much quicker. His interests... Hm. Rio doesn't think that matters much when time is of the essence, and it always is. He nods to Komaeda when he's bumped with a word of affirmation, starting up the stairs without wasting a second more. ]

It's fine, there's always more of interest.

[ Speaking of... Komaeda had more or less said to look until he was content, but he has the sneaking suspicion that it would be ill advised to treat this like a field trip. That aside, he has far more on his mind than just little detour, and it seems as though time is always in short supply. He exhales softly. ]

How much is actually worth seeing here?

[ Everything, of course, but in the immediate term there was only so much that one need see at any given time. He's also occasionally looking to Komaeda, though, to see how he's doing. More practically, he thinks that it's probably not the greatest thing to leave a giant cut like that untreated. If Safalin were here, she no doubt would have tended to that by now... Unfortunately, Komaeda has to settle for him. ]

It depends, checking everything may work out in your favor... once I found important words here, rules halfway smudged out, and who knew it would save a fellow Ultimate's life.

( he was praised for it, and so he finds that you can be rewarded depending on if the hunt proves to be successful. this place works different from what they're used to, right now, it happens to be like an out-of-body experience, and once they leave this place then they'll wake up. whatever they find here won't come back with them, but rio's memory bank will prove more than important if they do. not having to write down or remember information, then making multiple trips back and forth saves them so much time. )

In otherwords; everything, and then nothing.

( the quick turn towards the steps, and komaeda lifts one foot after the other, walking accordingly as he talks. )

This place works perfectly to kill people as long as you know the tricks.

( it's the way rio looks back at him ever so often, seeing that they haven't even ran yet, there's only one thing he could be curious about. his nails are pressed into his palm where the wound is, and he smiles softly thinking he should reassure. )

Don't worry about my hand, Riokun, even being here with me sets off the shadow students.

I'm worried about you.

[ As in, he is concerned about the entire Nagito Komaeda. He does let out a sigh now though, shaking his head. It's correct, but there's a bit more to it. The card flips to the ice cream cone, and a hint of irritation creeps into his voice as he clarifies, ]

I'm used to Safalin taking care of stuff like that.

[ But by now, he has no reason to be following any of those little habits, and so he's frustrated with himself for not thinking to grab something to at least wrap it up in the interim. He's not ignoring the rest, and it's easy to see he's paying close attention to everything, but that weighs on him. He's not allowed to make those kinds of mistakes. But he doesn't want Komaeda to linger on it either, so he's quick to ask a couple follow up questions, ]

Is it a perfect mirror of the school? What do you mean by tricks?

[ He's assuming so, which would mean that any small change there would carry over here, which was in truth the entire point of this little exercise. ]

Edited 2021-12-10 21:16 (UTC)

( it's better that way when rio hurries up their conversation when sensitive subjects are brought up, and he doesn't want him to worry, because there's nothing to worry about. nagito komaeda is disposable for the right and wrong reasons, he's not someone people should cry about, or concern themselves with, he's more of a cushion of their negative emotions so that they'll be able to see a brighter, happier hope, one that's congested of everyone that manages to make something out their future. a hope where the world can be covered by a gracious light, giving purpose to themselves and others, so he doesn't see the need to fall back on someone left in the dark.

there's nothing he can do when he hears safalin's name, she must have been good at taking care of injuries, and dealing with the framework of rio — it makes sense to have a medic on hand. )

Sometimes you find a few interesting things that are different, but that adds to the weirdness of the school.

( he tries to recall how this place works with the version of the school they know, there's little differences, like how there were hidden notes behind the bulletin board, but if they check in their version of the world, there's nothing. )

The water where we reside has blood, but the water here is normal. If someone drops dead here, you can have the shadow students carry them away, and in our world... it's almost as if they died in their sleep. Rather peaceful. You'll stumble upon something here, but it's not in the "real" version of the school... an opened door that leads somewhere, but the moment you break a shard of glass to check... the door was never there.

( as they make it up the flight of stairs, they stand on the second floor where the void still holds onto the right side of the hall, devouring everything in its path. ) The dormitory is the old school building when you come to this side.

[ Rio hums thoughtfully as he takes that in. The school's water was dirty, so this place had clean water, whereas the rest of it was trashed. It sounds as though it isn't quite a mirror image, which works fine for him. He doesn't quite hurry along, as he's unable to do so while keeping a firm grip on Komaeda's hand, but he doesn't seem inclined to linger on any one thing for overlong. This was a tour and not a deep dive. The latter was always easier once a person had a good sense of the structure and layout, and he could pick up both quickly.

As it is, he'll be pushing open any doors he comes across so he can give the room a cursory glance to take in all the details of it and little more. ]

Interesting.

[ It's quite a bit of useful information, and there's a few things he could focus on now. He decides to start with the one that's most likely to get an answer. The card flips to the open-mouthed grin. ]

If you kill someone here, is there evidence of that left here? Y'know, what you'd normally expect from stabbing somebody to death or whatever you did.

[ That seems as though it'd be far too convenient, so he's doubtful, but he asks anyway. ]

It all resets... evidence is gone, so if you make a mess... you have to clean it on the other side.

( as someone who's seen many deaths while having to solve them, komaeda knows the first thing everyone searches for happens to be blood smears that would expose if someone used void mechanics to get by. rio's smart, so komaeda feels that if he did decide to murder, that he would be mindful considering how much data is stored in his mind. he figures that since it's only them here, that he doesn't mind admitting a more risky plan, but he doesn't mind it considering rio must have noticed the way shadow students halt when komaeda walks past them. )

I wondered if I brought someone here, and cut myself worse, would they stampede. ( considering what happened the last time he was brought here with someone, ) It'll be an easy death, throwing them into jaws of those creatures!

( with his free hand, he lifts his hand to point at his head from the side to show he's thinking about it, but he'll be able to see the deep cut in his hand from how he messed with it. messy, dry blood along the palm that stands out against his white skin. )

Isn't it amazing! Such a terrifying amount of bad luck follows me through each and every turn of this place! That means good luck is sure to follow...! It makes me excited to think about!

( his prosthetic holds onto rio's hand a little tighter regardless, he doesn't know that it does, though. he dismisses anything else with a hearty chuckle, and he looks over to the other to reassure him. )

...Ahaha, so you can let go, hearing such depressing things must turn you off...

( in a way, he wants to warn him so that he lets go and avoid anything horrible by his choice alone. )

[ If you make a mess, you have to clean it on the other side... Hm, what a hassle. In that case, a bloodless death might be ideal. For example, strangulation... He thinks a rope would be good for that. Then again, that wouldn't be difficult to do elsewhere either. It was easy enough for him to clean up a corpse. Then again, just shoving somebody in and hitting the on button worked too. It really is a useful tool. He's fond of such ideas, believing that the best murder should be one that no one realized occurred.

Rio keeps his thoughts to himself, finding that it's little more than a fun thought experiment. He finds that Komaeda's thoughts are more interesting than his own, and he stops after the first sentence to give his undivided attention to him, the card flipping back to the ice cream cone. He isn't surprised, but nor is he disappointed, to find that he opts to veer off in a completely different direction. It's not the kind of idea that he would normally come up with... Luck, hm. ]

Not particularly.

[ He keeps his hold on Komaeda's hand, and he gives him a gentle tug to signify that he's going to start walking again once he's finished offering his thoughts. ]

I don't like plans that have a high risk factor myself, so I'd go with something different. But if you could get it right, then I guess it might work. It seems reasonable enough to me.

[ Back to the grin. ]

Well, if somebody lets it happen, it's their own fault, don't you think? If you want to avoid being killed by someone, you should just kill them first.

[ That goes for him too, naturally. He's chosen to trust Komaeda regardless of that. ]

Sometimes... I can't help myself getting into them, I don't mind, because whatever horrible happens, I know I'm owed something good after!

( he laughs as soon as he's tugged in a direction, and he moves, walking along the hall with him that happens to be classrooms. there's not much in them aside from broken tables and desks, nothing that's interesting as they move through, but it's not every day he has someone holding onto his hand making sure he's close by. he glances down at their hands for a moment before looking back up at the orange of rio's hair, staring at the curled tips. )

That said... I wouldn't allow someone to have such a hopeless death, they have to amount to something greater for them! Making sure hope is done correctly is such an easy job! That's why I take care of everyone's here, but if I found myself in a situation where it's killed or be killed...

( that situation with dito was just that, but komaeda decided to drive the spear into himself rather than letting him do it — but people stood in the way, they wasted their time, and if they didn't perhaps komaeda could have been disposed of by now, and he wonders if his death then would have meant anything. instead, he watches an ultimate get hurt, and wasted the time of those involved, and for what? )

I will say the deaths so far have been... interesting so far! Lucifer-kun, ....Dito-kun, Ebalon-kun, and Amami-kun had a spectacular murder! ( he turns to pull rio into a classroom, because while komaeda is carefree, he chooses his own direction as he walks through. )

...There was one person I wanted to kill, she always said, if I killed her, not to leave her alone. I thought about it, I would have stayed and then encased what hope she had left in the frozen room of the principal's office afterwards.

( hm, hm, hm... going to look out the window, and it's just dark outside... )

[ Rio doesn't object when Komaeda takes the lead, easily slipping into stop behind and slightly to one side of him. From his current position he watches what's ahead of his partner, and his vulnerable back. If something was ahead, he could pull them out of the way; if something snuck up behind, he would be the alarm system. With that in mind, he makes a point of listening carefully and looking over his shoulder every so often.

He thinks about it. There had been quite a few bodies piled up when he first showed up. It seemed like a huge mess. It was interesting enough, but he does have to agree with Inaba that at some point it just got stupid to watch people killing each other. It was dull, repetitive, and people always had the same motives. No matter how much make up they put on it it was the same droll few stories each and every time. He has no interest in getting involved with such nonsense. But there was no sense in saying such things, and so he listens to this alternate perspective instead.

But then again, if it were the person in front of him who had decided to follow through on it...

...

He breathes out a single, amused little sound that's nearly inaudible even to his own ears, because it wouldn't even be a question.

He steps up beside Komaeda and likewise looks out the window. ]

Don't all deaths lead to a change in people? You can't always say what kind of impact it'll have in the long term, or what sort of ripple effect it'll have. All deaths sorta seem the same to me in that sense.

[ It's not an objection or a dismissal, but a simple comment. He looks to Komaeda as he says it, though, ice cream cone hiding his face. He seems curious enough. ]

And who was that?

Yes, but not every death is for something as pure as hope.

( simple as that, he has some reservations or perhaps they're hard feelings when the question is asked. perhaps that's from his own perspective, the one where the death he witnessed had turned him into what he is now, a disgrace, a sickness who walks around doing this and that, his moral code lost even more, and the weight of the world — his home tarnished by his hands. )

Only hope can make it better for the future, to kill and bring despair... is one thing, but there's only so much of that people can overcome before they drown in it, and are lost forever.

( he was close to taking back his hand, ignoring the rest if the conversation, but he can't take offense to something so small. people don't understand hope, and because of that komaeda has to help them — there's only certain types of killings that he would say was beneficial to it, and others... )

If you asked me which murders were an aspect of hope... Ebalon-kun, Amami-kun... Hm...

( he's trying to think if there were any others, but there's a difference when it comes to them, and so the idea that they're all the same hardly puts komaeda at ease. instead, he keeps a smile on his face, almost recoiling from it as he continues walking himself. at the question of who he wanted to kill, he pauses, not even looking at rio, but keeping his head faced forward. )

No one. ( ... ) No one...

... I see. No one, then.

[ The answer is simple and quiet, but it's not unkind. It's a simple acknowledgement of what he'd said, and beneath that a promise not to try to pry what seemed to be an old injury open forward.

He struggles with what to say in the face of such blatant offense. It was in the words, but it was more than that. There were always little tics that people couldn't hide that signified what they were thinking, what they were wanting, just tiny little shifts and twitches and movements - those were what he learned best, because he looked for those more closely than anything. It was no different than reading his expressions, and so he can see that his opinion is entirely unwanted here.

But at that point, what can he say? What is there when anything he can offer will just seal the deal here, and push away? So he follows along, opening and closing his mouth as he comes up with an answer and then discarding it. ]

... I'm still listening.

[ Even that statement sounds stupid upon hitting his own ears, but silence feels too easily misunderstood. But what else is there that he can do but listen and acknowledgement, and then try to find a way to translate it in such a way as to make it match his own experience? Rio's choice card remains in place as he middles over these questions. ]

...

( sometimes when he speaks, it's like a breath of fresh air, he remembers to breathe again, and he wonders if he showed too much. it's just the talk of both hope and despair that drives him mostly, why he can't stand one, but adores the other, and hearing that rio's listening makes komaeda look to the side, and he attempts to think of what can he say in this moment. it's not like he said anything offensive, he sees things in a certain worldview separate from humans in a sense, so each and every death would seem the same, and there's an outcome, but it's not that simple. he can't fault him for that. )

Sorry, sorry... Hm... That was unfair of me.

( luckily they're in the void so it's only them that can see, and in the world where their actual bodies are — they're still stuck in that same spot at the very moment, until they return to them properly. perhaps by then komaeda will be killed by now, it's so unfortunate to feel so... he exhales, finds himself stopping where he stands because he's finally realizes that rio isn't walking at the same pace as him like they started. )

Conversations like that causes me to have such a strong opinion, it's fine to look at me differently!

[ It takes him a moment even after stopping to notice he'd started lagging behind, uneven footsteps causing him to fall a step behind and take two to compensate, and he notices it when he sees how far his arm has stretched out. He doesn't want to let go, now more than ever, because that felt like a rejection by itself. He tightens his grip instead, even though Komaeda won't feel it, and he only shakes his head in response to the apology. Had it hurt? He doesn't think so. ]

It's nothing like that.

[ Maybe he would have dismissed it early on, but even at that time some part of him had been curious. Hm, how to put it... ]

I don't mind hearing your thoughts, but... Hmm, I think you're more intuitive than I am, so it's harder for me to understand.

[ It wasn't much different than his luck - Komaeda was emotional and could go solely off of those feelings, and Rio cannot. He would could question and watch - what were the effects of a death over the years? How much changed? What did? It was only after that he could come to a satisfactory conclusion, and even then the metrics tended to be success and failure.

He tries to overlap those two different approaches, and he does have some success if he looks at it in terms of meeting a specific goal in the short time. Rio could almost see it needing to cause motivation, but then... It seems that the deaths in the Majority Game would be considered hopeless. It's difficult to translate. None of which was to say that he'd chalk it up to that and leave it, just that it made it more difficult for him to get a good grasp on. ]

Hm? Then I'll take back my apology.

( don't have to tell him twice, he's only joking as he says so while holding onto rio without knowing how the other's grip tightens around his arm. what would he do if he had known how the other holds onto him tighter, making sure that he remains there? as long as rio holds onto the arm that represents hope, then he'll never truly know, and maybe that's a good thing — having blind faith in hope, being able to hold onto it no matter what, and then having courage to attempt understanding something that he doesn't makes komaeda laugh. )

Is that so? ...Hm, you're opinionated, so even if I say something, do you find it important enough to remember?

( rather, he shakes his head, that isn't what he should say, and instead he clears his throat to find his footing in his words. even though rio doesn't understand properly, it seems he tries by taking in what's said, and processing it in what he already knows — that's the type of person he is. )

You're a very brave person, Riokun, to go that far to listen to ramblings you just don't understand. ( as they wander into another room, komaeda looks for a desk to sit in, and the legs barely seem like it'll hold his weight. as he sits down, it wobbles just a little bit, but he still hasn't let go of rio's hand, or rather, it'd be rio that would have to let him go. ) It makes every word that leaves from my mouth worth it.

[ There is a common theme in those fields in which seek to understand people or things: If we can understand it, we can control it. People are like that. You can't influence them without first understanding them. Rio doesn't necessarily want to control Komaeda's thoughts, but all matters follow the same logic - if you can't comprehend and emphasize with what a person is saying, how can you judge it, much less respond to it? And so on and so forth.

So no matter what, he will go through the frustrating motions of trying to understand things for the sake of that. He can't forget either, but he does find that question space all the same. It's all by design by default, with no particular emotion or willpower behind it - the only real decision was when the effort was discarded. But even so, he's put far more effort here in here than for the majority? Could that be called bravery? Hmmm... ]

Hmmm... You think so? I think it's sensible. I can remember everything, so it's just a matter of data. It gets easier to cross reference and start to piece things together after awhile. So, it's a net win.

[ He says this as he looks down on Komaeda in the rickety chair, taking a moment to glance around his room before turning back. It could almost be a stock answer, but it seems to be good own way of agreeing that this is a puzzle he's working out.

Hmm... Maybe he should repeat it with less clinical wording: ]

It's more like... It's the only way to properly understand someone... So I don't mind hearing your thoughts. If I don't get them right away, I figure they'll make more sense once time.

[ If not, then he can just listen and watch and question more. ]

( he understood it the first time, but he's not going to say anything if the other is willing to correct in a more humanely wording, and he nods over and over — that's how it works for him, so there's no hard feelings. people's surroundings help influence the way they think and act, and he knows rio needs more than just one conversation. he's in need of several tries, over and over until he can come to his own proper conclusion. for now, he watches with wide eyes, as if he's listening, and has nothing to say that would refute rio's words.

with a few slow blinks, he leans back, the chair slightly cracking underneath is weight. )

You could choose not to listen, and not understand things that aren't integrated in your system. Yet, here you are, doing the opposite, I do hope that proves fruitful to you.

( just the innocent ramblings of someone who loves hope, but he guesses the second version of what rio said is much better, makes it feel from the heart, then the data that he so thrives on. at this rate, he looks at the held hands, and his thumb taps rio's hand to see if he'd be willing to let go — he's just checking something, but his other hand lies flat on the surface of the desk. blood smears because the wound hasn't been dealt with within the void, and so he leaves his mark in every area without realizing it, but it burns after the fact. )

When we first met, your thoughts were different. ( but that was just the aspect of hope, but to be properly understood, he thinks about it as he looks up at the other, and then he glances to the side. ) That's all.

[ Rio doesn't immediately loosen his grip, but the way that he looks down and the way that his eyes linger is enough to make it clear that he notices it. He holds the ice cream cone up, hiding the ever-blank expression.

It'd be nice if it did, he thinks. He's still not terribly attached to those concepts. No matter how many times he thinks about it, a death will always be a death. No matter how much meaning he attaches to it, a death will always just be the end of a life, just as a life will always be the continued existence of a human. But in the end, the reason for conversation and understanding with this person isn't to change the viewpoint of either of them, for neither is up to a fool's errand.

His thumb moves, stroking the back of that unfeeling prosthetic hand. It's better that he can't feel it. It's better that he's wearing a glove, which acts as an ever preset barrier between the two of them. ]

Hmm... Yeah...

[ He had been curious then, but it was a willingness to passively accept the new information for the sake of it, while dismissing it, rather than any active desire to intake. ]

At some point I started thinking that maybe... [ We could-- ] ... I could understand you a little.

[ It's a simple, human answer. He'd been listening and trying sine that moment. ]

Edited 2021-12-12 07:09 (UTC)

Ahaha... understand something like me? My beliefs are kind of hard to make sense of.

( he knows that because not too many people understand it, but it's not that he's willing to toss the idea in the trash if that's what rio wants to do. it's development, it's him organizing his own thoughts and opinions together to form a base of his own way of getting komaeda. he doesn't find himself as "gettable," he guesses, because of how high maintenance he happens to be despite not being a doll, or an ai. he's a simple human with a mindset that overlaps, crushes, and drives forward all over beliefs to make his own important — he doesn't realize he does that though, and that's a given since he doesn't pay much attention to others.

komaeda only listens to those that he's interested in. right now, he listens to rio, and he uses his organic hand to cup his own chin in thought as he dwells over his words. )

But that's progress...

( but he doesn't hate it, he thinks as he looks up to rio with a smile, and that white strand of hair tries to block his view on one side. he doesn't let it as he tilts his head to the side a bit, trying to knock it out the way as he places his organic hand down on his lap, and laughs softly. )

Ah, if I start to bore you, I'm sure you could find someone even more entertaining...

[ Rio raises his hand up, as though to ask how his belief system being difficult to understand made him different from anyone else in this world. For an AI created by scientific minds, such concepts such as gods and magic were outright rejected - it was only with careful effort that he can begun to translate it into his own terms. Even without that, he could only understand kinder beliefs based on technical knowledge - kindness and love were purely chemical and instinctive reactions, without even a hint of romance behind them.

He could understand them logically, but never emotionally - because who had ever loved him? Who had treated him kindly? Why should he care about death and would-be evils when it was all just perception? It was all a safey measure, a protective barrier that humans called a norm, but one that never even existed to be shattered for him.

It's easier to understand somebody like this in the end, if only a little, because those views are equally broken and can be matched and paired up with the broken belief systems he knows so well. A system where all lives are expendable, the end justifies the means, and light can never truly reach. It had just so much easier to care about somebody who didn't care about others, who he could understand in that way, but now... Ah, he'd asked him to let go, hadn't he? ]

I wouldn't call anyone here entertaining.

[ He doesn't let go, but he does nod to his hand. Rio has loosened his vice grip enough that Komaeda can take his hand back if he chooses without dragging him along with it. ]

Safalin and I understood each other better than anyone, and she was a real freak. I doubt anyone else could understand, especially here... Makes me shudder to think of what she'd wanna do to a guy like you. I'd probably have to shove her down the stairs to get the message across.

[ But even now, there's a hint of affection to that insult. It wasn't a far cry from what he has with the person in front of him now - just exchanging looks was enough to communicate everything. They compensated for the other's flaws and stopped problems before they could arise. All of that, when she was the opposite of him in so many ways - when there wasn't a single person that could understand either of them. ]

If I try, I can understand you too. It's not that hard.

[ Just time consuming. He's getting there. ]

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