yogen | npc contact.2

How do you know?

( how can he be sure? there's no real proof this place's just gonna let them go — unless he's got some. )

... I do. And I don't. Unlike most people, I've got nothing waiting for me back home. ( except for her friends, sure, but... she doubts they need her that much. for the most part, she's just a mess and a burden, she thinks. )

[ It's not really something Subaru can promise on the behalf of other people, though they know the others would probably agree with what he's saying, because they're kind people who care about them for whatever reason. In return... They always always always do their best, is what they thought of themselves. But there's no "best" in standing still and not being able to do anything.

...

...

... ]

Exposure therapy is supposed to be fast, right...?

[ The concept is terrifying but ??? speedrun to not being scared, maybe it'll be worth it ]

[ maybe ]

It has those too. In many ways, it's still just a school.

[ Sometimes the school has a bullying problem, where bullying is murder. Or exams are graded on a curve, and you have to take out the competition to ensure you're in the top ten perfect. Sometimes there's a void in the auditorium. That's maybe normal too, maybe. ]

Are we done here?

[ STOP BITING CHAIRS AND MAYBE HE WON'T JUDGE

Anyways... This is a reaction that gets another laugh out of the counselor, because words are just as good as corn nuts in throwing people off, but a lot more fun. ]

Now, what opinion did you have of me to be surprised by it? Earnestness is a charm point of mine.

[ Look at him, exuding earnestness all the time ]

Yup! And I've got plenty of experience with it, too~☆ I helped my best friend Ukki~ get over his fear of balls by hitting runs at him until he got used to them!

[used to dodging them. the twins were better help with their ground balls, but he needs to inspire confidence.]

You wanna go to the janitor's closet? We can use a flashlight or my matches for a quick relief if things get suffocating.

[... if only he brought his quartz...]

I— oh.

[ They were about to say apple cider as a compromise, but never mind then. Plain 100% apple juice in a box and one of those bendy straws taped to the back. ]

Spicy, I guess, if I have to choose one. Spicy hurts, but sweet isn't something you can eat a lot of.

[ oh. 2am Ori just has murder on their mind ig nevermind

also noah's clothes has a hood to hide in, that's always fun ]

I'll be in the library still... Where are you going to work? You should just sit with me.

My half hour's not up, so nope. ☆

[he said half an hour and he intends it. unfortunately annoying in this way.

...]

Why'd you let someone who isn't even a student here set up shop?

[ RIP Ukki, they don't even know him and they cringe a little on his behalf ]

I don't know... If you're there with me, I'll feel safe. But exposure therapy is supposed to make you scream and cry and be terrified out of your mind. That's how it works.

[ or something ]

[ I mean... yeah... other people's love is nice, but too much from too many and they start to feel uneasy at the idea. ]

Direct their love... to my wares. So they can buy things.

[ anyways my brain just stopped I'm tapping out good night ]

Well, he did yell a lot, but it wasn't that bad...

[he didn't cry or anything... maybe didn't have ball-related nightmares...]

I've decided I like seeing you scared the least out of all your faces I've seen though, so our exposure stuff's not gonna be like that. Sorta sounds like that'll have the opposite effect of what we want...

[hmmmmmm oh]

I got it! Keigo, you wanna know the best thing you can do when you're in a dark place for this?

( every day you test komaeda's masochism, every day!! )

...If you keep it our secret, I'll sing for you.

( he is the holder of megumi ogata's voice, and he doesn't mind serenading just this one time. the sky has already gave its curtain call, and they're on the roof, and he guesses if rokkun won't come with him to his locker...

he'll continue growing in his own way, and komaeda's actually happy with that decision. sighs, his hope. )

We don't have to, though. We could do this on New Years.

( how yama saw this and was like what 2am ori when chiaki tried to murder hinata. i'm cryinggg.

imagine if noah was in the library when they went. )

In the crawlspace.

( ... )

...Do you want to go in the library with me?

( he has to take nene's clothes back though, because there's no silence in the library anymore... he can hear people talk, and they'll mention the clothes... )

[ Well... there are different types of being earnest, and telling people what they want to hear isn't necessarily always it either. Either way, Shiraishi has no intention of giving out how he took that, mostly because... he's found something that sounds even more fun for the moment.

That idle smile reappears and he flops into a seat at last -- it's just the chair closest to the corn nuts, sorry, because he picks a few more from the bowl. ...And actually, is the cat still on the seat across the desk? He wants to sit at the desk with the cat, thank you. ]

I wonder. What kind of things did I look like I was thinking?

[ It's the counselor's turn. ]

( it's okay, get some sleep and komaeda will just hug npckun until you come back.

hugs in silence... )

I suppose that's one way to live.

[even if it doesn't seem like much of one to her. moment by moment...is that enough to be sustained on?]

But if enough people are stopping by, seeking you out...it means they want to see you specifically. Even though I came here because there was too much on my mind, I meant what I said. I'm happy that I managed to catch you here. And that you're kind enough to not shoo me away.

( listen... she knows. she knows. she's gonna need to clean up soon. but more importantly is hanako's hands taking hers, and she still can't quite look him in the eye- not without forcing herself to. she'd thought chiaki had meant within the confines of the school, the boundary it must be, alone, not- not... )

... I had been talking to someone- ( because nene's tulpa is important to me and i don't want him to nearly die AGAIN ) -and... how we got here came up. ... Hanako-kun, we- all of the "transfer studnets" are dead. I'm dead.

( they failed. )

[ Five minutes is "like, half an hour" and it's not like she's honor bound to talk the full time. ]

Do you have complaints? If not, don't question it.

That can't be true... If you want to go back, even just a little bit, there must be something there that's worth it.

[ It can be something small. Like............... a video game that's not going to be out until 2002 ]

[ The best thing to do in a dark place you're scared of is to squeeze your eyes shut and clamp your hands over your ears and wait until it's light again, but somehow they doubt this is what Subaru is getting at. ]

What is it?

[ 2am ori also tossed Rika down the stairs, we're onto something here ]

You can't work in the crawlspace. It's dark inside.

[ Dark, cramped, hard to breathe and hard to move, basically everything they hate, so, ]

So let's go to the library together.

[ oh nooo I hate that he has such a nice voice, my heart every time he sings the sad sakura song ]

I can't promise to keep it a secret on New Years. Besides, I wouldn't pass up the chance to have you(r singing) all to myself.

( ever think about i never met 2am ori... think i'd give that ori a run for their money. )

It is... my heart races all the time when I'm there.

( ever think about komaeda has claustrophobia, but he pushes through when it's something he's committed to. it's okay npckun, you can do it too. )

...

( thinking, smile smile. )

Okay! I thought you'd never ask!

( he likes it there since his luck doesn't act up badly, but... he does miss the constant silence. ) I can meet you after I put Yashiro-san's clothes back?

[well--]

You close your eyes and then you know it's dark for a good reason!

[so like, half, don't be disappointed]

It'll help your eyes adjust too, like when I took you to see the stars. [...] For me, the scary part is not being able to see anything or anyone when I open my eyes. If I have my eyes closed, then I know I'm not supposed to be able to see anything. That helps it, in a way.

[it makes him feel less alone, if he chooses to know he can't see anything versus being forced to recognize that he can't. it's why blindfolds make him nervous, why he hates that natsume's taking sight away from himself.]

It might be different if why you don't like it is different, though, so we'll try things until you're good with one.

Nope, I've got nothing but praise! Boss is super friendly, super cute, and I'm always looking forward to seeing them! But...

[his grin falls a bit, and leans against the chairs they've stacked.]

But I'm worried. Something happened recently, [as she is sure to know i am so sorry stuco prez you never asked for this literally you did not,] and it made me realize that they might not have the same chances we do 'cause I dunno if it's just for students or for anyone in the school.

[to come back. to repeat. anything like that.]

So I wanted to know why, and if they'll be okay here.

npc contact.2

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