yogen | npc contact.2

( he's watching the sunset... because that's why they're here, but while they're here... )

...Why don't you ever do it? People would like you, probably admire your efforts, thank you, and be grateful for your existence even more.

( he doesn't even look at him, but rokkun should understand... his inner rage that he has. )

What? Cry?

[ That's going to have the opposite effect, actually, he looks at Komaeda like he's crazy ]

...I give you opportunities to kill me, to take your anger out on me, and you always... do this.

( avoid it, change the subject, things like that. )

The sun is nice... what do you think, red would be a nice shade along with it.

I don't need opportunities to kill you.

[ Said in a way that implies he can kill Komaeda at any time of his choosing, or whatever

Komaeda watching the sunset, Rokkun watching him... ]

Also don't look directly at the sun.

Ahaha... How bold, you know I'd make it difficult for you.

( he accepts rokkun's word of advice, and he closes his eyes for the world around him to go completely dark, the sun's shape left behind his eyelids which is still burned into them. it's a subtle color of orange, and little miniature dots that are the make-up of the sun's outline, and then he opens his eyes again... and his eyes... are on the sun again, until he glances to the side to look at the ground. )

...What should I look at then, we're supposed to watch it together? I knew we should have waited for the stars.

[ Komaeda doesn't need a totem to go blind, he can do it himself. Rokkun, on his part, looks out across the campus until it disappears into the forest, shadows softening until it blankets the entire world below them. ]

We can do both.

[ He says, and then frowns a little, like it just now occurred to him that he has to walk through that forest in the dead of night in order to get home. ]

...This is called the "golden hour" in photography. The best time for taking pictures. [ looks over at Komaeda, looks back at the slope of the trees ] Not that either of us have cameras, anyways. I'll remember for the both of us.

Hm? No we don't.

( have to look at the sunset, can watch the stars — they can have one, it's just as beautiful here now as it will be later, but something about watching anything with rokkun is... an experience he thinks too much of as good luck. looking at him warrants that komaeda-arata catches that small frown, and he smiles sheepishly as he looks at him, that expression can be ingrained into his memory when he closes his eyes. )

Also called the "magic hour", which would be just as fitting... Ah! I do have one, ( not on him, but he does... he does. it's just the additional statement that makes him keep his eyes on rokkun and in slight disbelief he's accounting for komaeda-arata to forget later down the line...

...

he will, it'll all slip from his memory sooner or later. )

You make a valid point, Rokkun... ( he will lean up against the other, but not so much considering he's a cripple, but he wants to rest his head on rokkun's shoulder. ) I have a camera with lots of pictures of here, but... where were you?

( i had the most gay thing to say but then i always wondered why komaeda-arata didn't have rokkun pics so i scrapped it. )

[ I feel like asking what you were going to say would be like opening Pandora's Box

But, where was Rokkun, huh? He lets his weight rest against Komaeda so they're propping each other up, staring out into the distance where the pinks and oranges meld into dusty purples and blues, thinking back on all the years he's had.

"Partners in crime" is how he had described their relationship, but that's no longer the case, not if Komaeda keeps forgetting. But even back then... he has to wonder if they were ever friends, when he's never felt so close as he does in this moment. When it's so hard to give himself to somebody who would wake up any day and look at him as if he were a stranger.

But this is his last year. It's the only year that matters, and so... He can have this much. ]

I was right beside you. But with both of us facing forward... you probably never saw me. [ to take pictures, or something ]

( don't worry it can still be said... it's fine it's fine... )

...

( when it's said like that, he can't say that rokkun is wrong — komaeda-arata sees select things and certain people, and he if wqs faced forward, then rokkun could only be seen out his peripheral. )

Who knows... maybe I wanted to be the only person to see you, and that's why you never appeared in any of them.

( ...

that's not the case.

they're all with the white cat, and while komaeda-arata is not opposed to it, he feels like... those nights when he stayed up looking through each picture for a clue, or for what people he knew... why did he never spot rokkun at all? he chuckles softly as a hand rests across his stomach, the colors mesh together nicely before his eyes. )

Hm... when you return home, will you watch the sunset on the first day of your return, and even after? Describe it out loud, ( he closes his eyes, relaxing where he's sitting. ) that makes things easier to remember... even if you forget me when you leave, I hope you at least feel drawn to the sunset...

The sunset, huh...

[ Truthfully, it's not something he's ever paid much attention to. He never really took the time to sit and stare at the sky like this— he was always busy, on the move, having something he needs to do and so this whole... this waiting game, the patience required, it makes him antsy. Staring at the sky even more so, warm colors spread across the sky like a painting. Time crawls to a stop, and he needs the opposite to happen. ]

I wonder. When I get back, I'm going to take my baby brother, and I'm going to run away from home. If we can get somewhere safe... we'll watch the sunset together, and I'll think of you. Of today. I'm not going to forget.

( to go back home, to take his younger sibling and run away, komaeda's mouth parts for a moment until he smiles — that does sound like something he would do, want to do, but is it possible if his sibling is already here? who will he be returning home to? what's there left waiting for him when he wakes up. the vast sea of colors before them, the way the sun hides behind the scenery as it inches away slowly, and komaeda wonders if this is how he wants to be reminded.

no, it's more so that... maybe there's some good left in the appearance of a sunset that turns to darkness, that he can find hope in living to the next day to see the sunset again, and again... )

Is hope your family?

( he asks, curious enough that if this is also part of everything then maybe it won't feel wrong to do what he can, stick his nose into affairs that have nothing to do with him... sometimes it feels like they do, but maybe it's that feeling deep inside that makes him want to be part of something... he doesn't know, it's hard to work out, but he has always been helpful towards this one thing in particular. )

But before you answer that... you said we made a promise a long time ago... has it been met?

[ If hope is defined as something that keeps you going... then maybe it would be family. For as much as he talks about graduation, it's only a means to a cause, and the end goal was always to go back to how things were before everything went to shit. He would test into a good high school, get into a good college, raise a kid, he could do it, he knows he's more than capable, because you always try that much harder when it's for somebody other than yourself.

Even if he didn't know their name or face... "It doesn't matter," he had said. You can still love somebody you don't remember. He looks over at Komaeda, looks back out to the horizon, and is sure of this. ]

...Not yet. It was a stupid promise I made you agree to, and I don't think you would promise me again, as you are now. It's fine now, though... We can forget about it, if you want, like we never made it in the first place.

( "raise a kid" thinks about how he was such a good father to the rat, and tears up at work... i want older rokkun to have the best family. anyway, hope is almost like stuff of one's imagination, it seems unreachable but as long as they have hope... it can be obtained, using every hurdle that comes before him as a means of not letting it stop him... hope pushes, spite drives, something of that effect.

rokkun talks so much about family, and komaeda doesn't understand it because everyone is dead to him. he doesn't care for his real family, and he finds something in what abstract of a family he has now... he probably can't call it family, because he doesn't know what he has. )

You're an idiot... ( sighs wistfully ) I never understood how you can be so reluctant... are you scared of me? ( besides, komaeda's memory isn't the best, and maybe if he had someone to remember for him... all the good times, bad times, someone to remind him so he could make maybe the same expression the first time when he remembers it... but people must like his faults, work off it. )

It's just us, and it'll stay that way... ( made him? what promise is it that komaeda can't do now, marry him when he gets older?? what's going on in his head. ) ...I don't want to forget about it, you know my memory, if it's about you... I want to remember.

[ "how he was such a good father to the rat" like he didn't abandon it to Amami the first opportunity he got, sometimes you take after your father and don't even realize it ]

It's not that I'm scared, [ said even though he may be wary, but it isn't him being scared, technically, ] but it's also not remembering if I'm telling you. It's not important anymore, anyways; we've both grown up since then.

( AND? mizuki is SEXY and i am not MAD at him! yes rokkun, pick up toxic traits. )

How can you choose for me...

( stop that, which he'll emphasize by leaning away from rokkun now, using his own arm to prop himself up, so say goodbye to his armrest or whatever komaeda-arata was at the time. )

Who are you to tell me if it's not important? ...So tell me, what can you lose from hoarding our memories away from me. Surely it must have been nice... ( he sighs, looking at him from where he's leaning. ) ...you didn't throw away that memory. ...I don't want to remember it, I want you to tell me... I want to know.

( was going to be like they can keep the same promise, and i'm like maybe that's how komaeda got in this mess an how he was made to promise... rokkun's reverse psychology won't get him. )

[ asdflkjh the counselor is... something... very excited about him but rokkun does not need to be more like him, thank you ]

...We promised to find a way out of this place together. You were good at stirring people up— still are. I worked behind the scenes— still do. You asked me before why I'm here, insisting to be with you... It's because I need that talent of yours.

( thinking how miss kudo has good taste...

honestly? honestly... komaeda's sitting here like when did he ever talk about his talent, and then... he remembers rokkun knows he's sick x2 so it's... )

...You want that?

( his talent? why can't he ask for like komaeda's appendage or something, but he stares at rokkun trying to find some hidden meaning to his words.

...

...

... )

...How are you intending to use a mediocre talent like mine?

( komaeda brain is like rokkun only talks to you for your talent.wav )

[ chiaki the only valid arata... ]

Yeah. For better or for worse, you affect the people around you. I just need you to keep being as you are.

[ He is on the side of not-normal Komaeda ]

...Are you asking to leech off this disgusting talent of mine?

( ...as if rokkun didn't just say he was doing his own thing on the side.

...

...

...

okay, now he's getting up, because his brain is short-circuiting to... rokkun wants him for his talent. )

I didn't think you'd fall so low to be like those people.

I'm not asking.

[ He's taking it, wrapping himself in it every time he's with Komaeda, all the while doing his thing off to the side, watching Komaeda stand but not rising to his feet after him. ]

Are you going to break your promise?

I promised something like that? ...

( maybe he can see where he wouldn't hold up his end of the promise, because the idea of someone using an ultimate's talent is... he can't stand it, the thought makes him sick to his stomach. it's why he dislikes the world now, people... draining an ultimate for their talent because they can't do anything. they're what snuffs out their light, greedy hands hoping to have things work out for them without doing anything at all... the lazy...

... )

What are you doing that warrants my cooperation, you know... if you know me... I hate the idea of an Ultimate's talent being used by someone who doesn't have it.

( ... )

You did promise. You're always saying you want to help, Nagito, but when it comes down to it... it's like this.

[ It's getting dark, the sun having slipped below the horizon while he was too busy looking at Komaeda. With a sigh, he gets up, dusting off the back of his pants. ]

That's why I said to just forget it.

...

( oh shut up, what the hell does rokkun know about what komaeda does to help! it does catch him off guard, and he should have seen it coming... something so... bothersome to him. )

...I do want to help your hope, it means that much to me.

( he looks towards the other for a moment, before his eyes drop down to his shoes. he's hesitant at first, thinking he should drop the conversation, but he speaks up as if the other doesn't know what he's getting into. if he... wasn't just some generic student here, and maybe... one with talent, he could do whatever he wants, but... does he know the consequences. it's this luck that makes him feel as if he shouldn't be around others. )

Do you know my luck is what put you in that predicament, why you're the way you are now?

[ Thanks for saying the way he is now is a predicament. What about him? His attitude? His personality? Why he does the things he does in the way that he does? ]

...I got here through my own decisions, Nagito. I know what I'm doing; I'm not backed up against a wall yet. You taking responsibility for the state of my life is just selfishness.

You misunderstand me.

( he wouldn't say everything about rokkun is why he's the way he is because of his luck, he's only pointing out one specific thing, the only one that made komaeda feel like his world tilted. the moment he thought rokkun was going to die, maybe that was selfish of him to find a way to ensure that the other lived... maybe it was. )

I meant the scar on your neck, the wound on your leg... your life was almost erased because of me. ( he sighs, looking down. ) ...Is this luck something you want to handle? Even after that?

( can he even call this "luck"? in all honesty, it feels like the opposite, but that's the purgatory he's locked in... the ups and downs of his own luck.

taurus' are difficult too, looks up. )

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject