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[sportadork]

WHO: Sportacus + You
WHAT: November Catch-All
WHEN: novems
WHERE: varied
WARNINGS: TBA

Comments

[sportadork]

[immediately wakes up completely. like dead asleep to wide awake in less than a second.]

Hello! [beaming] Did you find anything? I'm not used to having pockets!

[his pda is probably in there and he just thinks it's a weird calculator]

[adsum]

[ The shopkeep startles, but not enough to immediately pull their hand out of Sportacus' pocket. Just a PDA... disappointing. ]

Hello. Where do you keep your wallet if you don't have pockets?

[sportadork]

My what? I don't have a-- [he pauses, visibly confused, practically audible gears working in his brain...

he laughs, clearly delighted.]

Are you robbing me?

[adsum]

[ Sometimes people laugh and you get a little scared and you back up a little, this is what the shopkeep does ]

I'm trying to, but you don't have a wallet! What are you going to give me instead?

[ No fancy watch or expensive rings... They look down at his shoes. Maybe. ]

[sportadork]

[gives them a thoughtful look. when he speaks again, it's in a much more measured tone.]

Well, if I had a wallet, and you took it, what would you use it for? Maybe I can help you with that!

[adsum]

[ Truthfully... they'd take the money and sell the wallet, but people always ask this in a way that begs the question of what they want the money for and...

... ]

...college fund...

[sportadork]

Really? [he moves into a cross-legged position, resting his head on his hands, all wide-eyed fascination.] That's very pragmatic for someone your age! What will you study?

[adsum]

[ ... ]

Woodworking! I want to grow up to be like Alexander Grabovetskiy!

[sportadork]

Fantastic! It is always good to follow your dreams!

Of course, woodworking is usually learned through apprenticeship, or a technical school, and not a college. So, you'll need to work on a different lie to use now. It was a very good one to start, though!

[adsum]

You said "usually"! Which means not always, which means I'm right!

[ gonna find themselves a woodworking college they'll never attend, just to prove this guy wrong ]

[sportadork]

Anything can happen! Which makes it slightly less important than the part you're ignoring.

[cocks head to side] I have always found that children that lie and steal have very good reasons for doing it. Are those reasons you don't like sharing?

[adsum]

[ hhhhhhhh
It's always easier when people play along, and they're not used to people calling them out on things and not being angry about it, makes it difficult to know how to best handle things ]

My point's important too! You're the one ignoring it. Admit that I'm right.

[sportadork]

Your point is very important! And I am sure that you will spend time finding something that will prove you right. Which will be very good, because it will be time you won't spend stealing.

[grins] See? Everybody can win.

[adsum]

[ Joke's on him; they're good at finding things that will prove them right while stealing.

There's nothing good on this guy, though, so they go ahead and sink to the ground in front of him, crossing their legs and leaning slightly forward to stare at him for a moment.

...

... ]

Are you the janitor?

[sportadork]

No.

[stares back.

this game sounds fun.]

Are you a student?

[adsum]

No. A teacher?

[sportadork]

Nope.

[hm...]

If you're the janitor, I am going to have to have a very serious talk with whoever runs this school. Child labor is wrong.

[adsum]

I'm old enough to work.

[ Quickly, before Sportacus gets the wrong idea, or calls the authorities about child labor and gets them fired ]

[sportadork]

Really? And how old is that?

[adsum]

[ ......... ]

18.

[sportadork]

Final answer?

[adsum]

You can't prove otherwise.

[sportadork]

That is true! Unless I could see your teeth, of course; then it would be very easy. [which is absolutely a totally normal thing to know] But, if 18 is the age you'd like to be, then it will be your age!

[adsum]

You can tell by looking at teeth?! Do me, do me!! Aaaaaaa-

[ They going to open up wide for him. No cavities. Wisdom teeth haven't come in yet. ]

[sportadork]

[peers in]

You have very good dental hygiene! [+100 points, definitely getting them out of the hole that stealing put them in.] And...

[leans back against the wall, grinning.]

I know exactly how old you are!