yogen | npc contact.3

[ Wait, no, they were talking about murders— he wants to go back to talking about murders. Sit down and let's talk... ]

She didn't like me at first. Can you imagine? She tolerates me now, but she does get along better with the students. I think she pities them.

Cats have a unique way of thinking, I like all animals, but the ones that stand out here are the two felines...

( aw, not the cat human lore he's getting, and he thinks on it, he didn't think it was possible for her to dislike anyone — she's friendly, unlike the black one. )

When you say it like that, it's as if the black cat likes you better. ( dito mentioned it once, and then there's rokkun's claim about the counselor liking the cats more than his own children. ) Or maybe that one does...

( with that said, he hums thoughtfully. )

That's also saying... she didn't pity you, then for a moment, she started to. Do you think you should pitied?

[ There's a lot about all of that that makes him laugh, and he does so, leaning back on the desk and regarding Komaeda in full. ]

Pity is for the unfortunate, and there is nothing about my position that calls for it. That said, the black cat barely tolerates me as well. I'm no good with living things, you see?

Then it's a good thing we're dead, isn't it!

( "no good with living things," where has he heard that before? )

I don't think that's true, Arata-san... I think you're the best company for that cat. ( he laughs, nodding to himself. ) Why don't you tell me about you and the black one?

There isn't much to say. I'm sure you've seen how he is: the kiddo walks around like he owns the place, wishing everybody else would scram.

[ Basically, the cat acts like a cat. The counselor might as well be wallpaper. ]

Do you like cats?

...Hm, I like a lot, Arata-san!

( he nods, lifting a hand to point at himself. )

So they can be under the umbrella of my life, but this isn't about me! This is about us, and our affection towards the cats. Did you give either two a name?

( he looks around trying to see if he can find a a few books to use, what sort of books does he have in here. ) Lily May and Bev, that's how I respond to them.

[ He has books on counseling, ig, relationship books, self help books, things of that nature except a lot of them are outdated and it's all neat enough to suggest the counselor doesn't go through them very much anymore.

There's also a little section with crime fiction and erotic romance. Don't. ]

Affection... I suppose so. It's not their names, but I call them Koko and Mimi in company. Of course, neither respond to them.

( crime fiction, he'll take that so he can lean up against the wall and flip through the pages one at a time. )

They don't, isn't that strange? But the names are adorable... do they mean anything to you?

( as in is their names short for anything or maybe that's the names he wanted to name his kids, but they were boys or something. )

They are both different readings of the character for "heart".

[ Just cute names for the cute cats, nothing more. On the other hand, I've decided these will be the readings for his kids' names:
Rokuro 禄朗 divine grace, cheerfulness
Chiaki 智明 smart, bright
Keigo 恵剛 blessed, strong
Rokkun failed hard, but two out of three living up to their names isn't bad ]

Did you want to take that with you? I won't claim any body parts as compensation for the late fee.

Do you believe two hearts can beat as one?

( considering their names.

rokkun's only failing because he's insane, in his next life, maybe he'll be divine grace and cheerful. sighs... but the other kids... i am so proud of them. )

When Saihara-kun... deduced me as the killer, he claimed a book was me and him... he was afraid I'd hate him for telling the group.

( he shrugs, that's in the past, and that is just a faint memory of a stepping stone. ) But... I've always liked these books, can I really borrow it?

[ Sometimes I think about if Rokkun had actual parental guidance growing up he might have become happy and successful but that can't happen bc his icons range from sulky to vaguely confused. ]

If the timing is right.

[ Yes they can, and not just metaphorically either. Heart rate is readily controllable. Anyways, he waves a hand in permission for Komaeda to take the book, no broken bones for stealing today. ]

Why would you hate him for uncovering the truth?

( when rokkun dies and comes back with a new body appearance where he's happy and no one can recognize him. )

It's nice... almost like dying together with the person you love.

( he'll take the book, holding it to his chest like he's grateful for the new piece. if he flips through it afterwards, is there anything useful, or is it a normal crime fiction book? got to check just in case. )

I could never hate him for it, I fell in love with him, and I still love him. I guess he didn't want to lose me, but I'm already far gone, ahaha!

( there's nothing to gain from him anyway, but that's neither here nor there. ) I can't think about that, though, I have Ultimates here to nurture at this moment...

[ Rokkun returns as Hikaru with a bright shining smile... this is funny only to me, considering Hikaru's backstory. ]

It's a pity he was killed. He would have been a better match for you.

[ But anyways, ]

How are they doing, your Ultimates? How do you think they will fare in the coming months?

( HELP NOT HIM IN A NEW BODY STOPPPPP its ok rokkun we gunna fix you when you come back with no memories.

hikaru's old thug life...

he blinks at the comment, and one hand wraps around himself as he thinks about it. a better match...? if only, someone like komaeda could never be a good match for an ultimate. he can't linger on it, those days are bygone, and komaeda doesn't have much from that time. )

...Ishimaru-kun is afraid of me. Amami-kun is getting by...

( ... )

...They've dwindled, Arata-san.

[ To have somebody you care deeply about be afraid of you, to have another one doing well enough for himself that he doesn't need you... That sort of sentiment is something the counselor can relate to, but in no way should Komaeda follow by his example. ]

That's right, isn't it? Makoto, Kyouko, Chihiro, Nanami, Kaeda, Kokichi, Shuichi, Gundham... You have touched each of their lives in some way, have you not?

...Could I have made an impression on their lives.

( he asks himself this, trying to find an answer before the counselor exposes it for him. well, he's left a mark, they know of his existence, and maybe that's for the best? he wants to motivate their hope, push past thresholds they'd never imagine. )

What about you, have you touched the ones you love in a positive or negative manner?

Yes, and yes.

[ Komaeda can— and has— made an impression on many people's lives as far as he can see, even those he has never spoken to or interacted with directly. A person also lives on in rumors, by word of mouth, stories and gossip. ]

You know as well as I do that positive and negative are subjective, and that sometimes, they feed towards the same.

[ Sure he was a deadbeat dad, but look at Rokkun now. You're welcome, son, for the tenacity. ]

...Ahaha! Yeah, they flow into each other, that's why people have it difficult understanding their feelings.

( he's not going to call out any names, but there are some students here who just can't figure out how they feel, or if they do, they bet their entire chips into it, and die by it. no changing, no nothing. )

Arata-san, are you happy with your influence?

There is still more work to be done.

[ It's not a yes or no, but... as it stands, it isn't enough to satisfy him. Not yet. Not with that boundless Arata greed. ]

But I'm in no hurry. Influence can only do so much, and I'm much more interested in how far you all go by your own... merits.

...By my own merits. If only we could gain more merit points by just having the will to move forward.

( with a wistful sigh, he walks closer to the counselor, and komaeda sizes him up for a moment. )

So you're content with what you've done, would you change anything?

What good is will without results?

[ Intention is all good and well, but ultimately useless. Actions are what matter, especially when pressed, coerced, manipulated, backed into a corner... That's when it gets fun to watch. ]

I think you overestimate how much I do. As I've said before, my position is that of a mirror, and my actions account for very little.

Hm... Then why are they upset with you?

( if he's a mirror, they don't want their own person to be reflected at them, they want guidance, even at a very going age. he doesn't offer names since the counselor is smart enough to know who this pertains to, and komaeda now makes a quick move to sit on the desk. )

I don't recall my father, but I believe I grew up better without him...

Not everybody likes what they see when they look in a mirror.

[ He sets the bowl of macadamia nuts between himself and Komaeda. Feel free to have one. ]

Of course, you do not miss what you never had. Whether or not you long for that missing something is another concern altogether.

...Hm. ( he looks down to the bowl, but his eyes drift up to look at the counselor next — they don't like what they see in the mirror? )

When did you become a mirror, Arata-san?

( when he no longer felt like he could take care of children, because komaeda's not in the same boat, but he finds that he's a pretty decent caretaker. well, he watched over his own set of children.

he'll take a few of the nuts, but then he'll pull out his bag of cat treats...... he has like three left, iirc. maybe lily may would want both. )

[ According to Google it'll make her sick. Won't stop her from wanting them, though. ]

When... That's hard to say, isn't it? When do you become the person you are... You aren't born the person you are, and it isn't so simple as having a single defining moment.

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