12/02 || un: n.sakasaki

[crystallomancy]

Winter. The Worst Season To Ever Exist. It's Cold And Wet And Gross, The Wind Goes Right Through You, And To Top It All Off, You Have To Watch Happy Couples Warm Each Other Up.

Fortunately, I Have Just The Thing To Help What Ails You. Let's Heat Things Up With A Debate, Shall We?

Every Food Can Either Be Categorized As A Soup, A Salad, Or A Sandwich. A Soup Is A Food Whose Liquid Content ("Soupiness") Is Deemed As "High". A Salad Is A Food Whose Liquid Content Is Deemed As Low ("Dressing"). A Sandwich Is Anything That Has What Could Feasibly Be Defined As Bread On Two Or More Sides.

Some Examples:

Pizza Is A Salad. The Liquid Ratio Is Almost None, Even In The Case Of The Greasiest Pizzas. While There Is Something That Can Be Defined As Bread ("The Crust"), It's Only On One Side. However, If You Fold A Pizza In Half, It Becomes A Sandwich.

Bread Bowl Soups Are Sandwiches. This Is Because It Functionally Has Bread On Two Or More Sides.

French Dip Sandwiches Are Soups, Despite Their Misleading Name. Dipping Them Into Au Jus Turns Them Incredibly Soggy, Leading To Their Classification.

Feel Free To Debate And Add Your Own Below. Just Don't Come To Blows Over This, Okay?

Comments

[carpevinum]

Natsume and I are currently embroiled in a lovely discussion about the category of fried foods, thank you.

[commences]

control your tempura please! it's a good thing you're getting along, i was almost worried for you!

[carpevinum]

Let me ask you a question.

Under what category would you slot something like sushi?

[Lucifer has given in to the chaos, clearly.]

[commences]

great question, now i've seen people argue that it's not a sandwich or a salad (no fruits, vegetables, or nuts) and no liquid, which vetos every example there.

which is true, so i'll say well met, this is the equilibrium.

[carpevinum]

It depends on the sushi. I've had sushi that contains mango and orange before. However, I believe sushi should rightfully get its own category in Natsume's example. That does, naturally, open up an entire other section of this debate.

Have you ever eaten fried sushi? I'm assuming you have, in which case, would you classify that as a sandwich?

[commences]

if you're pointing out the breading, it could count as a sandwich, but what do you classify rice as which becomes the make up of said sushi?

[carpevinum]

I suppose that depends. Rice is a grain, and is
a fairly versatile ingredient. For example, rice cakes, and you can also make bread out of rice itself. However, in traditional sushi, you wouldn't exactly see the rice made into anything other than what it is — a collection of small grains.

The definition of bread is rather nebulous here. Are we counting bread as something that contains gluten, something made of wheat, or simply "processed grain"? Because, depending on the response to that question, rice could be bread. @ n.sakasaki if you could please advise...

[crystallomancy]

By Definition, Bread Is "Food Made Of Flour, Water, And Yeast Or Another Leavening Agent, Mixed Together And Baked". However, Flat Breads Are Considered To Be Bread Despite This Definition, So We Can Expand It To Simply Requiring "Some Type Of Flour And Some Kind Of Liquid" Mixed Together, Then Cooked In Some Way.
(This Renders A Pancake A Type Of Bread, For The Curious.)
In Your Example, Rice Is Just Another Ingredient In The Meal, Which Means That Sushi Is A Salad.

[carpevinum]

I appreciate the clarification.

Therefore, rice is not bread, unless it is made into something such as rice bread.

So, Komaeda, to answer your earlier question, it seems that rice being another ingredient in the meal would lead deep fried sushi to being a sandwich.

[commences]

my oh my! that's quite the development we've gotten to.
and if we add the wet ingredients, that keeps it as a sandwich, right?
like salmon!

[carpevinum]

Yes, I do believe you have the right idea, according to the laws set up by this post.

[commences]

lucifer-kun, i am saddened we've found an answer, we need something else to make people think.
like... caviar.

[carpevinum]

Caviar is wet, and due to it being eggs, that means the insides of the caviar are also wet. Caviar is simply shelled soup.

[commences]

can they become a sandwich if the inside remains alive?

[carpevinum]

If you were to wrap something still living in bread, would it become a sandwich? I believe it would. To answer that question, yes.

[commences]

yes, we are walking sandwiches after all...
if you could be any sandwich, what would you be?

[carpevinum]

A difficult question. I would pick something from the Devildom itself... let me see. Perhaps a vampire bat sandwich?

[commences]

vampire bat sandwich... huh, i've never tried. can you make that here?
it'd be a nice soup to share in the cold together with everyone.

[crystallomancy]

The Human Body Contains About 60% Water (Or Other Fluids), Which Is A Fairly Large Number...
AKA
Humans Are Soup.

[crystallomancy]

I Wonder If The Breading On A Fried Food Could Be Enough To Define It As Such, Or If It's Just Enough To Equal Croutons On A Salad.

[carpevinum]

Sushi as a crouton is exactly the sort of chaos I was hoping to hear from this discussion, despite my earlier grievances. My brother would be beside himself with rage.

[Satan if you're out there—]

[crystallomancy]

I'm Happy To Oblige, Lucifer-san, Despite Your Crimes. What Type Of Salad Would You Add Your Sushi Croutons To?

[carpevinum]

My crimes are as numerous as there are stars in the sky, Natsume. We demons get around.

I would pick something from the Devildom, I believe, as I'm more inclined to that type of dish. Mixed belladonna and poison hemlock greens, mayhaps.

[crystallomancy]

Your Recent Crimes No One Wants To Get On Your Ass About Despite Them Taking The Moral High Ground On Certain Other People's*

It Sounds Lovely, If Only It Weren't Capable Of Killing Me. How Wonderful It Must Be To Be A Demon And Nigh Unkillable.

[carpevinum]

Isn't it interesting? Humans are quite funny.

[Plenty of people have been on Lucifer's ass but I took a hiatus in November he hasn't been listening.]

If I ever acquire ingredients from the Devildom, I will ensure they won't be toxic to humans, such as shadow hog — you don't need to worry.