yogen | npc contact.2

( komaeda gasps a little, like, he's shocked, but then he laughs right after... he sees, this lying son of a — )

November, huh... that's next month, do you want to celebrate it?

( he pauses, looking at the other. )

It's because you want to be taken care of, and you hate to lose. You've always been like that... suffering loss, not wanting to see people die... When they die, they're gone, so the attachment of a living being... a living thing is sensitive to you.

[ look, he saw a rock and couldn't help himself ]

Oh, um... [ Celebrate their dead brother's birthday? They're not so sure how fun that would be.

... ]

Shouldn't that be the case for everyone...?

[ Wariness about living things because they could die at any time. Humans especially are very fragile. ]

( a thief. )

Oh, do you not want to? I only asked, I'll find someone else, then.

( the source, maybe. )

...Is it? Personally, everyone dies, and I'm going to die, and that's that, but everyone hates when I talk that way... but for you, it's a constant theme. Some people adore love, some people are greed, but... I like reading into you, because I love you.

( nailed it. )

[ It's not stealing if it was handed to him

But... he really does hit the nail on the head, no matter how obviously npckun craves that sort of affection, it's still one of the very few times somebody's told them that they love them, without having it be demanded in the first place. ]

If you love me... If I die before you do... will you cry for me?

( he literally took it as a birthday present, a thief?

he likes to analyze those near him, or those that'll allow themselves to be read — he uses it to his advantage, and then things tend to work out in his favor. understanding people is important to judge their hope, and if he didn't do that... he'd only assist in crumbling what he longs to see. )

...Will I cry?

( will he cry... even when rokkun almost died, he didn't cry. the second time around, he didn't cry then. he has cried before though, for hope, drowning during despair... there were other moments, but... )

...Will you watch me, if I do? They say angels can watch over you. ( and he laughs after. ) You won't die before me.

[ It was meant for him anyways? Early birthday present. ]

...if I could, I want to. But I'm not going to become an angel, or a butterfly, or anything.

[ They're not going to be anything. And in a place where you die and can open your eyes again, they'll be leaving first. ]

( he took advantage of two first years kindness. )

Why did you...

( why out of all things npckun could say, they chose to end their life like that. there's a reason for everything and why people respond the way they do. )

You want me to be mad for you, you want me to cry for you... ( he stops, looking towards them as he finally let's their body go. )

Where are you going when you die?

[ yes

It feels cold without somebody holding them. Small, and alone. But they let it happen, staring down at nothing. ]

...nowhere. I just... [ ... ] When I'm gone, there's no knowing anymore, no awareness, nothing. So wanting that sort of thing, even if I won't be able to know whether of not it happens... still makes me feel better. Like somebody cared enough to feel for me.

[ It's a selfish reason, why they ask for these things that don't matter. Like any old death, really. ]

( almost wrote growls at him, but i didn't want you reading this like why did komaeda growl at npckun. )

Everyone returns to the tree once they die... or so the story goes.

( he looks at how the other stares at the ground, and komaeda wonders why they seem so forlorn. he takes a step, leaning forward so he can look up at their face. )

I won't cry... because I won't let you die hopelessly...

( as for komaeda, how does he feel? what will he do? he smiles, his attempt to ground them, make them feel safe. the only warm thing about him that hinata's ever commented on that made him feel something. )

And if you're worried, you'll tell me a way to ensure your soul goes somewhere... that's a sort of hope that they can't imagine losing.

[ They might have been comforted, somewhat, if they didn't already know that their death isn't meant to be a hopeless one. It's supposed to be one of achievement, of pride, of acceptance at the finish line— is what they had thought, when they signed themselves away. And they are going to make it to the very end, no matter how lost they feel right now. ]

I don't know... If it were bound to something, maybe. But I can't let that happen until I do what I need to do. I'm not ready to give my soul up yet.

You're hiding something, aren't you?

( komaeda walks back over to npckun, wrapping his arms around them as they take a step forward. out of all the things to talk about — why not cry when they're successful, or why not cry when they get married... those sorts of things that mean there's a future. )

Whatever it may be... it's cruel of you, you shouldn't say yet... don't give up your soul, because it'll stay with me... I'll make sure of it...

( he sighs, pressing his cheek against their head. )

Aside from that... what is it that you need to do?

( but bound... bound... interesting concept. skull keychain? )

[ ...

Everybody is hiding something. Just because theirs is what it is doesn't mean they're inclined to share, even with arms around them, cheek atop of their head, that feeling of safety where they could spill their heart out to Komaeda and he'll spin some hope bullshit to make it all better.

... ]

Make as much money as I can before graduation.

What will you buy? That you're so focused on...

( he keeps himself attached, not so he can wring out secrets, but what's that compared to natural honesty? that's all komaeda has to give, all he knows anyway. )

You must hate me... or maybe there's nothing I can do in regards to it as to why you're so silent... hm...

( yet, he looks down the hall as he stops, causing npckun to stop walking too. )

...I am that much of a disappointment.

[ ...

They look up to meet his eyes. ]

There is nothing you can do. But it's not your fault. And it's not just you.

You won't let me do anything, but you can tell me what you're buying.

( he pauses. )

Just between us.

No.

...You want me to feel hopeless, even though I love you enough to do what must be done.

( a hard no, but not one that's easily accepted. oh no, oh he pulls away now, arms crossed as he looks off to the side thoughtful.

he gets it.

but that doesn't mean he's happy. )

[ He can look away, but as long as they don't let go, it doesn't matter. ]

Don't put words in my mouth. I want you to believe in me and my hope. How am I supposed to grow if I have you as a crutch?

...Hm.

( don't put words in their mouth, and komaeda chooses to do what he pleases. )

I want to help hope no matter the risk, even if it means that I have to...

( he pauses, thoughtful. normally a person's hope is easy to understand, but it has been the unknown with them, so he asks again directly. )

What is your hope?

I hope you'll stop butting in. This is my hope; I'm not sharing.

[ Stop being so greedy!! ]

I want to do this myself... it's important to me that I can do this on my own.

You don't have to share your hope with me, but what it pertains to is a different story. Because that hope is not my hope, but my job is to...

( his hope is something else, well, anyway! )

Is it because you won't know if I'll be mad with your as to why you're buying this specific "hope", what a shame...

( stop! komaeda is greedy, and he's also not! he's doing what he can... )

[ Well, do something else! god, he's such a helicopter parent ]

If I don't tell you, you'll be curious and you'll stick around.

[ That's why people keep secrets, surely, to trick other people into staying. ]

( stopppp!!!!!!! let him, you act as if he wouldn't let npckun go out and do some crazy shit! look at steph, she's out there, he lets her do whatever she wants. )

People get bored.

( like how he gets bored... like how he's now thinking about that as an option, that said they better be at the workshop by now, because komaeda's going to walk in after he lets npckun go, this is where they needed to go, right? )

[ ?? they're a good honest shopkeeper! pure. an angel. the crazy shit has to be subtle

anyways, you ask that as if I remembered that's where they're going and didn't need to click thread from start to learn why they're going to the workshop but apparently they are and they're going to make a birdhouse. ]

Ooh, we're here! Go find me a ruler and a protractor and a pencil! A carpenter pencil— it's the kind that's flat so it doesn't roll away, and the graphite's harder so it won't break on wood.

( not how they're ESCAPING THE CONVERSATION!!! insane, mean of them... they abuse komaeda's concern.

he'll get a ruler but he's depressed about it, like he's frowning as he look through the utensils of what they need... he finds a protractor, and maybe a colored pencil, but he throws that on the floor.

he's looking give him a moment. )

...

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