like a bitter stranger

[samuraiwomen]

Who: Everyone
What: Our monthly family meeting.
When: March 5th, 2000.
Where: Yogen dorms common room.
Warnings: Discussions of murder, suicide, child death...more?



[ A message goes up on the forums late Friday evening.

S.chidouin: Group meeting in the dorms Saturday. 12:00. No punching. No stabbing. I'll bring stickers.

If your character would not find a post from Sara worth listening too, Bonnie is wandering around, vaguely noting how important this meeting is, and how very much you should attend. No further details are forthcoming.

The meeting itself is a quiet affair. The fireplace is not lit, there are no snacks. Sara waits in the corner for everyone to arrive and get settled and then she clears her throat to speak. ]

As most of you know... [ It's hard to start, but her voice gets firmer as she goes on. ] We spent the last two months investigating Maya Arisu's murder. That case is solved. A few weeks ago, Bonnie-chan and I found the culprit.

Rantaro Amami killed Maya Arisu, Hiro Arisu, the vice principal and is presumably responsible for the scene with Keigo Arata. He is also dead. I just figured...everyone should know. To many people got hurt the last few months. I'm sorry.

[ She fiddles with her hair. That's all...she really has to say. There's not much more then that as the gist of it. ]

Comments

[commences]

The problem... that no one is working together, and that they're becoming selfish.

( sighs... )

[waitingforplayer2]

....

[ Well that's a confusing and slightly upsetting answer. She frowns. ]

You think he did all of this... to bring everybody together?

[commences]

Yeah. Because that would be the best outcome, wouldn't it?

( to be together. )

[waitingforplayer2]

But it's without the people he killed. And also, himself.

... Do you remember when we all played games together?

[commences]

Why do you say it like that, Nanami-san? ...Why does that matter when you came back?

( she died, she was killed, but she came back... it's not the proper way of coming back, but she did. she appeared, and also nanami who was on jabberwock with him.

she came back. )

...Bits and pieces.

( he's older now, his memory isn't the best. )

[waitingforplayer2]

[ Did she come back? She's so stunned by that assertion that she doesn't know what to say to it. ]

Wh-why... can't we just do something like that again? To bring everybody together... that'd be better, wouldn't it?

[ But his first words are haunting her. She came back. Did she? ]

[commences]

It wouldn't be enough. For something like this.

( she sounds shaken by his words, but they're here, in a way... they came back. even though he'd rather be dead himself, but here they are. )

...When he comes back, I think that would be nice. No one will hear him out, because they're upset, but if you're willing. I will too.

[waitingforplayer2]

[ She's already gotten the sense that the rules have been changed and she hasn't grasped entirely why. Killing for the sake of bringing people together sounds awful... but death has a different meaning here, one she's still working out.

She nods slowly. ] Mm... of course.

... I'm not mad at him. [ It's the truth. ] Or upset. I... want to know why, but it might not be my business. [ She looks away. ] I just miss them. [ All of them. ]

[commences]

It'll make sense all in time.

( komaeda laughs softly, but he's never been one to look down on his ultimates when they went out of their way to do something. it's better than just sitting around, it's better than what komaeda could do that was just advice. )

If this was the choice that was made, then I'll support him. It'll brew hope... so many people have learned new techniques, they've learned their feelings with one another. Some have realized what they have and don't have...

[waitingforplayer2]

[ Either he knows something, or he just likes when killing happens, and... she doesn't think it's the latter, exactly.

It's a kind of easy trust that she feels from him. She wishes she could have the same, but... she does understand it.

The way he feels it for his Ultimates, Nanami feels it for her friends. ]

I didn't know him that well. But if he had wanted to hurt Keigo, he would have, and he didn't. So...

I think I believe in him, because I believe in them. Probably.

[commences]

When he comes back... I'll introduce you properly if that's okay.

( because he's an ultimate who does the impossible, just like nanami... they do the impossible, they do thing sthat they shouldn't. )

But he would never hurt them... him and Akehoshi-kun truly wanted what was best for them.

[waitingforplayer2]

Please. [ She nods eagerly. ] I was sad I never really got a chance before he was gone.

[commences]

He was busy it seems.

( with this, with everything, but komaeda can't bring himself to despise it. )

You'll like him, he was always thinking of others. Just like you.

[waitingforplayer2]

I... yeah. [ Just a little frown, toying with the buttons on her currently-off game console.

Not disagreeing with him though. Just thinking.

But just from what little she saw, and from-- the bedroom... she nods slowly. ] I think I see what you mean.

[ She finally looks back up at Komaeda and can't help but smile a little. ] Like you, too.

[subtract]

Seriously? You're going with that again?

[sorry komaeda but as much as he (unfortunately) likes you... he is rolling his eyes. he is sighing loudly. he's calling amami on his shit for making noah and sara upset.]

He acted on his own and distracted everyone for multiple months with his stupid antics... Rantarou Amami was the only one acting selfishly. He prioritized his personal goals and comfort above all else, the facts speak for themselves.

Not that I particularly care... if he wants to be selfish, fine, he got what he wanted in the end. But don't try to spin it like he was doing everyone some grand favour.

[commences]

( add... not how he wants to battle with komaeda, but to anyone else, it would look like that. )

Did you know him, Add-kun?

( does he know him like he knows sara, like he knows noah, just like he knows komaeda, did he know anything about him? )

He can't even think about himself, but everything does look selfish from your point of view, doesn't it? It's not a grand favor for everyone, but there are some that can appreciate it, and others— ( he looks at add, smiling softly. ) who can't. That's why this is so difficult for you.

[subtract]

[no but amami put fish in his room and he'll never forgive

but also... he understands his position. even without knowing him, he knows he'd have done the same.]

Sacrificing one life for another, many lives for another, stepping on a mountain of corpses just to save one precious person... kukuku, only a moron would call that a selfless act. Who is it really for? Amami's selfishness, or Keigo's? Either way, the answer is the same.

Pinning your own agenda onto someone else's actions... it's distasteful. Pathetic. Accept his choice for what it was or shut up.

[commences]

Are you trying to protect the type of agenda that it is, then? Are my views too horrible for you to understand?

( he doesn't understand it — being selfish — komaeda has always lived selfless, he's done everything for others, and not for himself. the way amami lived his life, he never thought about himself, because he had no identity, and he found one through a certain person. )

You'd do the same thing, I know, but you're selfish, you'd do it for yourself and them. Amami-kun would do it for them, and not care the outcome that happens for him. You two are different, but you can't speak for him when you didn't know him.

[subtract]

Oh, is that how it is? Only Amami-kun is the one who's selfless?

[he was trying to stay composed before, but now there's venom in his words. so you're saying he's better than me, is that it?]

It's wrong for people to be selfish, so it must have been another reason, is that right? It's impossible for someone you like to have done anything wrong, but everyone else can be the villains? Is that what you're trying to say to me?

[commences]

( he could bite his tongue, but that's not true. he's not the only one, but that's the narration he gave in his rebuttal. )

At this moment, due to what happened. I am, he's the only one that's selfless because of his actions.

( as for those who are selfish, those that only work for them, those that don't give anything to anyone else. he's never thought ill of add, even now, if he this was his fault, then komaeda would protect him too. )

Listen to yourself, I never said your selfishness was deplorable. I never said it'd make you a villain, but you'll parrot what's been said to you before, won't you, Add-kun?

( calling yourself a villain, when has komaeda ever said that or even made that claim? ) Selflessness exists.

[subtract]

Who decided to make you the sole judge of everyone's character? What do you even know about me?!

If you want to glorify Amami's selflessness, why don't you go ahead and die like him, too?! Go be a martyr for your stupid hope!

[commences]

I understand hope better than anyone else. You can't understand the meaning behind it when you won't even open your damn eyes!

( the structure behind hope only makes sense for those who want to see it, but how many times has add pushed it away? the idea feels nothing meaningless when he talks about it, like it doesn't exist, and that he can't he part of it.

what did amami do wrong? why do they have to hate him for this? )

And what if I won't? Are you going to call me selfish because I won't die hopelessly. If you want me dead so bad then kill me yourself, find unspeakable pleasure off my corpse if you want to feel right.

( if he wants to use komaeda like his own stepping stone, then he can. validate himself, show that selfishness of his that he wants everyone to know about because that's all it is. a painful selfishness that gives nothing, and komaeda sees no hope in it. )

You didn't do anything to stop this ( the meeting, his friends from being sad ) from happening, so you at least have a shot this time.

( but he doesn't sound worried about it, rather, he doesn't care and that's noticeable in his voice. )

[subtract]

[Add's expression twists with anger, a literal tension falling over the room as the pressure of gravity seems to build... you didn't do anything to stop this, like he had a choice, like anyone would've known if he had

he stands up, and the pressure lifts with it. spits out his final words before turning to march out of the room.]

Meeting you was a mistake. I should've shoved you into the void.

[fuck komaeda, fuck amami, he's done here]

[commences]

( everyone has a choice, just like how add is taking his choice to leave.

though, that doesn't mean those words don't hurt any less. komaeda may be numb, he may watch people die, but for them to willingly walk with those words off the tip of their tongue...

... )

If it wasn't "I this," and "I that," if you'd stop thinking about just yourself.... and thought about giving a little piece of yourself to everyone. If you'd just stop being so selective and afraid.

( had he got the chance to know amami, to know keigo, and whoever else. )

Then maybe you wouldn't be alone.

[subtract]

[he could've just stayed quiet. he could've let Add leave. but no, Komaeda always has to be right. he always has to push and push and push

he pushes, and something finally decides to snap

Add whips around, hand outstretched, and... it looks like a wave of cracks that spread through the air, a pane of glass that's being messily shorn through. Has Komaeda ever wondered what it's like to have a portal opened inside your own body? Well, now he won't have to, because those cracks are headed straight for his chest. It feels kind of like being stabbed with a giant serrated hole punch, and someone else is trying to push that hole back together but the jagged pieces won't line up.

at least there's no blood.]