yogen | npc contact.2

What if she can do it, Rokkun? ...Underdogs are quite the type.

( that's interesting, how lucky, actually, who knew komaeda's actions brought about that type — it does remind him of when npckun mentioned that someone was a good leader for the school or something, and now komaeda really believes that was maya. considering no one wanted to vote for her. )

She's very well-liked among our peers, you know... would you want her to be successful?

( despite his goal is heavily different from hers. )

She's well liked?

[ Her? And not him who has carefully cultivated this senpai persona that's supposed to be convincing if not for the fact that it's him? Surely he's doing better than Maya. ]

Mhm... you can tell when a person pushes you away on purpose, and every time I've spoken to her... She also cares, a genuine amount of sincerity.

( he leans forward, sighing softly as his head hurts just a little, it's the sun. )

You hate people around you... you're selective, being noticed isn't your forte, but people are still drawn to that. Unlike Arisu-san, she gives way to moments where she can be bothered by the people, as for you... you're well guarded, you play a role to those that look up to you if they don't know you... people might find it hard to speak with someone who is distant and doesn't want to be spoken to...

( he sighs and he's going to try and lift rokkun's head so it can settle in his lap. )

But then again... it's a selective few that likes her, so you two could be in the same boat, now it comes down to the morality of others. Things like that...

[ ...............yeah, he can't even deny hating people being around him. Proximity-wise it's fine; he can tolerate being in a classroom, and on the soccer field he can set personal feelings aside and use the other players in his gameplay, but people trying to get any closer than that? As much as he likes Komaeda, Rokkun is aware how hard of a time he's given even him. ]

...It doesn't matter if I'm hated, as long as I'm doing what I think is right. It's not like I don't care, though...

[ He cares... about people as a concept. Maya cares about the individual. Maybe that's where they differ the most. ]

...Ahaha, anything you do for hope is right.

( he's been around rokkun enough, from the start komaeda had taken him for some easy, country bumpkin that had too much time spent thinking up fantasies in his head. now, it's a little stronger than that, it's probably why he let's rokkun into his lap, why he allows him to do whatever he wants to his body, why he enjoys his company even if things aren't perfect — they aren't, but as long as they have hope, it's fine. )

You're doing this because you care, I just wonder... who is the arrow in whose Achilles' heel...

( and because rokkun cares, it's why he's worked so hard alone, he could be the only person who cares this much, but... )

I care, too, to see you prosper... to see you happy.

( no one can hear them, so it's fine to say these things without concern of someone turning their head to acknowledge them. )

[ ...He smiles a little, because— and, but, Komaeda does indulge him more than he should, and even if his happiness is alluded to in some wildly roundabout way buried under hope, he can tell that Komaeda cares in his own way too.

And then there's the other way around. ]

...Yeah, I wonder who it is, the one person who would be my downfall.

[ plurk pact ]

( what is he smiling at, did komaeda do something? this is all about hope, so maybe it's that. )

Hm... There's all sort of people.

( the young, the old, the crippled and the abled... anyone has a shot at deterring rokkun off the path that he's after, but he feels as if the other's hope is strong enough to overcome whatever may be thrown at him. besides, who could be his downfall? aha... )

If you remember your lives this well, make sure you remember them, and then... you can get...

( leans... )

them...

( leans to cup rokkun's face to keep it straight enough to face him. )

back.

( leans enough to give him a quick peck on the lips, because he does deserve his reward.

me 🤝 you
plurk pact )

[ ?? how Komaeda is saying literally anybody would be able to take Rokkun down and he's not wrong

he also has no idea who Komaeda is talking about and all higher thought processes stop at the kiss that doesn't last as long as he hoped and you know what I realized this feeling is like? it's like when something good happens and Komaeda has to brace himself for bad luck being imminent, that is exactly how I feel all the time ]

( stop!!!! rokkun paid his taxes so komaeda has to give him something, he was teasing it earlier anyway.

besides. BESIDES... rokkun doesn't need a longer kiss, komaeda doesn't even get why he likes to hold hand and kiss other than he's affection starved or something. )

Did you hate it? I'm sorry, that was pretty lame of me... wasn't it? I thought it'd be all dramatic, and catch you off guard...

( but the expression rokkun is making is not what he expected, ok, he has to be quick, mention something else: )

...Mmm. Can I ask a question?

No, you did surprise me.

[ The reaction just isn't really there, when expressions and such are meant more for other people's sake and doing things on his own means he doesn't practice that as much. He makes a great annoyed expression, and then everything else is varying levels of careful nothing. ]

What is it?

Oh good, I'll warn you next time... I'll give you another.

( but komaeda's kisses are rare, so he probably won't...

but he'll start with what's been on his mind a coooouple of times now. )

What do you think of our counselor? Every time I bring him up...

( rokkun doesn't hide it when he rolls his eyes, komaeda wonders if he's about to do it now. )

He's a piece of shit.

[ Man's deranged, don't get involved with him ]

( DAMN I LAUGHED CHILL OUT! )

Mmm... I want to talk to him again, I already met him once.

( he has never had a counselor before and the experience was okay, but that was a long time ago. )

But to see you have such a strong reaction... do you want to say it aloud?

[ SOMETIMES YOU HAVE STRONG FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR FATHER IN NAME ]

No. Why would you want to talk to him, though? He can say pretty words, but they don't mean anything.

( STOP THAT WAS GUNNA BECOME KOMAEDA'S FATHER IN LAW IN SOME PAST YOGEN LIFE he's doing his best. )

You have to when you kill someone, or when you feel bad... I might want to voice my thoughts.

( don't look at him, but anyway! ) He said a lot about us, you have to do everything so it isn't true.

[ Oh this is every teen's worst nightmare, when your parents find out about the guy you like and talk about the two of you behind your back ]

What did he say?

( with one hand, komaeda plays with rokkun's bangs, reading the expression on his face... is that bad? hm. probably, that is his dad, after all. )

He didn't like to discuss you with me, but that's the role of a counselor... can't talk about other students than the one he's talking to.

( he tries to recall the conversation, it was awhile ago, and komaeda's memory works for certain things, and others he lets go. )

...That you're an idiot, if you make it to graduation is on your own merit, but whether you make it... ( he hums, still fiddling with his hair. ) That our memories aren't really anything... experiences that are made up... things like that, I shouldn't waste my time with you.

( he pauses, letting it sink in for rokkun, wondering if those words mean anything. ) What do you think?

[ You ever hear second hand that your own father thinks you're an idiot who will never graduate high school, who has not made worthwhile memories or done anything of importance and will only waste people's time by being around them? ]

...That man is not my father. I'm emancipating myself.

Let's get married.

( emancipating yourself from being part of the arata family, and komaeda takes it in stride to bring up a different question that might not cause rokkun to be so annoyed, or however he feels about his father.

...

...

nice to know that rokkun's willing to talk about his father, though, he'll come back to this subject. )

...Are you serious?

[ Like, if Komaeda is serious, then yes, okay,

but if he's not then haha good joke he already knew that in his heart ]

W- Wait... do you not want to? I understand... that was pretty lame of me to say... ah...

( moving on he guesses, back to that subject because now he feels dumb suggesting it, it was a joke to cheer him up or something, but... maybe it was the wrong move!? well, rokkun did seem against eloping awhile ago... maybe that was the sign. )

...What happened between you and him?

I didn't say I didn't want to...

[ But he drops the topic, because realistically speaking,

...

anyways. ]

Nothing happened between us. And that's the whole point: he was never there for anything to happen. I'd get it if it were just me and I was a mistake, but why have two more children and not be around for them?

( having to use this icon knowing god i have to talk about rokkun's death after. insane.

for a very brief moment, komaeda's thoughts stop, looking down at rokkun while trying to find out the meaning to his words. there's something else to it, but he's honest enough, and that's enough to make komaeda look off to the side, but instead his hands covers rokkun's eyes so he can block off anything. he doesn't think he's blushing — he is — well, at least he can feel the way komaeda's hand shakes slightly. nerves? or maybe he didn't expect rokkun to even reply back. )

...If you say things like that, I'll...

( he bites his tongue, oh, deep breath, he bites down a little harder until he can feel a bit of blood in his mouth, and it manages to draw him back into reality. )

...Your sibling speaks highly of him, even though he a- ... ( his tongue hurts a bit. ) appeared once a week. Has he ever spoken to you while you've been here... he's a mysterious presence... omniscient considering he knows who murders and when... someone dies... he must have gained that here, because then he would have... at least found your body.

[ how he'd rather bleed and be in pain than consider being loved, that's a mood ]

...He's tried, but I refused to talk to him. He wouldn't have gone back to find me anyways. It'd be pointless. I'm dead and there's nothing he can do about it.

( stop in his mind he can't be loved you, this is the drill!!

...

...

...

keeps rokkun's eyes covered. )

He could have approved our marriage. ( ... ) Why is he a counselor? He should have kept his profession as a teacher.

( but then he'd probably wind up as rokkun's teacher, and then we can only imagine how that'd go. )

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