yogen | npc contact.2

[ not the rubric ]

You don't like crowds.

[ People, and noise. For different reasons than Rokkun doesn't like crowds, but a festival is going to be super noisy and super crowded and somehow he can't see himself touring stalls with Komaeda and so it just has to live a fantasy. ]

But you're right. If I miss one appointment, everything gets pushed back, and I wanted to at least make it back for new years.

...

( didn't expect rokkun to remember that, so he stares at him like "you got me there", but that does make it sound rather lonely, but he'll probably do something behind the scenes rather than walking around. festivals are the prime time for his luck to work against him, and he looks off to the side as he acknowledges that. )

Mmm... as a kindred spirit, I understand. Doctors aren't kind when you miss an appointment.

( those cancer and dementia appointments are insane, but he wonders has rokkun ever seen a graph of someone's brain deteriorating. ) Ah, did you finish that painting already? ( the one where komaeda would be with him on new year's eve or w/e if he finished it, he almost sounds impressed since it didn't look anywhere near finished. but he tacks on another question: ) Do you have enough for your appointments?

[ Hmm... Yeah. That fox picture he never had any intentions of finishing. He'll have to go find that and see what he can do about it. ]

...I'll get by.

[ Doesn't matter if he goes into debt here when he plans on skipping town next March ]

...I'm part of the reason why you're in so much pain.

( there goes komaeda trying to remove one of rokkun's arms from his waist because he wants to move while in thought. )

So... let me manage half of your expenses, and you can't say no.

( because it's partly komaeda's fault, and he's also someone who stays in the hospital? he wants to. )

[ There's a frown at that, because he distinctly remembers a conversation about how it wasn't Komaeda's fault but however that ended up, he can't just... speak away guilt or misplaced responsibility or whatever this is. ]

I can say no.

[ ...He doesn't say it, though, because he could use the money. Even if he hates, with every fibre of his being, people helping him. ]

I'll let you pay for half, if you bring me back a souvenir from the festival.

( listen, he doesn't feel bad as he did, actually, now he just accepts it as something he did, and he's fine with it. if one doesn't feel guilty, but understands they're part of the reason, is it truly guilt?

that said, he could say no, but komaeda likes it better when he listens. )

...I'll bring you something, but you're aware I hate too much noise. Can I borrow Fujioka-kun, he'd make a decent slave to carry out my wants and desires when I don't want to deal with others...

( please... )

No. Leave Akki alone.

[ The guy's like a rabbit. If you bully him too much or scare him badly enough, his heart's going to explode and then he'll die. ]

...Is that how it is.

( like he's figured something out just by hearing four words, and komaeda glances off to the side like he can't even look at rokkun.

can't believe that's typed like komaeda does a lot to akki's heart!! sighs... )

I'm really good at telling people what to do, you can trust me.

( like how he controlled the monokuma kids, come on... he has experience. )

I know you're good at telling people what to do...

[ But are they reasonable things? can he say it without snapping a collar around somebody's neck? ]

I already know he's going to be at the game booths, though. If you pull him away from those, he'll be whining the entire time.

( he asked AFTER, not at the same time! give him some credit. )

Then it works in my favor, I know what I want to do, and I'll have him do the heavier work... he'll be compensated, I'll allow him to test run it.

( komaeda understands gamers, sort of, not all the way. without warning, he'll wrap his arms around rokkun's waist instead to lay his head there, as if this is supposed to enable him to tell akki to work for him or sumn. that, and he's trying to hear the sound of his heart. )

You wanted me to get you a souvenir, right?

[ Mmmmmmm yeah it's hammering

It's Komaeda's turn to have a chin placed on his head. ]

I want a souvenir from you, not from Akki.

( he's trying to look up at him, but can't from how they're positioned... so he'll listen to his head instead.

the way the teacher won't come back to this class... crying. )

And a birthday present, too?

[ This is why the teachers ditch immediately after class ends, they don't want to see this shit ]

You remember my birthday?

( where's helena to get her soaps... )

...Why did you lie?

( and he aDMITS IT JUST LIKE THAT? SICK AND TWISTED IN HIS HEAD. )

When did I lie?

[ Komaeda's selective dementia never works in Rokkun's favor, why ]

To Kawaii-san, why did you lie?

( because now she'll never know it was a lie. )

[ He just... didn't say anything. That's not a lie, not really.

It was a very pretty geode. He can't say that's the reason. ]

...You two put in so much effort into it, that's why. Between a cake and a present and being there for me... making me feel loved for a day... I couldn't turn that away.

[ It was a very pretty rock. Also he's attention starved. ]

( they did put in effort when it came to him... komaeda's not surprised about what he put in, but he'll think of rika's efforts, and exhale slowly. )

That's a strong word, I don't think I've ever heard you use it before.

( or maybe he's heard that word in another life, but part of him feels that if it's something that the other felt, maybe it's not entirely a lie. though, he just doesn't believe rokkun would say something so... from the heart? or maybe he thinks that's what komaeda wants to hear. rokkun is a complimentary liar, his lies work in his favor, and sound nice at the same time... makes you want to thank him. )

You can only choose one, though.

Edited 2021-10-22 08:07 (UTC)

[ Choose one what? a birthday? ]

June.

[ His real one means nothing when he rarely ever lives to see his next birthday, when he's exactly the same year in and year out, when there's nobody else who's ever celebrated it as far as he can remember— not his siblings who were too young to expect anything from them, not his absent parents who he doubts knew the date anyways. November 6 is just another day. ]

No.

( but that's an idea, he wants june compared to his real one? even though komaeda knows it now, but rokkun will be gone the entirety of that month so there isn't anyone to really talk to him about it aside from his doctors, and his sibling is how komaeda even learned so they're able to. without a thought, he hugs rokkun a little tighter, his mechanical hand wrapped around the wrist of his other to keep them up against his back. )

I'll get you a souvenir, and a present... so when you come back, will you visit me?

( he wants to tack on "first", but maybe that's a lot to ask considering rokkun's a very busy man, and komaeda doesn't like making selfish demands either. so he'll let rokkun do what he wants in that regard, when truth be told, the other doesn't have to see him at all. )

[ He can't ask Rokkun to make a choice and then disregard the choice, what

Having his birthday in the hospital's going to be kind of sad, he thinks. It'll be extra work on the staff to update all those paper charts with the correct age and stuff. At least it shouldn't take too long, he thinks... Pre-op, op, post-op, therapy... definitely doesn't want to go back to school but he'll have to. At least it won't be boring at school. ]

I will.

[ He leans into the hug, and returns it— it's a hug that starts off as a squeeze, then relaxes into something more comfortable, one he doesn't wish to ever end. ]

I'll come back to you, Nagito. And when I do, I'll be strong enough to lift you up, like you always do for me.

( the choice was does he want a souvenir or birthday present, but komaeda decided to give him both...

it's difficult to stay in his arms like this, because komaeda doesn't want to like it, knows what happens when he does — something good, and he'll probably hurt himself afterwards. if he thinks of it as bad luck, horrible luck that he's in his arms like this after class, then good luck will weigh out... he shouldn't be able to press his chest against rokkun's chest and remain there satisfied, but he does, and he even closes his eyes as he listens to the rhythm of his heart.

then he has to say the cheesiest stuff which is enough to make komaeda chuckle, no, he hasn't done anything, but it's always been rokkun's hope that worked for him. his hope has always been one of komaeda's favorites. )

You don't have to say such dramatic things... ( he pauses, thoughtful. ) My arms will be empty the entire time you're gone... so you have to fill them upon your return.

( maybe an added note: )

Run back to me, and then pick me up... just like that.

( it might not be the best run, but the run in the making post therapy has to be impressive, and he'd want to see how far rokkun has came. )

[ he's really going to make a crippled man run

not like he hasn't before, and not like Rokkun wouldn't do it again ]

I'll do just that. I promise. In the meantime... take care of Kogamo for me. I don't want either of you to get too lonely.

[ The little shopkeeper will fill up Komaeda's arms and nobody will even have to ask them, he's sure. ]

( yes he is, because that's his crippled man running...

god, how i checked the date on this thread because i wish i could say well "kogamokun will have their arms full with their lover" could have doxxed subaru right here, right now. now being told to take care of npckun, he livens up... )

Oh no... maybe we will die without you so you have to come back...

( he'll take care of npckun, but the also have other people to chew at their time, and komaeda's... annoyingly clingy, this will be a tough void to fill. )

...That side, I'm sure they'll miss you while you're gone. You have to write ( us ) them letters about your progress... biweekly.

Edited 2021-10-24 04:40 (UTC)

That's going to be like... two letters.

[ It's only going to be a month or so? He's not a writer, it's just going to be something like

11/XX
Still alive.
--Rokuro ]

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