yogen | August Event

[ An Ultimate... It's a person he's talking about, npc-kun realizes. People. Idols? The publicity would help their little shop... ]

That's... not what I want either. That's not enough.

Hmmm... Hope! It would do you good, to have something like that would be able to carry you towards the future.

( he sighs, nodding to himself, to have hope is all anyone even needs. that's how komaeda lives, why he's able to smile, and keep up his positive attitude. )

Even if you're alone in the world, hope will always cover you in its radiance.

( that vibrant light so nothing feels dark anymore, to know there's still a chance of seeing every step before them... hope is such a beautiful concept, especially when many people can thrive in it together. his eyes fall upon npc-kun, looking through them, not even realizing they're there until he can feel a warm liquid run down the corner of his mouth, and immediately he raises one hand to wipe it away.

...

he shallows. )

...W- What do you want?

[ ... ... ... ]

Oh.

[ They look away from Komaeda for a moment, and then looks back up at him, hesitant, gears churning. ]

Hope...

[ The way Komaeda speaks about hope... What he means by it...

... ]

I want to meet Hope.

( they want to meet hope, and that is more than enough to make komaeda's heart skip a beat. a sensitive subject that he knows all too well, because he too wanted to be useful to Hope, to find the concept he admires so much.

all of his problems slipped away, no longer holding him down (or so he thinks), and to share that feeling of warmth and accomplishment. )

Everyone gets the chance to relish in extravagant Hope.

( he stands up properly as he looks at the surface of the counter, and once again he's pulling himself up to sit on top. he leaves room for npc-kun if they so wish to do the same, but komaeda sits with his legs dangling like an excited child. )

Hope forgives you for all your sins, and some you realize weren't even sins at all! Can you accept the possibility that your previous actions weren't a sin or unforgivable. Overcoming such things is important to meeting Hope, using your past endeavors to strengthen yourself now.

( npc-kun is no ultimate, they have no talent that equates to the greats. but they can learn and acquire some, at least enough to satisfy them by birthing it for others. )

[ Everybody gets the chance, maybe, but they have to wonder if it's still something possible for them, or if they've squandered it already.

...

They go ahead and sits on top of the counter next to Komaeda, ankles crossed and hands loose on their lap. ]

That would be nice... if my sin wasn't a sin. If I could forgive myself for doing what I did. Is it okay? Is everything that happened supposed to happen, for the greater good?

( as npc-kun speaks, komaeda knows his own sins, and his search for hope will overwrite all his wrongs. hope is kind, everyone can take part, and maybe that's what makes the concept of it so comfortable. )

Has no one told you? When it comes to hope, it's seen as a positive. When you committed your sin... what was the reason?

( he leans forward, looking up at the other from below. )

Some people are unfortunate and not aware that it was for a reason as grand as hope, because they're afraid and allow despair to consume them.

I know that... With Hope comes forgiveness. If I meant well, my sins would be forgiven...

[ It doesn't matter what the reason was; to them, it was a good one. They're a good kid. Even now, they're trying to do the best that they can, sitting in this little shop, staring down at their hands. ]

I know it in my heart, but getting others to see is different. If they don't agree... I don't know how to convince them. If I tell them, I will be nothing more than a sinner in their eyes.

It's hard... When people won't see eye to eye, and it's because they don't understand you.

( that's not bad, though, because it means everything they do will be for a reason that amounts to something for them, and others. )

If you didn't do what you did, would you be here offering little gifts for everyone that passes by?

( are they only afraid of being a sinner, of being shunned? some people don't matter, but there must be people who do for them if they care this much. )

You have nothing to prove to them, because if you want growth... you have to plant the seed, and the way you tend to it will bear fruit later. Whatever you did... ( he'll grab npc-kun's hands, emphasizing with a small squeeze. ) ...was it with these hands?

[ Do they want people to understand them? for people to care? they don't know... people don't matter when they all boil down to the same: customers. Their gifts are wares, their forced personality, their actions, all to that same end.

It didn't always used to be like that.

...

They lift their eyes up from their hands, held limp in Komaeda's, and looks at him.

... ]

It was. Is that my seed...? Or is there something more I need to do?

( limp is no good, the lack of strength almost feels like they're willing to give up at any moment. they're searching for some sort of foundation to keep them from falling over. it's a pathetic sight, and yet, if there's this want towards hope being part of their life... )

You embrace it, you don't look down on it, or it would have been for nothing. A seed of hope is a beautiful thing, and there's always more... hope is neverending but...

( he frowns, sighing right after. )

You call it a sin, that it's unforgivable, but first you must overcome that because... it was that life changing, needed for your development... how will you grow stronger if you let it hold you back?

( hm, komaeda's a free spirit compared to npc-kun. so it must be difficult, but one step at a time normally does the trick. )

Can you do that?

( because when they explained it to komaeda, they made it seem like a weakness. as long as they can solidify that between them both, besides it's just them here for the moment. )

[ Can they? Accepting is different from embracing; if it's just accepting, they can come to do so. But being proud of it, that's harder. They can't change the past. What happened was purposeful and necessary. They know that, but still...

... ]

Yes.

[ They think so. In time. With some effort. ]

I don't even know where to begin, but... [ their fingers curl in Komaeda's hands, almost as if silently asking for help, but then they stop and relax again. It's something only they can do, after all. ] I know I can do it.

...

( it's for a moment, he thinks. that he feels npc-kun's fingers curl, and the gesture is... easily read, they're new to hope, they want to meet it, obtain it, to be free, and who knows hope better than komaeda who has wrapped their whole life around the idea of it — his dedication, time, and love. )

Don't worry, I love hope, I'd do anything for it... to see how much it'll shine from you, I'll help you as much as I can.

( he's saying that on his own, because it'd be unfair, even if npc-kun has made up their mind that this is a solo endeavor, komaeda still has taken part in nurturing the hope for his peers. the one's who were afraid of moving forward despite having the means to. )

It's funny that you say... you don't know where to begin when it's already started. ( he indicates by squeezing the hand with the tally, ) Instead, you have to continue, ah... I want to give you something, but it's such a shame I don't have one on hand to offer.

( he's a little disappointed by that, but he'll figure something out. )

Continue...?

[ Getting tallies? Is that hope? ]

What did you want to give me?

[ Presents... Doesn't matter if they're actually receiving anything; just the prospect of presents is enough to make them go !! in anticipation. ]

Did you think it was over that easily?

( that would be a shoddy hope, one that starts and ends after one simple instance? no, hope should be forever, that way npc-kun can bask in its warmth. )

Hope like that would only be despair, especially if it was only a one time thing. Hope has to stay with you forever, but it's not selfish, hope is what you gain with everyone... like that person, they helped your hope. What a beautiful sacrifice... ah, unless you sacrificed yourself.

( he looks at them, a little curious as he points out their mark. as for the item he wants to give. )

Hope, it's a start, but having it was enough to know that it was real! I tried to collect many of them at one point... before you think hope is just a material item, it's not... hope can be many things, and that's because hope isn't confined into just one appearance... there's a hope for everyone.

[ npc-kun isn't looking at Komaeda when he looks at them; they're staring off to the side, as if lost in thought. This is a heck of a lot to think about, after all, what they should do and how they should act.

...

They look back at Komaeda. ]

What does your hope look like?

Mine? You could say... the Ultimate Hope is my hope. They're everyone's hope.

( manmade hope, the hope that hope's peak created, but that person komaeda knew is different — when komaeda met them again, their appearance was different, but they were still that person. komaeda sees them as two separate people regardless, and the moment he fell in love was meeting hope for the first time — it's still an experience he thinks about every so often — he's a little flustered, but don't mind him. )

He had black hair, red eyes! He used to always call me — ( boring, said his existence meant nothing, and that's very unhealthy, but komaeda loved it. he can't even explain that to npc-kun as he sticks his hand into his pocket, looking for the charm that he purchased to toy with until something sharp presses into his hand. ) Ow!

( he pulls his hand back, blinking in confusion, to see if he's bleeding — what dare stop him from chatting about his love for hope! he recalls that rokkun had something to break the skin, and that was a pocket screwdriver (the way i also had to search for this), but considering komaeda's dementia, he thinks it's the charm that he purchased. digging back into that pocket once more, he's pulling it out to see so he can put the cap back on — how would that work with a bead? don't ask him, but actually, his eyes widen for a moment as he pulls out a star-shaped item that reminds him of the ocean, and the way the sea glitters from the sun above. )

Oh! Look what you did, oh!

( it's in a shape of a star, can fit the palm of his hand, but he takes his hand back from npc-kun's own as he uses it to break a piece off. it snaps as easily as they can be put together, but he holds out one for the other to take, and komaeda's excited about it. )

I haven't seen one of in awhile, you know these only appear when hope is born.

( and npc-kun saw that komaeda didn't carry anything else in his pocket, and if the ends of the item hurt that much, he wouldn't just dig his hand in and out without a care like he was before. everything works on komaeda's time, leaning forward as he grabs the others wrist, putting the fragment into their hand, and after he forces their fingers to close around it. it's actually warm... but that's what hope is too, warmth, comfort. )

It had to come from your own budding hope, it's been dormant for so long, but now it's showing merit! How lucky! It's yours, you should keep it safe, this sort of hope... is rare, you know?

Huh? Wha...

[ Isn't the thing warm because it was in Komaeda's pocket this entire time? npc-kun looks down at the hope in their hand, then holds it up over their head and turns it about in the light, the same way one would do with a rock.

It's that thought that makes a smile grow on their face, and they laugh in surprise at the happiness that little act gives them. ]

I'll treasure it forever! Thank you!

( stop i think they're warm in general bc they're made from love and friendship right... i'll double check monomi later.

it shimmers in the light like something valuable, a different gem from what npc-kun sells, but they should be able to tell if they're really into the items that they sell. it's one of a kind, because this hope came from them being together. this is a little piece of hope, something that was meant to be shared between the students on jabberwock, part of their rehabilitation — make them better, ease them into position where they didn't have to be ate away by their despair. that was the reason those existed, but komaeda doesn't have to relay that information.

also komaeda's special because i learned this, and this is npc-kun's chapter 1 meeting with him... lucky, no one else has one except the og, but you know what... cherish it. )

Hope is a beautiful thing, even when small, it's capable of motivating those who can't go on. I couldn't live a life without talent, or the hope that comes from it. That's my hope. ( what about black hair, red eyes? same thing. ) ...but even those with no hope can make some through their struggles, and their attempts, it may be small... but it shines through the darkness. Hope can be something as solid as this, or something easily extinguishable as a life... that's how things grow, with a little bit of hope.

( hopefully rokkun won't be upset about their sibling in the hope cult, crying. yet, it's when npc-kun laughs that komaeda falls silent for a moment, something he wasn't expecting, and then he smiles himself as he glances down at the hand he accidentally stabbed at first. )

...Thanking me? There's no need, it was just hope.

[ Komaeda "if you don't say hi to me first I'll hate you forever", same ]

Don't say it's "just" hope! Nothing is just hope! It means a lot to me, you know?

[ presents!!!! always mean a lot ]

( thinking about how many people are locked out of his route, npc-kun has a chance. )

...Did I say that? How rude of me, how idiotic... That was a mistake, and one I'll never make again, I should kill myself for thinking in such a manner.

( he takes hope too seriously, komaeda does, and he feels ashamed, dropping the star-like piece in his lap from shock. npc-kun is right, it's more than "just" hope, hope... is the foundation, the reason they're all even here. their livelihood, and a world without it would just be hell on earth, even in this school, it's scarce, but there are moments where komaeda's able to find it. like how a few fragments managed to appear in his pocket.

he sighs, but it's hope, so he switches his gears immediately. ) Ah, you're understanding! I'm proud of you.

( he lifts one hand, placing it on top of npc-kun's head to rub gently, not enough to ruffle just yet... but acknowledgement. )

To live a life without hope is meaningless, everything we do for hope is absolute good... do you still feel wronged? Or have you finally realized, that you're right, and I'm right... ( he lifts his own arm away after patting, and his sleeve falls down to expose his seven tallies — only a few, but he likes to think of each and every one as a hopeful endeavor as he taps each one slowly. ) ...stepping stones for hope, we'll bring out so much to the world!

[ There's a little flinch when Komaeda places his hand on their head, and they freeze until that hand is lifted again. Somebody is proud of them... oh, they're beaming. ]

Yeah, we will! I'll work hard too to spread hope to everybody!

( oh, he doesn't know to place his hand to his chest or what... hope. this is them moving forward, it can't instantly fix all problems, but it's something to latch on. he settles his hand back into his lap, picking up the fragment that's missing one piece. )

To see what sort of hope you'll spread, I'll be there to witness it.

( like how he watched the warriors of hope, you know... sometimes you just watch kids do their best, but now that he talks about it. )

What was the first ever item you sold? Is that why you became a shopkeeper, was that too a hopeful experience?

( would make sense if this is how they got into this profession, also komaeda never had. also, he wonders if the other will get excited talking about it... their hope. )

Crack! That's not why I became a shopkeeper, though.

Like cocaine!?

( the way i SPAT. )

Then why did you choose that? It is pretty hopeful of a choice, being able to engage with others...

Yeah, like cocaine. It was there, and raked in big bucks.

[ It was a great sales opportunity, that's why. ]

Please let August be better than July I'm begging

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