yogen | npc contact.2

[ There's very little reason Rokkun ever needs to be out in the courtyard besides stare glumly at the tracks, so maybe he's doing that and distracted enough when Komaeda comes up beside him and confiscates his arm. ]

I wasn't... but sure. Okay.

[ electric cage deathmatch let's go ]

Come on, come on...

( he's going to lead them towards a direction, but he analyzes his prey before completely jumping in so give him a few steps before he hums in thought. )

...You're normally a little more indignant, did something happen in class today?

( who are they going to watch fight, maybe some npcs be their jesters and die. )

I'm not always indignant, [ he says, indignantly

It looks like the courts are empty, though, which is why he had suggested it before in the first place, someplace you can just lie on the ground and stare at the sky and feel alone. ]

Anyways, nothing happened. It was a normal school day.

[ and maybe that's why he feels a little antsy ]

What's put the court on your mind?

( well, that's a plus, he guesses. )

You did.

( a simple answer, he just knows it as a place the other must frequent? and if not, it must mean something since he told komaeda about it. it's probably third best to the void — komaeda values the library, and losing the silence was unfortunate, and then the void is a place one can be alone as well, and now... here's the courts. )

What a waste, though, something so normal... living a life like that makes me sick, but you're hardly normal... ( as he continues, he sounds grateful. ) maybe that's why I like being around you. ( that said. ) Should I stay away from you, Rokkun?

( he thinks that maybe he's been around him too much, perhaps it's suffocating, and maybe komaeda lives off the other's capability to slightly understand him. others have difficulties, rokkun has never mind what komaeda says or does. )

[ What part of him reminds Komaeda of the courts, he wants to ask, but maybe it's the way he conducts himself, humming with danger beneath the surface, a warning to stay away when anybody gets too close. ]

No, I don't want that. Being around you isn't boring.

[ Frustrating at best, but never boring. He's quiet for a moment, staring at the electric cage they approach, one nobody willingly subjects themselves to. ]

...You said you wanted to hear what's on my mind, before. Do you still want to?

( that fit of normalcy people want here is hard to conform to, and part of him is surprised that he hasn't dropped to their standard. he doesn't linger on it long, he can like it, but he won't linger when he can hear the electricity snap close by, the constant buzzing that overwhelms the small headache that he can focus on that, and pay attention to rokkun's words.

he glances towards his direction. )

...Yeah.

( he stares at the cage, the interesting thing about set-ups like this is the will and desire to remove their hand once they touch it. even as his eyes stray from looking at rokkun to that, he doesn't migrate to it, and instead he matches rokkun's steps. )

What sort of thoughts pass through your mind...

[ Static and white noise masking a constant internal monologue that doesn't get voiced but he takes a deep breath and clears all that out, reaches for the handle of the gate and pushes it inward without hesitation. The buzzing fills his ears instead, makes the hair at the back of his neck stand on end. ]

I was thinking that this is the longest I've spent a school year alive. And how that might not have been the case if this weren't my last year. And how I feel like having flan tonight.

[ Assuming he does have a spare key and hasn't been living homeless in a park somewhere all this time ]

( it's been about nine months or so... and he states that's the longest he's been alive? komaeda's silent for a moment as he thinks back to what the other has said previously, but his thoughts feel muddled from the buzzing, the small headache... )

...You know what's keeping you alive. ( like it's an obvious answer, but he has to listen to him to understand what's on his mind. ) That hope of yours... because it's so close and within your reach, I wonder... if you'll grasp it.

( he'll pull the gate up behind him once they pass through, and yes, he made sure rokkun went in first so he doesn't see the frown komaeda makes at the comment of his flan. )

...That's something you mentioned before, having died many times, and people killing you. ( hm. ) Had you died, would you return to the tree, too?

[ Six months since the school year started, which is even sadder, but Rokkun looks more irritated than relieved or accomplished. With a huff, he goes to flop down on the ground, flat on his back in the middle of the court, net above his head. ]

It wasn't always people, but, I guess, yeah. I knew I would always come back, though. If I didn't, I wouldn't have done all that.

[ Dying ]

( six months, he couldn't live for six months? i'm literally going insane. aside from that, komaeda stares down at him rather than sitting down. listening to the electricity snap as he thinks — are these his thoughts? )

What all did you do?

( it's like he's playing therapy or something, is this how the counselor feels? aside from dying, possibly killing himself... part of him wants to ask what is rokkun's story, not "their" story, but his. komaeda doesn't remember much of anything, but rokkun does, he was the one who lived an extended life in purgatory. )

That, and... what's it like waiting to come back, is it lonely?

[ There's like only a dozen of you still here six months later after game start, he likes to think six months is pretty impressive. Before, in the past, he did what he could, but this has been six months of forcing himself to sit on his hands apparently doing nothing, and it's agonizing. ]

Not really. In a place like this, you're never alone. It was boring, though, and I was impatient. The waiting sort of feels like how this school year has been, actually.

( scratches his chest because it's itchy.... gauze pad or something since he has his cool would now or something. now, to hear that he's impatient, komaeda can't his head to the side with a short laugh, almost like he should have known. he wants to do something, and he's usually the same way, it's why komaeda can't settle down. )

How funny... to struggle, to die, to fail... to drown in the futility of it all... again and again and again...

( he pauses, wondering if that's how it went, before he squats down next to rokkun, watching him watch the sky. )

We shouldn't rush hope, it has to build over time... but to see your shine... to see that hope you've told me about, it's been growing over those years as you waited...

( ... ) Have we ever went to the tree, together?

[ Hate how I genuinely have to make myself a timeline someday to keep track of who's stabbed and when

Rokkun turns his head towards Komaeda and raises an eyebrow, because that's... poetic... he supposes. A thought he's kept tucked away in the back of his mind for years and years, given the form of words and they're...

hm ]

I don't know. Probably, if you were there with me. [ Was Komaeda ever present for any of Rokkun's deaths? I feel like Rokkun denied it at one point, but he's a liar and I have bad memory and it works out. ]

I always tried to get back as soon as possible. Some years, you didn't even exist. But you're hard to get rid of completely, so I wasn't worried.

( not a chart, yes you should because i never know when my characters are hurt. komaeda probably heals up in like two days so i just... looks to the side.

oh... is that how it is, if rokkun died, they'd wind up dying together all the time? komaeda doesn't know... should he know? every time he looks at him, he tries to piece his face to his memories... but things are so muddled, pasts that doesn't seem like memories he'd have, and then he doubts he'd be lucky enough to be next to someone like...

...

...

funny, to hear that some years is involved, and that he's been around a little longer than what he thought. he can't refute it because he has no memory, but... )

What were your thoughts like when I didn't exist in those timeframes? Did you have Fujioka-kun to rely on?

[ murder chart and stabbing chart... ]

Not always. Mostly it was just me. Maybe that's why I died so often.

( we filled the quota this month, now it's only hope chart... )

...You know I was told that you didn't need me this year, that you walked this path alone.

( he sits down propey this time, looking to rokkun like he wants to read his expression. )

[ It's this dumb blank stare he wears when he doesn't want to look like anything. ]

Who told you that?

What else is on your mind...

( is that his dementia or is he moving on? who knows. )

...How soon would you come back after being sent to the wisteria? I believe we guessed an estimated time.

[ So, this is neither what they were talking about nor what was on his mind. ]

We did, but it doesn't matter anymore, because I'm not going there. I'm not dying this year.

( STOP!!!!! LEAVE KOMAEDA ALONE, sometimes you get excited to know your friend is doing better this year. )

I know... you have so many things to do.

( he's going to crawl on top of rokkun while he's laying down, and just sit on him like you would do a horse, just so he can look down at him as they converse. at least komaeda can block out the sun by being in the way, he has his uses!! )

Keep talking this is about you, after all.

[ Is he doing better though

But, ugh, somebody sitting on his stomach makes it hard to breathe, like Lily's not even 10 pounds and already I can't breathe with her standing there. ]

If you keep sitting on me like that, all I'm going to be thinking about is you.

( he's lived longer than per usual.

how much does komaeda weigh *goes to check* 143lbs, rokkun will be ok, because he's not going to move. )

It's no different than that night we spent together, besides... I want to talk about you.

( he emphasizes this by placing his hands on both sides of the ex-athlete's head, leaning down so that he can stare right into his eyes. his own remain empty, pale and sickly, and there's not much thought behind them because he wants to read what's on the other's mind instead. )

...Make it worth my while.

( please komaeda's thinking about what rokkun did as a second year, when did he start to believe that dismantling the school was an option. please rokkun, get your mind together. )

[ His mind is sort of in the gutter and he wants to say something about Komaeda taking his breath away but he can't breathe, whose fault is this. ]

...lie down first.

[ something something distributing the force so it's not concentrated in one place, a physics excuse ]

( lie down first... does that matter? he tilts his head to look at him until he does as requested, and he'll slip himself off rokkun so that he can lay right next to him, and he stares up at the sky which hurts his eyes actually —

it's a burning sensation that almost feels like it's pushing down on the cornea, and forcing him to look away. so he closes his eyes, arms placed across his stomach as he takes a slow, but deep breath. )

Your turn.

[ With a sigh, he lets his eyes slide closed too. The world, once again, is white noise and darkness. ]

What do you want to know?

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